gUYS IM REALLY SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THIS. but uh. really sad chapter here. This song goes well with this chapter and especially near the end where its actually sung. i dunno WHY youd want to subject yourself to this sadness but here have a link:

watch?v=V9UsDl5gSuo

Hussie owns all of Homestuck and the Characters.

Karkat slowly made his way up to the door of his apartment, fumbling with the keys before finally unlocking the door. Upon entering the living space he saw his brother hunched over on the couch, hearing the all too evident sounds of sobbing.

"Kankri...?" Karkat quietly closed the door, a look of worry flashing across his face.

The elder brother looked over to the door, the torrent of tears increasing. Karkat rushed to his brother's side noticing the letter firmly grasped in his hand, slightly crumpled and wet from his tears. Karkat pulled the letter gingerly from his brother's wavering grasp and smoothed it out, eyes dancing across the page. The scrolling of his eyes growing slower, his hands shaky and breaths uneven. Every word screaming out of the paper, lashing cruelly at his mind. Any semblance of control he had was lost, the gut-wrenching sobs finally escaping his trembling lips as wave after wave of bitter sorrow trickled down his cheeks.

The letter was from one of his father's friends who frequently accompanied him on missions. The contents of the letter informing that one Mr. Vantas had been found after a week of desperate searching, shackled to a post and exposed to the sun. The letter was professional; worded in a dense prose so as to convey as little of the writer's emotions as possible, though it was obvious by the wavering penmanship that whomever wrote it was taking this no better than Karkat. What little Karkat was able to glean from the letter in his current emotional state was that his father had been captured and tortured for God-knows-how-long, before finally being put out of his misery.

The message continued to play in his mind, repeating itself over and over, his pain and anger sharpening his thoughts to a razor-fine edge, if but for a moment.

Why did people have to be so malicious? So cruel!? The entire point of my father's pilgrimage was to spread his peaceful teachings! Simply because he was different—in beliefs and in body—they shackled and tortured him! He committed no grave injustice! A righteous man such as him did not deserve such scorn, such outright hate! He tried to lead them to a brighter future and what did he get out of it? He got murdered, that's what!

That was when it really hit Karkat, his father was gone. He wasn't coming home for Christmas. No more Sunday Skype calls.

He was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

Karkat collapsed to his knees, staring through the misty veil at the palms resting on his knees, giving a bitter laugh at how incredibly empty they looked. He was beyond the point of sobs, simply staring down at his lonely hands as the tears dripped freely onto his jeans. Kankri slid across the floor towards Karkat, slowly wrapping his arms around him. Karkat returned the gesture, wrapping his arms tightly around Kankri's waist, desperate for something—anything— that validated he was still alive. He sure didn't feel like it. He couldn't feel much of anything. They sat in silence for what felt like eternity, neither one daring to shatter the delicate thread on which they currently walked. They held each other as tight as their muscles would allow, futilely attempting to replace that which was lost. Both of them knew it was an empty gesture.

After hours of sitting in his brother's arms, Karkat was finally drained. He sat—unthinking—at nothing in particular, an errant bundle of red sweater cupped to his face like an infant. His brother's head was resting on top of his, matching his own in terms of facial expression. They were both awake and neither even bothered to try and sleep. Karkat simply rubbing his thumb over the bunched up sweater in his grasp. He couldn't do much else, neither could.

== FOLLOW TEREZI

It had been an entire week since Terezi had heard from Karkat. She was worried, to say the least. She knew he had been having issues with people, and was desperately hoping he was okay. Before heading to school she made some time to message him.

Gallows Calibrator [GC] began pestering Carcino Geneticist [CG]

GC: K4RK4T?

GC: K4RK4T 4R3 YOU OK4Y? 1 H4V3NT H34RD FROM YOU 4LL W33K!

GC: PL34S3 R3SPOND. 1M WORR13D!

CG: IM SORRY

Terezi waited for a snarky response, which would assure her that he was okay. But there was nothing.

GC: K4RK4T WH4T H4PP3N3D?

Carcino Geneticist [CG] ceased pestering Gallows Calibrator [GC]

What? Did he lose connection?

Karkat wasn't usually like this and Terezi was even more worried about him. She wished he would just tell her what's wrong, maybe Gamzee knows…

Gallows Calibrator [GC] began pestering Terminally Capricious [TC]

GC: H3Y G4MZ33

TC: SuP SiS

GC: DO YOU KNOW WH4TS GO1NG ON W1TH K4RK4T

GC: S1NC3 YOU TWO 4R3 SO CLOS3

TC: YuP

…

GC: W3LL?

TC: WeLl WhAt

GC: :I

GC: WH4TS GO1NG ON?!

TC: I cAnT aLl Up AnD tElL yOu ThAt MuThAfUcKa

TC: BuT hE sAyS hEs GuNnA fInIsH uP tHe ScHoOl YeAr At HoMe :o(

GC: WH4T!

TC: YeAh BuT hEs CoMiN bAcK nExT yEaR

GC: 1 GU3SS TH4TS GOOD. OK4Y TH3NKS G4M

TC: No PrObLeM sIs :o)

Gallows Calibrator [GC] ceased pestering Terminally Capricious [TC]

This news didn't help Terezi at all, she still didn't know what was wrong with Karkat. At least she knew he was talking to someone. She would have preferred it to be her, but beggars can't be choosers. She'd have to keep pestering him just to make sure he was okay.

It had been about a week since the Vantas brothers got out of their beds. But today was a... special day; the day of the funeral. Karkat was clad in an all-black suit, matching that of his brother's. Their eyes were sunken and dark from the lack of sleep the two got the week prior.

All seemed silent to Karkat as he sat in his room looking at one of the pictures of his father. His brother lightly tapped his door before opening it.

"Brother? It's time to leave now." His quiet voice quivering in the deathly silence of the room.

Karkat simply nodded—a slow and fragile movement—and rose from his bedside, gingerly slipping the picture into a pocket. He shuffled out the door alongside his brother, his body felt so heavy he could barely pick up his feet. The two climbed into the black car and began the journey neither thought they would have to take this soon.

The sky was uncharacteristically dark and overcast, the air having a breeze in it that blew the leaves around whimsically. Oh how Karkat wished he could simply blow away from all of this like the leaves. The car eased up to their destination—a slow, lurching movement—and Kankri was the first to exit the vehicle. Karkat found he couldn't move, he thought if he didn't see the casket then that would mean his father wasn't dead. He knew this was but the dream of a fool.

"Karkat." His brother held out a hand for him.

"I know." He clutched the picture with one hand and grabbed his brother's with the other.

He used his brother for support as they shambled their way to the memorial service, about as much life in them as there was in their father. Karkat couldn't focus on anything being said through the whole thing, he just stared at his father's coffin the whole time, fighting back an onslaught of emotions. He was doing well—about as well as one can be in this situation—until he heard someone else break. It was a woman with a massive curl of unruly hair. She had collapsed to the ground—on her knees—and begun crying.

Karkat's heart went out to this woman, his carefully constructed wall began to break as well. He couldn't help but let a few whimpering noises escape as his lips quivered and eyes moistened.

'No please. Don't.' He didn't want to start crumbling too.

He knew that if he did his brother would too; they anchored each other and promised not to let the other fall today.

'Distract yourself.' He did just that.

With renewed gusto he gazed around the memorial service, he knew no one. There were two girls comforting the sobbing woman; one about Kankri's age and the other around his age. Shifting his gaze, his eyes landed on a tall mohawked man who had all the stoicism and confidence of a soldier. As Karkat continued to study him he noticed his cheeks were glistening... this man who looks as though he'd never cried a second in his life was in the same position as Karkat was; trying to keep his façade of strength.

The family next to him was one he did recognize. The Maryams, they were family friends—no—they were family. The mother of the family—Dolorosa—was a mother to all, and now the closest thing to a parent Karkat had. The daughters took after her well, Kanaya used to be Karkat's best friend, but they lost touch after elementary. Karkat didn't know Porrim that well but she served as an older sister to the boys.

Kanaya looked up to Karkat with kind eyes, 'I need you so much right now Kanaya…' even the voice in his mind faltered.

He didn't recognize any of the other faces in the crowd; he had never met them before and didn't know how they knew his father, but at this point in time he didn't really care. With a deep breath he seemed to regain his composure and looked back to the still corpse of his father, resting peacefully in its casket for the last time. The quiet droning of the priest had finished and the casket was closed, beginning its slow descent into the warm embrace of the Earth.

And then it started.

The beautifully harmonic voices of the choir men.

"In articulo mortis caelitus mihi vires."

"Nearer my god to thee, Nearer to thee. E'en though it be a cross, that raiseth me."

"Deo adjuvante non timendum in perpetuum."

"There let the way appear, steps unto heaven, all that thou sendest, me is mercy given."

"Dirige nos domine ad augusta per angusta."

"Sic itur ad astra, excelsior."

"Still all my song shall be; nearer my God to thee. Nearer my God to thee. Nearer to thee."

With every inch the coffin was lowered, Karkat splintered a little more. His hand gripped his brother's like he was holding on for dear life, in many aspects he was. He let go of his brother and fell to the ground, making no attempt to catch himself as he balled up on the ground, wrapping his arms around himself as he brought his knees to his chest as tightly as his bones would let him. His pained wails rang out, but the choir didn't stop. Kankri fell within moments as well, forming a protective shield over his brother as he hugged him and wept right alongside.

The service ended and with it, Karkat's hopes of his father staying with him. He, Kankri, and the family of Maryams sat together on the floor. Karkat now sitting upright but still clutching his sides as if to hold himself together. He heard footsteps but didn't bother looking up.

"Excuse us. We were very close friends of your father... and we think you might like to have this."

He and Kankri looked up, it was the woman who collapsed into a fit earlier and the man with the mohawk. The man looked as if he was bracing the woman, and the woman was clutching some rugged looking robe. To anyone else it would've looked like a heap of rags, but Karkat knew those rags; his father's cloak. Yet again teary-eyed, Karkat was surprisingly the one to stand up. He moved his eyes to the woman who was crying quietly over the cloak.

"Leijon." The man gently pushed the woman forward.

She looked up to Karkat and chuckled sadly, "Heh, this is your father's. You know," she sniffled, "He was such an incredible man. And…I…" she started crying again.

She looked completely heartbroken as she handed him the cloak, a woman who had lost the love of her life. Karkat took it and hugged the woman tight, as he felt himself begin to cry he pulled away.

"Thank you ma'am. I really appreciate you giving us this." He wiped away his tears with a long-damp sleeve.

The man stepped forward, "We have his other belongings, we'll send them to you as soon as possible."

"Thank you." Karkat gave a slight appreciative nod to the man as he walked away.

After those two left, the others stood to leave as well.

"Boys if you don't mind... we'd like to stay with you tonight." Dolorosa requested, the softest of smiles on her face, and the subtlest brow furrow.

"We'd love that." Kankri answered.

The ride home was a quiet one, Karkat sitting next to Kanaya and comforting him the whole way. With her help, he got the best night's sleep—albeit a dreamless one—he had gotten in a long time.