Conspiracy

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: So here's an important chapter, and perhaps something that I'm pretty sure everyone should see. We need to know how Beck is handling things, so here you go. And to all my Bade fans, enjoy even more.

Chapter 16 (A Crumbling World)

Meeting up with Beck felt surprisingly odd after a few days of not seeing him. She had been so busy working with Sikowitz, and watching over the family she'd been investigating, that she hardly had any time to herself.

Of course, she'd also been taking some time to watch Trina and Jason training together, as well as finding some enjoyment in seeing Ian and Tori spending time together before they were getting ready to leave. These moments were something to make her feel a sense of pride over, because she was the one responsible for making it happen.

"What's up?" Beck asked as he opened his door. At first glance, Jade was shocked to see him. He had patches of stubble on his chin and jawline, two circles beneath his eyes, and his normally neat and clean hair was a mess-as if he'd just woken up. "Sorry I don't look my best, I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"I see. Well, I wanted to talk to you. If you need to get some sleep, I understand."

"It's fine." He guided her inside and shut the door. She turned around and watched him yawn. The yawn was loud enough that the RV itself seemed to shake. "It's great that Tori and Trina will be able to get out of that hellhole. I was thinking about that. You've been doing a good thing, lately."

"Yeah, and I've been busy. I'm sorry about that." She walked to the couch and looked up to him. He ran his hand over his neck and smiled vaguely. "You must be so stressed out. I feel bad for involving you."

"I was involved the moment I made you be friends with them, but I don't regret that one bit." A chuckle fell from his lips and he shook his head. "Even if it eventually led to finding out my own mother is a psychotic monster, and my own cousin-that I thought he was-is a few cards short of a full deck."

Jade smirked playfully and shrugged. "Well if it's any consolation, we already knew Robbie was nuts." Beck dusted off the bottom of his sloppy shirt and started to laugh. "Given his mother, now we know why."

"I'd say it's more a trait inherited from the birth dad, but who knows, Ms. Shapiro seems psychotic too." He crossed his arms and let his shoulders slide down. "But you know more than I do."

"Haven't you spent any time with Andre? I mean, he's like a brother to you." Certainly Andre would be able to provide some comfort to Beck through all of this, but maybe it wasn't so much comfort from a brother or best friend that he needed.

She'd never seen him so out of it before. He always was so well structured and well-kept. Never was a hair out of place, and everything had to be in proper order. If something was out of place, he had to fix it.

Then maybe that was the problem. Beck was broken. He couldn't fix this problem, no matter what, his image of perfection had been shattered the moment he realized his mother was a monster and his cousin may as well be one too.

What was the point of keeping things up to a higher standard if the order of the universe was destroyed?

"Beck…" She extended her hand and met his gaze. His eyes were frantic and full of a lingering fear. "Come. Sit with me." She knew chaos, and this was it. "I'm here, okay?"

He took her hand and sat beside her. She could feel the tremor in his fingertips and the rush of the blood in the veins on the surface of his hand, just beneath her thumb.

"I saw that guy. The one who is helping Trina." Jade raised her eyebrows as he turned to look at her. "He's a bloody ox, like Andre is. Strong, masculine, and a very attractive man." She rolled her head to the right and tried to study him, but he was in such a state of disorder that she couldn't read him. Or if there was any jealousy in his subtle words, she couldn't detect them. "You've um, you've been watching over them too."

"Yeah, I have to make sure that David doesn't try anything. Same for Lanie or…you know."

"Yeah, mom." He scratched the side of his head and slammed his hand down on his knee. "So she is definitely involved in all this." He raised his hand up to his brow and scratched the crisp skin above his right eyebrow. "God."

"Beck, I don't think your mom is as involved as we think. I don't know yet, I haven't had a chance to talk to her." She squeezed his hand and leaned into him. "There's a chance she regrets her involvement."

"Regrets it? It's been at least a decade. Whether or not she regrets it, she's still involved-is she not?" Beck pulled his hand away and exhaled sharply. "You know, I had a thought. What are the chances? What if I'm related to that guy? How would I know?"

"I wouldn't worry about that, Beck." She thought back to his prior comment regarding Jason. Though she didn't detect jealousy in his tone, she had to wonder why he brought the man up. "Also, I did want to talk about something else. I wanted to apologize to you."

"For what?"

"Everything." She put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. The tremble in his body started to subside. She nuzzled his neck and gently squeezed his hand. "I um, I know that I've been crazy sometimes. Obsessing over every girl that comes around you, thinking I can't trust you to be faithful, and I know that hurts you. I never thought about it, but I know it hurts to think that the person you're with can't trust you."

"It can be irritating. What brought this on?"

"That you're right." She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. His gaze softened momentarily and his eyebrows moved inwards. "Jason is an attractive man, I won't deny that, but I have no interest in him since I'm with you. But, I was thinking about it and I thought…what would you think if you saw how often I had to talk to the guy-because I had to talk to him in order to get him to understand why he needed to help Trina."

"Yeah. You've been watching those two also."

"You mentioned that." She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. "And it's been strictly business. I can't tell you everything about the investigation, but I don't trust David-or Lanie. Even your mother, I can't trust wouldn't try something. But that's beside the point."

She looked down to his hand and slowly ran her fingers along his wrist and forearm. "The point is, I love you. I do trust you, and I know that you trust me. I wouldn't cheat on you, and I'd be worried if you thought every guy I thought was attractive or every man I met was someone I'd be jumping in bed with. I don't know what you must think of me, accusing that of you and questioning your motives all the time."

A smile gradually appeared on his face. "I deal with it. I wouldn't cheat on you. You can stress me out from time to time, and there are times when you annoy the shit out of me." Jade laughed once and felt her heart skip for a note. It was good for him to admit it, because she could say the same of him from time to time, but she still loved him. "And no matter what, Jade, I always love you, and I trust you."

"I'm glad."

"You may be the one thing in all this chaos that isn't chaotic right now." He stopped himself and she raised an eyebrow. "My god that's ironic as hell." Beck looked off to the right and a hum vibrated off his lips. "Did you think I was really worried that you had been talking to some attractive dude?"

"A little."

"Funny." He ran his hand over his neck and closed his eyes for a moment. "Of all the things that I've been stressing out over lately, that's the last thing that would be on my mind. I appreciate you thinking about me, though. I guess."

Though his words were gentle and kind, they still struck a painful blow to her heart and bled her own feelings of guilt from her. Knowing that he trusted her so much was hard to accept.

"For every time I've blown up over a girl so much as looking in your direction, you could at least get upset over a guy being in my line of sight." She narrowed her eyes and Beck started to laugh. "Why is that funny?"

"Oh it isn't, and believe me, if I thought there was a potential threat-I'd worry." Her head tilted to the right and she pulled the corner of her lips into her cheek. Beck set his hand on her waist and leaned over, kissing her forehead. "The fact is: I know you're not going to cheat on me. No matter how hot some guy is, you've got me and you know it. Until you give me a reason to question you, I have no reason to."

Joy swept over her and she let a single chuckle escape from her. "Damn." It was hardly fair, and she wasn't sure how she managed to be lucky enough to land a guy that was this secure in his relationship. "You're not even the slightest bit afraid?"

"I'm still a guy. Do I worry that there are better looking people out there? Yes. There are tons of men that are better than I am, whether it's physical attraction or even what's on the inside."

His hand rose to her face and cupped her cheek. He pulled his lips back into a line and any tension in his facial features melted away.

"Are there times when I feel like I'm not enough for you? Sure." Her lips parted and her eyebrows flew up for a moment. "But these things are normal for everyone in a relationship, I think. The truth of the matter is that I know you're not looking for anybody else, and I don't think I'm going to lose you to someone else, at least not today. God knows what the future holds."

"I hope we're still together in the future…"

"Same here, but for today we are together. Today, I'm sure about you and I feel secure. Right now…" He looked over his shoulder at the disarray that his RV was now in. Jade swallowed heavily and closed her eyes. Beck blew out a long, slow exhale and shook his head.

"Right now it's the only thing that I'm sure of. Please allow me that. As long as you tell me I have nothing to fear, I trust you, and I feel right now that's all I've got with all the shit that's falling around us."

It was true that everyone needed to find solid ground where they could stand and feel safe, to feel secure. She thought maybe it would just be her, or maybe it would be Tori and Trina-who could hopefully find their rock in Ian and possibly Jason.

Now she could see that even Beck, with his standard and perfect image shattering all about him, needed a rock to hold onto before the tide could sweep him away.

She was that rock, that solid ground that he needed, and she was more than happy to support him and keep him stable.

"I've never seen you so shaken before, Beck." She held her breath and his eyes darted back to her.

When everything was going wrong, and nothing was right, even the calmest and most rational minded person could teeter the line of insanity. "You know I'm not one to say it, but Jade, I've got no idea what to do."

Lost.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and brought her head to his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. She could almost feel it slamming against his chest and striking against her head, as if to push her away.

Her hold on him tightened until she could feel his arm around her back. "I'm here for you." She kissed his chest and shut her eyes. His body relaxed fully, with all tension in his muscles fading entirely.

The world could vanish entirely in that moment, for all she cared. The warmth around them was enough energy to sustain them, to comfort them against the fires that appeared to be brought from hell itself. And all of their concerns could wait just a little bit longer.

Do you think they'll be okay? They'll make it, and I'm sure Beck will be fine. He seems like a guy who needs structure and order in his life, so I wondered what could he be going through right now, and this is it. His entire life is in disarray, and he cannot fix the problem this time. So for once, he needs a rock to hold onto, and Jade is that rock. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it is important for characterization purposes of course. What are your thoughts?