A/N: sorry I disappeared again! But here's a long chapter to try and make up for it ;)

Taz's POV

I had to talk to him.

"I'm not sure that's wise..." Saki muttered over the phone. She'd called me about some news from our friends on the ship, but we'd spiraled into another topic.

"I need to clear my chest... I need him to know about Gabrielle."

"What's there to know?" Saki's tone turned venomous. "You lost Gabrielle, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but he has to know." I murmured. "He has a right to know!"

"Look." Saki sounded softer. "Nothing can bring her back..."

"Do jou think I don't know dat?!" I yelled down the phone. "Do jou think that isn't permanently etched into my mind?"

"I didn't say it wasn't..."

"Have jou felt the pain of losing something inside jou? No." I hissed.

"I've gotta go..."

"Wait, what did jou want to tell me?"

"I can tell you another time..."

"No... I want to know..." I held my head in my hands. "I'm sorry, alright?"

"It's okay, but..."

"Just tell me."

"Freya's pregnant."

It took a moment for this to sink in. Freya and George's baby meant that Gabby wasn't the only baby from our friendship group anymore - she didn't even make it to being born. This baby would be accepted - Geore and Freya were in the same rank after all. Me and Up weren't.

"Congratulations for her." I choked before hanging up. I placed my receiver on my bunk and began to run away from it - expecting some sort of demon to wisp out of it. I ran past February, talking to that new guy Bug about the ship. I ran past Specs muttering about something to do with her glasses. I was about to run past Krayonder until he caught me in his arms.

"What's up?"

"Nothing." I scowled.

"Then why are you crying, Candy-ass?"

"Jou're the Candy-ass." I tried to smile, but tears streamed out from my eyes as my lips curved upwards. "Let go of me." I ordered.

"No."

I bared my teeth and bit my rookie on the shoulder. His hand flew to the puncture-marks I made on his uniform, before darting away from him. I came to a stop outside of Up's quarters. The door was ajar and I slipped in after knocking. Up wasn't in there. I felt like I was going to collapse, and curled up in a ball behind his bookcase. When he arrived, I'd just slip out after recovering my strength.

Don't fall asleep.

Don't fall asleep.

Don't fall asl-

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" Spec's voice rang in the room and I woke with a start. My watch told me I'd missed both Lunch and Dinner. I heard Up cough. He was sitting at his desk, looking into some papers. I peered out and saw my file sitting on his desk, beside everyone else's in our crew. My file was the one closest to him.

"Oh, Specs. Yeah, I did." He responded. "Its been a heck of a day, hasn't it Specs?"

I heard some footsteps and I glanced towards them, to see Bug approach before turning away again. Neither of them seemed to notice him.

Specs and Up were talking about the Giant Spider incident this morning. I knew Up couldn't remember anything, so I played the V card as well after Candy-ass declared himself as a Virgin and all the others did too.

"At the time I found it scientifically Fascinating."

"BULLSHIT." Up growled, Spec's jumped but I stayed planted to the spot. At least he wasn't crying.

"I think somebodies putting on a dead-god-damn brave face! Specs, why don't you get over here and sit on my lap?"

Huh? Was Up now in a relationship with Specs? They can't be. I've seen the way she looks at Candy-ass.

" 'scuze me, sir?"

"Well the world always looks a little bit brighter... from on top of a lap."

"I really dont-"

"I gave you an order, soldier." Up growled.

"Okay..." Specs shrugged. I listened as Up told some sort of bedtime story to the ginger engineer. She fell asleep, and then I heard another pair of footsteps. Candy-ass Krayonder's gonna rat me out.

"Sir have you seen T-"

"Shhhh!" Up quietened him and beckoned him forward.

"Yes sir?" Krayonder asked, quieter.

"Take this little hero off to bed." Up motioned to the sleeping form of Specs.

"Yes, sir." Krayonder took her from Up's arms.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Watch her head!" Up yelled.

"I got her!" My Rookie hissed back. I don't think Up noticed the protective look in Krayonder's eyes as he cradled the woman he loved closer to him.

"Oh and Private!"

"Yes, Sir?"

"If you don't tuck her in tight I swear I will see you court marshaled."

"Yes, Sir." Krayonder withdrew from the room with Specs.

"Hello, Sir." Bug appeared from the doorway.

"Oh! If it isn't Bug, my oldest a dearest friend!"

"Oh? What about me jou fool?" I hissed under my breath. Truth be told, I was a lousy friend.

"Come on in, what can I do for ya?" Up asked Bug.

"Uh, well... The thing is sir, I need some help. I've got a problem and It may be the biggest problem ever... and I am not smart enough to figure it out."

"Don't say that my dear!" Up interjected. Bug looked creeped out.

"No... its true." Bug shuffled his feet. "Commander Up, What if someone likes you...alot. But they only like you because.. everything they know about you is a lie?"

"mmhmm..." Up snorted. "mmmhmmmmm..." He padded closer to the bookshelf. I could smell his sweet smell... He smelt like After-Shave and the cleaning fluids he uses on his boots. "So this is about me. And how I've been lying to you."

"N-no not exactly..." Bug stuttered. "Wanna talk about that instead?"

"...yeah..." Up nodded. Bug sat in Up's desk chair.

"Here, um... sit on my lap."

"Alright." Up sat carefully on the new-guys leg and nestled into him. I sat and painfully listened to Up recite the past two years. I had hot fresh tears welling in my eyes and I didn't want to blink.

"So now you know, Bug." his drawl rattled on. "I got no balls... But I've got a heart."

"Then learn how to kill with your heart! You know, the most dangerous creature on my planet is the mother spider, protecting her young. Because she loves her babies so much, she will fight until nothing is left! Until every last ounce of pus is drained from her exo-skeleton!" Gross. " Because she loves to much, she becomes the most feared creature on our planet. Because she can kill with her heart."

"Wow... I feel loads better... What were you talking about? Whats your problem? Tell it to me! I can help in anyway that I can!"

"Okay, um, you see the thing is, I like this girl..."

"It's not Taz, is it?"

"Hah, no." Bug chuckled.

"Good... I love Taz."

A/N: Huh?

Did he just say...

I think he did...

:D

I know its "I like Taz" but I changed it to love due to the circumstances. :3

UNTIL NEXT TIME.