Not Donkey Kong 2
Part 1: Chapter 12
"Where are we?" Joyce asked as they stood up and dusted themselves off.
They appeared to be on a small island floating in the air surrounded by a very chaotic sky, filled with squiggles of color. There was a giant statue of a stuffed baboon on a pedestal in the center of the island and at least a dozen strange looking creatures scattered about the grassy terrain starring at them malevolently.
"I have no idea," Xander admitted, looking around worriedly.
"You didn't happen to get my present from an antique store with a creepy guy behind the counter who promised it would ensure we were together for the rest of our lives, did you?" Dawn joked, trying not to panic.
Xander blinked and then grinned. "How'd you guess? It was surprisingly affordable too, all I had to do was agree to start a rumor that the local Italian restaurant had something to do with the decrease in stray cats, and he just gave it to me."
Dawn giggled and even Joyce found herself grinning a little as his response.
"Good Morning," Joyce greeted a blonde haired young woman in a white robe as she approached. "My name's Joyce. Would you happen to know where we are?"
If not for the pointed ears, slitted pupils, and cute little fangs, they might have thought she was just a short young woman on her way to a costume party. She didn't respond to Joyce's greeting, she simply raised her staff and incanted, "Heart of the flame, white ember's kiss, Blaze!" and a wave of fire washed over the three humans.
Xander recovered first, reaching out and ripping the staff from the demon's hand, and swung it like a baseball bat, nailing her hard in the throat. Rather than choking and gasping for breath, or even falling down, she dissolved into sparks of light, her expression not changing one iota from her blank smile. Dawn let out a relieved sigh as Xander turned to check on her, even as he winced, feeling like crap. In fact he could see Dawn visibly heal, glowing a soft green as did the section of ground she and Joyce were standing on, while where he was standing held a red glow. He moved to the right of her so he was standing on a section of ground that was glowing a faint green and found his own wounds fading.
"Wow," Joyce said softly, "I feel a lot better now."
"It's the ground," Xander said, "It's like a grid and the colors mean different things. So far all I've got is green good, red bad!"
"Another one of those things is approaching," Dawn warned as a robed demoness stopped 30 feet away from them and raised her staff.
"Heart of the flame, White ember's kiss, Blaze!" the demoness incanted, sending a wave of flame over them.
"Ow!" Dawn groaned. "Damn it, they can throw it!"
"Language," Joyce corrected her and then laughed. "Can't believe I'm worrying about that right now."
"She looks weaker," Xander said. "Oh, she's standing on a red!"
"Let me see the staff," Dawn said, sighing in relief as their wounds healed rapidly, even as their clothes didn't.
"We're healing more than we're getting hurt while we stand on green," Xander noted. "Nobody move." Xander passed the staff to Dawn, having nothing else close enough for him to attack the demoness with.
"Heart of the flame, White ember's kiss, Blaze!" Dawn yelled, sending a wave of fire to wash over the demoness, who'd already started looking rocky after nearly a minute of standing on a red square, causing her to shatter into sparks of light, most of which faded away but several of them drifted over to be absorbed into the three.
Joyce took a deep breath and noted she felt a lot better and even a bit stronger than she had before they'd ended up here. "Is this something you've dealt with before?" she asked, trying to keep calm.
"Nope, this is new," Xander said as a pumpkin headed scarecrow approached.
Dawn tried the incantation again but the flames didn't even singe him. "What? He should be flammable as all... heck," she complained.
"He's on a blue square," Xander noted.
"Blue means fireproof?" Joyce asked.
"Looks that way," Xander guessed. "Over here, Jack!" Xander called out as he moved to another green square closer to the creature.
"What are you doing?" Joyce demanded.
"Making sure he attacks me, I have more hand to hand experience," Xander explained as it advanced to the yellow square in front of him.
"Blaze!" Dawn quickly cast, the flame flowing around the pumpkin headed monster, but causing Dawn to screech in pain as she blistered instead of it.
Joyce tried to comfort her daughter as the blasters faded, thanks to the green square.
Xander lashed out with a right hand and cursed loudly just before getting attacked by the scarecrow, it's stick fingered hands leaving gashes on his skin.
"What do we do?" Joyce yelled.
Xander moved back a couple of steps to a green square next to a red one. "Yellow means you take the damage," he explained. "I have a strong right hand, I think I loosened a couple of my own teeth." Xander's wounds healed slowly and the creature moved to the red square as he'd hoped and attacked again. Xander reached out to rip a necklace off it, hoping to distract it and keep it on the square while it took even more damage, as the red square weakened the creature.
"Blaze!" Dawn tried again, the fire doing massive damage this time, allowing Xander to pulp its head and finish it off in one shot.
Xander returned to their side and tried to ignore the fact that both their shirts were heavily burned and flaking off in some very interesting places. "Necklace anyone?" he offered trying to lighten the mood.
"For me? You shouldn't have," Dawn said insincerely, turning around and lifting her hair so he could put it on her.
Xander chuckled and tried not to look anywhere he shouldn't while he put it on her, a task made impossible by the condition of her clothes, a fact that made Dawn grin and Joyce hide her smile at his hopeless attempt at chivalry.
"Whoa!" Dawn exclaimed suddenly, causing Xander to freeze as he quickly realized that it might not be a normal necklace.
"I feel a lot stronger now," Dawn explained.
"Stillness of Nightfall, caress of Winter's hands, Chill!" a voice called out and a wave of frost hit them, ice cutting into exposed flesh and frost coating their limbs.
"Motherfucker!" Dawn hissed, as Joyce cursed in Spanish and Xander moaned, blood pouring from dry cracked flesh. "Blaze!" she yelled, the fire doing a number on the male demon who was carrying an axe and wearing a black robe and pointed hat.
Dawn had clearly come through it the best and Xander the worst, but Joyce was far from out as the demon moved to a non-glowing square beside her.
As the creature caught its breath, Joyce snatched the axe out of its hands and Dawn called out, "Blaze," completely destroying it.
Dawn took off the necklace and placed it on Xander, over his protests as they absorbed a few sparks of light and their wounds healed. "You die, we all die!" she growled.
"OK," he capitulated, suddenly aware they were both nearly naked, as the ice had almost finished what the fire had started.
"We got 5 more closing in," Joyce warned, having kept an eye out while watching the two with a soft smile.
"Yellow squares!" Xander said suddenly, grateful for the distraction. "Get on yellow squares and let them beat themselves to death while trying to hurt us."
"Won't they know better?" Dawn asked.
"They're not quite real, they're like NPCs in a computer game," Xander guessed.
"And steal whatever they have on," Joyce added.
"What?" the two chorused.
"We need clothes, weapons, and things like that necklace," Joyce explained
"Good idea," Xander agreed, noting that Joyce was down to just her panties and bra, while Dawn hadn't been wearing a bra and he himself was just in boxers that were more than a little charred. They really did need everything they could grab. Running forward, Xander hopped on a yellow square surrounded by green ones. Sure the green would heal them, but with their attacks reflected back on them, as well as him attacking them, they should go down.
Dawn found a yellow square bordered by red and blue on either side and readied herself. She'd have to physically attack the ones on blue, but the red ones would die off quickly, even without setting them on fire. Joyce found a yellow square almost completely surrounded by red with another yellow square behind it. The only thing that could have topped it would be if it were closer to the kids. The three watched as two robed demons, another scarecrow, and two rock men approached.
Joyce kept glancing over, wondering how they were coping with this latest insanity and hoping things would be OK. Xander was glad he was in front and more likely to draw fire than the other two and he prayed he was right about the squares and what they meant, because if they did they'd be fine.
Dawn meanwhile was practically bouncing in place. Xander was back, she was getting to show off in a way that didn't make her look slutty and she, not Buffy or Willow, got to have an adventure with him. She had complete faith he'd get them through this and she had a target for her frustrations at all this happening while she was on her period and her mother was here.
Xander wondered if he should make a joke, point out how the creatures seen to pause ever three seconds, or try to make an inspirational speech.
"Bring it!" Dawn yelled impatiently.
"Patience dear, and remember 'Pillage first, then burn!'" Joyce called out, spinning the axe in her hands like she had been born with it.
'Nah, they're good," Xander decided.
Typing by Falkun (who is still super excited hero system became a full fledged story :D)