Cyborg had finished the pizza and gone to bed. Brave stayed by the campfire, occasionally tossing in sticks and making the flames dance. Rage simmered in a corner of the courtyard. Timid had vanished.
And Raven stayed on the bench beside Wisdom, who seemed reluctant to talk now that she could no longer trust herself. Beast Boy was stretched out on the ground nearby, hands behind his head, admiring the stars. "You make a good sky," he said.
"Thanks," Raven mumbled.
"Are we going to get a sunrise too?"
"For a little while. After the sun comes up the sky will turn cloudy again." Raven sighed. "Assuming it works like it's supposed to. Nothing else is."
Beast Boy tilted his head to the side and looked over at Raven. "Can't Brave have some pizza? Sure it had pepperoni on it, but if I got a good vegetarian deep dish, no cheese –"
It's not the pizza," Raven said. "Brave is .. Brave is Brave. She's supposed to be the focus and container for that aspect of my emotions. She's not supposed to be sitting around with you and Cyborg eating and talking about Doritos. That's not her job."
Beast Boy made a face. "Dude... container?"
"That's what they do! They contain my emotions, they help me control my powers! And if Brave is feeling lazy and Joy is feeling sad – what am I going to do?" And Raven added, her voice so low Beast Boy almost didn't catch the words, "I'm dangerous..."
After a minute Beast Boy said, "You shouldn't talk about them like that."
Wisdom's cloak rustled. "She shouldn't talk about herself like that." Beast Boy and Raven both started; she had been sitting so quietly they had forgotten she was there. "I am not sure I am wise. But I know that autonomous as we may be, we are still part of you. And there is no part of you that deserves to be thought of as merely a container."
Raven bowed her head, accepting the reproof. "You're right. I'm sorry. I will say guardian, then, or protector. But it doesn't answer the question – what happens when you can't protect me from my emotions?"
"Maybe you don't need protecting," Beast Boy said, looking back at the stars.
"Fine, and if you're wrong?" Raven leaned back on the bench and dug her heels into the grass, kicking up dirt. "What if I kill Doctor Light or let the Titans down or hurt somebody or destroy the -"
"You already did that," Beast Boy said lightly, trying for humor.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Raven yelled. The corner of the courtyard where Rage had settled flickered a viscous red, and the ground rumbled under Beast Boy's back. Raven sniffed and swiped at her face with the back of her hand, trying to settle down, and whispered, "It's not funny..."
Beast Boy stood up and went to the bench, sitting at Raven's feet. "I know. I shouldn't have joked."
"It's just that … I think about what I did, all the time."
Raven's hood had slipped off when she shouted and Beast Boy could see her eyes, wide and tormented, starlight reflecting, looking down at him. "I know."
Closing her eyes, Raven started rocking, beating her fists on the bench in time with her words as she continued, "And I am so, so, so scared that I am going to do it again...."
Beast Boy grabbed her hand, not at all surprised when she pulled away. At least she's not hitting the bench. "You won't. We'll fix it. It'll be okay."
Raven took a long, shuddering breath. "How do you know?"
"How do you not know?" She didn't answer. "We'll just do what Patience said – we'll find the thing that was restored or whatever. We'll put everything back together." Beast Boy leaned back and nudged Wisdom's foot. "Right, Wiz?"
Wisdom's giggle was odd enough, but her laugh was completely unexpected. It was such a sweet, warm sound that Beast Boy grinned at her foolishly. "Wiz?"
"Well, you do have a brain, and maybe a heart..."
Raven stood up, raised her hood, and spoke with most of the old snap in her voice. "Please do not flirt with my Sides." She waved a hand at the air and the sky noticeably lightened, pink and blue streaks appearing in the sky at the east end of the courtyard. Turning away, she said, "I'm going to find Timid, and get Rage and Rude. You get Cyborg. We should go."
A/N: Emma, thank you, I continue. :- EX3541, I usually write at the end of a long day of work, so I usually can't do a lot at once. I aim for frequent updates, because I know they tend to be short. Sorry about that. Kaarlinaa you have your wish. :-
