Chapter 1 for disclaimers. Mild swearing in this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy...
"Stupid Prius. Stupid silent engine."
Jane grumbles the whole drive to Maura's, having stalled the vehicle twice on the journey over. They had swapped keys and agreed that Maura should head to Jane's apartment and collect Joe and pack a bag and that the women should stay at Maura's until the situation rectifies itself.
Jane parks outside Maura's and again struggles with staying upright in Maura's heels.
"Stupid Boy's night."
Why in the hell did Frost have to mention that? She really wanted to keep what the guys and her did separate from Maura. There were some things she didn't want Maura to know.
Friday night was usually their night, their 'date' night, but each payday Jane would join the boys from the department and they would head out for a night on the tiles with a definite 'what goes on tour stays on tour' attitude. It was always messy and it was not something she wanted the demure Doctor to experience, particularly from her perspective.
Walking into Maura's empty house feels peculiar, Jane feels like an invader. Within seconds the house is illuminated and English Strawberries are placed in font of Bass.
"There you go buddy. Don't worry Bass, it's Auntie Jane in Mummy's very sexy body. She will be over soon with Joe and then you two can play. If only Mummy and Auntie Jane could play together, now that would be fun."
Suddenly the back door rattles and Angela walks through the door.
Perfect. Her mother!
"Good evening Maura."
"Hello er Angela."
God it feels weird calling her Ma by her name.
"Are you ok?"
"Oh, yes thank you Maura dear. I just wanted to see how Jane had been today and ask your advice about something."
Jeeze Ma, you check up on me every day? Be patient Rizzoli, Maura wouldn't get worked up. Don't be a smartarse and don't lie!
"Jane is feeling a little odd today and not herself. It's the weekend though so she is going to chill out and go out with the boys from work. What did you want to talk about? Can we go sit down? These shoes pinch sooooo much."
Angela looks at Maura. Something seems different about her, it's almost as if the intonation of Maura's voice resembles Jane's. She loves Maura like a daughter but suddenly she feels that maternal bond as if this were her daughter. Angela shakes the feeling off.
"Of course Maura. Why don't you sit down, take your shoes off and I'll bring you over a glass of wine."
"Thanks Ma, ma-ma-marvellous. Thanks, that's marvellous."
Idiot.
Angela fetches two glasses and selects a bottle of red from the rack picking out the wine they indulge in each week. As she does so she reflects on Maura and how she is behaving very strangely indeed. Each week before Maura goes out with Jane, Maura and Angela have a glass of red wine and discuss the week's events. They usually discuss Jane and how many crimes she has solved; both women proud of the Detectives achievements in very different ways.
As Angela walks to Maura's sofa she can't help but notice that Maura is not sitting in the prim and proper way she usually holds herself, it is almost as if it is her daughter is sitting on the sofa and not Maura.
Maura has both arms open and resting on the back of the sofa cushions, her head lolls back on the cushion and her expensive shoes have been discarded and her stockinged feet are crossed and resting on the coffee table. It is the exact posture Jane has when relaxing in front of a Red Sox game, which is playing on the television rather than the documentary Maura would usually watch.
"Maura, I know we usually talk about Janie and what she has been up to, but I need to ask your advice and I can't really speak to my Janie about it."
"Sure Angela, shoot."
"Well, it's about Vince and I."
Oh holy crap! Jane puts the wine glass to Maura's lips and gulps the dark ruby liquid.
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I have only ever been with one man before, and I think that this weekend when Vince and I go out we will finally hit a home run if ya know what I mean. I mean we've been to third base plenty of times, in face just last week..."
Oh dear God no, please please make it stop.
As if by some miracle and hearing her plea, the doorbell rings.
Thank you.
Without Maura's heels slowing her, the door is opened quickly; anything to avoid finishing that actual conversation with her mother. That was a conversation she would not be forgetting in a long time.
"Oh hi Mauuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr."
Cute Maura, very funny.
Joe bounds into the living room, confused as to why her owner looks and smells different.
"Angela, how lovely to see you, is that the Shiraz Viognier?"
Maura sees her own eyes widen, forgetting their body swap.
"I mean, hi Ma."
Angela looks between the two women.
"You two are up to something."
"I'vegottogogetready."
Jane feels the panic start to rise, Maura tries her best to emulate Jane in order to diffuse the situation. Maura's 'performance' is affected and over the top.
"Ma! No we're not, we just gotta get ready, we're goin' out with the guys."
Angela looks at Maura, unconvinced, wondering why her daughter is talking like a Corleone.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli, I will find out what's going on."
With that Angela takes her own leave, kissing her daughter on the cheek before leaving and closing the door behind her.
Maura struts to her bedroom to see herself sitting on the bed flushed and obviously bothered.
"We can't go on like this Maur, we gotta work this out and get back to normal. Jesus, how do you cope with telling the truth allllllllll the time? It's exhausting?"
"I know Jane. Let's get tonight out of the way and then talk it through tomorrow. There must be a scientific explanation for what has happened. Between us we can work it out. Now come on, we've got to go meet the boys."
"Maur?"
"Yes Jane."
"Can we just go like we are? I mean, I just don't think I can face showering" and touching your breasts "until the morning. And today has been really shitty and I just kinda need a drink."
"Of course Jane, if that would make you more comfortable."
"Yeah. Plus we don't have to stay late, we can come home whenever you're ready."
"I must say Jane, I really am looking forward to this social gathering. It should be good fun."
Fun? Torture more like. Specifically let's all torture Jane Rizzoli. Tonight was going to be a long night.