Walking into Spider Webs 2
Part 1: YSEMF CH 62
"I really don't feel comfortable doing this," Xander admitted as they stood outside his front door.
"It's ok, we won't think any less of you just because your parents are drunks," Buffy promised, laying a hand on his own.
"My parents are drunks?" Xander asked confused.
"The whole town knows they have a drinking problem," Cordelia said. "I mean, you sleep outside on holidays to avoid their drunken brawls, Willow told me about it."
"Huh," Xander said. "I never thought of how it looked from the outside. The problem isn't their drinking, it's when they stop drinking."
"What?" Cordelia said. "That makes no sense."
"Yeah, gotta go with Cordelia on that one," Buffy agreed.
"Ok, listen," Xander said seriously. "My parents drink all the time and it has zero effect on them. When they stop drinking... it affects the people around them, and they don't drink on special occasions."
"Affects the people around them?" Buffy said doubtfully.
"My dad becomes super scary, while not doing anything different at all. He just seems to radiate fear," Xander explained.
"I thought he was a drunk who beats you," Cordelia said.
"Beats me?" Xander said. "No, I can't even recall getting spanked."
"You went to the hospital several times growing up because of 'accidents'," Cordelia said pointedly.
"Most of those were accidents," Xander replied, "Though once or twice was my parents horsing around. I've always felt like a disappointment to them because I'm so weak and fragile, and trying to mimic them ended up with me in the hospital."
"You think you're weak and fragile?" Cordelia repeated in disbelief.
"He kinda is, or at least was," Buffy admitted eying his new muscles and licking her lips.
"Compared to a vampire or a slayer," Cordelia said rolling her eyes. "Compared to a normal person he's tough as hell, and that was before the upgrade."
"Point," Buffy admitted as Cordelia took the opportunity to run her hands over him. "So what about your mom?"
"She..." Xander blushed and had to clear his throat before continuing, "She becomes really attractive."
"You have a thing for your mom?" Cordelia asked making a face.
"When they are drinking everything is fine, when they aren't she becomes really attractive and my dad terrifying. I invited Jesse over a couple of times and he agreed, it's only when they aren't drinking," Xander explained.
"And the sounds of fighting and broken furniture?" Cordelia asked.
"They aren't fighting," Xander said looking uncomfortable.
"You don't mean..." Buffy's voice trailed off and Xander nodded.
"Let me make sure I have this right," Cordelia said. "Your parents make slayers seem normal-"
"Hey!" Buffy complained.
"-and when they aren't drinking, your parents make like bunnies, destroying furniture," Cordelia finished.
"Yes," Xander agreed.
"You are so lucky you have a nice ass," Cordelia said reaching for the door.
"What?" Xander asked as the two girls dragged him inside.
"Xander," Jessica said when she saw her son, a smile blossoming on her face, which quickly faded as she sniffed the air.
Tony copied her actions and smiled broadly. "I'll get the whiskey," he said, heading for the kitchen.
"Mom?" Xander asked, as Cordelia ducked behind him and Buffy tensed up preparing for a fight.
"We better move this into the backyard until we've all had a chance to have a few drinks," Jessica said waving for them to follow.
"You know what's going on," Buffy said, glaring at Jessica as they walked to the back door.
"Of course I do," Jessica said, "Why wouldn't I?"
"About this or the leaches?" Cordelia asked.
"Both," Jessica replied.
"You know about the vampires," Xander accused, "and you never said anything?" he demanded upset.
"We can't," Tony said carrying a bottle of Jack and half a dozen shot glasses, "or rather, couldn't." He set everything on the picnic table.
"And that's literally by the way," Jessica added. "Unless you know about them we can't say a thing. The most we could do was encourage you to be self reliant and check to see if you'd inherited our powers."
"Powers?" Buffy asked feeling a lot less paranoid out in the open air.
"Take a shot of whiskey, son," Tony ordered filling the glasses, "It'll cut down on your pheromone production."
"Like with the praying mantis lady," Buffy said as she recalled what Giles had said about her hunting methods.
"Can you start at the beginning?" Xander asked confusedly picking up a shot glass while his parents downed theirs.
"It's a family matter," Jessica told him.
Cordelia's my girlfriend and Buffy's the slayer," Xander said before tossing back his shot and making a face.
"I suppose Cordelia can hear," Tony allowed. "What's a Slayer?"
"Mystically empowered vampire hunter," Jessica told him, having been more involved with the occult than he was, she was much more knowledgeable about these things.
"Alright then," he said, dismissing it as unimportant. "Me and your mother were involved in an incident that sent us back in time."
"Now I know what you're thinking, why then did we move here and not invest in Microsoft or something similar," Jessica said with a smirk as Tony poured them another round, though Buffy hadn't touched hers and Cordelia was just sipping hers.
"Or Yahoo or Enron," Cordelia added.
"We worked as deep cover spies for the US Government and were subjected to some pretty heavy programming," Tony said. "Telepaths have buried certain commands in our heads that we have to obey. At the time we were programed the study of time travel was in its infancy so the protocols we were forced to obey were designed to minimize our effect on the timeline."
"But you can talk now?" Cordelia asked.
"The closer we get to the date we were sent back in time the less control they have over us, and we've been fighting them for years," Tony said.
"Security protocols kept us from saying anything directly, but now that my son has hit puberty and shown knowledge of the supernatural we can share a lot more with him," Jessica said.
"What agency did you work for?" Cordelia asked
"What are your powers?" Buffy added before they could answer.
"Classified and Xander can tell you what he chooses to share at a later date," Tony said. "The only one I'm going to address right now is our pheromone production."
Xander downed another shot. "Why aren't I drunk or even buzzed?"
"We are practically immune to poison," Jessica said. "Alcohol and most narcotics count as poison. Unfortunately so do most painkillers."
"We emit pheromones, especially when sweaty or in enclosed spaces," Tony explained. "It arouses the opposite sex and usually causes a fear response in the same sex. Alcohol helps cut the body's production of it. Your Mom had a herbal shampoo that would completely stop it for at least a week, but that company doesn't even exist at this point in time."
"Actually I think they do," Jessica said. "I haven't checked in a couple of years, but I believe they should be in business now."
"How did you get your powers?" Buffy asked. "Was it an accident, genetics, or a government super soldier program like Captain America?"
"Family secrets," Jessica said. "I can understand the curiosity, but unless you are involved with my son you really don't need to know."
"I'm one of his best friends!" Buffy protested.
"That doesn't make you family," Jessica said.
"You said 'need to know', not 'are allowed to know'," Xander said thoughtfully.
"It's nothing bad," Jessica assured her, "But anyone physically involved with you should know some things."
"So if I was having sex with Xander you'd tell me?" Buffy asked hopefully.
"Sure, after all dead women tell no tales," Cordelia snarled at Buffy.
"Another shot?" Tony offered Xander.
"Please!" Xander said, as Jessica easily stopped the two girls from fighting.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Kendra checked her bag to insure she still carried the blessed blade. She looked forward to seeing the Scoobs again. It was nice to work with others, being the slayer was a lonely profession... usually.
"Ready, hon?" Johnny asked as she climbed on the back of his motorcycle.
"Always," She swore, wrapping her arms around him.
Typing by: Abyssal Angel