Author's Note: I realized this morning that I have been remiss in giving credit where credit is due. The title of this story is the result of a series of conversations I held some time ago with Soul Music, who dropped the extremely apropos little phrase and was kind enough to allow me to use it. Some of the content of this story is also rooted in those discussions we had, so many, many thanks to Soul Music for letting my muse riff off our talks!

Their flight was uneventful, and they exited the plane in high spirits. Dick had wondered frequently during the trip whether or not Damian had found and read his note yet, and if so what his reaction had been, but he tried not to dwell on it. Bruce had promised to keep an extra eye on the boy while they were gone, and there was nothing more that could be done about the issue from his end. Now, he reminded himself as they walked down the jetway, it was time to focus on Tim.

"Damn, those were some good cookies," the man in question remarked. "Not, you know, Alfred-good, but good."

"The flight attendant brought you enough of them that you should know," he joked. "I think she liked you. You want to stop out here and try to get her number when she comes out?"

"That wouldn't be the creepiest thing in the world or anything. Excuse me, miss, I noticed that you went above and beyond at your job; would you care to be stalked as a reward?"

"Heh. Well, when you put it that way it does sound creepy. C'mon, though, didn't you think she was cute?"

"...She might not have as good of cookies as Alfred does, but she was definitely better looking. I'll give her that."

"I'm not sure 'better looking than Alfred' is much of a compliment to give a girl."

"Maybe not, but it's better than telling her she's less attractive than a sixty-some-odd years old Englishman."

"You do have a point there." He slowed as they passed a coffee cart. "Thirsty? We've got a couple hours drive to get out to the hotel."

"Might be nice to have something cool for the road. I could see heat waves rising off the runway when we taxied in."

"The landing announcement said it's eighty-three out today. It should be cooler at elevation, though."

"God, I hope so..."

Cold drinks in hand, they retrieved their packs from the luggage carousel two levels down and headed for the rental car desks. A half-dozen documents later they approached a long row of SUVs. Dick pressed a button on the key fob he'd been given, and a set of taillights blinked at them in reply.

"Reading the sign over the car felt plebeian, or what?" Tim teased.

"E-7 was just too complicated for me to remember," he joshed right back.

"Watch, there was someone else around who came up with the same solution and this is actually their rental."

"I wonder what the odds of that would be?"

"You don't like numbers that big."

"Darn. Oh well. Hey, the key works," he announced as he lifted the back gate. "I guess the odds were in our favor, huh?"

"Trust me, it would have been hard for them not to be."

"I'll take your word for it."

Once they were strapped in, Dick clapped his hands together. "Alright. I need you to navigate."

"...We have a GPS," Tim pointed at the dash.

"True. But that won't tell me if you want to pull over to look at something."

"Oh. I think I'll probably be good if it's only a couple of hours."

"Well, if you change your mind..."

"I'll say something."

"Okay. I mean it, though, Timmy. We can stop every tenth of a mile for a picture if you want. I don't mind."

"I know you don't. Seriously, I'll tell you if I want to stop. I have to break in my Christmas camera, after all."

"True. If that's settled, then let's go shopping."

Between their urban pathfinding skills and the navigation system, it was child's play finding a sporting goods store. Dick was both repulsed and elated by the décor inside, which consisted primarily of mounted hunting trophies from around the world. On the one hand, he very much preferred wild animals to be alive; on the other, it was neat to get a preview of the creatures that they might encounter on their hike.

"Hey, Dick?" Tim drew his attention away from the heads that ringed the huge warehouse.

"Huh?"

"You can relax. There's no elephant at this one."

"Oh..." That news did, in fact, ease his stomach. They had ventured into one of the Gotham branches of this particular chain of outfitters several months earlier, but he had been unable to stay once he'd spotted the huge gray-skinned relic that had held the place of pride above the gun counter. It had been an old specimen, his brother had informed him later, dating back to the fifties, but it still disgusted him when he thought about it. "Thanks," he said now. "I would have felt really bad if I'd had to run out on you again."

"Eh, we'd have just gone and found another store. Anyway...you want to make a bet on how many of these local animals we'll see this week?"

"There are plenty to choose from, that's for sure." From where they were standing they could see bears, wolves, a bison, various members of the deer family, and a dozen types of bird native to the region, all artfully taxidermied and on display. "Let's walk around a bit and lay down some numbers later."

"Sounds good to me."

The two hours of daylight they'd gained by coming west left them in no rush, and they took their time shopping. Stove fuel and bear spray, both verboten on commercial planes, were the first things they went after. After that there really wasn't much else that they needed or, indeed, had room for, but they strolled through the aisles anyway. Comparing prices and options on tents, packs, sleeping bags, and smaller gear had become a bit of a pastime for them since they'd begun preparing for this adventure, and it was even more fun to do in an area of hte country so different from their own.

"Do you think we'll need climbing equipment?" Tim frowned before a display of ropes and carabiners.

"Nah. It's not a difficult trail, just a restricted one. If we end up needing climbing gear, something's gone really wrong," Dick opined. "Besides, that's a lot of extra weight to carry for just in case we get a whim to scale a cliff."

"Ugh. No more weight. Point taken."

When they had satisfied themselves that the items they'd brought from home were the best ones available for them to set out with, they made their way to the front. "Ooh," Dick stopped suddenly before a display of old-fashioned candy. "Hey. Food for the ride?"

"You and your sweet tooth," Tim shook his head.

"Says the guy who ate a half-dozen cookies on the plane."

"She kept bringing them! I didn't want to be rude."

"Uh-huh," he nudged him. "Flirt."

"Puh-lease. I'm not a flirt. You're mistaking me for you."

"Nah, I know the difference. That's why I can feel safe buying a bag of licorice; you won't touch it."

"Yeah, you can just keep that nasty stuff to yourself. But these..." Tim snagged a bag of red-colored lozenges and dropped them in the basket. "These are delicious."

"Whatever makes you happy, little brother." Personally Dick thought that the cherry hard candies the younger man was fond of tasted like cough syrup, but he didn't mind paying for them so long as he wasn't going to be forced to eat them. "We ready?"

"Yup. Let's hit the road."

They'd been back on the freeway for all of thirty seconds when Tim uttered an oath. "What's wrong?" Dick inquired.

"We forgot to call Bruce, that's what's wrong."

"Oof," he cringed. The billionaire would have tried to contact them himself if he was getting truly worried, but he still hated to think that they'd caused him any undue stress. "Put him on speaker so we can both talk, would you?"

"Sure."

The phone barely got through one ring before it was answered, and Dick tore his eyes from the road just long enough to exchange a guilty look with his brother. "Hey," they greeted simultaneously.

"Boys. I was beginning to wonder. Was your flight delayed?"

"Um...no," he confessed.

"We might have forgotten to call before we went to the store," Tim pitched in. "Sorry."

"Sorry. But you'll be happy to hear that we have plenty of stove fuel and bear spray now," Dick announced, hoping to make up somewhat for their transgression. "...Also candy."

A chuckle sounded on the Gotham end. "Good. Did you eat yet?"

"Airplane food."

"Get something decent for dinner."

"Yes, Alfred," Tim laughed.

"You have a long walk ahead of you. You're going to want full stomachs to start out on. Dinner's on me, and breakfast, too, so don't skimp."

"You got it."

"Okay. Well..." There was a long pause. "...Just be careful out there. And don't forget to call me when you come off the trail." Another beat passed. "If you have a signal at some point, I wouldn't object to a mid-trip call, too."

The glance the pair in the SUV shared this time was one of concern. "...Is something wrong?" Dick queried. "You seem oddly nervous about this, Bruce."

"No. I just want you to be careful. Stick to the trail, and don't do anything unnecessarily risky."

"You heard him, Dick," Tim said with mock gravity. "No petting the bears, no matter how fluffy they look."

"If I find out that you tried something like that, you're grounded," Bruce threatened.

"...How are you going to ground me? I'm twenty-five!"

"I'll find a way. Don't go there."

"I won't, I won't," he swore. His mouth opened to ask about Damian, then closed again. Leave it, he advised himself. Timmy doesn't need to hear about it, and he definitely doesn't need to feel like I'm focused on anyone other than him this week. "Are we good?"

"...We're good. Have fun, and be safe. I'll talk to you both soon."

"Yup! Bye! Love you!"

"Bye, Bruce," Tim closed out the conversation and ended the call. He stared at his phone for a second, then broached a question. "...Does he seem off to you today?"

"You too, huh? Do I want this exit?"

"Uh...the GPS says you want the next one. I don't get it, though; this is far from the most dangerous thing we've ever done, so why all the extra 'be carefuls'?"

"Maybe just because it's something new? I mean, I've gone on weekend hikes with Wally before, but that's different, you know?"

"Maybe. Or...or maybe it's because we're doing it as civilians. With Wally, you'd have the advantage of his speed if you needed it, even as civilians. We're not metas, though, and with no radio connection with either him or the Watchtower, no armor, no Batgear...there's an added element of danger there."

"Hiking in armor...been there, done that, would prefer not to repeat." Dick shuddered as he recalled a miserable swamp slog he'd had to make in full Batman regalia during Bruce's absence. "I can see why that would worry him, but...I don't know, it feels like something more than that." It couldn't be Damian, he thought. The boy's attitude this morning was worrisome, but not to the point where Bruce would be telling them to be extra cautious. Besides, the man hadn't even known about that aspect of things when they'd parted at the airport, and he'd acted strangely then, too. "...A lot can happen in the wilderness, sure, but a lot can happen walking down the street. He never gets this antsy when we go into town."

"We know town. We don't know this place."

"True..."

"I think you're right, though. There's something else bothering him. I'd say he has information about something going on out here, but he would have told us about it."

"...I don't know about that," Dick argued slowly. "If he figured that whatever he knows would make us worry, or might entice us to chase after it and get ourselves into trouble, I could see him keeping it to himself."

"Hmm..." Tim settled back in his seat. "That seems logical. He wants us to have fun, so he wouldn't want to distract us from vacation with a possible mission. I could buy that, especially since we're out of costume. But what is it, then?"

"I have no idea. I haven't heard of anything big going on out here in ages, have you?"

"Nope."

"Huh."

"You got that right."

"Well...do you want to chase this further? We could call Uncle Clark. If anyone will know what's going on, it's him, and he might be convinced to spill."

There was no answer for a moment. "You know what?" Tim ruled finally, "no. I don't want to chase it. I know that's probably the weirdest thing I've ever said without having a head injury to account for it, but we didn't come out here to solve a mystery. We came out here to have an awesome hiking trip, and that's what I want to do. If Bruce needed us to handle something, he would have told us so. Since he didn't, let's just be normal for a few days."

Dick was pleased. As much as he loved a good chase, the prospect of giving up what little time they had to be regular guys together in order to embark on one hadn't delighted him. "Good plan," he nodded. They fell silent as they exited onto a north-bound highway that immediately began to climb. In a few seconds the bulk of the city they'd landed in was no longer visible in the rearview mirror, and not even the presence of other vehicles on the road could take away from the sense that it was now just them and mother nature. "...Let's throw on some music and open up the candy," he suggested with a happy sigh as colorful canyon walls rose on either side of them, blocking out everything except the road ahead. "Car trips don't get any more normal than that."