Chapter 17: Realization
Jayden didn't sleep the entire night. She didn't expect to.
We have a problem.
I know… oh Kings, I love Dark!
The realization had hit her like a ton of bricks and made her cheeks feel hot. Somewhere deep inside, she knew she still loved Dark, but she had forced herself to believe she had let that feeling fade at least for the most part. She forced herself to think of him only as a friend, but clearly that hadn't worked.
The rest of the night, Jayden tossed and turned, a million things going over in her mind. Zula even woke because of Jayden's restlessness at one point and asked if she was okay. Jayden whispered she was fine and tried to move less from then on. Everytime she closed her eyes in the dark, she saw his pretty blue eyes and his smile.
Kings, I love him so much. I never stopped. I was so stupid to believe I could forget him.
She put her paws over her head, wishing she could just wish her love away. Loving Dark only made things complicated and would only lead to more heart break.
As the night wore on, she considered a new possibility.
Could he still… I mean even a little.. Just like me? He did smile at me a lot tonight. And laughed and wrestled with me like we did when we were cubs. She sighed and smiled. It was just like old times when I was so happy. It was wonderful. Maybe… if he does like me… maybe we could go back to how we were. We could be a couple again. Only real this time, we're grown up!
Her heart was soaring, flying. She felt happier than she had in a long time. The good feeling didn't last long though when her heart quickly crashed.
But that can never be… There's Dayya. She still seems to like Dark. Maybe even love him. I don't know for sure but she's till a problem. And we're still leaving for home when Torrent is born and able to travel. No… even if it did turn out that he liked me, we couldn't be a couple for such a short time. My heart can't handle that.
Besides… who says he really still has feelings for me? Sure he smiled at me, but he smiles at everyone. He's polite. He even smiled a lot at Ahila. Her eyes popped open, and narrowed. Ahila… she's also in my way. Does sh elike him and he likes her back? Or is it one sided? Or am I making this all up in my head? Agh! I'm not allowed to love him anyway, it doesn't matter if he and Ahila end up as a couple.
She wanted to scream. This back-and-forth in her head was making her crazy. She wished she could fall asleep. Going outdoors would help her sleep, but she knew she wasn't going outside until morning for fear of meeting Dark again by accident. She just had to wait for sleep or dawn.
What am I going to do? I love Dark, I can't avoid that anymore and as long as I'm here in the Pride Lands, I'll continue to love him. And maybe even after I leave here. Oh Kings, I don't want to be heart broken forever, living half a life, always wanting Dark…
Do I avoid him from now on? Or do I tell him? No! No way. That's the last thing I do. What if I just act normal… and keep this feeling in me? And just enjoy it while I can.
It was the most sane thought she had all night. Her thoughts still raced after that, but soon the racing slowed. Then the thoughts became fuzzy. Then didn't make sense. Then just as the sun began rising over the horizon, the in-love lioness fell asleep.
There was a paw prodding her side. Jayden almost didn't open her eyes.
Is that Dark?
But she recognized the scent to be someone else. It was Tempest.
"Jayden, are you alright?" her concerned voice came as Jayden opened her eyes and rose her head.
"Oh, Uh, yes." she said groggily. Her head felt like it weighed twice the normal amount. Her eyes could barely open.
"The sun is at the top of the sky. You've slept pretty late." The peach lioness said, her ice blue eyes searching Jayden's.
"Oh." The brown lioness said again, and shook her head. She stood rather slowly, her whole body feeling heavy.
"Are you sick? I can get Mairu, just go back to sleep."
"No, I'm fine." she said finding the rest of her voice. "I just didn't sleep well last night." Didn't sleep at all, more like. "But I'm fine, Tempest."
"You sure?"
"Yes, thanks though. How are you? Your wound?" Jayden peered over her sister's back. "Wow, Temp, it looks great!"
The wound on the smaller lioness's back had mostly closed and was just a thick scab. There was some redness, but not nearly as much as before.
"Yes, I'm so relieved, it's looking much better thanks to the medicine. I fell like I'm getting my energy back too. It's such a relief. That means Mani and Dad will stop fawning over me. They ask me every two minutes if I'm okay or do I need anything, or do I need to rest? It's exhausting!" Tempest flipped her hair from her eyes and huffed out a sigh.
Jayden smirked. "Oh yes, it must be so tiring being waited on so intently."
Tempest swatted her sister with her paw. "Why you! You know, you looked like mom when you said that."
That surprised Jayden. "Really?" she hadn't realized she resembled Vitani in any way. Or cared that she did.
"Well don't get excited, I look like her all the time." Tempest said with a gleam in her eye. Jayden laughed.
"You must be feeling better, you're back to your own ornery self."
"That's why you all love me! Come on, you nearly missed lunch, sleepy head."
Tempest lead Jayden out of the cave and down the steps into the clearing where lunch was being brought. Several Pridelanders were still eating, Dark included.
Jayden almost halted her footsteps, but forced herself to keep going. Her heart started to race. She told herself to try to act normal, and she stood beside Tempest and took a bite of the prey. Dark looked up and noticed her. She gave a polite smile and nod as she would have done to any friend.
"Hey!" Dark said. He looked to have just finished eating his fill. "What are you doing today, Jayden?"
"Oh, um." Jayden nervously looked at her sister, but she was just eating, her head bowed, chewing on a piece of bloody fat.
"There you are, Jayden!" Came a voice. Drayden walked over to them, a chunk of meat in his mouth. He set it down by his paws when he was near enough. "I was saving this for you incase you missed the meal again. But I see you got here in time."
"Yes I did. But thank you. You don't always have to save me a part of the meal, you know." Jayden said in a light tone. She was beginning to see how Drayden favored her. It could be true he liked her.
Well that's not my fault. I've never lead him on. she thought.
"What should I do with this then?" Drayden said, lifting one of his front paws and gesturing at the meat.
"Actually, could I take it?" Dark said, moving closer. "My mother probably didn't make it over here to eat yet. She's been getting kind of skinny. I should make sure she's eating."
"Sure." Drayden said, pushing the meat toward the black lion.
"That's nice of you." Jayden blurted. He's so sweet to his mom! She felt herself blush.
Dark took the meat in his mouth and with a wave of his tail, he took off. Tempest and the remaining lionesses feasting on the left over prey were dispersing. Jayden ate a little more prey while Drayden said, "By the way, your parents are wanting to speak to you. They said to meet them at the Southern border."
"Oh, alright." The lioness replied.
"I'll go with you. I've kinda been looking for an excuse to stretch my legs." he said.
"So you're looking forward to our big trip home?" she joked, taking a few last bites of what was left of the meal.
Drayden chuckled. "Maybe. It wasn't so bad."
"I was worried for Tempest the whole time."
"She seems better now."
"Yes, much better." she agreed happily. "And plump!"
"She's almost ready to have her cub right?" Drayden asked.
"Yes, I think it's about 2 weeks away, if things go as scheduled.
Jayden stepped away from the prey. Not much was left, just bones and scraps. The two lions headed out to meet Vitani and Tome. It was nice out today. Eventhough the sun was directly over head, it wasn't overbearing. There was a slight breeze, and birds were singing joyfully.
"Did my parents say what they wanted to talk to me about?"
"No, not really."
"Oh. I hope it's nothing like: 'Jayden, you need to work on your hunting!'" she imitated her mother's voice, and made herself giggle.
"You hunt fine, that's not what they're gonna say." he replied. Drayden looked at th ebrown lioness with an odd look in his eye.
"What?" Jayden said, noticing the look.
"You're different here." he said.
"What?"
"You act different. Ever since we got to the Pride Lands."
"I do?" she swallowed hard. "How?"
"You seem happier. Lighter."
"I think it must be from being around all my old friends again." Jayden said, telling the truth.
"There were times back home when you seemed sad." he said quietly. Jayden didn't respond at first. She hadn't realized he'd noticed.
Quickly, she thought of something to say. "Zula's really loosened me up," she laughed nervously. "I'm not used to being in such a large pride with so many old and new friends. I really like Taeliss and Mebala too. Having friends makes me glad."
"I'm your friend." Drayden said.
"Of course you are!" Jayden said with a light tone. "Now I just have lots of friends."
"Who were you closest to when you were cubs?" Drayden asked.
Dark… she thought immediately. But instead, said, "Well…hmm.. We were all close. Me, Dayya, Zuna, Zula, Malowa, Clous and Dark." she said cooly.
"Did you guys ever get into trouble?"
"Not me." Well there was that one time me and Dark met at night when no cubs were allowed out at night and Sanu caught us.
She cleared her throat. Thoughts of Dark were distracting her too much. "Clous, Dark and Malowa did once." she tried to recover. She told him the story of Clous's rock sliding that almost ended with disaster.
Jayden wanted to ask Drayden about his cub hood friends back in his old pride, but she knew that might be hard for Drayden to revisit that era in his life since his friends were killed by the new King that had taken over. She felt bad she wasn't trying to include him in the conversation.
It's a wonder he likes me- if he does- I can't even think of a decent thing to ask him, like a polite friend would.
Soon, the two arrived at the border, but Vitani and Tome were no where to be seen.
"Am I meeting them at the right time?" Jayden asked.
"Yes, this should be right."
Jayden attempted to sniff their scent incase they had come and gone, but she didn't catch either of them. She announced this to Drayden. He only shrugged and sat, saying they should wait for a little bit.
Jayden thought this seemed kind of suspicious. Maybe Drayden brought them out here on purpose, using her parents as a false pretense. She snuck a look at the peach lion to try to gauge his expression. She thought she could catch him looking guilty, but he was just casually licking his paw.
Oh well. she thought. Even if he did bring me out here to spend time with me, what's the worst that could happen? It's a nice day out and he's my friend. Jayden relaxed on the ground and stretched out. When she put her head down, and closed her eyes, she felt tiredness come over her. She was still sleepy from staying up all night. Her mind wandered and she thought of her and Dark wrestling in the night.
It was really fun. She felt herself smiling. I really love him… I know I shouldn't but I do. I want to spent more time with him.
"Happy?" Drayden interrupted her thoughts.
Jayden opened her eyes, and hid her smile. "Um. Yes. It's such a nice day out. The sun feels good on my fur."
"Or are you just happy to be out with me?" Drayden joked. She caught eyes with him, his ice blue eyes were playful, and he had a smile, but she couldn't help feeling he said it to test her. Which means he was flirting.
A little cheesy, but he's still charming. Jayden admitted to herself She smiled and narrowed her eyes, "You think you're pretty special, huh?" she said in her best Vitani taunting voice. Drayden laughed. The hair that framed his eyes flipped out of position when he tossed his head. Jayden noticed that his bangs were the second feature that brought out his eyes. The first was the dark brown coloring around his eyes.
Drayden is handsome. If I didn't love Dark I could probably see myself with him… if I gave myself time.
Drayden noticed her look. "What are you thinking?" he asked seriously.
"Nothing." she said a little too quickly, and looked away. He was about to respond when a couple voices came from behind Jayden.
"Wooo!" one shouted, "I beatcha!"
"No fair!" the other replied.
It was Clous and Afia. The burnt-orange lion trotted over to Drayden and Jayden. The little light orange cub caught up, she was panting and out of breath.
"Hey you two." Jayden greeted, happy for the distraction.
"You just beat your little sister in a race?" Drayden said. "You're supposed to let the cub win."
"Psh, no way!" Clous teased.
Afia growled and pushed Clous's muscular shoulder. "You're so mean!" she said. Jayden giggled.
"No, I'm not." the red manned lion said. He contradicted himself, though, when he put his paw on Afia's back and squished her lightly. Her cheek brushed the ground and dirt flew in her face and mouth and she tried to spit it out while trying to squirm out form under his older brother's paw.
She made it out, and charged over to Jayden. "Aunt Jayden! Make him stop!"
Jayden smiled. "I'm your cousin, actually."
"Whatever." she stuck her nose in the air, "You're totally old, that's all I know."
Jayden's mouth dropped, and Clous and Drayden broke into laughter. She could only join in.
I wish I had a cub like her. She's so spunky and cute.
Afia suddenly plopped herself in Jayden's paws and gave her an order, "Wash me."
"Afia, can't you at least say 'please'?" Clous asked. The light orange cub sighed so heavily you would have thought Clous asked her to run a marathon.
"Please! And hurry up." she said.
Clous rolled his eyes.
"Oh boy." Drayden muttered.
Jayden happily obliged. The cub was a bit rude, but she liked her. She began licking her head and small shoulders. Afia smiled and leaned into the licks happily. Jayden never gave a cub a bath before. It made her feel oddly…right. It was a warm, happy feeling. She wanted to hug the cub and pretend she was her own.
I could never pass for her mother. She's soft orange like Kiara, and I'm dark brown. She really looks like her mother. They are identical except Afia has yellow eyes and fluffy cheeks.
"You know Jayden," Clous said, "You look good with a cub. You should have one!"
Jayden's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. Why does he have to say that right here in front of Drayden? Does he think we're a couple?
Clous laughed at her expression. "I'm only joking! Don't have a heart attack!"
Jayden recovered. "You're the one with a serious girlfriend, you should be having cubs!"
"Oh right." Clous said as if that was on his agenda and he'd just forgotten. "But I still can't remember which one I'm dating. Zuna, Zula, Zuzu, I don't know anymore."
Jayden laughed and Drayden looked confused. "Now wait a minute, which one are you dating?" he asked.
"Don't confuse him!" Jayden told Clous. "He's just learned the names of all the Prideland members." She turned to Drayden. "He's dating Zuna. She's the one with slightly more orange eyes. And if you look carefully her fur is smoother than Zula's. Zula's looks a bit rough, like mine."
"Your fur is fine." Drayden said.
"My belly!" Afia shouted from Jayden's arms. She was on her back and exposing her light peach stomach. Jayden smiled and gave her belly a big lick. The cub giggled.
"You're so cute, I just wanna eat you!" Jayden nibbled playfully at the cub's stomach. She squealed and laughed.
"That's it, she's yours." Clous said. "I'm telling my mom you're adopting her." He started off toward Pride Rock. Jayden just laughed. She stood and followed Clous, turning to Drayden and said, "Come on, let's head back, my parents must have forgotten to come."
Drayden nodded and followed too. Afia chased after them, swatting their tails.