Georgia opened her eyes and gave me a double take with wide eyes,i started to get nervous as i asked "what!? wwhy are you looking at me like that?"
and she started even more "your neck!" i shot up feeling my head ache and ran to my mirror as i moved my long hair i saw the purple and red love bites on my neck,it looked like i had been eaton mouth fell to the floor "ow fuck!" was the only words to say.
georgia got out if my bed and put on her jumper and mummbled "i'm going home i feel like shit" i nodded in agrement,i chucked on my over sized jumper and walked her to the door and watched her drive down the road as the dry mud flew every where.
i could feel my brain smashing against my skull painfully i walked back into my room i got into my carebear pajamas and crawled back into bed and fell back in to deep sleep.
i was woken up by a banging noise,the sound was so loud my ear drum was on fire i pulled my duvet trying to block out the sound but it wasn't working,
i was starting to get angry and i pulled my duvet to see dad,jacob,jared,embry,quil,seth and standing in my room "WHAT!"i yelled dad gave me a look as if to say stop it but i ignored it and said"FUCK OFF DAD!" he said"oii don't swear at me " and i rolled my eyes and mummbled "shut up dad!"
he gave me a look and said firmly "get in the living room now" i was being stubbron and said "no.." and the jacob went to pick me up but i jumped out of bed the opposite side and said "come any closer and i will kill you with your own fucking gun and don't think i won't,do you remmerber when last time?"i said with a grin as i remmembered the time i shot him in the bum and he face dropped as he remmbmered that day and he said "you utter she's all yours i am not risking it!"he pinched the bridge of his noise and i knew that he was getting i stood their with my arms crossed,dad lifted his head up slowly and said "do as i say of you will be in big shit"
"i don't take orders from no one" i spat through gritted teeth "apart from zac efron" and then all of a sudden leah ran into my room and said "i fucking love him!" and i said"me to!" i sighed saying"what i would like to do to him" leah sighed aswelling while saying"he is a god!"
"more like sex on legs"i said with a grin and she laughed and said through laughs "hell yeah!" and the sam said "leah really this is not the time to talk about men"
"shut up cousin fucker!" she snarled i was so confused and then he spoke "how many times it isn't like that! you know that!"
and i intruppted "wait i don't get it!" i said and dad spoke "well if you go in the living room your find out!"he said in annoyance "you could of said that"i said as i walked out my room. and dad spoke"that girl is going to be the death of me" and jacob laguhed
we all sat down in the living room and all i could hear was my head thumping so was getting really painful i had to take a pain killer,
after i took the pain killer i felt all the pain go with in a secon and relife washed over me.
"so come on speak up"i said in a bored then dad stareted to speak"you know when we have bonfires i always tell the quileute legands?"
he asked "yeahh"i said dragging the word "how could not you tell us it all the time"i said bored out of my brain "well...well their true"he said i started laughing,i couldn't breath "yeah...ok dad and i'm santa!"i said laughing but they all had straight faces i carried on laughing"this is to funny"
Paul grabbed my hand and i felt sparks but ignored the spark me pulled my out the house and into my back garden then lead into the forest he let go of my hand and everyone followed he let go of my hand "stay there and don't move"he told me,i'm not gonna lie i was tempted to go closer just to piss him off but i chose not to. he took off his top and shorts so he was in his boxers.i looked at him i could see his 8 pack and it was a very,very nice sight to see.
i looked at him as if he was crazy,paul started shaking and he turned into a blur he was replaced with a gaw droped they all look at me waiting for me to speak but i couldn't my gaw was on the floor.i finally found words "that...is..fucked up!" i yelled dad then said"they all can do that sam,leah,paul,jared,embry,collin,quil,
seth and jacob" and then i interuppted "hold up hold up...how come jacob can do that and i can't that isn't fair!"
dad giggled and told me"becuse he's a boy he carried the gene and.." intruppted again "that is so sexist you got yo turn into a wolf!jacob does! what about me what do i get?!"
i asked.
"good looks"dad said and jake yelled"whats that suppose to mean!" and i couldn't resist but to say"it means your a ugly fucker"
"great!"he said sacasticly.
Paul changed back into a human and was butt naked everyone looked away but me "i'm sorry i don't want to look but u have to"i told paul,
dad grabed my hand and pulled me so i was face the other way and i mummbled"your no fun" and he said"how many times have i told you don't say stuff like that around me"
he told me and i muttered a sorry.
paul told us to turn back round and i started the conversation again"so it is all true? the wolves the vampires and imprint and all that?"i asked they all went inside and they took me everything about it and about leah and sam and about why they where worried about a man i met called james.
thay asked me what i remmember but i couldn't remmember alot.
"so i meet a vampire?" i asked and embry answered with a nod and then it hit me i had kissed him but they don't need to know that.
"so whats imprinting then it sounds like something from a love story"i said they all went stiff and looked at Paul and Paul looked at me as if i was all he could see.
everyone walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.
"are you going to tell me?" i asked him and he said "if you want" he sat closer to me and i lent in "go on the tell me"i said.
Paul took a deep breath "imprint is when you look into someones eyes and you fall so deeply inlove you would do anything to keep the happy.
imprint the person you want to spend the rest of your life person you imprint on is the person you live for they keep you goning and without them your i have to tell you this"he put his hand in my hair and pulled me closer"i imprinted on you" i felt my heart melt,i felt as if paul was all mine he belonged to be he was inlove with me i felt as if someome was inlove with me for who i was.
but then he pulled away from me and said "but we are going to fight it,we can't be together its what your brother wants and to be honest i don't want to be with you for the rest of my life.i mean who wants to be tyed down to one person,i don't espachaily you!"he said pouinting his fignure at me,i it felt like he had stabbed me in the heart,it felt so bad i could of died right their.i rememmbered our kiss how much passion i felt and now that was all gone nothing at all i've never felt pain like it.i didn't want him to know i was hurts so i shrugged me shoulders and walked into my room.i locked my door and and slid down in and cried quitely so they didn't hear but i knew they did after 20 mintues i just wanted to get away from i brushed my teeth and hair and chucked on a vest top and joggers with ugg boots and put sun glasses so they wouldn't see my red raw eyes.i took my purse and walked out my room amd then jake asked"you alright?" i ignored him and said"i'm going out,don't know when i'll be back bye" dad called me back "carla?" i turned around to face him but i kept looking at paul and felt broken his eye held hate i felt a single tear escape but i push it away. "take your sun glasses"he said "i..i can't got sa headache hung over"
i lied "no your not" he told i opened the door and leah walked up tp me and whispered"if you need a chat call me" and she gave me her number.
i nodded and dad said"i love you princesess" and my responce was "i don't care" and i walked out the house i had never said that to my dad when he told me he loved me i would always say it back.
i walked down the dirt path untill i was in town i wehnt into a shop and brought a bottle of 2 bottles of vodka.i walked out the shop and walked down a alley when i was down the ally u got my phone out and look through my contacts i called georgia but it went to voice mail.i remmembered Darren from last night and decided to text him.
ME-hi it's Carla you want to meet?
with in 5 mintuesi got a text back.
DARREN-yeah ok where you are?
ME-down the ally in la push,i'll explain when i see u
DARREN-ok sweet heart be their in five x.
if he was thinking he was gettin lucky he was wrong so so so wrong.
five minutes later i saw someone walking down tha alley and luck for me is was darren he sat down next to me as i passed him a bottle of vodka he asked what was wrong and i told him what happened but i didn't tell him about the woles and all that i just told him that paul was my ex who wanted me back then chucked me away like junk,
and it was sort of true i gusse.
"he's a dick! who wouldn't want you? your funny,beautiful,fun,bubbly and so much more" i just took a swig of vodka "don't pay attention to him hes a tosser trust me he will regret it"
and i said "you think" and he said "hell yeah!" i just look another mouth full of pure vodka letting it burn my throat.
"i have a shit life"i mummbled and he scoffed "shut up don't let him do this to you" i just ignored him competely.i felt a tear go down my face and Darren put his arm around me,i felt cwarm and safe but when i was with Paul i didn't feel it i knew i was safe and warm but i couldn't have him so i wanted second best and that darren.
"do you anyone that sells drugs i asked?" he was silent when i asked and then he answered "yeah why?" i thought about it, why did i want drugs?
"to get high so i can forget about Paul and all the shit in my life"i said numly he took that as a good reason "ok i'll get someone down here" he got his phone out and texted someone "their be here soon" i said half an hour later a man with a hoddie walked up to us gave us weed and i gave him 20 pounds and he left.
Darren sat back down and gave me some weed to smoke i put it to my lips and sucked in the descusting dirty smoke but it made me feel like i was walking on clouds and i could leave the pain behind.
we got through 2 packs of weed whick is bad but i felt good.i downed my vodka and then snatched darrens out if his hands."GIVE IT BACK!"
"NO!"i yelled i drank most of it and gave it back to him i could tell the weed made him act weird beacuse he grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked it.
i couldn't feel it,all i could see was a blurr and u felt sick and then yanked he to him and forced his me to kiss him,he put his tounge in my mouth and held me so i couldn't move.
i felt so alone so i kissed him kiss tasted of poisin nothing compared to how paul kissed me that one time.i had enough of him so i punched him in the balls and carried on smoking as he did the puff i took every single bit if pain was gone and the more i drank the more i felt ok.
i thought paul was my cure but i was wrong,drugs and alcohol was my real cure they would keep me going.
2 MONTHS LATER...
it was midnight and i was still getting high with darren,we had been at it all day and to be honest i hated it but i needed it,i needed something to keep me busy i didn't want to remmember Grace or Paul,i know grace would be disappoiunted in me but this is my way of dealing with it.
"i..i'm g..g..going home darren" i told him finding it hard to speak.
he grabbed he and kissed me roughly and then he bit into my neck makeing me bleed but the pain kind of felt good.
i picked myself up and walked home,all i could see was a blurr,my knees where really weak and my blood felt as if it had turned into alcohol,i craved it like a pregant women craves chocolate.
walked with my head hanging in shame as i stumbled to the top of my muddy road,i crawled down the road i reached my house.
i climbed uo the porch step my shaking fingures tried to open the door i was to weak.i managed to open the door and i fell in side but couldn't see a thing.
i heard my brother in the garden with his friends i heard them laughing and i knew that i had lost everything,i lost my best friend,my life and the person i fell inlove with in less tahn a day.
i tried to sneak into my room but they must of heard me slam the door,i hear foot steps running and i pankiked as i tried ti lock my door i managed to lock it before anyone could reach my room.
they tried toopen my door but i just ignored it and stummbled over to my mirror,i looked at my hair was wavy and ratty,i had bags under my eyes,my eyes where the size of footballs,i was sweating,i had purple marks on my neck and blood dripping down one fingurs traced over my neck,
i looked a mess,don't really blame paul who would me looking like this?i look descusting,i started to get angry,really really angry absoutly fumin at me self.
"AAAAHHHH!"i screamed as i chucked clothes,kicked down my wardrobe,threw glasses around,ripped up pictures,i went mental.i opened my purse and let all the weed fall out of it onto my bed. i grabbed a lighter and lit one i had already rolled i put it to my lips and let the smoke into my lungs destroying me but i didn't care,
i needed the pain gone.i heard shoutnig from outside buti couldn't hear well my ears where blocked.i didn't want my dad or jacob or even Georgia i just wanted to be left alone.i felt as if everyone was looking down at me but do i care?no aslong as i could drink and have drugs in my systems i will be more i fake a smile the more it hurts so whats the pouint this was breaking pounit.
i heard a female voice at the door "MUM?!"i shouted i heard a voice that sounded like my brother "I AM FINE JAKE LEAVE ME ALONE I MEAN IT!"
i said furry.i saw my door fly off the hindges and i heard a bang as it hit the ground,i didn't really hear the bang it sounded as it i was underwater.
i hid my dugs under the covers and spreaded myself across it as if i was sleep try to make them think i was asleep but i didn't foul them.
big hands picked me up and turned me around but the drugs had gotten to me and i felt paralized,someone was shaking me trying but i couldn't move.
all i wanted was drugs.i snapped ou of my fit and shot up screaming"GET OUT!GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" and then i saw paul looking at me i looked back at him anger covering me "GET OUT QUICKLY NOW!"i pushed them all out and cried,i felt pain come back.i felt it all over again and i didn't want to.
i needed company.i heard a female voice who i think was leah. she pulled me uo and took me to the bath room.
i felt her push my head under cold water and the water hit me like a wave and when it hit me i felt as if i was bo longer on my cloud i was back to reality and i hated it ,i looked at her and bursted into tears another women came in with a shocked look on her took my face in her hands i looked back at her and at her scars on her face she looked at my neck and asked"why are you doing this?" and i answered "to escape p..pain you should try it"i said as i drifted im and out of conshance.
i saw the women with scars shed a tear then say "i'm sorry i can't look at her like this" and she walked out.i didn't want fuss i just want to be alone.
i got up and walked out,i pushed past everyone and i felt pauls eyes on me but i didn't look at him.
i got my phone and rang Darren.
"hello?"darren said in a deep voice "its me carla,please come here i need you!,get weed please"i cried "I NEED MORE DARREN GET SOME!"
"I..I coming" he said and hung up.
i saw Paul come closer to me but u took a step back "DON'T TOUCH ME! I HATE YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME! I KNOW I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH YOU NEVER HEARD OF BEING NICE!
YOU COULD ATLEAST OF LET ME DOWN NICELY INSTEAD OF LET ME FALL FOR YOU!"
jacob tried to hug me but i shouted at him"YOUR NO BROTHER!JUST SCUM! YOU TREATED ME LIKE SHIT AND LET ME WATCH GRACE DIE NOW YOUR STOPPING ME FROM BEING HAPPY! WHY CAN'T I BE IN LOVE AND YOU CAN?!"
Jacob tried to speak"it's not like that,Paul is dangrous!"
"I LOVE HIM!"I YELLED crying i spke again "yes i know he don't love me,i'm just gonna have to forget all of you"
i heard someone shout my name from out side,i ran out side to see Darren holding a big bag of diffrant drugs in the air,ran up to him and grabbed the bag.
darren pulled me close to him."GIVE ME THE BAG"i shouted at Darren.
he ripped the bag away from me and snarled while saying"you have to give me you body first"he winked and grabbed my lady bits.
"give me the bag or i will beat you!" i screamed he pulled me hair so i punched him.
all of a sudden i was pinned to the floor with a knife at my breathing was heavy jacob went looked angry and ran over he held the knife closer and said "come closer and i'll cut her throat" i wasn't scared just depressed.
Darren came down to my level and said"i'm doing thid beause i'm your friend" i nodded "he kissed me and i kissed him back and i don't even know why.
darren was pulled off me and i watched as my brother beat him and then paul smashed his fist into his face."NO!" DARREN!
Paul moved me chin so i was facing him "THIS HAS GONE ON FOR 2 LONG CARLA!" i cried as he shouted i looked away,he shouted again"LOOK AT ME!"
i looked at him scared that he was going to flip and beat me."don't hit me please"i told him through looked at at and whispered "i would never lay a fingure on you,i know you don't belive it but i'm inlove with you"
i looked up to him and said "don't you dare just say that to make me feel better!"
i ran towards Darren to see him on the floor. he was beaten rootin it was ugly to look as "CARLA GET INSIDE LEAH GO WITH HER!"
leah grabbed me by the wrist and lead me to the bathroom,when we got in she locked the door and put the shower on "get in i won't look promise"sge said.
i nodded.i took off my jeans and top,i undid my bra and took my under wear off,i got in the shower and washed darren of me my neck was less purple and the cut was clean,my big eyes had calmed down,i washed my ratty hair and body.i got out the shower and leah turned back around after i wrapped a towel around me,
she smiled and said "much better" i didn't say a word, "you have to sleep on the sofa with paul,your dad wants to make sure no drugs are in your room i didn't speak. she passed me my pajamas and i put them all.i heard a knock on the door and it made me jump. leah told me it was ok and the women with scars on her face said "hi i'm emily,sam you want me to brush your hair?"i nodded my head and she smiled she lead me into the living room.
we sat on the sofa and she brushed my long hair,she blow drying my hair "your hair has beautiful waves"she said and i said a quick thank you,
it went silent "sorry for destupting your night"i told her,she giggled.
i saw jacob come in side and i stood up he walked uo to me and said "you look so much like mum it's scary"he said as he hugged "i'm sorry" told him "don't be"he told me
1 HOUR LATER...
i was sitting in the living room in my silk nighty when i saw paul walk in,he looked into my eyes and i looked into his,he walked up to me and stood in frount of me.
"look paul,i just want to say"he cut me off he putting a fingure on my rosey lips "sshh don't speak i want to show you how much i love you" he picked me up and kissed me,i felt passion.i kissed him back with all i had your tounges reunited as the danced together in picked me up and i wrapped my legs around his waist,
he kissed my neck where the bruses were and replaced then with his layed me down on the floor and kissed me on the lips before he trailed kissed down my jaw,
down my neck all the was down to my belly grabbed my duevt that was on the sofa and pulled it under us. he mummbled"you have no idea how much i crave you"
he told me in a sexy put his hand up my silky nighty and pulled it over my head to relviling my naked body.i arched my back as his hands moved softly over my layed on top of my being careful not the put all his weight on me.i kissed him softly as i lifted him top over his head,as i kissed his jaw,i tugged on his hair lightly and it made him moan in pleasure.i let my hands explore his body, i reached the rim of his jeans.i pushed my core towards his man bits. as i did this he put his hands in my hair and i kissed him softly.
Paul pulled of his jeans to realive his was BIG!
i let my hands trace the out line if it.i put my hand round his neck,he lowered himself and whispered "you ready?" i nodded.
he pushed him self inside of me and i felt my body tremble i moaned a little,i could feel it stinging a little so i griped onto his shoulders "am i hurting you he asked?" he asked and i said "no" as i started to move in and out if me keeping eye contact the whole time.
i felt the connection between us and i knew he felt it we touched it tingled on my skin,when i looked at him i felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach everytime.i wanted to spend every second with him.
Paul was pumping in and out of me getting faster everytime,he looked into my eyes trying to search for a sign of pain but i did't feel any,i felt fireworks being let off everytime he touched me.i could feel him inside of me,it hurt a little but not a lot.
"you in pain?"he asked with consern "no i'm fine"i told his with a smile as i wraped my arms and round his kissed me and i kissed him back softly,i went to pull away and he bit my lip softly sending goose bumps over my skin.i roamed my hands over his entered into my again and their was no pain just pleauser i started off the rythem this time as if i was telling him it was got my message and he move pushed him full lenght into me,Paul moaned loudly as he realised him self in side of me,i could feel it and it made me wamt more.
i sat up and trailed kissed down his neck as his big hands held my naked back,i put kisses on his neck and darted my tounge in certin place's,i heard his heart beat pick up everytime i touched him.i wanted him to feel the way i did so i let my hands trail down to his erection,i grabbed hold of it as i did this he grabbed my hips.i let my hand move up and down slowly then i pick up the paste,his head hung over my shouled in lifted his head up to look into my eyes and i couldn't help but say"i'm so in love with you Paul Lahote"i whispered as out foreheads touched,his lips close to mine "i'm in love with you Carla Black"he said back.
it put a smile on my face.i felt as if i was dreamin this was to good to be real.
he layed down,so i climbed on top of his and layed my body on top of his,every inch of our bodies touching,he sat up hold me close to his body and entered into me i arched my back in more pleasure and he cressed my ran his hands down my body untill he reached my core and let his fingurs touch it lightly.
he pumped into me all of a sudden it started to get really fast but i liked it he pulled out then pushed him self back in with so much force i gasped and threw my head back,
he exploded inside of me as he moaned my name.
i kissed the corners of his mouth and traced his face with trembling fingures i smiled as i looked into his eyes and saw love."your so beautiful"he told me "yeah..okay if thats what you think"i told him as put my hands in his cropped hair."i don't think,i know"he whispered in my ear sending severs down my spine.
we layed down on the floor and paul pulled my duvet over us.
he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him.i put my arms o his chest and drew circles on his skin as my head rested on his peck.
"that was amazing"he said as he stared at the ceiling i look to him through my hair.i looked at him with a grin and he gave me a grin back as i giggled "what?" he asked and i just giggled "whats funny?" he asked "your so cute" i giggled,he laughed at me and push my hair from my face.
"i mean it though,it was amazing i've never ever felt that much passion in sex" he paused "it was speachle for me"he told me openly "and me to"i said as i kissed him "thats what sex should be like"i told him. "well then were have to do that more often"he said with a wink.i couldn't hold in my laughs and i busted out laughing and paul joined in.
we layed their in silance and i drifted to sleep in the arms of Paul Lahote,the man had made love to and the man i was in love with.