Thank you, thank you for the many reviews and follows! I am truly humbled by the response. I've never had such a well received story, and your support is amazing. I'm glad you're still enjoying this one as much as I'm loving writing it.
One warning, this update has drug use at the end.
It was a definite "you can't have it both ways" predicament. A huge part of why Kelly loved Erin was because she had a considerable portion of badass mixed in with all her other parts, gorgeous parts. The first time he saw her brandish a gun, he wanted to take her right then and there. The downside was that her job was dangerous, oftentimes more precarious than his. There would be shifts where the biggest excitement at 51 was takin' Mouch for a couple hundred and eating Mills' ever so tender brisket.
Erin rarely saw no action. Being in Intelligence was no cake walk. Once in a while she had a stakeout that led to nowhere except a whole lotta coffee, but most times they were hittin' the streets. Kelly knew he'd met his match, but he didn't always like it.
"You're cancelin' on me again?" he asked not believing his ears.
"Not canceling, just postponing," Erin replied standing behind Kelly, sliding her arms under his and up his chest. She put her head on his shoulder and brought her face to his, a small smile meeting his blue eyes. Currently pissed off eyes.
"Erin, you need a day off." Kelly pried her off him and turned around to face her. "Every night this week you've been home after midnight, you haven't touched the plates I left you. Are you eatin' at all? You can't keep goin' like this."
"No choice, babe. We're so close, so close I can taste it. A few more days then Voight's gonna give us four or five days off. You're gonna get sick of me."
"Yeah, I'll probably be on shift then," Kelly sighed, grumpily heading to the shower.
"I know you can work it out for me." Erin waited for an answer. "Right?" she yelled in the direction of the bathroom.
A growl came from her guy as he turned on the hottest water he could stand. Should make damn sure I'm ON shift, he thought knowing he would never follow through.
Erin slowly turned the silver knob using her cop skills to the fullest, smiling at how easy it was to stalk her prey. She had to get back to PD, but she deserved an extra hour. Voight was keepin' his trap shut if he was smart.
The detective silently slipped out of her tight black T-shirt, her jeans and panties next. Kelly was right. She hadn't been home enough. She missed him, needed him. Needed this.
She was about to stealthily appear in the shower to shock the hell out of her man. Her catlike moves mirroring a ninja, or so she thought.
"You know I hear ya movin' around out there?" called Kelly lathering up his hair for the second time, his habit after a down and dirty shift.
"Asshole. I shouldn't even come in there," said Erin stifling a laugh.
"But you will," he responded, cockiness intact.
"Yes, I will," conceded Erin stepping in, touching Kelly's slippery arm for support. She immediately went for her loofah hanging from a shower caddy. She loved his reaction when she scrubbed his back, really scrubbed it.
"Oh, yeah," he moaned, enjoying the attention, how she always knew where to place that next piece of the Severide puzzle. He shook his head shaking out some water, surprised she hadn't left for PD. One thing this girl could do, surprise him. He figured she'd still be shocking him ten years from now, twenty… always keepin' him on his toes, that one. He laughed to himself thinking he should say those words out loud and stun the hell out of her. No, best to keep that one to himself, he thought. Don't want her running for the nearest exit.
"What are you giggling about, and why do I feel like it's at my expense?"
"I don't giggle," he stated flatly, smile vanishing as he stared at her trying to look somber.
"But I am really glad you decided to go in late. So glad." Teasing grin back, crooked at the side...that guilty little smirk she couldn't get enough of. That among other things.
"How glad? Why don't you show me?" asked Erin putting the loofah back and turning Kelly around to face her.
She put her hands on his slightly soapy face, rinsing the suds near his eyes carefully, kissing each spot she touched. Her fingers feeling like velvet, her mouth even more sumptuous… each gentle touch sending a jolt to her fireman. God, she loved how he reacted. She could see it and feel it.
Kelly moaned louder, teased to a point of no return. Erin's kisses growing more intense, pressing harder into his mouth, down the length of his chest, his stomach. The return journey back up to his lips sent a shudder through his body.
"I thought I was supposed to be showin' you how glad I am?" he managed to whisper between soft kisses.
"You are. Now, shut up. I'm making up for disappointing you."
"I like it when you disappointment me," said Kelly closing his eyes as Erin's hands went down to where her mouth had only teased.
"Shut up," she repeated pressing her mouth back to his, smiling at how he was responding to her touch. How he always reacted, like she was the only one he wanted in the world.
The hour eclipsed into two by the time the couple made their way out of their apartment, Erin heading back to the station, Kelly to Molly's since their date had been "postponed." The disappointment diminished now in the afterglow of shower sex.
"Have fun," said Erin casually reaching up to peck Kelly on the cheek.
"I'm going for a few drinks, don't got much left in me."
"Oh, you've got plenty. I'll try to get back before 1:00."
"Hey," he called grabbing her hand, pulling her back into his body. "Be careful out there."
"Always. You too."
"You do remember I'm goin' to Molly's?"
"Yeah, but I heard there are some cats on the prowl."
Kelly looked at her quizzically. What the hell?
"Cougars," she deadpanned, keys in hand waiting for him to open her door.
"Funny. Very funny," he laughed.
"I think you just giggled again," she said, not wanting to drive off, delaying her exit for a few more seconds..
"Love you," Kelly leaned down, kissing her full on the lips.
"Love you, too," she said turning the ignition and pulling herself away. Last thing she wanted right now. Last damn thing.
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Molly's was packed, took a few seconds to spot Shay sitting with Dawson at a side table...just the two of them thick as thieves. He looked around and saw Casey, Mouch, Clarke, and Manny a couple of tables over. He headed to the guys. He didn't want any part of the girl drama unfolding...their secretive looks. Who knew what the hell they were plotting?
"Hey, Severide! Erin finally got smart and dumped your ass? Haven't seen you two in the same space in a while." Manny was up embracing his friend, smiling from ear to ear.
"Nah, she's still lettin' me hang around. She's gotta work again," said Kelly patting Casey on the back, motioning for him to stay sitting.
Clarke was up shaking Kelly's hand firmly before bringing it in for a hug. Since he'd gone to 29, the firehouse hadn't been the same. It was good to see his former squad member at least for drinks and a bullshit session.
"Yes, I was reading that 'work' is the number one excuse when one spouse is cheating on the other," imparted Mouch who didn't even bother getting up.
"And thank you for the sage words. When did you get the marriage counseling license?" asked Casey laughing at the older firefighter.
"Hell, since when do you even know the first thing about marriage?" Kelly joked, knowing the older man's single status was a constant sore spot.
"What do you two know about marriage? Something I need to be aware of?" shot back Mouch, putting an end to the banter and effectively shutting up 51's lieutenants.
"Another round," called out Clarke, "on me." Smiles back on his friend's faces and talk of women put on the backburner, right where it belonged.
The guys closed the place down with Mouch giving rides home. Kelly opted for a cab thinking he'd had enough of the older firefighter to last a year and thanking God that he wasn't on squad. He felt certain the redhead wouldn't have made it this far. Casey had the patience of a saint, he decided. He also decided that Gabby and Matt weren't gonna make it. They hadn't said two words to each other all night and when Severide eased the conversation to the subject of the paramedic, Matt clamped down in a way he hadn't seen since Halle left on her "find herself" trip. There was no talkin' to him then, no talkin' to him now. He'd get the story from Shay tomorrow.
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Erin was waiting on the couch when he sloppily entered the apartment, missing the key twice before managing to find the golden ticket.
"Hey," she muttered wiping the sleep from her eyes, looking drawn and nervous.
Even in his slightly drunken state, Kelly knew something was up.
"Hey, yourself," he answered depositing himself on the couch next to her heavily. He leaned over to kiss her.
"Ew, your breath," she groaned getting a whiff of everything he'd had that night. "Jesus, Kelly, I need to talk to you about something, but I feel like you're so drunk you won't even remember in the morning." She pushed away exasperated with him on the one hand but also knowing she was the one who sent him off to Molly's. What did I expect? Them to play Scrabble all night?
"Then let's go up to bed and talk in the morning," Kelly suggested raising his eyebrows in anticipation of more than sleep.
"No, I'll be gone before you get up tomorrow."
"What do you mean gone?" Kelly questioned sobering up slightly.
"We hit a snag and now we've got to up the ante in our investigation. I've gotta go undercover."
Kelly's numb brain wasn't registering the full weight of what Erin was trying to say. She'd gone undercover so many times he lost count. It was not somethin' he looked forward to, but he knew Voight had her back. He was always listening in. Hell, Severide had wondered if the cop didn't have their place wired to keep tabs on his girl.
He looked at her as if to say "so what?"
"It's in Miami. And Jay is posing as my boyfriend."
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When Kelly's pounding head wouldn't allow one more minute of sleep, the full impact of Erin's words hit him. Along with the splitting headache he swore was cracking his skull in two.
He reached for his phone. Two texts from Shay wondering where the hell he was.
One from Erin. "Love you. Call you when it's done. Sorry."
Sorry. For what? For doing her job? For leaving for Miami?
No. He knew it was for posing as Jay's girlfriend, whore, bitch, whatever role she was playing this time. He rubbed his hands all over his face and around to his neck. Hot shower. Everything would look better after that. He eased himself up and headed to the bathroom, each step landing straight in his brain, thundering like a small earthquake when his foot hit the floor.
He turned the water over to extra hot and dropped his boxers. Before getting in, he slowly walked to his sink reaching for his mouthwash. He had to get some of the morning after smell off of him. He gargled and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Damn Jay Halstead. He was always gonna be a "thing." As long as Erin was in Intelligence, there would always be a Jay. Kelly didn't know if he could live with that for as long as "always."
He shook some of the cobwebs out and stepped into the steaming water just letting it hit him on the back, rain down on his neck. He turned around to grab his shampoo and looked at Erin's loofah longingly. He wished his girl was here. With him. Far away from Miami. Far, far from Jay.
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"Okay, let's go over it again. Erin you are Brittany, Jay's working girl, but also his girl, if you know what I mean. You got the itch bad. You gotta make it obvious, leave no doubt," Voight growled out unhappy with the change in scenery. Most people would enjoy the sunny South Beach location they were currently inhabiting. Voight was not most people. He'd been more than grumpy when the meet abruptly switched from Miami to their current location.
"Got it," answered Erin, watching as a Miami DEA agent applied makeup to her arm giving her the look of someone with a definite "itch."
"Halstead, you're the scumbag that got her hooked. You also have an itch, but it ain't for drugs. You want to expand your territory. You're looking for a Miami connection."
"Okay. Scumbag, bad boyfriend, money hungry. Man, I'm a catch," he replied looking in fascination at the makeup job his partner was getting.
"This ain't no jokin' matter. These guys are bad dudes. They'll kill the both of you and not think twice. Then they'll kill your families, your kids, your pets, and your grandmas. You got that?" Voight's demeanor left no doubt he was worried.
"You're freaking us out, Hank. Everything's going to be fine. Let's just do it," countered Erin getting up, wrapping a hand in Jay's.
"Let's do it," Jay agreed holding her hand so tight it almost hurt.
The pair walked, or Halstead walked with Erin stumbling every couple of steps, leaning heavily on her "boyfriend."
Rafael was waiting for them in the seedy motel room that came straight out of an episode of Breaking Bad.
"So you come all the way from the windy city. You must want this bad, gringo," acknowledged the drug dealer, smiling broadly, a white row of teeth greeting the cops with a single gold one standing out like some sort of trophy.
Jay's smile matched the older man's. He pulled out a chair for himself, barely giving Erin a second glance. She stumbled to the bed, sitting at first, then laying down across the filthy bedspread.
The deal went down without a hitch. Rafael satisfied with all of Halstead's answers, liking the cockiness of the big city upstart, impressed with his ambitiousness, envious of his girl laying on the bed.
"Hey, guapa. Come over here." Rafael motioned to a chair he positioned right next to his.
Jay's heart raced as watched Erin stumble over to the chair, strung out look on her face.
"We gotta go," he tried grabbing her hand and standing up to get the hell out of there.
"Don't be rude. We just became partners. Partners share things, share everything."
The gold tooth was the only thing Erin could focus on through her half closed eyes.
Rafael plopped a small bag on the shabby table in front of the three. The two other men in the room, the muscle, looked at it with desire.
Voight had lost radio contact with his team about three minutes prior, the wire coming in and out.
"Shit!" he yelled, slamming his fist into the side of the van they were stuck in.
"Everything's fine. The deal was rolling. We've only been black for three minutes. They're sayin' their goodbyes, shoring up the meeting time and place. They'll be out here in ten," assured Olinsky. "We got him. By this time tomorrow, we'll have him in lock up. Just sit tight."
"Okay, pretty girl. This is for you. A little present from me," purred Rafael picking the small bag back up and running it through his fingers in a practiced move he'd done many times before.
"Thanks, but we gotta hit it. Gotta get my ducks in a row." Jay pulled on Erin's hand hard, a sense of urgency in the tug.
"Your ducks will wait. Now sit!" The two goons touched the guns at their sides.
Jay resignedly dropped back to his chair wondering what the hell was taking Voight so long to get in there.
Rafael opened the bag like he was unwrapping a present, slow, deliberate, and with anticipation. He lit the candle on the table, licking his lips. Erin watched as if in some surreal dream as he held the spoon over the flame until a liquid appeared where the small rock had been. Her eyes grew wide as he dropped a small piece of cotton into the liquid, the white expanding with the heroin. The final step was drawing the liquid gold into the syringe he held in his left hand.
"Here." Rafael handed the needle to Erin.
She grabbed at it lustily knowing the moves of an addict by heart. She couldn't bring herself to do the next thing...shoot it into her arm, into the dark marks that said she'd done this many times before.
"Go ahead," motioned Rafael, smile so bright his teeth appeared to get a shade whiter.
Erin didn't move. She shakily held the needle in her hand, dropping it on the table.
Rafael's protection stepped forward, guns drawn now.
"Hey, hey! What's with this bullshit!" yelled Jay jumping to his feet, trying to position himself between the gunmen and Erin. Not necessary.
Both guys pointed their weapons at Jay, directly at his head.
"He's dead if you don't scratch that itch, Brittany," warned Rafael smile waning now.
Erin picked up the needle, hands telling her no, almost refusing. She knew exactly what to do. She'd done it before...many, many years ago. She promised herself it would never happen again, vowed she'd rather be dead than go down this path. But it wasn't her that would end up dead. It was Jay.
She grabbed the rubber tubing next to the candle and wound it tightly around, smacking the inside of her arm hard, the sound causing Jay to jump.
"No!" he yelled reaching for her wrists.
The two goons moved their guns to within an inch of the detective's head, forcing him back down. His face was strained as doubt settled in. What the hell to do? He wouldn't make it a foot in front of him with two guns pointed at his head. Where was Voight?
Erin pushed the needle into her vein, waiting for the immediate rush. She didn't have to wait long. Her head flew back and a deep moan escaped her lips. The sound that always came with the release. The ecstasy that could turn a good person into the devil, into someone who would eat her own. She hated that sound still coming from her lips. She would've given anything to never hear it again.
But not the life of her partner.
I've always wondered what would've happened if Nadia hadn't taken the drugs for Burgess on Chicago PD when they were undercover. This is my take with Erin having to face the aftermath.
I know that was a hard ending to read. I'm giving Erin so much to deal with, but Linseride is doing better than ever, so it will give more of an opportunity for Kelly to be there for her. What do you think?