A/N - Don't mind me, I'm too busy fangirling about being friends with my crush on Facebook to write anything that's not funny.

Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who.

"Help me!"

Emma turned from the bar to see the Doctor rushing towards her, a panicked look on his face as he continually glanced over his shoulder. "What happened?"

"Right, see, I happened to run into one of my greatest enemies." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Of course, he doesn't recognize me because I haven't seen him in a few regenerations...but he's quite suspicious. I think he's onto me, Emma! I've tried to act not like myself, but it's extremely hard, and he's a like a bloodhound!" He leaned closer to her, darting his eyes from her face to a man sitting at a table. "He asked me to have a drink with him, I said I'd get the drinks, and then I came to you. I started telling you how I ran into-"

"Okay," she held a hand up. "I've got it, Doctor, but what do you want me to do?"

"Help me. Scare him off, or help make me seem less like myself." He gulped. "If he discovers that I'm me, everyone in this pub will be dead."

She nodded, looking to the ceiling in thought. "Make you seem less like yourself, huh?" A smirk appeared on her face.

"Emma?" He gave her a wary look.

"Close your eyes."

"Wha-" He didn't have time to follow her command as an ice cold liquid splashed in his face. He sputtered, some sort of alcohol spilling out of his mouth and dribbling down his chin. "Em-" He was cut off by a slap across the face. "What in the hell are you-"

"Stay away from me, you pervert!" Emma huffed and cast a meaningful glance at the door before grabbing her purse and storming out.

The Doctor started towards the door, pausing for a moment to look back to the man at the table. "So sorry! Perhaps a drink another time? I have to..." He gestured towards the door. "Yes!" He ran outside to catch up with his companion. "Emelyne, would you like to explain what, exactly, that was in there?"

"Oi, don't use my full name!" She glared at him. "I helped you, for God's sake."

"Helped me? There isn't one planet in the universe where throwing a drink in someone's face, hitting them, and calling them a pervert is considered helping." He paused beside the TARDIS, narrowing his eyes. "Okay, there may be one planet like that, but we're certainly not on it!"

"Doctor, I did help you. What better way to make you seem less like you than by having everyone believe you're a disgusting pervert who tries to pick up young girls? You're nothing like that." She grinned, pushing the TARDIS door open and waltzing inside.

He stormed in after her. "Yes, alright, that may be true, but I could have done without the alcohol and the slap!"

"Sorry. I've just always wanted to do that. It looks so fun on the television..." She shrank back at his withering look.

"Why did I choose to travel with someone so violent?"

A/N - I actually had a lot of fun writing that one! I hope you had just as much fun reading it.