Immediately, a few hundred prisoners crowded around the fallen announcing lady, and Wilson had serious trouble fighting his way through.
"Doc coming through! Doc coming through! Make way for the doc!" he kept shouting as he pushed his way forward.
But actually, by the time he got to the centre of the inaction, he found Meghan already opening her eyes and sitting up. "Where am I?" she murmured. "Where is he?"
"He who?" Wilson asked as he knelt down beside her.
"Newkirk..." Meghan drooled. "Oh, Newkirk...!"
"Newkirk!" someone behind Wilson called out. "The lady is asking for you!"
It took the Brit only a moment to push through the crowd (where the more polite Wilson had taken at least a minute), but the effect was not quite what anyone had hoped for.
"Newkirk...!" Meghan faintly cried - and then she fainted again.
Newkirk glanced at their medic. "What's wrong with her then?"
Wilson shrugged. "Seems to me she's fainting as soon as she sets eyes on you."
"Well, bloody charming! What's wrong with me then?"
"Maybe it's your bare barrel chest," Katie teased. "She always had a bit of a crush on you, but to see you with all that chest hair..."
Newkirk glanced down. "What's wrong with my chest hair?"
Katie shrugged. "Must have shocked her. Alienated her. In our days, the real sexy men shave their chest."
There was a collective drop of jaws.
"Shave their chest?" LeBeau stammered. "Mon Dieu - why?"
Another shrug. "I don't know. Why do women wear corsets in your day?"
"Because it makes them look pretty." Newkirk shook his head.
"Exactly. And in our day, women consider men with shaved chests handsome and sexy. What's the difference?"
Initially, her announcement was greeted by silence. Until LeBeau sighed, "Boy, I do hope I won't live till a hundred..."
"And you better get dressed," Wilson admonished Newkirk. "I don't think it's a good idea to have her fainting three times in five minutes."
"But my sweater is still up the drainpipe!" Newkirk protested.
"No, it's not." Carter just unhooked the last thread from the hook, and threw the sweater down to his friend.
Newkirk caught it, and inspected it. Their was a gigantic tear all the way from the collar to the hem. "A fat lot of good that's going to do me," he muttered.
"Just put it on, or get out of sight," Wilson ordered. "And perhaps if we can get some distraction going to divert her thoughts?" He slapped Meghan's cheeks, and tried to get her to drink some water.
"Here - I've got the results for the next category in the Papa Bear Awards." Baker pushed forwards and handed the blue note to Katie.
"Read it," Wilson ordered. "Perhaps that will distract her."
BEST TEASERS
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Gold:
Is it a bell? Is it a weapon? Is it a medical instrument? No, it's... what did you call that thing?!
Story: The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher
Author: konarciq
.
Silver:
There must have been some magic in that old Gestapo touch...
Story: Hochsty the Snowman
Author: konarciq
.
Bronze:
It can happen to anybody. Unfortunately.
Story: Forbidden Love
Author: SamRosinenbomber
But Meghan just groaned. "Not that unpronounceable monstrosity again..."
"Well, that's the curse if you like Hogan's Heroes, luv - you can't enjoy our adventures without picking up a little German on the side." Newkirk had put on what was left of his sweater, and now pulled the lady to her feet. He even put a supportive arm around her waist. "But that monstrosity of a word is more for the advanced learners. We can start a bit easier, for example with, 'Achtung'. That means 'good morning', in case you hadn't picked that up yet..."