THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ AND REVIEWED MY FANFIC SO FAR. IT FEELS AWESOME TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENJOYING WHAT I AM WRITING. I'M REALLY EXCITED TO GET THIS STORY OUT. I HAVE WANTED TO WRITE IT FOR SO LONG :)

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. THEY BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYERS AND I AM WRITING THIS FOR FUN. I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT SEEK ANY FINANCIAL GAIN FOR WRITING THESE STORIES.

CHAPTER 2: DIFFERENT BUT GOOD

It was early afternoon and Jacob and I dozed lazily in my bed. I snuggled closer to him, fitting my head under his chin and draping my arm around his torso. He drew small circles in the small of my back and sighed into my hair.

Everything about this moment felt so right and I was a little surprised to feel like that. Just a few weeks ago I would have sworn that only Edward could make everything right. That only Edward could make me happy, make me feel, make me whole again.

Edward and I together had never made sense. But love seldom does. The initial attraction had been so intense. He was compelled by my blood and I was impelled by his beauty. But I was all light cotton and rounded corners and Edward was heavy granite and jagged edges. Fate had thrust us together and it only made sense that after we crashed together I would be the one ripped to shreds.

I thought about the state I was in when Edward first left. I had just sat there in the aftermath staring at all the little pieces of me he had left behind. It hurt to breathe, to think, to be. But then I found that the more time I spent with Jacob things got a little easier to bear. It didn't hurt so much.

The way he looked at me I knew he saw the mess I was. He knew without my saying what not to say. He didn't need to read my mind to know what I was thinking. He could read my eyes and meet a need I had never given voice too. I was still in a million little pieces but Jacob was so attuned to me and had found a way to start the process of stitching me back together.

It was not Jacob's hands, his lips, his body that I had imagined touching me when I gave myself away but he felt so right. It was so different from what I had imagined but that was ok. I felt different too. My body ached. My limbs were sore but in a good way.

But it wasn't just physically that I felt different. Something at the core of me had shifted. When Jacob had started to undress me I had felt a little shy and unsure of myself. I knew Jacob loved me but what if he didn't like the way that I looked. But the way he looked at me, the way he touched me with a sense of awe and reverence, made me feel a confidence I'd never felt before. Jacob made me feel beautiful.

I sighed against his chest and he held me a little tighter.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered into my hair as if he were picking up my train of thought. He rolled me onto my back and lay on top of me bearing most of his weight on his arms.

"Do you know how I've longed for this moment?" He whispered against my lips. "You in my arms staring back at me with love in your eyes."

"Love?" I giggled. "I think you've got something in your eyes. Because I'm pretty sure I never said anything about love." I joked, taunting him.

"You can laugh all you like." He said smiling down at me. "But you love me Bella. You've not said it with words but your body betrays you." He circled his hips and my laughter died in my throat as wave of desire rolled through me.

I tried to frame a witty reply but it got lost as a moan escaped my lips. He kissed me deeply then smiled against my lips. "Your body knows even if you don't." He laughed as he rolled away from me.

I felt bereft. I wanted to feel the weight of him. He sat on the edge of the bed and began to redress.

"Where are you going?" I pouted.

"I need to go check in. Sam is probably mad as hell. We've had to move things around with scheduling patrols. I'm running a double shift today so that at least some of us could be at the funeral today."

I had been so wrapped up in my own little world I had kind of forgotten about the funeral today and felt a little guilty. Jacob should be there but he was out running himself ragged trying to protect me.

"It's ok." He said reading my face. "This is where I needed to be." He leaned forward and kissed me. "Things have been so …" His expression turned inward.

"Yeah." I said understanding.

He smiled at me. "It was nice to not think about anything and just loose myself in you for a little while." He confessed.

"You should at least shower before you go." I blushed. "I mean don't you feel…sticky"

He shrugged. "I like having your scent on me."

My blush deepened.

"Will I see you later?" I felt silly asking but things were different now and I did not want to assume.

Jacob scrunched his eyebrows together as if he were confused by the question "Why wouldn't we see each other later. I spend nearly every day with you."

"I don't know. I mean maybe you need a bit of distance because of all this." I gestured between the two of us.

"Bella don't be ridiculous." He huffed, annoyance coloring his tone. "I love you. Yes, I'm a little disappointed that you won't say it back." He shrugged "But distancing myself won't change anything. You'll tell me when you're ready. And I plan on doing everything in my power to hasten that day." He said with conviction.

I let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I was glad to hear him say out loud that he wasn't going to abandon me. I definitely felt something stronger than like for Jacob but I had loved before and been utterly destroyed and I was terrified of loving that deeply again. Maybe with time I could get to that place. But in the mean time I meant to enjoy whatever means he tried to employ to 'hasten that day"

Fully dressed Jacob kissed me then stood and ghosted out of my room. Even with boots on his tread was soundless. "See you later," he called from the steps.

"Ok," I called back. I waited to hear the door slam shut but then the phone rang and I heard Jacob answer.

I was searching for my robe so I could take the call. "Jake who is it?" I yelled finally donning my robe.

He didn't answer but I heard him reply to whoever was on the phone and then hang up. I ran down the steps and bumped into to Jacob who was walking back up. "Jake who was that?"

Instead of replying he cupped my face and kissed me till I forgot to be mad at him for answering the phone and hanging up on whoever it was. I was on the steps above him so we were the same height. He crushed my body to his, fingers knotting at the small of my back. He kissed me so fiercely the intensity made me afraid.

I pulled back to look in his eyes "Jacob what's wrong?" I queried breathlessly.

But he didn't answer. He captured my lips with his mouth and plundered my mouth with his tongue till I was quaking with need. His hands knotted in my hair. He pulled back. "You're mine." He growled and kissed me again.

I was so lost in his touch, the fever of his skin stoking heat in mine. I was flushed with heat and desire.

"You're. Mine," he groaned against my lips. He slid his hand between my legs. "This is mine." His fingers circled and I pressed against palm, relishing the friction, and moaned. "Do you hear me Bella?"

"Yes." I moaned, more in answer to what he was doing to his fingers than what he was asking. The need to clarify lost in a haze of desire.

With heavy lidded eyes he slowly slid his fingers out of me, put them in his mouth and then sucked. "Mine." He said huskily.

"Yes," I whimpered feebly.

"I have to go."

"No." I pled softly.

He smiled. "I'll see you soon."

"Soon." Single word responses were all my brain could muster.

He drew my arms from his shoulders, kissed me again and was gone.

I felt so wrung out. I sat on the steps and tried to reassemble my thoughts. But all I could think about was Jacob. I knew I needed to get up and take a shower but I wanted to relish the feel of him, traces of him all over my skin.

I smiled down at my hands and realized that I felt happy. Not the shallow kind that doesn't reach the eyes but a deep seated happiness that reached into my belly and made me want to laugh. So I did and it felt good. I giggled at the impossibility of this moment; me sitting on the steps in the middle of the day, disheveled and mooning over Jacob. I knew it was completely ridiculous and I didn't care.

"Bella?"

My head snapped up at the sound of her silver belled voice. "Alice! Hi!" I said stupidly.

"What happened?" She asked panic in her tone. Her eyes roaming over me and I wondered how I looked, all wild eyed and bed haired.

"It's fine. I'm fine." I said standing, trying to smooth my hair. I pulled my robe tighter and tried to project and air of nonchalance.

"Where are you hurt? I smell blood."

I blushed as I remembered the sharp pain of Jacob taking my virginity and blushed again thinking about all the pleasure that followed

"Honestly Bella. I stayed away for as long as you were out of my vision because I knew your little wolf man was here. But then I saw you again and you were on the steps looking like a lost puppy and when I get here you're bleeding?" She said accusingly. "What did he do to you? I told you young werewolves were volatile Bella." She grabbed my hand and pushed the sleeve of my robe up searching for the bruise.

"What happened? How did you get hurt? Thank God I went hunting while I was out." She asked searching for a bruise she wouldn't find.

I snatched my hand away embarrassed. "I need to take a shower. Be right back." I said hurriedly as I scrambled up the steps desperate to make an escape. I ran into my room, snatched the blankets off my bed and threw them in the wash. My heart was racing. I felt so guilty. I hadn't done anything wrong. I wasn't with Edward anymore but how would Alice feel if she knew I had been intimate with Jacob. I wanted to just sit on the couch with her and spill my guts. I wanted to tell her about all the confusing feelings that were rattling around in my head. But as much I wanted my friendship with her to trump her loyalty as Edwards sister, I really wasn't sure if that's how things would play out.

I took a few deep breathes and tried to calm my nerves. I rummaged in my closet for some clothes, grabbed my shower caddy then got into the shower. By the time I'd showered and dressed I was much calmer. I skipped down the steps searching for Alice.

She was sitting on the couch arms crossed. She nodded to the seat next to her and I sat. "Sorry for freaking out. It's just… something happened." I struggled to find the words and when nothing more eloquent would come to mind I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Bella what's going on?" she asked clearly agitated.

I looked down at the floor. Not trusting that I could look in her eyes and keep from telling her everything.

Her tone softened and she took my hands in hers. "Bella if you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I was just worried. I thought something had happened to you. I thought he'd hurt you."

"No, No," I said emphatically. "Jacob would never hurt me. I'm fine. I swear." I squeezed her hands. "I want to tell you. I just don't want you to be mad at me."

"Bella, why would I be angry with you? You're like a sister to me and I care for you deeply." She asked, her face etched with concern.

"It's about Jacob." I said searching her eyes for how she might react to what I was about to confess. She sat and waited for me to continue.

"He and I," I cleared my throat. "He and I were intimate." I whispered

"Oh!" She exclaimed, surprise coloring her voice. "You love him don't you?" She asked softly, eyes searching mine.

"I don't know," I whispered.

Alice's eye got that a faraway look she got when her gaze began sweeping over images in a distant future. After a long silence she blinked and looked at me.

Her eyes were sad. "I think you do know Bella," She sighed. "I think you do."