Chapter 31: Why Her?
The walk home was quiet. Jayden wanted to say more to her sister, but it was like the words wouldn't come. She kept sneaking a peek at Dayya's face as they walked. She kept the same expression and demeanor. Eyes down, no emotion.
Even if she forgives me, she will still be sad… Jayden thought. I know I would be if our roles were reversed right now. I'd be a mess. She's much stronger than I.
Dayya broke the silence suddenly, "How did you find me?"
The brown lioness thought it was odd of her to ask about that, but she was relieved to talk about something else. "I'm not sure." She replied quietly. "I felt a pull toward you. It woke me from my sleep. I came almost directly to you without scenting or tracking."
"But I went so far…"
"Hm! Yes you did." Jayden said lightly. "My paws are sore! The only way I can think to explain the 'pull' is it's our bond. We're twins. Maybe it's crazy, but sometimes I think I can feel you. Your presence. I think I can tell what you're feeling sometimes." She paused.
Dayya thought quietly for a moment, then said, "I feel it too."
"You do?"
"Yes, like right now, you have a heavy deep feeling in your chest. It's a different feeling than the one in mine. And somehow I know it's yours. I know that's your guilt about what happened. And I can tell you're remorseful for hurting me.
Jayden's eyes widened a bit as she gazed at her sister. "Yes, exactly." She was stunned.
"That's why I'm trying really hard to be okay with this and why I'm forgiving you. I can genuinely see in you that you never intended to hurt me and you regret doing so. I know you care about me."
"Yes of course I do." Jayden nuzzled her shoulder as they walked. "I'm so glad you can tell all those things. I truly am sorry with the whole of my heart."
"I know." Dayya smiled. "Thank you for going so far to find me. A part of me wanted you to. I think I even sensed you coming."
"Maybe that's what called me to you. Well at least now we know if mother can't find you, I can!" Jayden joked
Dayya giggled. "It's hard to hide from her."
"Well you did it, she couldn't find you."
The rest of the way home was light and easy. The time went by quickly and the lionesses stepped into the Pride Lands with smiles.
Kovu must have seen them from Pride Rock, because he let out a roar call for Vitani to return, wherever she was. Jayden swallowed hard. Facing Vitani again was not something she was looking forward to.
The twins were nearing Pride Rock when they were met by their welcome home party. Tome, Koru, Tempest, and Mani (with Torrent in his paws) all stood waiting. Tome embraced his daughter and licked her cheek.
"Daddy!" Dayya exclaimed and he held her.
Tempest nuzzled her next. "We were so worried."
"I'm sorry to worry you…" Dayya said sheepishly.
Koru stepped up and swatted his sister on the arm. "I could have found you if I wanted to." He teased.
"Yeah right, you couldn't find your tail in the dark." Dayya said, swatting him back.
Mani greeted Dayya with a smile. Dayya went to him and leaned down to Torrent's eye level. He looked shy but tolerated a lick from his aunt.
Dark arrived, followed by Zuna and Zula.
"You're back!" Dark said to Jayden, and moved in like he would nuzzle her, but suddenly stopped. He turned to Dayya, who was looking at him with sorrowful eyes. Everyone was quiet and watching intently. Jayden wished this could have been done in a more private setting, but Dark didn't seem to mind. "I'm sorry, Dayya." He stood before the red lioness, looking her in the eye.
Tears formed in Dayya's yellow-green eyes. And when she spoke, her voice broke more than once, "I wish you would look at me the way you just looked at Jayden." She sighed. "But I know that's not going to happen. And I just have to accept that. And I will. It will just take me some time…" she looked at her paws.
"We understand that, Dayya." Dark said and very lightly touched her arm with his paw. Jayden moved to stand by Dark. What the red lioness said next surprised her.
"But do know that I support you." She looked Jayden in the eyes, then at Dark. "You make my sister happy. I can see how happy you are. And I feel it in Jayden. So you have my blessing."
Jayden's mouth flew open. "You mean it?!"
Dayya nodded with a small smile.
"Thank you!" Jayden couldn't hold herself back, she practically leaped at her sister and embraced her tightly. "I can't describe how important it is to me that you support us, that's so much more than I could have hoped to receive, thank you so much."
Dayya laughed and hugged her back. Jayden could hear some lionesses around them that had gathered saying aww or murmuring other things. When Jayden backed up, she realized how many others had gathered. Her cheeks felt hot with embarrassment, but at the same time, she was glad so many had heard what was said. They'd know there was no hard feelings between the sisters. There'd be much fewer whispers and talk of drama.
Jayden spotted Ahila and Drayden among the crowd watching. They both had tiny smiles and sad eyes.
"Just don't be getting all cuddly in front of me all the time." Dayya said playfully.
Jayden giggled and Dark smiled. "We won't."
For those who hadn't seen what happened, the news traveled fast. Every lion in the Pridelands knew what was going on between Dark and Jayden now. Jayden thought it would be awkward for everyone to know, but it actually wasn't. No one made a big fuss about it. When the two of them were together, the most they got was a look with a knowing smile attached, or maybe a raised eyebrow. They got one from Sanu –Dark's mother- a time or two, and Jayden just wanted to laugh.
When Vitani returned later that day, she nuzzled Dayya and the two of them talked. Jayden guessed, by the way Vitani hadn't confronted her, Dayya must have explained to their mother that she had forgiven Jayden and was going to try to accept her and Dark. After their discussion, Vitani went to the underside of Pride Rock to sleep, so Jayden didn't see her mother the rest of the day.
A hunting party went out that Jayden didn't join. She was glad to skip it again, since her paws were so sore from travelling. After lunch, Jayden, Dark, Zula, Taeliss and Mebala gathered at the sunning stones. All stretched out on or around them together. Jayden could feel Dark breathing beside her and his mane touching her shoulder. The sun felt so amazing on Jayden's fur. She couldn't imagine things being any more perfect.
"You two are a disgustingly cute couple." Mebala commented.
Jayden chuckled. "Thanks, I think."
"Now that Dark's off the market, there's even fewer lions to choose from!" Taeliss said with a fake pout.
"There's always Nundi." Zula suggested.
"Always." Jayden said.
"Nah, he's yours, remember?" Taeliss joked.
"Oh yeah."
The others laughed.
"Speaking of disgustingly cute couples," Dark said, nudging Jayden's shoulder. She giggled. "What's up with Clous and Zuna? I haven't seen them together as much as usual."
"They're still fighting about something." Zula reported. "I just don't know what. I guess I should talk to her."
"I hope they're okay." Mebala said.
"Yeah, what if they broke up?" Taeliss pondered.
"That'd be sad. They're so good together."
"I know."
Mebala and Taeliss kept on that topic. Jayden snuck a look at Zula. She had her eyes turned down at her paws. She still loved Clous. Did she wish they would break up? Would Clous even go for her if things didn't work out with her sister? Jayden wondered if Zula was still planning on telling Clous her feelings as she seemed determined to a couple days ago. Taeliss's next words brought Jayden and Zula from their respective thoughts.
"Well if you do find out what's going on, Zula, be sure to tell us."
"Oh, yeah, sure, I will." Zula said.
It wasn't long before the reason behind the pause in Zuna and Clous's relationship came to light. Zula, Dark and Jayden were at the bottom of Pride Rock that night. They had just decided to all sleep in Dark and Jayden's favorite spot in the grassy area on Pride Rock's side when Clous came bolting down the stone steps right into them.
"Woah." Jayden said.
Clous sniffed loudly. "Er, sorry." He muttered. He took a step back, and around them, keeping his head down.
"Clous, are you okay?" Zula asked the orange lion. She searched his face. His red mane was hiding his eyes and he purposely turned away.
"Fine." He replied. His voice sounded shaky and sad.
"Clous, look at me." Zula insisted. The urgency in her voice made the lion listen. His blue-green eyes met hers. Jayden could see huge tears falling from them freely. He sniffed again.
Zula only looked at him. Then said, "Come with me." Zula started padding to Pride Rocks side. When he didn't follow right away, she came back and nudged his shoulder roughly with his head as if to get him started. He followed then. Zula waved her tail at Dark and Jayden for them to follow too.
The four of them stopped in the grassy area. Dark and Jayden shared a quiet look while Clous and Zula sat across from each other. Clous wiped his eyes with his paw.
"What's wrong?" Zula asked gently.
"It's… Zuna…" he muttered.
"Um, should we go?" Dark asked them. He seemed uncomfortable.
"It's okay." Clous said. "I'm sure it's gotten around that Zuna and I are fighting."
"We have noticed the two of you aren't together as often…" Jayden said with sympathy.
"What's going on?" Zula asked. She touched her paw to his softly. "I hate to see you like this…" The pain in her voice was palpable.
Clous sighed, "I didn't mean to, but I gave her an ultimatum… I shouldn't have. Or should I? I just don't even know."
"An ultimatum on what?" The gray lioness asked.
"About the cubs. I've been asking Zuna for cubs but she says no. That's what we've been fighting about." Fresh tears fell from his eyes and he kept rubbing them with his paw and sniffling. Jayden searched Zula's face. Hearing the male she loved confess he wanted cubs with her sister must be excruciating. The scruffy gray lioness did look pained. She opened her mouth several times to speak, then just closed it again. Her eyes looked watery.
Clous went on. "We've been discussing it, and even when our discussions got heated, we still agreed to give it time and thought. But I'm tired of waiting! I just want to have cubs with her so bad!"
Zula'sface dropped further.
"So just a minute ago…" he looked down. "I-I put my paw down and said she needed to tell me we would have cubs someday, if not now, or we break up."
Jayden gasped quietly, knowing what Zuna's answer had been. No… then they've really broken up…
Clous sobbed quietly. Then Zula suddenly embraced him. She wrapped one of her arms around him and held him tight. Surprise shot through his eyes, but he didn't move.
Jayden could barely hear Zula whisper, "She's so blind. Not to see what a wonder lion she has. What a wonderful father you'd be. Any lioness would be more than happy to have your cubs."
"Zula…" Clous said quietly after a moment. She pulled back from his to look in his eyes and finish her thought.
"I know I would."
Jayden's heart was racing, so she wondered if Zula's felt like hers would burst from her chest. Clous only looked at her with surprise.
She went on. "I would. Really. I mean, you're brave, funny, reliable…and I love you, and I'd give you anything you wanted."
"You…?" Clous could only say the one word.
Zula closed her eyes and her tears fell. "Yes." She whispered. "For a long time."
He looked at her for a moment, then, "I'm sorry Zula…"
"I know, I know. You don't have to say it, I know you don't love me, I just—"
"Wait."
Zula's mouth stopped and her eyes went wide. "I do care about you." Clous said. "A lot. But it wouldn't be right for me to love both of you."
"You… do…?" Zula stammered. She fell silent for a moment. Then rose her head, "I… I well, I need to know… Why her? Why Zula? Why didn't you pick me?"
He paused, looking sadder. She noticed and retracted her question, "Never mind, that wasn't a nice thing for me to ask, especially right now." She chuckled nervously. "Forget it."
"No, you should know. It looks like it's been bothering you." Zula looked him in the eye and said nothing. As if to answer his question, a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I know it wouldn't be a fulfilling answer to say I'm not really sure why she was the one I ended up with, but that's the closest to the truth I think I can get. For you though, I'll try to go farther." He closed his eyes as if reflecting on her. "Maybe it was her smile. Or laugh. Or that dumb way she walks when her tail only swings one way but not the other." He chuckled. "Or when she eats, she picks the fur off the meat before eating it, saying it would get stuck in her teeth if she doesn't, without realizing she gets it in her teeth by doing that every single time. So then I try to make her smile to see it and make fun of her." He grinned with his eyes still closed. After a second he opened them and searched Zula's face.
Maybe he expected her to cry more, but instead, she smiled. "That's the most sickeningly cute thing I've ever heard."
Clous laughed. Jayden and Dark smiled too.
"I know." He said. "I'm sure there are adorable things about you too, Zula, but I think I ended up spending more time with Zuna and got to see hers. I don't think I consciously meant to pick her over you. It's just how it ended up…"
Zula sighed. "That makes me feel a little better. I thought something was wrong with me."
"No! No way!" he surprised her this time by giving her a hug. "Never think that."
Jayden could almost cry watching this. She could almost feel Zula's relief. All the things he was saying would surely help her.
Their embrace ended.
"I think you and Zuna shouldn't break up." Zula said, looking in his eyes. "Give her more time. I can see how much you love her. I know she loves you too." The gray lioness swallowed hard. Jayden wondered how hard it was for her to say this.
"I'll talk to her." He said.
"Right now. Go back in there and apologize for giving her an ultimatum, which by the way, you never do that!" she pretended to hit him on the arm.
He laughed. "Okay! Okay!" he paused. "You're going to be okay?" he asked her.
"I will be. I know now I can begin to heal since I got that off my chest."
"You're a strong lioness Zula. And I'm sorry again to have caused you so much pain."
Jayden spoke up, "Er, sorry Clous that Dark and I saw all this. It should have been a private conversation, we should have excused ourselves."
"I asked you to come." Zula said
"Yeah, it's no big deal to me. Big Mouth would have told you everything I said word-for-word anyway!"
"You turd!" Zula grinned.
"I'm happy for you, by the way." Clous said to Jayden. "You got the lion you always wanted, huh?" he winked.
Jayden blushed and nodded.
"He knows about that?" Dark murmured.
"Yep!" he answered for her, "And I'm sorry to you too, Dark. I didn't mean to hurt one of your sisters by dating the other." Then he turned to look at Zula, "I mean it."
She nodded solemnly at him. Dark replied by patting him on the shoulder with his paw.
"Go on now." Zula said. "Use the phrase, 'I'm a moron' a few times, okay? That'll work for sure."
"I'll try to remember that." He moved away heading toward Pride Rock's front side. He looked back for a moment. "Zula? Thanks for telling me what you did tonight." Then he was off. Jayden watched as Zula's eyes followed him til he was out of sight. Jayden moved closer to her.
The gray lioness locked eyes with her best friend. She looked horribly torn. "I…I love him even more now." She said and began to sob. Zula collapsed into Jayden's arms and cried. Dark moved in to pet his sister's back with his paw. The three of them stayed there quietly until her crying slowed, then stopped.
Jayden only slept when the broken lioness drifted off to sleep.