Chapter 18: Can't have him

Clous, Jayden and Dayya dropped Afia off with her mother and father who had just finished a patrol of the lands together. Kiara seemed grateful when Clous reported about the bath Afia got. Then the three of them went to the large sunning rocks on the side of Pride Rock to hang out. Mebala, Taeliss, Nundi and Zula were there. The adolescents were talking, Nundi was looking bored, and Zula was resting with her eyes closed. When they approached, Zula perked her head up.

"Hey!" she cheerfully greeted them. Mebala and Taeliss stopped their conversation to say hello too. Everyone settled down either on the rocks or the dirt that surrounded them. They all got to talking about one thing or another.

Clous asked Zula, "Where's Zuna?"

"Um… she's out on a walk with my mother, I think."

Clous only nodded, and they went back to talking normally.

A little later, Zuna did join them, along with Ciara, Kivu and even Ahila. Jayden kind of wanted to see more of what the light peach adolescent was like. The only time they had been around each other was when they met in the gorge. The diverse group didn't stay together long. Some dispersed for one reason or another, including Ahila, so Jayden didn't get much of a chance to talk to or listen to her. She only said a few things to Taeliss and Mebala and that was it.

The day passed quickly and nighttime approached. Jayden's heart began to beat faster -as it had done many times over the past few days-as she thought about meeting dark I'll go to the spot again tonight. she decided.

When everyone was heading to bed, she trotted over to the other side of Pride Rock and went to the standing rock. Dark wasn't there yet, but she had a feeling he was coming. She lowered herself in the grass and let it cover her. It wouldn't cover her completely, but it was just enough for er to be hidden. She tried not to giggle. I feel like a kid again.

She didn't wait long before a black shape moved toward her. She planned to jump out and scared him just as soon as he walked a couple more paces…

"I can see you there!" A confidant voice rang out.

Jayden groaned and stood up. "Ugh! The grass wasn't long enough."

"Don't blame the grass." Dark joked. Jayden smiled.

"You'll never guess what I did today." she said.

He sat. "What?"

"Something I've never done before. I gave a cub a bath!"

"Afia? Gah, how can you stand her?" Dark cringed.

"She's alright. She's very cute."

"Well I don't see it. She's a handful, no wonder Kiara and Kovu have Kivu or Clous babysit her so much."

"Don't be mean!" Jayden said playfully.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Why were you so excited about bathing a cub?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess it was kind of nice." She lowered her head, unable to describe why.

"If you're so into bathing, you can bathe my paw if you want." Dark said, "I think I might have stepped in a gazelle pie earlier today."

"Ew no!"

"Aw come on," he dropped to his belly and presented his paw, "Come on, you're my friend aren't you?"

She laughed, "I'm not doing that."

He pretended to be hurt, "Fine, I'll remember that. I'll remember how unhelpful you are."

"I am helpful. I'm helping you watch out for a shooting star, remember?"

"Oh yeah, thanks, maybe we'll spot one tonight."

"It could be a lucky night." she agreed, settling in the grass too. The two looked at the stars but still talked. Dark said he had gone on a walk with his mother and Zuna earlier. He said it was very nice and relaxing. He also confessed he was a little afraid of losing Sanu. She was an older lioness and mortality weighs heavy on one's mind when age advances. She showed signs of her aging on their walk when Sanu needed to stop suddenly. She had reported her joints were hurting, and that's when Dark noticed the wrinkles around her eyes, and skinniness in her shoulders.

Jayden hiped and prayed with all her soul tha tSanu still had a long life a head of her because it would be so hard, too hard on Dark if he lost her. He had already lost so much. Dark didn't dwell on the topic, he moved on to something else.

The two talked for a long time. At some point moving into laying positions on their backs. Eventually they got silent and just watched the stars.

This is just like when we were cubs. Jayden thought. Though we aren't laying super close to each other. She looked at the space between them: enough for one more lion there. She wanted to move closer but she was afraid. What would he say or do? If he didn't like it, could she play it off like it was an accident? No way. She looked back to the stars. The night around her was quiet. The air was still. It was a warm night and she felt extra cozy and warm inside and out.

This would be perfect if Dark and I… She glanced at him. Dark was still laying on his back, paws resting on his cheat. His eyes were closed and he breathed deeply.

She hesitated, then whispered, "You awake?"

She got no response. Before she could stop herself, she scooted closer to the black lion, moving from her back to her belly. She waited to see if the movement would wake him, but it didn't. Her heart pounded as she lifted her paw. Slowly she moved her paw towards Dark's and softly touched the back with her pawpad. Her eyes darted to his to see if they'd open. He was still asleep.

She felt her heart melt as she relaxed her paw on top of his. His paw is so big. I love his paws, and everything about him. She became sad as she remembered how they couldn't be together, tears started welling in her eyes. Never. She pulled her paw away and stood.

The quick movement and sound of rustling grass woke Dark. "Oh, I must have fallen asleep." He said, moving to his belly and using the paw Jayden touched to rub his eyes.

Jayden quickly turned away so he wouldn't see her face. "Yep, so I guess that means it's off to bed!" she said, and added, "Goodnight!" and trotted off.

Dark watched her go, "Goodnight."

When Jayden got in the cave, she found her usual spot by Zula. She noticed Dayya was sleeping next to Zula on the other side.

Jayden tried to settle quietly by Zula, but the movement woke her up.

"Jayden?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You've been moving around in your sleep the past few nights."

"Yeah, I'm sorry to wake you. I haven't really been sleeping well. But it's okay, I'll keep trying."

Zula nodded and put her gray head back in her paws. Jayden lowered hers too and closed her eyes. She had so many crazy emotions inside her, but it didn't take quite as long as usual to fall asleep.

The morning seemed to come way too early. Jayden felt Zula stand beside her and heard lots of yawns and movement. She went ahead and got up too, though she only figured she'd gotten four or five hours of sleep. Zula noticed how tired she looked.

"Did you get enough sleep?"

"Well, I still feel tired, but I'm okay."

"How long have you been unable to sleep at night?"

Suddenly Dayya who had just gotten up too burst in, "You don't sleep at night?" she asked Jayden.

Jayden felt annoyed. "I do, just not well at first." she said, wanting to drop the subject. Dayya opened her mouth to say something when a hard voice came form the entrance of the cave.

"Well if you're not tired at night then it's clear you're not doing enough during the day." It was Vitani. She walked over to them and frowned at Jayden. "From now on, you will partake in the hunt everyday. That should ensure you have something to do with your free time other than be lazy. I'll be sure to tell Kiara, she will be more than happy to oblige. You start today, we'll be leaving in an hour." she said, then dismissed herself. She moved near the back of the cave to find Kiara and Kovu.

Jayden glared at her mother's back, rising her lips in a silent snarl. She almost muttered a word under her breath, but managed to keep it in.

"Woah." Zula said.

Jayden growled a little when Vitani was completely out of sight, "I don't know why she's so hard on me." she almost spat.

"She just wants you to do better." Dayya said. Jayden looked at her with a glare.

"So you're saying I'm lazy too?" she snapped.

"No. Well… Mother isn't wrong." Dayya said. Jayden glared at her more. "Joining the hunting team everyday will be good for you." she moved to exit the cave. Jayden wanted to claw her face. She managed to keep her mouth shut and claws down, though they raked the stone floor of the cave.

"Woah again." Zula said.

"What's with them? Just because I can't sleep means I'm lazy?"

"Of course not. Maybe you're mom wants to motivate you."

"She just wants me to be like Dayya. And what about her? What is she trying to do for me? She's always acting like she's better than me, but she's not." She fumed.

"I don't know what's up with her. Dayya just says stuff sometimes just to agree with whoever last spoke." Zula said, placing a paw on her friend's arm. "Just ignore her."

"They make me so mad sometimes."

"Use that anger on the field." Zula suggested. "That'll show them."

"I will. I want to see their faces when I catch our meal."

"That's the spirit!" Zula smiled. In spite of her anger, Jayden smiled too. Zula was really good at making her feel better.

"After the hunt, let's go sit on the rocks behind Pride Rock." Jayden suggested.

"Rocks?"

"Well, it's a cliff. What's left of it anyway. It's where Dark, Clous and Malowa used to play. Remember when that rock fell on Clous? It's right above there."

"Oh yeah. Well we can go as long as we don't do any 'rock sliding.'" The girls headed outside. Jayden was going to stretch her legs to prepare for the up coming hunt when she saw Dayya and Dark at the bottom of Pride Rock's steps. She was nuzzling him under the chin. Jayden's heart stopped and she turned her eyes away.

"Dayya still has a thing for my brother, I guess." Zula said, quickly moving down the steps. "Quit that, you two love birds!" she shouted. Dayya giggled, and Dark looked embarrassed.

Jayden sure would have a lot of anger to use on the field.

The hunt went really well, and like Jayden predicted, she caught the meal nearly all by herself. The team had snuck up on some African Buffalo, but Jayden was the one to take one down. It was a smaller buffalo than the others, but only slightly. Vitani seemed slightly impressed, though she didn't say so. She only nodded at Jayden. The brown lioness still felt mad at her mother. She had to work a lot harder to gain Vitani's approval and to her it seemed like it was easier for Tempest and Dayya.

After lunch as planned, Jayden and Zula met on the cliff on the back of Pride Rock. This is the same place where Scar used to relax many years ago. The girls didn't know it, but they lay exactly where he did and dangled their arms over the side.

The cliff used to be a lot bigger, but age had crumbled it.

"That's where they'd rock slide." Jayden pointed with her paw. "Clous was almost seriously hurt."

"Mhm." Zula said, not sounding interested. Jayden tried to talk about a few other things. She was in a better mood since she caught that buffalo, but Zula seemed distracted and didn't respond as she normally did. Something was wrong.

"Are you okay? You seem distracted." Jayden asked.

"Oh. I guess you noticed. I was trying to be normal… um well."

"You can tell me."

"Um. I like someone. But I can't have them."

Jayden almost leaped up. What?! Her too?

"Who is it?"

"You won't tell?" her red-orange eyes turned on her.

"Of course not. We're best friends." Jayden smiled.

"It's... Clous."

"Clous? No way."

"Yes… ever since we were cubs. And okay… I don't just like him. I love him."

"Oh no…" Jayden was concerned.

"Yeah, I know. He's in love with my sister, and they're gonna live happily every after and have a cub someday, and it will be super cute and perfect, but won't be mine."

"Wow. I never knew you felt this way."

"I've never told anyone."

"Well I knew both of you liked him when you were cubs, but I didn't know… now…"

"Yeah, he chose her over me." She looked at her paws and laughed darkly, "Of course he did. I'm ugly."

"Don't be absurd! You and Zuna are identical. Except your eyes. And…" Jayden trailed off.

"Yeah! And my fur. It's rough and her's is perfectly smooth. Mine is ugly, I've tried licking it flat but it still sticks up."

"Come on, you're not ugly. Nothings wrong with your fur, mines the exact same way. I barely notice it."

Zula looked at Jayden and saw this to be true.

"Do you think I'm ugly cuz of my fur?" Jayden asked.

"No, you're beautiful."

"Well then come on, you're not ugly."

"So there's something wrong with my personality. That's worse." Zula sighed.

"Not that either!" Jayden said. "You're fun and hilarious." Zula didn't seem convinced so she continued, "I dunno why he didn't choose you anyway. Zuna is cool, but she seems so boring. There's a reason why you and I are friends and not her and I."

"She's mature, that's what it is." Zula said. Jayden pictured the other twin. Zuna did have an air of maturity about her. Like Ciara.

"Well then he likes her cuz she's the opposite of him. Clous is immature, so it's natural he'd like Zuna. Opposites attract and all that!"

"Hm!" Zula said, amused. "You think that's it?"

"It's gotta be."

The gray lioness smiled, then sighed again. Jayden felt bad for her. She knew exactly how she felt. She, too was in love with someone she couldn't have because of her own sister.

Though Dark and Dayya aren't exactly a couple like Clous and Zuna are.

"So you've never thought about telling him?" Jayden asked. "It might ease your mind."

"No way." she replied. "I don't want to intrude in their perfect fairy tale love story. Besides, it would just be awkward with them both from here on out. Forever. I wouldn't want that. I'll just wait till my feelings eventually go away."

"They won't." Jayden blurted, then realized what she said, "I mean it seems like a hard thing to get over since you've loved him so long." She recovered.

"Yeah it's especially hard to see them together, all lovey dovey. It tears me up inside." she said with a twinge of anger.

Tell me about it. Jayden thought. Suddenly an image came to her mind. A few days ago, Zula and Jayden had been hanging out with a few of their friends. Clous an dZuna were there talking quietly and lovingly. Maybe they were nuzzling or cuddling. Ciara and Kivu had been there too. Jayden looked over at Zula who had put her head in her paw to sleep and saw what she thought at the time was a raindrop on her cheek. It had just begun to sprinkle.

It wasn't a raindrop after all. Zula's really hurt by this. She might even feel worse than I do…

Jayden patted Zula's paw. "There are other boys." she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Who, Nundi? He's the only other boy my age. She said dryly.

"Malowa!" Jayden teased.

"So not my type!" Zula said, lightening up a little.

"Come on, he's not so bad. You two would make a great couple."

"He sure would keep me entertained with all his talking." Zula played along.

Jayden laughed, "You would have a cute cub! He'd be some creamy peach-gray color. A very attractive color."

"Sounds ugly." Zula said.

Jayden cracked up.

"Oh and don't say he's have a mix of my red-orange eyes and his teal one, cuz you know what color that makes?" she said, "Poop. Yes, poop brown."

Jayden couldn't stop laughing and it made Zula smile.

"No! You really would be perfect for Nundi though!" Jayden said after she regained herself. "If opposites attract, then only you could be with him, cuz you're so funny and lively, and he's so dull. Maybe you could brighten him up."

Zula laughed, "That would be hard but I would feel so accomplished. Hey do you think your mother would be proud of me if I changed him?" she took on a look of eagarness to tease Jayden. "Since it's clear she takes pride in everyone but you."

Jayden swatted Zula. "Hushh! I'll have you know that I got a nod out of her today."

Zula gasped.

"Yep. Like this." Jayden stood and mimicked a classic Vitani face: narrowed eyes, frowning lips. She nodded exaggeratedly and stiffly. Zula burst into laugher.

Jayden smiled. I hope I've made her feel better. IT was really nice of her to confide in me. I wonder if I should tell her about my feelings for Dark? We are best friends. But he's her brother. I can't tell her that I'm in love with her brother, that would be too weird. What if she told him? Or let it slip to Zuna, or what if Dayya found out? Then the whole Pride would know in a matter of minutes. No I can't tell her or anyone.

Jayden was just about to sit down again when Kiara suddenly jumped out, rushing over to them.

"Kiara, what's the matter?" Jayden asked, startled.

The orange queen moved her head from side to side frantically. She looked over the crumbled edge. "Have either of you two seen Afia? Has she been here? She's heard that stupid sliding story from her brother."

"No, we haven't seen her." Zula said, standing.

"She's not with Clous? Or Kivu?" Jayden asked.

"No!" The queen looked scared. "She was with me last. We were in the cave. I fell asleep and when I woke up, she was gone. I'm so irresponsible!"

"No you're not, come on, let's go look for her together." Jayden said to her aunt, and the three of them quickly went around to the front of Pride Rock.

"I've already searched the den." Kiara said, then they rushed down the steps. Kovu was at the bottom and rushed up to them.

"She wasn't on the cliffs?" he asked frantically.

"No!"

"Alright, I'll gather some lionesses and go toward the East border. You girls, can you run to the water hole to check?"

"Yes of course." Jayden said, and Zula nodded. They ran off quickly while Kovu and Kiara ran in the other direction.