A/N: Thank you very much for all the response to the last chapter, sorry it has taken this long. The next chapter will be the last and I will try and get that to you ASAP. Thanks as always to testship for motivating me to finish this yesterday. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know your thoughts.
Every Other Wednesday Afternoon
Kirkbymoorside was beautiful in the winter, especially in the week approaching Christmas with the soft layer of snow that had fallen. It was still in the stage where it was soft and crunched with each disturbance, and as Anna and John took their short walk around as usual, Anna had exclaimed more than once how much it really felt like Christmas now. She carried a basket looped over her left arm and had hooked the other through his left arm as they walked, wanting to be as close as possible to him. She had reasoned that it was the cold, but John had just grinned and obliged.
"We haven't had any at Downton yet." Anna exclaimed sadly. She continued to admire the scenery – images that she had grown used to seeing, but which looked completely different with the fresh layers of snow. She tightened her grip on their joined arms.
"And here was me thinking you came here to see me."
Anna slapped his arm in good nature. She turned her head upwards to look at him, the brightness of the sun being shielded by the rim of her hat.
"How are the preparations fairing at Downton?" John asked, keen to listen to her tales. Keen to listen to her in any way, really.
"The usual," Anna sighed dreamily. "The big Christmas tree in the hall, Mrs Patmore fussing about the dinner already." Anna giggled to herself, and John found himself smiling at her amusement. She looked so carefree whenever she came to visit him nowadays, almost as though she left all of her worries at home. They had stopped talking about Vera and the divorce as much as possible, because it would only harness their happiness and optimism until one of them turned the conversation in a different direction. Not that either of them were no longer hopeful. They were, but it was decided that those were conversations for another time, a time that had long passed with any hope. These afternoons were theirs and theirs alone.
He almost forgot his initial question as he watched her, and it was only after her pause when she continued that he realised.
"But there is a horrid feeling to it all as well," she admitted. "It feels unfair that we are here celebrating while the men are just over the channel fighting, dying…"
Anna trailed off and John instinctively tightened his hold around her shoulder. He knew it must be painful. It was everywhere, but especially at Downton now. The convalescent home and the soldiers brought everything home for the family and staff there.
"No one is away from it. And Downton is doing its part for the effort. And you are." John knew it would be of little use in the end, but maybe she needed to hear it. "No one is going to begrudge anyone for celebrating at Christmas, even if the mood will be more sombre than in previous years."
Anna nodded, albeit gloomily. She turned to him, raising a hand to his chest, near the skin above his heart. "I do wish you were there. It wouldn't be half as gloomy with you."
John took her hand and kissed it tenderly. "I wish that too."
Anna smiled a little more, but shivered considering their stationary position now.
John watched her with concern, and opened his mouth and suggested, "Should we go to the café? We can take tea and stay warm for the afternoon."
Anna looked a little pensive at first, and John wondered what she was thinking. Before he could think up any situations though, she blurted out, "Could we go to your flat instead?"
His reaction was instinctive, as it was whenever she mentioned they return to his flat. John had a pained expression written across his face, and Anna knew she had a fight on her hands.
"Please?" She continued before he would have a chance to reason with her. "I don't propose we do anything of course, but I would rather give you your gift there. I can't really give you it in a café." She could see his face turn pale. She reassured him it was nothing like that. Anna could see his resolve weakening, so she continued, hoping to convince him. "And you know how busy my schedule is at Christmas, especially with the convalescents here, I won't have time to visit you for a few weeks at least."
She pouted, and John gave in. As he thought about it, he had left her gift at his flat anyway. He chastised himself.
"Fine," John sighed. "Come on."
Anna presented him with a giddy smile and a thank you kiss before they both began to walk back in the direction of his flat.
John turned the key and opened the door to his flat, moving aside to let Anna inside first as he began to shake off his coat and the fresh snow that had begun to fall on their walk back. In the back of his mind, he was glad he had cleaned the flat the other day and ensured it was presentable, even if he had not been expecting visitors. Not that he was ever really that untidy. There were a few articles of clothing left strewn across the living area but they were nothing he could not sweep into his arms and throw into his bedroom within a few seconds.
"I can make us some tea," Anna proposed as she removed her own coat and hat, draping them across the back of the wooden, kitchen chair John had but never seemed to use. She also slipped out of her shoes – a gesture so domestic it made his heart leap. "If you could light the fire in the meantime."
John nodded in response to her orders whilst she arranged the cups and the tea pot, bringing the kettle over to heat on the stove when the fire had been lit. They scuttled around together, preparing their tea and some lunch, with John occasionally sneaking behind Anna and wrapping his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he watched her.
"You know it will take me longer to make with you there," she commented, although she secretly loved every moment of it.
"Don't care," he murmured as he kissed the side of her neck delicately. "I can have tea every day."
Anna giggled at his response and turned in his arms so that she was facing him and moved to wrap her arms around his neck. She gave him a quick peck on the lips, "It's as if we actually live together."
Such was their confidence about the divorce, or at least their lives together regardless of her decisions, they simply smiled at her comment.
"Soon." John promised.
Anna presented him with a smile in response. For a moment they both imagined the little cottage that Lord Grantham had once promised them, a small place of their own close by to the Abbey where the two of them could spend their evenings alone, doing their own little things and waking together in the morning before work. On their free afternoons together Anna would start work in the little back garden and he would join her later, insisting that he helped. It would not be glamorous or extravagant, but it would be their own. Anna would be immensely proud of the flowers when they bloomed and he would humour her, simply loving the way he could watch her in the state of happiness that she was.
"Right, come on, you," Anna broke through his reverie, removing his arms from around her waist and turning back to tend to their tea.
John grumbled and muttered something underneath his breath, still stroking her sides with both of his hands and leaving a soft kiss to her neck.
"Done?"
Anna nodded, "Done. Can you grab the tray?"
John reached across her, purposely brushing against her back as he brought the tray down for Anna and started to help her place the cups and the pot onto it. He smirked to himself as he heard her let out a large sigh, and then collected the tray himself, taking it over to the small table in front of the settee whilst Anna stood in the small kitchen area, a hand on her hips and a mock glare on her face.
He simply turned, shrugged and smiled.
Anna shook her head, closing the distance between them as she reached out an arm and beckoned him to move closer. "Come here," she murmured in an almost sultry whisper, grabbing him by the shirt and moving her head upwards to capture his lips in a searing, passionate kiss.
John responded enthusiastically, bringing his hands up once more to stroke her sides before they moved to her face, cradling her cheeks as if she was the most precious gem in the entire world, only to be handled with extreme care. They almost covered her entire face. He deepened the kiss, stroking her lips with his tongue as she willingly surrendered beneath his touch, her low moans spurring him to continue on.
Whilst both of them could feel the familiar stirrings inside them, both of them were also aware of the dangers that could bring to both of them. Therefore, once Anna had sought him here in Kirkbymoorside and these feelings had been rekindled, both of them had agreed to stop their passionate embraces before the two of them passed the point of no return. The consequences – with him still being married – could be too much for both of them, and John also had too much respect for Anna to lay with her before he could call her his wife in the eyes of the law.
Therefore, after a few more minutes wrapped in an embrace, the two of them pulled apart. Anna was a little breathless from the intensity of the kiss and John was attempting to regain his regular breathing pattern too, their foreheads pressed together.
Anna reached up to stroke his shirt under the guise of straightening it once more, and she spoke up softly and winked at him, "Perhaps I should give you your present now. Before we forget and get carried away."
John laughed heartily as he ate the last bite of the sweet and savoury pastries Anna had brought. It had been her gift to him, along with a new book he had eyed in the shop a few weeks ago, bought especially from the bakery in Downton village that he had enjoyed immensely during his time there. She knew which had been his favourites and she had bought a few of each for them both. He had questioned her about the basket earlier on that afternoon, and she had simply smirked and told him it was his gift, so it was a surprise.
During their improvised lunch, John had started to regale a story about one of his former Christmases as a child. He had made it half way through the story until he remembered he had told her this one before, although he judged that by the look on her face, she had not minded in the slightest. He had then begged her to tell him something about her Christmases as a child, and Anna had proceeded to tell him a story about a Christmas when she had been about ten. It was the most perfect Christmas, the last before her father had passed away, making it all the more special.
She had then moved from the poignancy of her tale to a Christmas memory at Downton, when she had first started as a housemaid. One of the housemaids at the time had proposed the idea of some mistletoe in the doorway of the Servants' Hall and Anna recounted how Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes had been caught underneath it. John had then asked if she had received any kisses beneath the mistletoe, and she had nodded, telling him she had been given a kiss from one of the footmen and a hall boy, both on the cheek although both had tried to push their luck, however under the watchful stern of Mrs Hughes, had thought otherwise.
He had kissed her then, just because he wanted to, and she accepted it willingly.
Anna had then told him about that same Christmas, and how the former scullery maid had dropped the dish carrying their vegetables. Mr Carson had turned red and the maid had hidden herself in the kitchen for most of the night.
John laughed heartily. "What did you do?"
"Christmas dinner with no veg."
John continued to laugh.
"Well, Mrs Patmore tried to cook some more. But it kept on coming to the table at different times, so it was impossible."
"Oh, the drama." John announced dramatically, moving his arm to tighten around her shoulders and pull her closer to him. "I prefer a quieter Christmas."
Silence descended over both of them as the two were reminded that he would indeed have a very quiet Christmas this year. But before either could be drowned in too many sorrows, John spoke up and disentangled himself.
"I almost forgot. Your present." He stood up and walked across to the corner and opened one of the drawers in a cabinet there. "Although nothing can beat Mrs Pardew's pastries." He turned and winked at her, and found that as he watched her sitting there and waiting for her present with an excited smile, he had never seen a more heart-warming sight. He walked across to her and handed her the gift, wrapped in a velvet pouch.
Once John had sat down beside her again, Anna greeted him with a kiss of thanks.
"You haven't even opened it yet," John remarked.
"But I love it already," Anna countered him, smiling and closing the distance between their lips again.
After this kiss, John urged her to open it. Anna obliged, feeling rather excited about the gift, and began to pull the chords holding the pouch closed. Inside she discovered a box – a small box.
Anna felt her breath catch in her throat. She thought she knew what it was, but she could not quite believe it. Her fingers fumbled with the box, simply staring at it for a moment. She could feel John move closer to her, his fingertips lightly dancing across her thigh, almost nervously. She took a deep breath and opened the box and was greeted with the sight of the most beautiful ring. A simple, gold band with a small diamond encrusted. Anna let out the breath she had been holding in a sigh.
"John…"
Out of the corner of her eye, she was still so focused on the ring, she watched as his hand moved to cover hers, his thumb stroking the skin of her hand. She turned to face him, her eyes full of curiosity.
"It belonged to my mother," John explained. He started to remove the ring from the box, still using his other hand to hold hers. "It was her wedding ring. Before she died, she told me to give it to you when the time was right." He could see tears forming in her eyes. "I thought the time was right. It will give you something to hold onto over the Christmas period, and until the divorce is finalised and I can return to you." John placed the ring in the middle of her flat palm and started to close her fingers around it gently. "Because I love you. And although you have my heart, I want to give you something more. This is the best I can do until I am a free man."
Anna found it was quite impossible to stop the tears falling from her eyes. She almost broke out in a sob when he told her he loved her – the words she had felt through his actions, his small glances, for years but only heard a handful of times.
"Quite the orator," Anna murmured through her tears, causing them both to smile and laugh softly. "Oh, you silly man." Anna continued, tears still falling freely. He looked confused, so she explained. "You go and give me the best present, and all it does is put mine to shame."
He tilted his head sideways, as if to ask if she were mad. Her gift had been perfect. Then she started crying a little more and seemingly started to laugh, and John had no idea if she was laughing or crying more.
So instead, he pulled her into her side and laughed with her, letting her bury her face into his shirt as she wrapped her arms around him, the ring still clutched tightly in her hand. He rubbed her back gently while her hysterics continued, until slowly she began to regain her composure.
When it was silent once more, John dared to speak up and ask,
"So you like it, then?"
He received a slap on the chest. He laughed. Anna lifted her head from his chest, her red eyes the dearest sight he had ever witnessed, and he noticed she was also laughing, although she tried to hide it behind a smirk.
"Silly beggar, it's beautiful. I love it. You shouldn't have gone to the trouble. You know your heart is plenty for me."
She smiled, and John knew he had never felt happier in his whole life.
"But I wanted to. And…" He leaned across her to the small table where she had discarded the velvet pouch and fumbled around inside it for a moment, pulling out a small, gold chain. "I thought you could wear it on here, when you go back. That way no one asks about it." Anna smiled at his thought. "But just for now," he continued. "When I come back, you can wear it on your finger."
"Perfect," Anna smiled, moving closer to him and pressing her lips to his in a soft kiss. "I love it. The best present ever. Thank you." He smiled at her simple observation, and he felt his heart could burst. Then she added teasingly, "Your talents are wasted as a valet."
John gave her a look and moved towards her, closing the distance between their lips once more as he set out to prove he had many other talents.
Anna could not stop smiling on the bus ride back. The snow had continued to fall even after their afternoon together, leading to her being covered in snow from head to foot. He had walked her to the bus stop as usual and they had shared a quick kiss before the bus had rounded the corner. It had been a painful goodbye, considering the length of time until they knew they would be able to see each other again, and even then neither of them knew for certain. It was decided that she would write to him over the period and inform him of her schedule and they could plan. She had sown the seeds long ago and mentioned that she had an old family friend in Kirkbymoorside when the first of his letters had arrived, although they tried to keep them at a minimum.
The snow was beginning to blow more wildly around the bus, and Anna briefly wondered if it had reached Downton village yet. But her thoughts soon strayed from the weather, and to the ring that she could feel hanging around her neck.
She smiled, and could not resist the temptation to take it out from beneath her collar, her eyes feasting on the symbol of their love. Not for the first time, she wished she had gotten to know his mother more. From their first meeting, she had grown to admire the old woman. She had seen her once more, she had been given permission by Mrs Hughes to go and help John tend to his mother in London for a couple of nights before she passed away. Mrs Bates had approached the matter in one of her letters to John, and after a conversation with Mrs Hughes about responsibilities and virtues, she had let Anna go, only under the condition that Mrs Bates write to her and ensure that no funny business had gone on. Anna had been glad Mr Bates had not been present at that moment, for she was sure he would have turned bright red at the implications.
She had gone from admiring his mother to loving her dearly in those days together. Margaret Bates had taught her some of the sewing skills she had accumulated over the years and Anna had shown some of her own. She had helped with some of the sewing that Margaret simply could not handle anymore because of her frailty, and this had filled a rainy afternoon whilst John had been in London enquiring about a helper to look in on his mother, until he had eventually ran into an old family friend who had agreed to help where possible.
Anna smiled at the memory of those two days in London.
As she cast her mind back to those days once more, remembering the times she had spent with John and his mother, and time with them both separately, she realised that the bus had finally made its stop at Downton.
She thanked the driver and hopped off the bus, noticing that the snow had not yet reached here.
Anna returned to the Abbey having managed to brush most of the snow from her shoes and coat, although she noticed Mrs Hughes rushing towards her in the courtyard almost as soon as she had arrived.
"Oh, Anna, thank goodness. We were looking for a specific dress for Lady Mary that she wishes to take on her trip to London, and… oh, has it been snowing?" Anna noticed the confused expression of the housekeeper as she took in her appearance.
Looking at her appearance, she noticed some snow that was still stuck to the arm of her coat.
"It was snowing in, um, Thirsk… I went to get some last minute Christmas gifts to send to my family."
"But Mr Barrow was in Thirsk earlier, he mentioned the snow had not reached there."
"I meant Kirkbymoorside. We passed through Thirsk on the bus." Anna shook her head and smiled, hoping that Mrs Hughes would believe her story. "That's what I meant to say. My head is everywhere today. Well, I must get on. I can find that dress for you…"
With that, Anna quickly brushed past Mrs Hughes and in through the back door.
The housekeeper turned and watched her go with a suspicious frown.
Last chapter: Anna and Bates spend their Christmases apart and Mrs Hughes confronts Anna, but as some news in the New Year is unveiled, John may be back in Downton sooner than expected.