"Uh-oh..." Kinch pulled the headphones off his head. "You're not going to like this, sir."
"What?" Hogan took the clipboard from his sergeant, and Kinch watched him closely. At first, Hogan's eyes widened; then a twitch of a smile appeared at his mouth. "I can't believe this!" he exclaimed in semi-mock astonishment. "I thought we were called Hogan's Heroes, and yet these people only grant me bronze? Behind that big beef Burkhalter no less? Kinch, I'm hurt!"
"Yeah, well..." Kinch stroked his moustache before continuing in deadpan, "Maybe it should be called Kinch's Heroes from now on?"
"Oh yeah." Hogan shook his head. "That'd go down really well with my Mum and Dad. Ever since that TV show started, they think I'm some kind of hero here, and here you are, taking that aura away from me." He regarded Kinch with a mock disapproving glare. "Riot in the ranks, eh? Honestly, Kinch, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm genuinely shocked at your behaviour. Stabbing me in the back like that, after all we've been through together..."
"What's going on?" suddenly Carter's voice pipeped up from up the tunnel entrance.
Kinch and Hogan looked up at him. "Oh, nothing. Just a little byplay about the results for the Best Portrayal of Canon Characters."
Carter's face brightened. "Oh, that's us, right? So who won?"
Hogan handed him the paper, and waited till Carter's eyes widened, too.
"Well, that takes the pie!"
Kinch guffawed. "New expression, Carter? Or just a logical extension of the old one?"
"What?" Carter thought back to what he had last said. "I don't know. But a result like this really throws a man off, boy. Whoa...! Not that I think you didn't deserve it, but... the Colonel only getting bronze? What are these readers thinking? How could we possibly run this operation without Colonel Hogan? It'd be..."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Carter," Hogan smiled. "But just run this over to the announcers, okay? It's fine, really. I don't mind, and you've got to admit they picked a worthy winner."
"Yeah, but..." Carter got up and left the hut muttering to himself:
BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON CHARACTERS
.
Gold:
KINCH
in
Unsung Man, Unsung Hero
by Book'em Again
.
Silver:
Burkhalter
in
Goodbye and Keep Cold
by FloatingPizza
.
Bronze:
Hogan
in
There's No Place Like Stalag 13
by Goldleaf83
Down in the radio room, Hogan laid his hand on Kinch's shoulders. "You deserve it, Kinch. About time you got some real appreciation!"