Thirteenth Entry
I'm currently with Snow.
A lot of stuff happened so I've been pretty busy to write. But Lightning and I made it through the underground tunnels and into the city. I told her about Operation Nora and she told me to abandon it. She said that killing Snow won't change anything. Of course it won't! I know that. But if I don't have that mission in mind, then what am I living for? Killing Snow is not going to bring my mother back and it isn't going to change what happened, but it will give me some peace of mind instead of this hate that's currently bubbling inside me, ready to surface.
We eventually got caught and Snow and some strange woman came and saved us. Lightning threw me at him and told him to keep me safe and take me home. Of all the people to leave me with, she leaves me with the person I most hate. He took a good look at me and realized that I had changed. Of course I did. I had to change if I was going to be his killer. He said that I shouldn't be fighting, that fighting should be left up to the 'grown-ups'. Excuse me? I have no choice. I have to fight. I'm a l'Cie which is English for screwed. I asked him if it was stupid to fight. I mean, this is a man in charge of a group that all they do is fight so is it stupid to them? You know what he said to me?
'It is if you get yourself killed.'
I wished I'd latched onto his back and slit his throat right then and there. So my mom's stupid because she chose to fight and ended up getting killed? My mom was not stupid! She was brave, smart, and she was tough! She was everything Snow claims to be and isn't. She wasn't the coward he is and she wasn't a fool.
After he said that he smiled.
He smiled.
I'm going to make him smile even harder when I rip him some new lips with my blade.
Everything about him pisses me off.
He better watch his back.
Fourteenth Entry
Snow's on the phone.
When I got on, I told Lightning that I was going to go on with Operation Nora.
I don't know if she heard me since the phone was breaking up but I don't care. If I'm going to kill Snow, now would have to be the time. We're traveling alone, so no witnesses. I don't have to try hard to hide the body since no one's around to discover it. And my magic spells have gotten stronger.
Now is the time.
Fifteenth Entry
I couldn't do it.