AN: Well, it's been a while, but here it is! This is the first of three chapters that will revolve heavily around a case to change things up a bit. Hope you like it!

And we have plenty of stuff to celebrate! Castle won three PCAs! And it's finally back on tonight! Woohoo!

Now on to it...

Home Is Where the Heart Stops

"How do you get over it?"

"You don't… But one day you'll wake up and you'll find that you don't mind carrying it around with you. At least, that's as far as I've come."

-Joanne Delgado and Kate Beckett, "Home Is Where the Heart Stops", Castle S1.

It's been two weeks since she found out she was pregnant.

It's been two weeks since he died.

It's been one week since the funeral.

Today is Monday morning.

Those are the facts, and here's another one: Kate Beckett needs to get out of the loft.

She's up before sunrise without the need of an alarm. Her internal clock does the job just fine. She stretches out in the empty bed and decides that she'll go back to the precinct today. She needs to get back some semblance of normal, and she'll go crazy if she has to wallow through the day around the loft with no purpose in life other than being a human incubator for another day.

Besides, she can't really afford missing more work. Not with the maternity leave she'll need to take in a few months.

Kate gets up and walks to the kitchen with resolution, thankful that, for the first time in days, she's not sick.

Martha's already nursing her coffee at the kitchen island and, as Kate makes her way to the fridge, the brunette painfully finds out that the spoke too soon.

The older woman watches in confusion and worry as the color drains from Kate's face and she bolts to the sink, where she starts retching. Martha quickly leaves her cup on the counter and reaches the younger woman, keeping the hair out of her daughter-in-law's face.

Once Beckett's stomach settles, she squeezes her eyes shut, willing her body to stay upright and feeling absolutely drained. She hates this!

"Darling, are you alright?" Martha's arm is still around Kate's back, and the concern in her voice is more than evident.

"Yeah," she answers sharply, taking one more second to gather herself before washing the bitter taste off her mouth.

Martha goes back to her place when Kate starts fixing herself some breakfast. And she watches her closely when she starts eating it. Now, she's most certain than ever that she is… But what she doesn't get is, if she is indeed… Why hasn't she told them?

The redhead's thoughts are cut short by Kate's voice.

"I- I'm going back to work today," Beckett says, mostly to the ground. She would completely understand if she'd try to stop her, but truth be told, she doesn't feel like arguing over it.

Martha's taken aback by this. Yes, Beckett's not the kind of woman who can stay at home for long doing nothing before going stir crazy, but she hadn't expected her to be ready to go back to work so soon, especially considering the possibility that she's…

But then again, maybe that's the problem. She probably needs to keep her mind busy to avoid thinking about… Whatever it is she has to avoid.

Besides, who's she to stop her? If that's what she needs, she can go ahead… But Martha has to make sure she's not doing it for the wrong reasons.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

It takes a second for her to answer. "Honestly, I'm not sure. But I need to do something besides sitting around here all day or I might go crazy."

"Alright. Have a great day, dear," Martha nods, making Beckett sigh with relief.

She shoots the redhead a thankful look before making her way to the bed room to get ready. She still takes longer than usual to finish her morning ritual, but she makes it through.

Just a little over half an hour later, Beckett's strolling through the double doors at the lobby of the 12th precinct like she owns the place, her stance all business.

Truth be told, it's taking her all the strength in her body not to turn around and run away.

A few heads turn when they see the detective and automatically get a look of sympathy on their faces. But before anyone can approach her and offer their condolences, she's already on the elevator up to the murder floor.

Beckett's finally back to what she used to call home. That was until she found another, warmer, kinder one with Castle. Now, she needs this place again.

But coming back is harder than she ever thought it would be.

She sits at the all too familiar desk at the side of the murder board and that's where she encounters her first problem.

The air catches in her throat when she sees the chair at the side of her desk. His chair. The chair than now will forever be too empty.

She takes a few deep breaths and pushes back the tears that are starting to well in her eyes.

When her heart rate has finally stabilized it races again when a cup of coffee is placed on the desk. She looks up and is more disappointed than she probably should to see Esposito standing over her.

That should've been Castle.

Damn hormones.

Damn Esposito.

Damn everything that reminds her of what she's lost.

Before anything else has the chance to make her heart speed up again, the Captain is calling her.

"Detective Beckett?" Gates says from the threshold of her office. "A word?"

Beckett gets up, ignoring Espo and his coffee and makes her way towards her boss confidently trying to shed the heaviness she's feeling in her soul from her features.

Gates stands by the door, letting the detective in and then closing the door behind her.

Not letting the Captain say a word about her being there, Beckett starts talking.

"Sir, please don't tell me to go home. I'm ready to get back to work."

"I wasn't planning on it. I'm not telling you to go home unless you give me reason to," she eyes the younger woman carefully and reassuringly. Instead of lecturing her about rushing back to work and how bad of an idea that seems to be, she decides to go with supportive. "And if you need anything, at all, don't hesitate to ask."

Beckett nods, glad for her boss' approach. "Thank you, sir."

That's when Ryan knocks on the door and when Gates opens it, he seems to be in a hurry.

"Body drop," he lofts a post-it with an address scribbled on it.

Gates looks at Beckett and the detective nods confidently, already taking the lead. "Let's go."

After Kate gets out and before Ryan has a chance to leave, Gates stops him.

"Keep an eye on her, alright?"

The detective nods quickly. They were all planning on doing so anyway.

As she drives to the crime scene, she automatically turns her head to the passenger's seat, half-expecting to see Castle sitting there about to say something either incredibly childish or surprisingly sound that'll either lighten her mood or break the case.

There was a time when she couldn't wait to get the novelist out of her life. How very stupid she was.

But that was a really long time ago, and it didn't really last for long.

Now she needs to go back to that. Being alone. She needs to get used to not having anyone annoying her into a smile, offering wild theories to lighten her mood or keeping her together when a case is dragging her down.

She got so used to Castle that she doesn't even remember how she used to get the job done. Not that she's not able to do her job, the problem is that she needs someone to remind her how not let the job get in the way of her life.

Before she knows it, she's already pulling up at the address she was given. It's in the nice part of town, which tells her that it's probably about some dirty politician or business man that got too deep into something he shouldn't have.

Before she gets out of her unmarked, she takes a second to gather her thoughts and to perform her own personal ritual: remind herself that no matter whom the victim is or what they did, she'll do everything she possibly can to bring justice to the victim and closure to the family.

As soon as she gets out of the car, the November chill hits her skin but she ignores it, her mind all business.

The boys make their way to the uniforms and witnesses to get the information they need as she goes over the scene. CSU techs start taking pictures and samples around her as she takes note of every single detail that could be vital to cracking this case.

They're at a high-end apartment. Good taste –probably a designer's– and elegant details line the walls of the probably not cheap loft. The layout actually reminds Beckett of her own apartment's, there's even a staircase that leads to a second level. The difference with their loft is only that this one is way lighter, in white and beige tones rather than the darker wood earthy tones of hers.

She inspects the entryway and the kitchen first, avoiding the living room for now given that's where the bodies are –as she was told there are two. The sink in the kitchen seems to be in the process of being repaired, and the pipes don't appear to be ready for being used. Once she makes her way to the living room, she has to stop for a second. There are toys on the floor.

A child lives here.

"Beckett?" Ryan calls from over where the victim is, her sight of the scene blocked by the ME and CSU teams.

"Yeah?" she says, and when she moves closer, a wave of nausea hits her.

There are two bodies. A woman's and a child's.

"Kate?" Lanie calls softly, leaning over the woman's body. She sees how her friend stops in her tracks and blanches at the sight of the scene. Children cases are always tough, and for her to get one now… Why the hell is she even back to work already anyway?

Beckett is aware of her friend's voice, but she still needs a second to gather herself. Now there's even more reason for her to be the best that she can be.

"What do we got?" her head snaps up at her partners, ready to hit this case head on.

Lanie sighs before Esposito, who has come to stand beside Lanie, delivers the bullet. "35 year-old Amanda Nolan," he points to the brunette with soft features wearing a bloody blue shirt in front of him. "And 7 year-old Lucy Nolan," he gestures to the girl lying by the woman's side with similar wounds. "Were found this morning by the husband and father, Michael Nolan when he was coming home from work," he points his head in the direction of the man in a power suit looking clearly distraught talking to a couple of uniforms.

"He's the big-shot CEO of CyberSense. Yesterday," Javier continues, looking down at his pad. "He was in a meeting from 5 PM 'till past midnight, so he decided to crash at the office. He took care of some stuff this morning and came back home at about 8:30."

Beckett nods, taking it all in before looking at Lanie.

"Single GSWs to each of their chests which were delivered close range. No signs of struggle on either of the bodies. And rigor suggests that they were killed between 12 to 14 hours ago, but I'll know more once I get them to the lab," the ME looks up to Beckett.

"Any signs of forced entry?" the brunette asks.

"None so far," Ryan says, standing at her side.

"So they probably knew the killer," Kate sighs. They finish with the details and head back to the precinct with Mr. Nolan in tow.

When Kate gets back to the precinct, she starts setting up the murder board as she waits for some uniforms to settle Michael Nolan in the break room and finish taking his initial statement.

"Do you want us to take it?" Ryan asks. He and Esposito have now come to stand by her side, observing her work on the board. They're also trying but failing miserably to wipe the worried expressions of their faces.

And they don't even know the half of it...

"No," she takes her contemplative look off the board to face her partners with determination. She needs to be there every step of the way. Maybe if she solves this case she'll be able to find some kind of purpose to life again. That same purpose that drove her for so long.

They nod and Javier motions to the break room, where Nolan's already waiting.

Kate drops the marker on her desk and grabs her folder before walking to the room. When she reaches the door, her hand lingers on the knob and an unexpected uncertainty settles in her gut as she carefully observes the devastated man through the window.

His cup of coffee rests untouched on the table in front of him and his head is cradled in his hands.

That was her… That is her.

And this is the first time in years she'll have to do this alone without at least the comfort of knowing Castle's somewhere ready to offer the support she needs. She's not sure she even remembers how to do it like this.

Esposito and Ryan carefully observe her through the window at the other side of the room and before one of them can offer to go in there with her, she finally goes in.

She walks to her seat with all the authority she can muster and the man in front of her acknowledges the detective's entrance by lifting his head, facing her with deeply hurt eyes.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Mr. Nolan," she begins quietly and he nods slowly. "I know this is difficult, but I'm going to need to ask you a few questions," she looks at him reassuringly before lowering her gaze to the folder in her hands.

Nolan nods again as he runs a hand over his face, willing himself to focus on the officer before him.

"Where were you last night?" she begins pen in hand, ready to take notes.

"I-" he clears his throat, fighting the tears that are starting to mix with his anger and powerlessness. "I was at a meeting from, uh, about 5 until almost midnight. After that I still had to take care of something at the office and I had another meeting in the morning so I decided to stay there for the night."

"Is it usual for you to stay at the office overnight?"

"Not really. We're, uh, handling a situation right now."

"What kind of situation?"

"Um, you know, I'm not really at liberty to say," he looks up from the ground, facing her with what she wants to believe is sincerity.

"Could you think of anyone who might want to hurt your wife?"

He thinks about it for a second before dropping his gaze again. "Everybody loved Amanda. She was the kindest, sweetest woman you'd ever met," he says, his voice cracking at the end, and he gazes at the woman in front of him with eyes reddened by unshed tears.

Kate is hit by that look but she remains unyielding. This man is falling apart in front of her; she needs to remain a rock in order to do her job. This is no time to get personal.

"How about you? Can you think of anyone who might want to get to your family in order to hurt you?" she goes back to staring at her notes, finding it easier to handle her emotions like that than looking into the eyes of the broken man before her.

"Detective," he starts, turning forlorn. "I'm the CEO of one of the biggest producers of technology in the country, and I didn't exactly get there making friends," the sudden hatred in his voice makes her look back up. He needs justice and that's exactly what she'll bring him.

"But to do this?" the intensity leaves his voice as quickly as it came, and all that's left is a quiet, pathetic whisper. "Who would be sick enough to do something like this? Tomorrow was Lucy's birthday…" he adds at the end, thinking about how the people he loved the most in the world are now gone.

"I don't know, Mr. Nolan," Kate looks up at him, wearing her comforting, avenging cop face. "But I do know one thing. I'll do everything in my power to bring their killer to justice."

AN: Would love to hear your thoughts!