CHAPTER SIX
Bill opens one eye to look at Joe, whose voice sounds a little funny.
"We've got company," he says.
"What, did the fish come back? I told you, ignore them, just splash a bit and get out of the warm water, they'll go away."
Joe is facing the shore, looking at something. He doesn't seem too happy with what he see's. I bet the snake came back, he thinks.
"No, I don't think that will work this time, Bill"
"I thought you were a tough guy Joe, don't let a little snake upset you."
"Not so little, Bill"
He turns, prepared to get a big snake to leave, when he spies movement on the shore. No snakes, big or little. Girls, or women, actually. Three of them.
"Oh, I see that, Joe:"
There on the shore not ten feet from where their clothes lay, were three bikini clad young ladies. Joe was right, they weren't little, just the bikinis were.
Bill turns to Joe, but doesn't find him. He looks around, then see's he has moved to deeper water, with just his head sticking out.
"Joe, what in blue blazes are you doing?"
"Come out here Bill, maybe they won't see us." he whispers.
"They'll see our heads Joe, I'm sure they'll figure out sooner or later that the rest of us is out here too. Just stay still. Maybe they won't come into the water. They won't even know we're here." They stayed where they were, watching the shore to see what the girls were going to do.
Two of them put towels on the beach and sat down on them. The other one walked down to the lake and looked down the shoreline. She pointed something out to the others, Joe looked but he couldn't see what it was. She continues to walk and look around. That one is going to be trouble, thinks Joe. The other two are sitting on their towels, talking to each other. Good. Oh, not good. They just took off their tops.
"That one in the yellow reminds me of someone. Says Bill, thoughtfully.
"If you say 'Margot the Magnificent' I'm gonna hold your head under water until you turn blue!" Joe threatens.
"No, actually she reminds me of your mechanic."
Joe looks at Bill, then at the yellow bikini girl, then back to Bill.
"Fred?" he asks. Fred must weigh at least 250 pounds, is bald, over 60 years old and smokes a cigar.
"Sorry Bill, I don't see the resemblance."
"Not to Fred, Joe," Bill explains, "his office. He had that calendar on the wall when we picked up your car last week. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah, I remember." Now he does see a resemblance to the girl. At least with the body. In fact, just the body, he wouldn't have noticed if the calendar girl didn't have a head. But she did have big….
"Oh Oh." says Bill.
Joe doesn't like the sound of that.
"Look Joe, she just found our clothes. She's showing the others now, too."
The girls start looking around, trying to locate the owners. They look down the beach in both directions, but find no one. Yellow bikini shades her eyes and looks out on the lake. She spots the two of them right away, and waves. The two on the towels replace their tops. Like that really helps, thinks Joe, it looks like two eye patches connected with strings.
Bill, always friendly, waves back.
"What are you doing, Bill?" Joe hisses at him. "You want them to come out here? You're naked, remember?"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry."
Joe just glares at him, how can you forget you're naked? None of this would happen if I just stuck to reading about stuff.
The girls are standing there just talking, looks like they are deciding whether to come out or not.
Joe's kind of shy around women, he finds it hard enough meeting them in a bar, fully dressed. Meeting them naked standing in just a few feet of water is not his idea of fun. He wonders if he gets in the current he could drift down stream and out of site. No, maybe not. With his luck he would come around the bend to find a bunch of Girl Scouts.
Bill is still watching the three on shore.
"I hope they don't decide to take off with our clothes, Joe. That could get embarrassing." Bill seems genuinely concerned.
Joe looks at him, not believing what he just said.
"I think the ship has sailed on that one, Bill. We're way past embarrassing, we're headed straight for humiliation."
Joe jumps, and slaps at the water again. Bill looks over at him.
"What's the matter, Joe? Fish come back?"
Joe just glares at him.
"Well, looks like they're going to join us Joe, here they come."
Oh great! This day just keeps getting better and better.
"This camping idea of yours is not one of your best, buddy. I thought you told me one thing we did not need to worry about was women in the woods. What do you got to say about that now?"
"I was right Joe, they're not in the woods, they're in the lake!" he smiles feebly at his own joke. If looks could kill, Bill would be dead and Joe would be on death row.
The girls are heading their way, yellow bikini leading them, the other two following close behind.
"You know, most guys would think this was great. One for each of us, and even a spare!"
"Bill, for crying out loud! You're a married man!" He knows that Bill doesn't really mean this, it's just his way of covering his nervousness. That's how he handles it. The more nervous he gets, the dumber the jokes. Joe handles it by smoking. He'd give anything for a cigarette right about now, and pockets to keep them in.
"Hi there! How's the water? Seems kind of chilly here."
"Move around until you find a warm spot," Bill offers his advice. Joe looks at him like he's nuts. Good, warm them up, maybe they'll stay all day.
As the girls get closer, Joe moves out a bit further. Now what? Seems like the water level changed. He was up to his neck a minute ago, now it's down to his chest. And warmer. He's looking around trying to figure it out when Bill tells him,
" Oh, you found a sand bar, Joe."
"Yeah, lucky me."
The girls are giving them the once over, trying to decide if they are worth their time, I suppose. Yellow Bikini seems to be the friendliest, she introduces them,
"I'm Edna Mae, and this is Julia, and over here is Betsy. You guys camping here? We're not coming in any further, none of us can swim."
"It's not deep here, you'll be ok," Bill tells them.
Good thinking, Bill. Encourage them. Not that they would be likely to sink, thinks Joe, not with those beach balls.
Bill decides to carry on a conversation with them.
"Yeah, were camping, just got in this morning. We decided to cool off a little so we came down to the lake. I'm Bill by the way, and this," he says, pointing to Joe, "is Joe."
Joe smiles slightly, but just nods his head in greeting. This whole thing is getting bizarre. What is the proper protocol for meeting young ladies while standing naked in a lake? It sure wasn't covered in anything he's read. He's trying to act nonchalant, but not sure how to do that. Damn! The fish are back. He tries to ignore them, but is not succeeding. He jumps again and takes a swipe at the water.
"What's wrong with your friend? He seems a little twitchy." Edna Mae asks.
"Oh, don't mind him, this is just his first time in a lake."
"Oh, this is Betsy's first time too."
Joe just watches what's happening, keeping an eye on Betsy. Something about her seems vaguely familiar, but he can't place her.
"Betsy's just a city girl, this is all new to her," explains Julia. "Me and Edna Mae have gone camping since we were kids, we grew up in the country."
"Are you enjoying this, Betsy?" asks Bill, " I grew up in the country too, but like Betsy, Joe's a city boy."
"Yeah, Bill this is really groovy! I'm having a blast."
At the word 'groovy' something clicks in Joe's head.
"Where are you guys from? LA?"
Groovy, he's heard that before, and from Betsy, he just knows it. Suddenly it dawns on him, the girl selling magazine subscriptions in Bill's neighborhood. The one they arrested!
"Yeah," Bill is answering Betsy, "We are from…."
"New York," Joe says interrupting Bill.
Bill turns to look at Joe, raising a brow questioningly. New York? What's Joe up to?
"Oh," says Edna Mae, "What do you do in New York?"
Bill turns once again to Joe, anxious to hear this one.
"Uh, we're Furriers. Yeah, we sell furs." Joe smiles and looks like he is pleased with himself to have thought of something.
Both Bill's eyebrows are now up near his hairline.
"We're just here taking a vacation. You know, getting away from business for a while."
Getting away from business? Joe gives Bill the 'Let me handle this' look he uses on the job. I don't know what you're doing partner, but you lead, I'll follow, or at least try. Maybe the fish are starting to get to him. Or too much sun.
"Oh, you in retail or wholesale then? Do you have your own shop?" Betsy seems a little too curious.
"Retail" says Joe. "we have a little place on Fifth avenue. This is the first time on vacation in years, right Bill? Never been here before."
"Uh, yeah, right Joe. Furs keep us busy." He looks at Joe, shrugs his shoulders, like, I don't know what you want here.
The fish are back bothering Joe, he wants to move to cooler water but forgot which way the sand bar went. He didn't want to end up in less water than he was right now. He gives another twitch which has everyone looking at him like he's having spasms. Which if this keeps up, he will. He'd give anything right now to trade this situation for a traffic jam on the freeway. And to have his cigarettes. And pants. And his gun, so he could shoot Bill.
"You bring your wives with you too, or leave them in New York?" This is from Edna Mae.
Bill again turns to look at Joe, he is starting to feel like he is watching a tennis match. Well, where are the 'wives' Joe? he thinks.
"Uh, no, no wives, just me and Bill." Everybody looks at Joe with surprise. He looks at Bill and says,
"What?" Suddenly the implication of what he just said hits him, and he turns red.
Bill doesn't know where all this is going, but he can't sit it out any longer, he has to join in. He looks a Joe with a smile,
"Yeah, it's been just me and Joe here for the past eight years. We make good partners, right pal?"
Looking at him he is half afraid Bill's going to hug him. Nothing he does surprises him anymore. Though Joe seems to be catching up in the surprise department himself.
"Well girls," says Julia, "we should head back in. Time pretty soon too get dinner started. You know how it is with the campfires, they take a while to get going good," she explains to the guys.
"Yeah, maybe we'll see you around," says Bill. The girls turn and head for shore. Once they get there, they gather their things and wave to the guys, and head for their campsite which is in the opposite direction of Bill and Joe's. With immense relief, Joe notices they left their clothes where they were. He turns to Bill and says,
"See you around? Why didn't you just ask them to dinner? Let's get out of here and dressed before the Ladies Aid Society shows up next. I want to get away from these damned fish!"
Joe takes off heading to the shore. This can't end fast enough to please him. Bill is following close behind. They get into their clothes quickly, then sit on the rocks to tie their boots. Joe pulls out a cigarette, lights it and inhales deeply, sitting with his eyes closed for a moment. Bill watches him.
"Give me one of those, Joe."
Joe extends the pack to him. Bill takes it and lights up.
"You taking up smoking now, too?" asks Joe. Bill used to smoke, but hasn't in a long time.
"No, just this afternoon kind of calls for it." They sit for a minute, both reflecting on the days events.
"I can't wait any longer Joe, what's with the New York story?"
Joe just looks at Bill, not saying anything at first. He takes another drag of his cigarette before answering.
"Didn't you think Betsy looked familiar? Didn't you hear her use the word 'groovy'?"
"Everybody uses that word, Joe. It's not exactly unheard of these days. What's that got to do with anything? And why are we from New York of all places?"
"Remember a while back when I came out to your place for the weekend? We played cards, and you tried to glaze a duck."
"Oh, yeah," Bill laughs, "I remember. Then that girl showed up selling those magazine subscriptions, and we busted her on a bunco charge. Yeah, and she said we were a couple of groovy guys….Oh, that was her? Betsy?"
"Bingo! I thought she seemed familiar right away, but just couldn't place her. Then she made that 'groovy' comment and it fell into place. I don't know why I did the New York thing, it just came out and I rolled with it. Didn't want her to recognize us, not sure why. Guess I just don't think fast without my pants on!"
"Why are we Furriers?"
"Was the first thing I thought of. At least you know a little on the subject after that under cover case."
"Yeah, I guess I could fool someone who knows nothing about it. OK, now what about the two of us? How does that figure in, or do I even want to know?"
"I wasn't heading there Bill, just kind of landed in it." he laughs, remembering, "but you got to admit, they left in kind of a hurry after that."
"At that point I wanted to leave with them. Come on, partner, let's head back. I'm ready for some of those good steaks of yours. And I have another surprise for you, too."
"Bill, I think I've had enough surprises for one day. Have pity on me, OK?"
"You'll like these Joe, they're in the cooler, and Eileen sent them."
Joe is all smiles, if it's from Eileen, it's gotta be good!
"Let's go, Bill, and maybe a cold beer too."
Bill tosses his cigarette to the ground, and Joe frowns at him. Bill kicks damp sand over the butt, and they head back to camp.