DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Twilight Saga or any of the characters. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

I am writing this story for fun and I will not seek any financial gain for it.

CHAPTER 11: TIMING IS EVERYTHING

I sat for a long while trying to figure out how to word my current dilemma. I tried to break it down in its simplest form leaving out all the vampire and werewolf drama. Angela listened quietly as I emotionally vomited all over her kitchen. She never interrupted and waited patiently till I was done. "So that's the gist of what's going on." I said as I finished explaining.

She transferred the stir-fried chicken and veggies she'd just finished cooking into a large serving bowl then checked the timer on the rice cooker. Five more minutes till the rice was done. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and without looking at me she said, "You love very deeply."

I nodded to myself. "Bella how old are you?" Angela asked as she pulled up a seat next to me.

"Seventeen." I replied not really seeing where she was going.

"I saw how you were when Edward left. I know you loved him and the way you talk about Jacob I can tell that you have strong feeling for him too. You're stressed out because you feel like you have to choose one or the other." She moved her hands up and down like a balancing scale then folded her hands in her lap. "But the world won't end if you choose one or the other. It won't end if you choose neither." She shrugged.

A small shock went through me at her words. Neither? I had never even considered the possibility.

She continued. "Sometimes we are too close to the situation and we don't see there are other options. You're only seventeen. You have years and years to figure out who you want to give your heart too. Maybe it will be one of them but perhaps the timing just isn't right. Give yourself a chance to get some perspective. Date other people or don't date at all for a while. Go out. Have fun. Give it time. You're only seventeen. You're a deeply loyal person and you don't want to hurt either one of them but what about you? You deserve to be happy too. "

"You're right." I murmured as the truth of her words sunk in. The timer on the rice cooker dinged. Angela gave my hand a reassuring squeeze then hopped up and started making plates.

"Dinner's ready." Angela called and her brothers tumbled into the kitchen.

I mulled over her words as we sat around the table and ate. Everything she'd said had made sense. The thought of just stepping back for a while and not feeling the pressure of being in a relationship was tempting. I thought about timing. Right now Victoria was out there hunting me and I was all worked up over relationship issues. I was grateful beyond words to both Jacob and Edward for risking their lives to keep me safe. Maybe once things were resolved with Victoria I could see my way a little bit clearer. But the stress of worrying over her and worrying over whether or not I was going to hurt Jacob or disappoint Edward was really too much. I needed them both right now and staying alive and keeping my dad safe was the most important thing. I sipped the last of my lemonade and resolved that I would talk to Edward and Jacob. I smiled at Angela as I helped her clear the table.

"Thanks… for everything. I really needed this today."

"We should hang out more often."

"We will." I promised.

We'd just finished up with the dishes when her mom came home. The twins rushed her, talking excitedly about the roller coaster we'd finished and things that had happened at school. Angela's mom was of middling height, fair skinned and athletic build. She was an avid runner. There was a small section on the living room wall that held pictures of her crossing the finish line at various marathons along with a few medals and plaques. Her wavy, shoulder length hair was parted down the middle and spilled across her face as she bent her head to listen to her boys. She smiled up at me as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hey mom. This is Bella, Chief Swan's daughter." Angela said.

"Oh yes. Hello sweet Bella. Angela's told me so much about you. So nice to meet you." She gave me a brief hug then stepped back and looked at me.

"My you are a lovely girl. You look just like your mother."

"Thank you." I blushed slightly. "You knew my mom?"

"Yes we volunteered at the food pantry together when she first moved here. I wonder if she even remembers me." She laughed. "Tell her Amy Weber said hello."

"I will."

She nodded and turned her attention back to the boys who were still chattering away. Her eyes were tired but she listened to them attentively as if everything they said was the most important thing. She took a seat at the table and Angela brought her a plate.

"Thank you dear." She kissed Angela's cheek and I excused myself wanting to give them time as a family.

"I'm going to head home. Thanks for having me over." I said to Angela then to her mother, "Nice to meet you Mrs. Weber."

"Nice to meet you too dear. You're welcome anytime."

I smiled at her and headed for the door. Angela followed behind. I hugged her. "Thanks again."

"No problem."

"Hey is this yours?" Isaac came barreling down the hallway and stopped short of crashing into me by inches. He held up the small, red suede journal I'd found at the library. I'd totally forgotten I had it. I reached into the pocket of my parka where I had put it all those days ago and found that the pocket was ripped through.

"Yea. Thanks Isaac." I ruffled his hair then took the journal and slipped it into my backpack.

It was a little after seven when I got home. Charlie was lightly snoozing in the recliner with the TV tuned to ESPN. I tried to be quiet but my backpack thumped the lamp on the end table and he startled awake.

"Sorry Dad." I murmured sheepishly as I picked the lamp up off the floor.

"It's alright." He stretched and scrubbed a hand over his face. "How was your day?"

"Good." I said thinking of my time at Angela's. I kicked off my boots and shrugged out of my parka.

"I'm going to email mom and then head to bed." I peered into the kitchen before heading up the stairs. "I'll get the dishes in the morning."

"I'll get'em." He grumbled as he settled back into his recliner. "I was washing dishes before you were born."

"Ok dad." I said laughing to myself because I knew those dishes would still be in the sink come morning.

Once in my room I turned on my computer and pulled the journal out my back pack. I thumbed through it as I waited for my computer to boot up. The pages were filled with a neat slanting script. The writing was tiny as if the person writing didn't want to waste any space and needed to fit as much as possible on each page. I couldn't understand any of what was written but some of the pages held drawings. Some of them were hastily sketched renderings of flowers or herbs. There were a few pictures of people. The faces weren't drawn in any great detail but the things they were wearing were. There was a man wearing a large headdress that looked like a wolf, a young lady wearing a necklace that looked to be made out of shells, feathers and polished stones, and an elderly woman with a patterned shawl. Each illustration had a few words written beneath it.

My computer finally hummed to life. I set the journal aside and opened my email so I could write a message to my mom. I made sure to make mention of Angela's mom saying hello. After I hit send I idly surfed the internet for way too long and then hopped up to take a shower. My thoughts kept drifting between my conversation with Angela and the journal. How was I going to broach the subject of putting things on hold with Jacob and distancing myself from Edward? Who did the journal belong to and why did I feel it was so important to keep it safe. Around and around my thoughts flew.

I finished drying my hair then went and slipped the journal under my pillow. I didn't really have a reason other than I felt like I should keep it hidden. I lay down and tried to slow my racing thoughts but to no avail. I reached over and pressed play on my cd player and the haunting melodies of Florence and the Machine flooded my ears. I breathed deeply and let the melodies wash over me. It wasn't long before I felt myself begin to fade out of consciousness and into a dream.

I stood in the middle of the woods and it was nearing sundown. The sky was streaked with purple and blood orange clouds and the light was fading fast. I glanced around at the surrounding trees trying to get my bearings but this part of the wood was not known to me. Something about this place felt familiar but still off somehow. I turned about in a circle and stopped when I felt something pulling me eastward, an urge nudging me toward what, I was not sure. I took a step in that direction and the urge became stronger. I took another step and another in that direction. My pace quickened until I was running with a frenzied sense of urgency. It was nearly dark now and I was still in the middle of the woods. I needed to get to safety. I needed to get out of woods before full dark fell.

There was slight break in trees up ahead and I caught a glimpse the lighted windows of a cabin. I ran harder trying to reach that light before the sun fell beyond the horizon. I broke through the trees and into a small clearing. The cabin was situated on the other side of the clearing just short of the tree line. The soft glow of fire light spilled from the windows. I ran for the door not sure who or what might be inside but I didn't care so long as I got out of the dark. I wrenched the door open and slammed it behind me. A sense of safety and homecoming seemed to wrap around me as soon as the door closed. I leaned against the door and slid to the floor, trying to get my breathing under control.

"Hello. Is anybody home?" I said a bit breathlessly as I stood to survey my surroundings. No one answered. "Hello. Is there anybody here?" I called out again. But only the sound of a crackling fire greeted me. I thought that it should feel odd to be in someone else's home when they weren't there but I didn't. How strange. Why does this place feel so familiar?

I took off my jacket and hung it up on one of the coat hooks that were just to the right of the door then stepped out of my boots and set them on the shoe rack that sat beneath it. I frowned when I saw another pair of my shoes already ensconced on the rack along with a few pairs that obviously belong to a man; a pair of worn hiking boots and a few pairs of running shoes. I shook my head and then turned back to the room.

Directly to my right were stairs that I knew would take you to the singular but very large bedroom of the cabin. How did I know that? A large, plush couch sat just off the wall where the steps were and opposite the couch was a huge wood burning fire place. Walking through the living room took you to a very comfortable kitchen. It wasn't large but it had everything you would need to make a nice meal. A rustic solid wood table sat in the middle of the kitchen. Three chairs on each side.

I pulled up a seat and as soon as I sat down a buffet appeared on the table. I stared at the plates upon plates of food. There were platters of filet mignon, lobster, rack of lamb and Cornish hens. Bowls of mashed potatoes, green beans, corn on the cob and stuffing. There were cakes and pies and soufflés. There was enough food here to feed a small army. I idly wondered if this would seem like a snack to Jacob and his pack.

I was pulled out of my reverie as my stomach grumbled loudly. All at once I was famished. I felt as if I hadn't eaten in weeks and I would faint if I didn't eat that very moment. There was no silverware and no plates save the serving dishes, so I contented myself with eating with my hands. I shoveled food in my mouth trying to fill the gaping hole in my belly. I ate a bit of everything but nothing seemed to satisfy. I don't know how much time passed but eventually the clawing in my stomach eased and I began to actually taste the food I was throwing at my face.

I sipped a bit of water then reached for a small bowl of chocolate pudding I had not noticed before. I was not normally a fan of pudding but it seemed to be that one bite of this would finally plug the hole. I swirled a finger through it and placed a dollop on my tongue. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. Hand over hand I scooped it into my mouth. I emptied the bowl and proceeded to lick it clean. As the last bit left the bowl a shock went through me and the sweet taste of pudding transformed to what I can only describe as the salty metallic taste of squid ink. Yes that's exactly what it was. Just a few weeks ago Jacob and I had gone on a date and he'd ordered noodles with squid ink. I had tried it to be polite when he offered a bit but I didn't like it then and I didn't like it now, especially without the pasta to break up the taste. How in the world had I mistaken a bowl of squid ink for pudding? So much so that I licked the bowl clean!

I gagged and tried to rinse my mouth out with water but it didn't help. My stomach felt sour and sharp pains shot through my abdomen. I was feverish and I broke out in a cold sweat. My skin felt tight and my eyes felt gritty. My whole body ached as my muscles clenched against the pain. I fell to the floor, squeezed my eyes shut and curled into a ball praying that the pain would end soon. Somewhere in the night I heard a wolf howl. Without thinking I howled back.

I meant to post this chapter this weekend past but I got mono and slept like the dead for days.

I am still very tired but got up enough energy to finish this Chapter and post it today.

PM me or leave a review and let me know what you think.

I think this chapter is beautifully written but mono has got me feeling a bit loopy so I am not sure I trust my judgment right this moment. LOL Well that's enough out of me. Later gators!