The change in their relationship was gradual and subtle. To the point where nothing had really changed.
They had been together for about a month and it wasn't exactly what most people would call obvious. There were no heavy make out sessions, constant whispers of loving words, passionate nights filled with lust and making love, in fact, they still slept in their respective bedrooms. But…There was the small things which Phil cherished, such as watching a film where Dan would end up with his head against Phil's chest and arms wrapped snugly around each other. Then there were the subtle things which Dan treasured most, like the way Phil would shyly intertwine their fingers and flash him a cheeky smile where his tongue appeared between his teeth causing Dan's heartbeat to pick up speed. But things never seemed to progress more than those small moments. Apart from the shit load of flirting they did behind closed doors, which they had done before they were together anyways, their relationship was pretty much at a standstill.
After months of confused feelings and seemingly unrequited affection, Phil had finally gotten what he wanted, yet...at the same time it almost felt like he hadn't. Sure it was obvious to anyone who saw those gestures that they were a more than just friends but he felt as if the relationship had a point that Dan wouldn't go past. For example, he was all up for holding hands and cuddling but if Phil got too close to his face or mentioned anything to do with loving him Dan would instantly close up and become distant until the next day. Phil began to wonder if there current coexistence was for his benefit rather than both of them. Phil found he was questioning himself constantly about whether he had somehow emotionally blackmailed Dan into being with him but apart from getting upset when he disappeared Phil couldn't think of a single thing for Dan initiating their current status…Unless he felt guilty? That would explain why Dan wouldn't even kiss him.
Whenever Phil asked Dan why he seemed so reserved he would just brush him off and claim Phil was either 'being ridiculous' or that he was 'just getting used to this'. Phil tried to push his thoughts to the back of his mind and believe him but he sensed there was an underlining problem the younger man wasn't sharing. He didn't want to call Dan a liar or anything, that would probably cause an argument, so he remained quiet.
"Dan do you ever do anything other than be lazy and spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet?" Phil joked, running a hand through his untamed hair as he went round cleaning the lounge of any misplaced items. It was the day before the landlords official inspection to determine whether or not they would be allowed to rent their current apartment for the next year and if he should charge them extra for any damages they had caused. Not that they had damaged the apartment...Nothing in view anyway.
"Yeah. I date you." Dan retorted throwing a smirk in Phil's direction from his internet browsing position. Phil rolled his eyes, biting his lip to prevent the oncoming smile.
"I meant anything that helps keep the apartment looking not like a dump. I ask you to help and you always either forget or just sit there. I bet you've even forgotten we're going out tonight."
"Should've been more specific then." Dan replied back sassily. "And I haven't forgotten, ye of little faith. I planned it. Or did YOU forget that?" he added
With another eye roll Phil continued moving things around and putting them back in their assigned area's. When done with the lounge he moved towards the kitchen which was relatively clean so he decided against bothering with it. He strolled through the apartment doing a mental checklist on where he 's cleaned today. His room, the bathroom and now the lounge. He stopped in his tracks when he walked past Dan's slightly open door and peeked into his room. He sighed, exasperatedly. Of course Dan's room looked like a bomb site.
"Hey Dan?!" Phil called to his boyfriend, watching as he unplugged an earphone and shouted back
"Yeah?!"
"Did you clean your room like I asked you to, ever so nicely, earlier?!" Phil interrogated whilst folding his arms and leaning against Dan's door frame.
"Er-Yeah! Of course I have!" Phil smirked as he watched Dan swiftly pulled the other earphone out and scramble up, making his way towards his room in what was probably an attempt to make his room half decent before Phil saw it. He stopped when he saw Phil grinning towards him at his doorway with raised eyebrows.
"I meant I was going to do it now?" Dan said, giving Phil a awkward grin as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Phil exhaled dramatically. Keeping his arms folded, he stepped away from the doorframe.
"Dan, You know the landlord is coming round to check the apartment tomorrow. If he see's your room like it is now he'll kick us out. Well, more specifically, you." He scolded
"Oh come on Phil, it's not that bad. He wouldn't kick me out over a bit of mess, he's not that cruel. Besides, it would affect you too. How would you possibly live without me?" Dan replied back flirting, moving closer towards Phil and brushing his hand against his bare arm, causing the older man to close his eyes at the touch and Dan grinned triumphantly.
"I'm sure I could manage not having to put up with your sarcastic attitude and lazy ways" Phil muttered back, turning his head away to hide the blush which was steadily gracing his face.
"You love me really" Dan replied offhandedly but froze immediately when he realised what he'd said. The atmosphere suddenly became tense as both men eyed each other warily at the mention of the 'L' word. Months ago this wouldn't have bothered either of them but under the current circumstances and recent events...Dan began to mumble an apology but Phil just held his hands up to cut him off.
"Forget it. Look you're obviously not going to do it anytime soon so...I'll clean your room" Dan's awkward expression morphed into one of surprise. He gazed at Phil's for a moment before replying
"Really?"
"Really, really." Phil repeated smiling slightly forcefully towards him. Dan scratched his head in thought before moving towards Phil, placing a hand on his shoulder and placing a swift kiss on his cheek before smiling gratefully , pulling back from him
"Thanks Phil, you're the best" Phil beamed at Dan's sudden affection and waited until Dan's retreating figure was out of sight until he gently pressed a hand to his heated cheek where Dan's lips had just been. He smiled happily to himself.
'Maybe everything is normal. Maybe our relationship is just a little on the slow side' Phil convinced himself and, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he ventured into the obstacle course that was Dan's room. He sighed upon seeing how bad Dan's room was from the inside. How did he even sleep in here? The bed was littered with junk and the floor was hardly visible from the sheer amount of clothes which were scattered over it. Phil huffed frustratedly before beginning to clear the junk on the bed first.
'Probably stuff for filming. He did use the camera earlier' Phil concluded as he started to return the assumed props back to where they usually lived. After about fifteen minutes, and nearly breaking his neck, he had managed to clear the bed and strip it bare. He dumped the dirty sheets outside the door and began to round up the clothes strewn across the room. He grinned noticing a few of his shirts were also among the mess. They borrowed clothes constantly even before they were together but there just seemed something more intimate and romantic about it now they were technically together. Ignoring the fuzzy feeling in his chest, he continued cleaning. He dumped all the articles of clothing outside the bedroom door on top of the sheets, creating a mountain of clothes. Phil knew he wasn't done so he called Dan to come and collect the clothes and, begrudgingly, he did.
Phil closed the door behind him as Dan collected the clothes and set to work on the papers he noticed were scattered in the corner of his room. He picked up the letters and random scraps of paper and started to sort them into piles listing them mentally in his head as he went along.
'fan mail, old bill, new bill, fan mail, BBC letter, fan mail, someone's number, business card, blank paper, fan mail, old bill...' Phil frowned. 'Wait. Someone's number?' He quickly placed the unsorted pile next to him and picked up the scrap of paper and blinked as he tried to make out the writing. He read what he could aloud
"Dear handsome, great time last-. -re's my number-. -guy's name. Kind of- gay thing." Phil's brow creased in confusion as he tried to make out anymore of the note but was unable to read the writing as the smudged ink prevented him. Phil hastily shoved the paper in his back pocket and, suddenly feeling uneasy, decided to just shove the papers into one of Dan's drawers. He then quickly proceeded to make Dan's room look presentable before smiling to himself and heading to the lounge to relax and ask Dan about the note.
Walking into the lounge he noticed Dan had, apart from to collect the clothes, not moved from his position and was quietly singing to himself
"You make me glow
but I cover up don't let it show
so I'm putting my defences up
cause I don't wanna fall in love
if I ever did that
I think I'd have a heart attack"
Phil almost laughed aloud at Dan's attempt to quietly sing such a high pitched song and settled for slipping hims arms around the younger's shoulders and rest his chin above his head. Dan tensed at the physical contact but rapidly relaxed into the backwards embrace.
"Anything interesting on Tumblr?" Phil muttered into Dans hair as he breathed in his scent and pulled dan's earphones out so he could hear him. Dan grinned and continued to scroll and re-blog his usual re-blog's.
"Nope. Just the usual fluffy animals, Phan theories and love confessions in my inbox from random people" He laughed, re-blogging some more animals. Phil's content smile was then exchanged for an anxious lip bite as he felt the paper, metaphorically, burning a hole in his pocket. He felt the need to ask Dan what it was again. He moved so his head was resting comfortably next to Dan's and had the perfect view to gauge his reactions.
"So I cleaned your room..." Phil began, watching as dan glanced gratefully towards him then frowned as Phil seemed like there was something else he wanted to say.
"Yeah..." Dan answered, gesturing for Phil to continue. Phil bit his lip once more before continuing
"And I came across something really weird." Dan's eyes widened and he pulled away from Phil, shutting his laptop and and springing up looking guilty.
"Shit..." He mumbled "Phil, I can explain I swear." Dan answered running a hand through his hair. Phil watched and waited for him to continue. Dan exhaled loudly
"Look they were just a present from Chris as a joke last year! I haven't watched any of them I swear! I just sort of shoved them under my bed and-"
"Dan. What the hell are you talking about?"
Phil cut him off looking even more confused than before which in turn reflected confusion from Dan's face as well.
"Erm the porn that's under...We're not talking about the same thing are we?" Dan concluded trailing off at Phil's poor attempt at biting back his laughter.
"I don't think we are" Phil finally managed to get out as he prevented himself laughing hysterically. Dan just stood there with his arms folded looking unamused until Phil had managed to calm down before questioning him
"So what ARE you talking about?" Phil sobered up pretty quickly and reached into his back pocket and pulled out the piece of paper, handing it to Dan
"This"
Dan paled immediately as his mind quickly went into overdrive to find an excuse to cover up his mistake of not getting rid of it. Luckily the note was barely readable from the amount of time he had spent handling the damned thing. Not in interest of calling her but of feeling guilty. He felt the constant need to remind himself of what he did every time he got closer to Phil. It was almost like a reminder of how much of a fuck up he was. But he planned on properly forgetting the whole ordeal tonight. He looked back up at Phil who was watching him intently before decidedly shrugging.
"No idea. Must have been from a fan or something that I accidentally kept." Dan lied smoothly, folding the paper and throwing it on the sofa casually, as if it wasn't important. However this did not deceive Phil who retrieved the note and opened it once more
"Dan it's hardly readable but I can tell that it's not from a fan. It even says that-" Phil had begun ranting, full of suspicion but was harshly cut off by Dan
"Phil look, I'm not sure what it is. You know our subscribers always manage to send us stuff. Are you that surprised that one of them left their number hoping I'd call them? It was probably from one of those letters I left in the corner" The suspicion in Phil eyes quickly faded out as he realised he did find it in between his fan mail.
"Or are you calling me a liar and a cheat?" 'Even though that's exactly what you are' a voice quietly reminded Dan in the back of his mind. 'Although you weren't even together at that point.' Another voice in Dan's mind argued.
"No! Dan I-" Phil quickly swallowed looking away from Dan sheepishly and muttered an apology.
"Sorry...I just thought...I don't know..." His gaze fell to his feet and he shuffled awkwardly. He couldn't believe he had practically accused Dan of seeing someone else.
'I'm such a horrible boyfriend' He told himself harshly. Little did he know Dan was telling himself the exact same thing.
Dan bit the inside of his cheek in thought before walking around the sofa and reaching out a hand to intertwine with Phil's. Their fingers linked and Dan squeezed gently in reassurance. Phil's guilty gaze locked with his own comforting one.
"It's fine Phil. Lets just forget it happened and get ready to have fun tonight" Dan replied smiling. Phil returned his smile and disconnected their fingers to slide his arms around Dan in a hug which Dan gradually reciprocated.
"What did I ever do to deserve someone as amazing as you?"
"I should be the one asking that" Dan answered, ignoring the aching pain swelling in his chest. Dan gave Phil a final squeeze and released him.
"Come on. We have reservations for seven, so we'd better get ready"
"Okay" Thoughtlessly placing the paper back in his jeans, both Phil and Dan return to their respective rooms to get ready for their night out.
…
An hour later
"Remind me why we're doing something so cheesy again?"
"I could remind you that this was your idea"
"I'd rather you didn't to be honest"
"Then shut up and order something" Dan groaned, scanning over his menu once more
"Pray tell Phillip, how I'm to order off a menu I cannot read?"
"The same way I am, Daniel" Phil grinned mischievously "By pointing at the pretty pictures and saying 'that one, please and thank you'" Dan smirked childishly back.
They were out celebrating both Phil hitting two million subscribers and the fact they had been officially together for a month (well a month and a bit). The meal at the restaurant had come at Dan's suggestion, much to Phil's surprise, but the older man welcomed the idea with open arms and allowed Dan to prepare the entire evening. He wasn't accustomed to Dan being this romantic or affectionate as he placed a hand casually over Phil's own, his eyes still glazing the menu he had been given. He made sure to throw Phil a wink which caused his cheeks to heat up and he hid his face behind his menu, curling his fingers around Dan's open hand. Eventually a waiter approached them
"Would the two handsome gentlemen like to order now?" He asked nodding to both Dan and Phil who nodded back. Throwing Dan a confident and smug look Phil ordered first
"Yes, I would like this please" He flipped his menu over and pointed to a picture of what looked like some sort of chicken dish. The waiter gave Phil a confused look before replying
"I'm sorry sir but, it clearly states on the front of the menu that all pictures in the menu's are merely for visual pleasure and not items which can be ordered" Phil's face began to burn as Dan bit his fist, trying to control the dire need to laugh his ass off. Phil awkwardly stuttered an apology as Dan decided to order for both of them.
"We'll just take the chef's special, thanks" The man nodded politely and excused himself. When the waiter had left Phil turned and glared at Dan
"Shut up."
"You really should have looked at the front of the menu first Phil. Could've saved you a lot of embarrassment" Dan sniggered
"Actually shut up. It's not like you knew either..." Phil trailed off, taking in Dan's suppressed smile and his avoiding gaze.
"Oh my god. You knew."
"I don't know what you're talking about Phillip" Dan replied nonchalantly. However his growing grin gave him away.
"You knew and you just let me sit there like an absolute tw-"
"Hey! You where the confident one who was like 'oh it's fine! Just point at the pretty pictures and say please and thank you'. I wanted to see if it worked" Phil shot Dan more daggers
"Yes, well, we've established it didn't so drop it."
"Whatever you want my dearest. Would you like me to order desert for you as well? Or would you prefer to draw it for them?"
"I hate you"
They continued to playfully banter and bicker back and forth until their food arrived. Whilst eating, Phil took in his surroundings more clearly. Dan had clearly paid quite a bit of money to get them in here at the last minute. The place looked like something you would see out of a french movie, with chandeliers hanging from the ceilings and fancy decorated wooden and marble structures littered throughout the establishment. Not to mention the currently empty dance floor and stage which, presumably, was for an orchestral band to perform on. Gently Phil felt Dan begin to caress his knee under the table to get his attention. He tore his eyes away from the beauty of the building to look at his handsome best friend who cleaned up very well in a suit.
"What are thinking about?" Dan inquired, noticing the spaced out look Phil currently had as he looked around the room.
"Nothing just-" Phil paused in thought as he thought how to word his next sentence.
"It's so beautiful here and you've obviously gone to a lot of effort to get us in here. I just can't help but think that there's more to this than just celebrating me and you and my subscriber count" Phil stated. Dan smiled gently and his expression softened as he replied
"Well technically it is just to celebrate us and you, but...I wanted to show you how much I care about you Phil." Phil's face heated up considerably at this sudden announcement (He really hated his paleness sometimes) and Dan continued
"I did listen when you said you thought I was being reserved and, to be honest, I kind of was. I wasn't lying when I said I was getting used to this kind of thing Phil. For years you were just my bubbly best friend who was always there for me." Phil smiled blissfully back at Dan
"Same with you" Dan squeezed his hand slightly in acknowledgement
"Well from now on, I promise to try and be more sappy and touchy feely"
"...You killed the mood Dan."
"You love me really" Phil looked Dan dead in the eyes before replying confidently
"Yeah. I really do."
This time, instead of being awkward, Dan gracefully smiled back and stood up
"Let's dance" he declared suddenly
"W-what?" Dan dragged Phil up by the hand and guided them towards the middle of the dance floor.
"Dan! What if someone we know see's? Plus there's not even any music" Phil protested worriedly. However, Dan cut him off by reaching the middle of the floor and pulling him close, placing one hand on his lower back and their joined hand intertwining their fingers. Dan then nodded towards the waiter who had taken their order earlier and he nodded and bowed graciously back before disappearing behind the stage. Phil watched the exchange with confusion written all over his face
"Dan?" Music abruptly began to play
"Shh. Dance with me" He requested, pulling him impossibly close. Phil sighed before relaxing contentedly in the embrace Dan provided and the rhythm of the song
'Settle down with me
cover me up, cuddle me in
Lie down with me
And hold me in your arms'
They swayed gently from side to side with the music, just taking one another in. By now everyone in the restaurant was watching them but the only people they were watching was themselves. Phil placed his head carefully against Dan's shoulder whilst Dan tightened the arm around his waist.
'And your hearts against my chest
your lips pressed to my neck'
Phil cheekily placed a gentle kiss against Dan's neck, causing the younger man to shiver slightly and breathe deeply. Both men began to mouth the words as the song continued
'I'm in love now
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like were falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love'
"Okay. So maybe I was wrong." Phil spoke softly into his shoulder as they continued to move with each other to the music
"About what?" Dan asked curiously
"You didn't kill it. The mood I mean. In fact I think you topped it actually" Dan grinned at his statement and pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his head. Phil pulled back and stared into Dan's eyes which Dan reciprocated.
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
Phil broke the gaze first and looked down shyly. Dan used their interlocked hands to hook under his chin and force him to look back up. Dan's gaze lingered on Phil's lips before he licked his own briefly and leaned forward
This feels like were falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
Dan captured Phil's soft lips with his own, right at the end of the song. They both remained that way for a few extra moments after the music had stopped, allowing their mouths to glide over each other and become accustomed to the unique way they moved and tasted. Phil pulled away first and simply stared at Dan through heavy lidded eyes in pure bliss. Dan smiled back, breathing heavily and leant his forehead against his lovers. They were pulled out of their own world by the restaurant bursting into applause at their beautiful moment. They both pulled away and looked around, smiling sheepishly. Dan grinned at Phil and bowed to the room causing both him and Phil to laugh loudly. They both reached for each other's hands in sync and began walking away from the dance floor. After their 'performance', as the waiter who brought their deserts put it, Dan and Phil quickly finished up their date and paid.
Walking out into the crisp air of the evening they decided to go for a walk to calm their still erratically beating hearts. Phil was leaning against Dan as they walked, hands intertwined. Phil had never been more happy in his entire life. He never wanted this moment to end and neither did Dan. But fate was never that kind, was it?
"Hey Phil?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I l-"
"Hey handsome. Miss me?"
AN: Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I thought I'd have a little more humour and romance in this one as my last one was quite angsty and sad. Please leave a review and fav/follow etc. *offers to cookies to reviewers* 10 Phan point's to the first person to review guessing who the mysterious person whose appeared at the end is ;D