Life Choices
High School AU
Summary: Dean's best friend killed himself last year. Starting his last year and he's a loner, the new kid Castiel took everything that had been his. Does he really want it back?
Authors Note: I ….yeah, so I'm not sure. High school was/is sucky but here I/you am/are. Please reach out to anyone, someone, myself included if you get that low! I get to sleep in tomorrow! Freaking A! And I'm kinda a day ahead!
Dean traced his finger over the headstone that marked Benny's body, he was seventeen years young. Dean had felt lost, almost at sea since it happened. It was horrible and gut wrenching. He had been aware that his friend was having a rough time, Andrea his long term girlfriend had died of cancer a few months before it all went down but it seemed that he had been getting better. He was out and hanging with the group again. Showing up to the team's games, it had all seemed perfect, sure they were sad their friend was gone but Dean had thought they would push on.
Everyone but Benny had, Dean should have know, his mom and the counsellors all said it was impossible but he had to have known. He remembered the day, it didn't ring truth, like Benny had been playing a big game. At the time it didn't make sense but now having read about-about what Benny did to himself and why he would do it he could read it like a textbook. But as Ellen told him time and time again, hindsight was always 20/20, you had to live in the now to make your life worth living. Dean was having trouble agreeing, the only reason he hadn't pulled a Benny was he couldn't leave his family like that.
Mary counted on him, he had a part time job that he worked at four days a week that helped support their family, Sammy was growing up way too fast and needed new clothes and shoes every week. Mary herself worked two jobs, one at the hospital as a backfill nurse and the second a morning shift at a local dinner, at least it allowed the boys breakfast every morning without having to think about going hungry.
John was around but not someone they could trust, he liked to drink and disappear. It had started years ago, before Sammy was born, before either of the parents had thought about their lives that much. Dean had only been young and John had come back different from the war. A lot of the men had, it wasn't a good time and they had been changed. He didn't want to be tied down but had thought with his dick and his racing heart when he proposed and knocked her up. With Dean in the picture things started to get twisted quickly, Mary was happy to have her son as a distraction.
John would take off for months at a time, leaving them with enough money to just make it until he came back, he would pay for the house direct but they were being controlled by a man and his money, it was when Sammy came into the picture that the three of them had taken off. They had sat aside a little bit of money here and there and had help from Bobby Singer and Ellen Harvelle, both were old friends of Mary's parents and when they heard about what was happening helped the small family move out.
It was November when they moved, the three moving over half the country to get some space and time, so they could heal it would be needed. The first Christmas was spent in the Harvelle's house, Ellen and Bill were expecting their first and Ellen was round and the Dean loved to hold onto her as she relaxed. Mary smiled because Dean did that with Sammy also and knew they would be just fine.
What had been only a few months plan turned into more, they celebrated Dean's birthday than Sam's first at Ellen's and before they knew it they had an apartment in the same city block. The boys grew and went to school met friends, Dean had met Benny in grade one, they had clicked and it had been the end of the world for their teachers and parents. It went that way until grade four when Andrea moved to town and Benny became divided. Dean didn't mind he had other things to think about, he got a job when he had spare time and devoted the rest of the time to his family and studies.
It was all good until the end of the school year last year, Dean had gone over to Benny's to check in and convince him to go to the end of school party that weekend. The music had been louder than every before, since Andrea's death Benny had started to listen to heavier music, mostly to hide the noise he would be making when he wrecked his room. Dean figured he would find the room tore apart like a tornado had struck, he didn't expect to find his friend dead, brains blow out the back of his head plastering the all start baseball team poster on his far wall.
Dean didn't remember anything from that day, but he was told he had started screaming and hadn't stopped until Charlie showed up and pulled him into her arms. He doesn't remember them talking, he doesn't remember Sammy showing up and making Dean shower, clearly at some point he had touched Ben-the body. The water had run red in the shower and he must have cried the entire time, his eyes had been red, puffy and sore for weeks after. His mother came to claim him from the police and took him home, he was silent the entire way and when they finally ducked away into his room and his mother held him he started to cry again and remembered this time.
That had been just before Summer, thankfully or not exams were over, it was almost like Benny was planning it but did it when it would in his mind have the least impact on their lives, like it wouldn't have any at all. Dean pushed down the sob, it was the first day of school and he had spent the entire summer locked up, he didn't want to look or talk to anyone the entire time. He had cried and hated almost every minute but his mother hadn't pressured him into leaving just understood. Charlie had come over and Sammy and Kevin had spent time with him but he hadn't really felt like doing the normal summer events.
He hadn't gone back the first week of school, he didn't want the looks and words that would come since everyone knew he had foud Benny but no one outside of Kevin, Charlie and Family had spoken to him. Charlie sadly went to an all girls catholic school the next town over and Kevin and Sam were a few grades behind so Dean had to face today alone. He kissed his mother goodbye and flipped the collar of his jacket up as he made his way out to his car and then headed to school. He could do this.
He kept that mantra up the entire drive to school, he forced himself out of the car and towards the school. The silence was breathtaking, people openly stared at him and Dean hunched over onto himself, he walked down the halls he knew from so many memories and he paused when he spotted the memorial still held by his locker for Benny. To the left of his locker was his group of friends but they weren't paying attention to Dean, no they were focused on someone new. Flashes of black hair and blues eyes over the heads of others and Dean frowned slightly. He wasn't shocked the crowd wasn't the most loyal, there was a reason he and Benny hung out so much, Gordan, Bella, and the rest were not good people, not even nice people really. Which is why Dean wasn't sure why he was so hurt and shocked when they turned their backs on him after only three short months.
Dean doesn't let it both him and ends up going to his classes, he ended up sharing about half with the new him and at least it was clear that the group hadn't really bothered to even try and get a "new" friend, just a carbon copy of Dean, he was starting to get pissed when he showed up trying out for the baseball team, at least he wasn't competition and he was a challenge on the track and field even if he wanted some time away from the new boy.
Dean didn't bother to try and reach out to them, he didn't talk to his old friends, people tried to talk to him, but he refused he even started to try away from Charlie not wanting to talk about what was bothering, he knew he was causing more stress for those around him when his mother, Charlie, Sam and Kevin were waiting for him one rather bad day after track, he had twisted his ankle and fallen out of the race, after flunking a math test he should have known better for and fucking up an essay for English. He had made a few passing remarks on the way out of the house and it clearly had shaken a few people.
He spent the next week confirming he wasn't going to hurt himself and having babysitters he was at the breaking point when they were assigned their sociology paring and he was teamed up with Castiel. Of course it wouldn't be a shitty week if it didn't end, it was after class that day when he spoke to Castiel for the first time ever.
"Hey Dean!" the man called after him as Dean tore into the hallway trying to make a break for it before the other could start to ask him questions like this.
"Yeah," he offered not turning and marching towards his locker, remembering half way there that his old friends and Castiel's new ones would be there he turned and figured that English would be doable without the book, not that he could ditch Castiel since he was in the course with him. "What do you want Castiel?"
"Oh, I was hoping that perhaps you could come over this weekend and we could sort out are assignment."
"Aren't you having a party or something?"
"We can work around it,"
"I'll think about it." Dean offered as he stepped into the English classroom and claimed the only spare seat by the window knowing he had a few minutes before the bell he pulled out his math room for after lunch.
"So what do you think?" Dean paused and looked up from his open book and blinked, Castiel was standing there with a wide grin on his face and Dean wanted to slap it off.
"About what?"
"Coming over," Dean frowned clearly the boy didn't understand he was trying to be nice. "Not a big party guy."
"That isn't what Bella and Gordan say."
"Yeah well that was the old me, as you can tell they don't know the new me." With that he turned back to his work and blocked Castiel out for the rest of the short time before the bell went.
"Hope to see you there." Was the odd teens final parting words as the teacher stood up and clapped his hands together asking who had read the assigned chapters. He wouldn't be going to party, it wasn't fun without Benny. As Dean promised himself he didn't go to the party, instead on Saturday Dean, Sam and Charlie were crowded into the living room of the small house and watching the Star Wars movies from beginning to end again. Mary had even tossed in junk food and a few beers for Dean and Charlie.
The evening was going as expected until Castiel showed up, a knock and then Dean was blinking at the man in his doorway, none of his friends not even Benny had bailed out of a party, not to mention his own party to hang out with Dean. Why was the man here, Dean couldn't help but stick his head out and look up and down the street to ensure that it wasn't a prank.
"What?" he demanded and he heard the movie pause and two footsteps headed towards him, listening but not watching at the moment and he knew they would have comments, crossing his arms he waited for Castiel to speak and noticed that his eye was slightly red. "Where you in a fight?"
"Perhaps, I was hoping that I could spend some time with you," he said finally when Dean didn't move or uncross his arms after a long time. Dean shrugged in way of answer and remained unmoving.
"Why aren't you at your party."
"It wasn't what I thought, as for my eye, yes I was in a fight. A few of the football players were saying rude things about you and well it wasn't welcome in my house."
"Dude you don't know me, it could be all true."
"I do not believe it was, all the same would you mind if I joined your movie evening."
"I really don't ge-"
"Of course you can," Charlie cut him off as she poked her head around the corner, "how do you feel about Star Wars?"
"I prefer…" Dean watched as Castiel moved past him and into his house to claim a seat between Charlie and Dean. He wasn't sure but that was the start of a new life, new friendships, new loves, and everything in between.
END