CHAPTER SEVEN
They take the food and beverage coolers out of the back of the car and set them on the picnic table. Bill takes out two bottles of beer, opens them and hands one to Joe. They both take long drinks. After the day they've had, they taste really good.
"Where's the charcoal, Bill, I can get that going," offers Joe. "At least that is one thing I know how to do. And cook the steaks, make that two things. I'm not a complete idiot, you know."
"No, not a complete one. But you'll do until one comes along."
"Gee, thanks a lot, pal."
"Just kidding, Joe, just kidding. You're doing OK for a beginner. Now, tell me the truth, you're having a good time, right?"
"Right, just can't decide what part I like the best. Hard to choose, was it blowing up the air mattresses and nearly passing out, or maybe wandering through the pines, looking for a bathroom. Could be the hike where I fell and knocked my self silly. Or my personal favorite, jumping naked into the lake and being attacked by a school of oversexed fish. And top all that off with three Bimbo's in bikinis, who now think I'm a furrier from New York and you're my significant other. And all this in one day." He shakes his head at the memories.
"Can't wait to write my memoirs, should be a best seller. I guess I should be glad this was just for the weekend and not a week. I don't think I could survive."
"Next time, we'll do a week. You'll be used to it then." Bill thinks they are having a great time, maybe they can make this a regular thing.
Next time? thinks Joe. Next time I bring my gun! I'll put one of us out of our misery.
Joe starts piling up the charcoal in the small grill Bill brought with, and places it in the fire pit. He gets it lit, then settles back with a smoke, waiting for it to burn down. He watches Bill who is taking food out of the coolers.
"What you got in there, you said Eileen sent some goodies?"
"Yeah, she did. Here, Joe, catch." He tosses two potatoes wrapped in foil. Joe places them on the edge of the hot coals.
"She sent that salad that you like, and some bread."
"That salad with the tomatoes and olives and those little cheese balls? I love that!"
"Yeah, I know, and it looks like my wife does too. She seems to know a lot of your likes. Guess she didn't know you're not big on desserts, though."
"Why, what did she send?"
"Lemon bars, a whole tray. You probably won't want any."
"Lemon bars! Count me in! I may even eat yours! I'm getting to really like your wife more with each meal!" Joe wiggles his eyebrows at Bill with a grin.
"You need to find you own woman, Joe, and leave mine alone!"
"Yeah, but I'm fond of yours, and she already knows what I like!"
Bill laughs, all this fresh air is bringing out Joe's funny side. He tends to forget he has one.
The coals are finally ready, Joe turns the potatoes so they cook evenly, and places the marinated steaks on the grill. Won't be long now until everything is ready.
"Those steaks sure smell good," says Bill, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Joe was grilling his marinated peppercorn steaks that Bill just loved.
Finally everything was ready and they filled their plates with steak, salad and bread. Bill was slathering his bread with a pungent garlic butter mix, Joe just using plain.
"You sure do like that garlic. Positive your not Italian?" The garlic smells were making his eyes water clear across the table. He didn't go in for that strong stuff very much. Onions, garlic, chilies, Bill loved them all. Joe got heartburn just smelling Bill's food most times.
"No Italian Joe, just pure Irish. We like the potatoes, with garlic of course."
"Of course," agrees Joe.
When they finish their meal, and Joe polishes off two lemon bars, they clean up the campsite, and dump the coals from the grill into the fire pit.
"We have to be real careful Joe, any food left out and it will attract the animals. Especially raccoons and bears. The raccoons are scavengers, and will make a mess, bears are too, but they can make a mess of you. You don't want to tangle with bears, Joe." Bill shakes his head. "No sir, you do not!"
Joe has no intention of tangling with bears or raccoons. He had enough today just tangling with fish! Speaking of which,
"When are we going to fish, Bill? It's almost 6:30, isn't it getting late?"
"Just the right time now for evening fishing. They bite good just before sundown. Maybe we'll catch our breakfast!"
"Fish? For breakfast?"
"Well, what did you expect? Egg's Benedict? Maybe some French Toast?"
"That doesn't sound too bad, got any of that?" He's joking, sort of.
"What if we don't catch anything? Then what?"
"Don't worry Joe, I still have plenty garlic nut butters left."
Somehow, I knew you would. We'll have fish if I have to catch them with my bare hands!
"Grab a couple beers Joe, and the tackle box. I got the paddles and the nets. Let's go fishing!"
"Beers? Should we drink while driving the boat, Bill?"
"First of all Joe, it's a canoe, not a boat. And we 'drive' it by paddling it, I think we'll be OK. We won't get going fast enough to get pulled over, I'm sure. I'm talking a beer or two, not a case." He shakes his head and picks up the paddles and nets, heads for the lake.
Joe finds four beers in the cooler. He stands there for a minute trying to figure out how to carry them and the tackle box. Not quite enough hands here. He slips two of them into his pants pockets and carries the other two in his right hand, grabbing the tackle box with his left, he follows Bill to the lake.
He finds Bill standing by the canoe, hands on hips and shaking his head.
"What's the matter, Bill? Problem?" Joe asks.
"Uh, no. I just need to do something. Be right back."
"If you're looking for a tree, Bill, there's plenty here." Joe helpfully points out with a grin. Bill just shakes his head and keeps on going.
He returns in a few minutes carrying a small cooler and two fishing rods. He hands the cooler to Joe.
"Here, put the beers inside so they won't roll around in the canoe. I forgot to mention that."
"I see you also forgot fishing poles. Even I know that we need them." he says while getting the beers from his pockets. Bill gives him a strange look.
"I ran out of hands, had to carry them some way." explains Joe with a shrug.
"Oh, I was wondering what you had in there, thought maybe you were just happy to see me!" Bill gives him a silly grin.
"Uh, we might have another problem though. Something I forgot to mention."
Joe does a quick look around, afraid that those three women came back. Or maybe the snake. Bill notices and figures right away what Joe is looking for.
"No, they're not here, Joe. At least as far as I know. It's a different problem. With all the plans I totally forgot to tell you that you need a license for fishing. Now in all the years I've fished, never once have I had to show one. But just our luck, it'll happen today. Wouldn't look right for a couple of cops to get tagged for that."
Joe just shakes his head,
"I thought you had this all together Bill? Maybe, just maybe, you'll have to admit I am not a complete dimwit."
"I thought it was an idiot that you weren't complete in?" Bill tries to lighten the mood.
Joe reaches into his back pocket, and withdraws his wallet. He opens it, and pulls out a folded yellow paper, which he waves under Bill's nose.
"One fishing license! Will that do?" He laughs at the surprised look on Bill's face.
"You got a license? How did you know to do that?"
"I'd like to say I figured it out, but truth be told, it was Walter. You remember Walter?"
Bill thinks for a minute, trying to recall.
"That old guy in your apartment, that him?"
"Yeah, that's him. We were doing laundry the other day and I told him about this trip. He used to fish and he was interested. He's the one who told me about the license, so I stopped on the way home the next day and picked one up."
"Well good!" says Bill, " now let's go catch some fish!"
They load all the gear and pull the canoe to the waters edge.
"Go ahead, Joe, get in. Right up front."
"Uh, maybe you should get in front Bill, I don't know what to do."
"What you do, Joe, is get in the front. I guide it from the back."
"Oh, Ok, I can do that."
He steps into the canoe and nearly looses his balance.
"Take it easy, Joe, keep in the center and you'll be ok.
He makes it in fine now, and sits on the front seat, facing Bill.
"Turn around Joe, it's easier that way. Here," he says, handing Joe a paddle, "the wide end goes in the water," he says with a grin.
They start paddling, heading out on the lake. Bill says that they will just go for a bit, so Joe can get the feel of it. It doesn't take long until they are moving smoothly through the water.
"This is nice, Bill. We just glide along, it's relaxing. I'm starting to feel like an Indian," he jokes.
"You're kind of looking like one too," says Bill with a chuckle.
Joe twists around to look at Bill, rocking the canoe as he does.
"What do you mean" he asks.
"I think you got a little too much sun today, your face is pretty red."
"Probably just the leftover embarrassment from the afternoon activities, Bill" Though he had noticed that his face felt warm, and so did his back. It's been a long time since he had this much sun.
"Joe, you keep paddling, I'll set up the poles, unless you want to do your own?"
"You know that I haven't a clue what to do with that, but I think I can manage to do this."
Bill selects a couple of colorful lures, a yellow for himself and a purple and red for Joe. He attaches them to the poles and hands one to Joe.
Joe twists his head around to look back at Bill.
"Is it ok to turn around? I feel like I'm sitting in this thing alone."
"Sure Joe, just move slow, one leg over at a time. Here give me your rod, so you don't drop it in the lake." He doesn't seem worried if I drop in the lake, guess I'm replaceable.
Joe hands it over to Bill, trying to move carefully as he said. Finishing the move, he settles in and takes back the rod. He reaches for his cigarettes and lights one. Now what do I do with the match? He was going to toss it in the lake, but that didn't seem right, so he just dropped it on the floor of the canoe, putting his foot over it before Bill decides he's trying to set the canoe on fire. Think I'll get a lighter come Monday. Less to worry about.
Bill shows Joe how to cast the line in the water. He surprises Bill by catching on quite fast.
"Are you sure you've never done this before Joe? You're pretty good at it for a beginner. Did Walter give you some pointers?"
Yeah, Walter gave him a few pointers, no need for Bill to know that.
"Maybe I'm just a natural, Bill. If I keep this up I'll have to get me one of them hats!"
"Catch a fish, Joe, then we'll talk."
They continue to cast out and reel slowly in. Over and over and over. Not a nibble. Bill occasionally paddles a ways, then casts again. Joe reels in and looks closely at his lure. Purple and red. Maybe the fish don't like that color combo, he wonders. He casts again. At least he is getting plenty of practice at that. Bill's not having any luck either, with his lure of bright yellow. Weren't fish color blind? Seems like I read that someplace, he thinks. They continue fishing with no luck for the next hour, Bill keeping them moving at a slow pace.
"Where are the fish, Bill?" At this rate he better plan on garlic nut butters for breakfast.
"If I knew that, Joe, we'd be there, not here."
"Oh, yeah, right. Maybe we need different bait?" suggests Joe, trying to be helpful.
"Yeah, I was just thinking about that. Maybe I should strip you naked, tie a rope around your waist, and toss you in the lake for bait. You were really good at attracting them this afternoon, might work now, too!"
Joe looks at Bill, not amused by his joke. He is joking, right? You never quite know with Bill.
"I gather you don't agree with that idea, Joe?"
"I think I'll pass , but thanks for asking."
"Well, we'll try another half hour or so, then head in before dark. We can try again in the morning."
They continue on, but no luck. Looks like they get skunked tonight.
"What in the hell was that!?" Yells Joe as he ducks from something flying at his head, rocking the canoe in the process. Bill looks over at him and calmly says,
"Just a bat, Joe. It won't hurt you. They come out at dusk sometimes by the lake."
"A bat? What do you mean 'just' a bat? Don't they try to tangle in your hair or something? Maybe bite you?"
"Tangle in your hair, Joe?" He looks at Joe's crew cut, "I don't think that will be a problem, pal."
First snakes, now bats, what's next? Alligators? Downtown L.A. at midnight is starting to look safer to Joe. He's beginning to miss the hippies, those he can handle, at least they don't dive for your head, not usually anyway.
"Let's call it a night Joe, looks like the fish win this round. Hand me your pole and you turn around slow, we'll start for shore."