Down the Hall: Chapter 2

Part 1: More Fragments Chapter 75

Xander slapped hands with the blue-haired girl and seemed to shrink down half a foot and gained curves that he… she didn't have before.

"Thanks man, I'm going to go write my name in the sand now," the blue haired boy said, before walking outside.

"What just happened?" Anko asked.

"To open the way, one of us had to sacrifice their manhood, but our god is a prankster at heart, so we can switch back and forth with each other," Xander explained, her voice having a smoky quality that his had lacked.

"I'm pretty sure I'd believe just about anything you have to say now," Yuri offered.

"This is a different world," Xander explained. "We're two of the guardians of a portal to hell." She led them outside to a beach where Oz was enjoying peeing standing up.

"How do we stack up against local fighters?" Kakashi asked, making plans in his head.

"You'd shred them like rice paper," Oz said as he shook himself off and zipped up.

"Really?" Anko asked in surprise.

"It's why I chose you," Xander replied. "Our world doesn't have chakra users or anyone close to a trained chunin."

"That makes me feel a little better," Anko said, releasing a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and stretching out her shoulder.

"Most of what you'll face is demonically animated corpses that drink human blood, commonly known as vampires," Xander explained cheerfully.

"And now I'm nervous," Yuri said.

"They are highly flammable, can be killed by wood or bone through the heart, sunlight and decapitation," Xander said. "They are four to five times as fast and as strong as a human on average, and by human I mean civilians with little to no training."

"And better once more," Anko said.

"They have noses like bloodhounds and can hear a mouse fart in a quiet room," Xander warned. "But most aren't bright at all. They instinctively know how to fight, but not well. Master vampires are stronger and faster, with superior skills and brains. A rare few can hypnotize people who look into their eyes, or have other mental gifts."

"Crossbows, swords and claws are most of what you'll be facing, they lack genjutsu and ninjutsu," Oz added.

"What's the local language?" Kakashi asked, planning to scout the area.

"Galactic West Standard," the two natives chorused, amused.

"Spoken, at any rate," Xander said. "The written language is English, while your written language would be called Japanese here."

"So we're going to need to learn to speak Galactic West Standard?" Yuri asked.

"It's the language we're speaking now," Xander said. "I chose your world because we speak the same language."

"And you couldn't do that for the written language as well?" Anko asked.

"Nope, and the reason why is pretty damn strange, and mostly guess-work, so don't ask," Xander replied.

"I've been sitting here for two days, let's get some food," Oz said, leading them up the beach towards the parking lot.

"It's been four days for me," Xander said as she followed along.

"Either time moves faster there or it takes a day in the hall to go from our world to theirs and the same back again."

"Probably the second," Xander decided, tightening her belt so her pants didn't feel so loose.

The three ninja eyes widened as they took in the paved parking lot and the vehicles in it.

"Steam engines?" Kakashi asked.

"Internal combustion," Xander replied. "Uses an almost explosive liquid as fuel and requires a lot less effort to run."

"Sounds dangerous," Yuri said as they entered the lot.

"Inexperienced drivers are a hazard," Oz agreed as he walked around to the driver's side and Xander opened the sliding door for them.

"Can't I ride on the roof or something?" Anko begged after they'd explained seatbelts, how to use them, why they had them, and how the van was old enough to ignore that law.

Oz started the van. "No," he said as he backed out and headed for the freeway.

Ten minutes later…

"You two have nerves of steel," Yuri said as they exited the freeway.

A quick stop for pizza gave the ninja time to henge into more appropriate clothing for their visit to the hospital, and for Yuri to heal Kakashi's burnt tongue as he learned that hot pizza couldn't be gulped down.

"Let's check Willow first, since she should be easiest to fix," Xander suggested.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Where were you?!" Willow demanded the moment she spotted Oz and Xander entering her hospital room.

"Getting backup and someone able to wake people from comas," Xander said bluntly.

"Oh," Willow said, deflating, as her boyfriend came to check on her.

"Are you OK?" Oz asked, concerned.

"I'm fuzzy," Willow said. "I did the spell again and this time it worked, but it was too late. Buffy had to send Angel to hell and it's all my fault!" She burst into tears.

Oz comforted her and Yuri moved forward, her hands flickering though several hand signs so fast they were a blur before they started glowing green. She placed them on Willow's head, causing the crying girl to close her eyes and lean into Oz until Yuri's hands stopped glowing and she removed them.

"What was that? Xander, are you a girl now? Who are these people?" Willow rattled off quickly.

"I used all my savings to hire a healer and two fighters that are skilled enough to take on a Slayer each and win," Xander explained. "To find them cost my manhood."

"Part time," Oz spoke up as if talking about the weather. "We time share."

"I'll yell at you later," Willow said, shocked out of her breakdown. "Buffy brought Giles in, he's in pretty bad condition. Kendra is still in a coma and the doctors don't think she'll ever wake up."

"Who would you like to handle first?" Yuri asked Xander.

"Giles," Xander replied. "If the situation's handled, we don't need Kendra yet, and she's in no danger of dying."

"Xander!" Willow called out before she could leave.

"Yeah?" Xander replied, wondering what other bad news Willow had for her.

"Cordelia's…moved to LA and Buffy…ran away," she finished softly.

"I knew about Cordy," Xander assured her. "And…Buffy will come back. In the meantime, we've got it covered."

"Time share?" Willow asked Oz once everyone else had left.

Sunnydale ICU

"Normally, the doctors and nurses would be all over us," Kakashi noted as they entered the ward unopposed.

"People don't like to acknowledge demons and monsters exist around here," Xander explained, "but on some level they know, so places like this will look the other way for us." She quickly found Giles' bed and gestured to him.

Yuri ran glowing hands along the librarian's body, the machines monitoring his health showing clear improvement as the seconds ticked past.

"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed, waking with a start.

"Giles, relax," Xander ordered. "Everything is fine."

Giles blinked and stared at her. "Then why do you have breasts?" he asked, confused.

Typing by Elrod Albino

Quick Omake:

"Then why do you have breasts?" he asked, confused.

"Willow figured that if I was so obsessed with them, I should get a pair of my own, and they were offering a deal on plastic surgery here, so…"

Another Quick Omake:

"Then why do you have breasts?" he asked, confused.

"What can I say? Puberty came at me in waves. First height, then hormones, and now finally I sprouted! About time too, I was tired of being so flat-chested. Do you have any idea how many people thought I was a guy?"

-I could write these all night- Elrod Albino