"Did you get it?" Newkirk asked. He was still hanging on to the top of the drainpipe off Klink's roof.

"Sure. You can come down now. It's your turn anyway to go and fetch the new results. Katie and Meghan can do the announcements."

Newkirk grunted. "Are you sure the dogs won't go after me anymore?"

"Of course not. They've won something - they're satisfied." LeBeau looked around. "Where is mon ange Katie?"

"No idea." Newkirk began to slide down the drainpipe. Or so he thought. "Ouch... Hey!"

"What?" Carter, already down off the roof, looked up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm stuck - what do you think I'm doing?" Newkirk pulled at his sweater. It had gotten stuck at the top of the drainpipe, and it looked like Newkirk had to climb back up in order to get it loose.

"Blimey," he muttered, as Katie went up the porch to read the winners in the category of the best original characters.

"Are you okay, Newkirk?" Carter called from below.

"Yeah..." Carefully, Newkirk hoisted himself up again a bit and looked at the damage. The rim of his blue sweater had gotten stuck. He clutched his knees a bit tighter on the drainpipe, leaned one arm on the gutter for balance and began to pry the woollen sweater off the protruding hook.

It was stuck worse than he thought. Even Newkirk's magic fingers had trouble untangling the wool from the the hook without tearing the entire sweater apart.

"Hey, Carter," he called at last. "Come on up here and give me a hand, will you?"

Carter already started climbing up the beam of the porch.

"Why don't you try and cut yourself loose?" LeBeau called out from below. "You got that knife on you, don't you?"

"Are you daft?" Newkirk scoffed. "This is my only sweater! What am I supposed to wear under my jacket if I rip up this one, eh?"

"Well, you still have that striped nightshirt," came Carter's voice from nearby. He hoisted himself up on the roof. "So what's the problem - are you still stuck?"

"No, what do you think I'm doing here - feeding the ruddy birds?"

Carter knelt down beside him. "Shall I have a go?"

"No. I just want you to make sure that I don't..."

He never finished the sentence. Giving a particularly fierce yank at the hem of his sweater, suddenly the drainpipe collapsed and before Carter could react, Newkirk lay sprawled on the ground half naked, with most of his blue sweater still stuck up the drainpipe.

"Newkirk!" Half the camp came running towards him, but Newkirk was already pushing himself up and shook his head to clear it. "Cor blimey," he swore.

"Are you alright?" Carter called from the roof.

"Yeah. I think so." He flexed his arms and feet, and decided to get up. LeBeau and Baker were instantly at his side to prop him up.

"Hey, I'm no bloody invalid, okay?" he protested.

"We just want to make sure you're alright!" LeBeau insisted.

"Well, at least I'm not bleeding, am I?" Newkirk looked up the roof. "Hey mate, you think you can get that sweater off now?"

Carter was already working on it. It was more a salvage operation than anything else - even from a distance it was obvious that the sweater had been torn into two. "Don't you worry, buddy," he said. "I'll have this thing off in a moment. Although I'm not sure it's still very useful. Maybe you should just pull out the thread and knit it anew."

Newkirk stared at him with his jaw dropped. "Knitting? Me?! I wouldn't be caught dead doing that - that's women's stuff!"

"Why?" Carter inquired. He was still working on loosening the sweater. "You're a tailor, aren't you?"

"Yes, but that's different!"

"No, it's not."

"I bet you he can't knit," Baker piped up with a hint of gloat in his voice.

Newkirk turned to him. "And what if I can't?"

"Oh, that wouldn't be a problem, Newkirk," Carter assured him from up the roof. "I'd be happy to teach you."

Newkirk scowled. "Sounds like we're going to have a bloody sewing bee in the barracks..."

"But first...!" Goldman stepped up. "I took the liberty of collecting the next results of the Papa Bear Awards: the Visiting Crossover Characters. And the winner is..."

"No, we want the girls!" LeBeau insisted.

"Okay, okay." Goldman looked around and located Meghan. "Here. You read it."

Meghan accepted the paper from him. "The gold winner in the Visiting Crossover Category is..."

BEST PORTRAYAL OF VISITING CROSSOVER CHARACTERS

.

Gold:

Bill & Ted
in
Wrong Number
by Bits and Pieces

.

Silver:

Lt. Columbo
in
Alien Nightmare, part II: The Return
by 80sarcades

She looked up. And flushed a crimson red. "Oh my..."

And fainted.