First off, I'm sorry this chapter is SO long. Secondly, I really struggled writing this so hope it reads well. As always comments are greatly received.

Dean stood staring down at the maps on the table not really seeing anything. Red stickers decorated every sighting and every incident involving Bea, so many, he thought, how can she ever come back from this.

Sam picked up the map as he slapped his brother affectionately on the shoulder and moved to tack it to the wall alongside the other sections. Standing back to look at the heavily marked map he said "If only we knew what her plan was? I mean where is she headed?"

Dean's eyes snapped wide open as he looked at the large map "Oh my god!" he yelled suddenly "I got it!". He flew forward to trace his fingers along roads and markers "I can't believe I didn't see it before, the ocean, she's heading to the ocean" turning to Sam "she always dreamed of seeing the ocean"

Sam shook his head confused, the Bea they knew, the Bea who was like a little girl maybe, back when she was innocent and desperate to see new things but they weren't chasing that girl anymore, Sam wasn't even sure she still existed.

"But if she's all Queen of the Darkness" Sam cringed at using the term "then why would she still be dreaming of that?" he questioned.

Dean's face lit up, hope dangling no matter how thin the thread in front of him as he said "Because she's still in there Sammy, Bea's still in there".

Xxx

Stepping out into the middle of the street she looked down the hill to where the ocean lapped gently at the golden sand.

Either side of the street before her there were coffee shops and stores selling the usual tourist crap. The sidewalk was filled with smiling people obviously happy to be vacationing by the ocean. Small white tables and chairs outside shops were heaving with people chatting and enjoying their drinks while the sun shone upon them dressed in their shorts and summer dresses.

A lady wearing a flowery red dress and huge Jackie-O sunglasses flinched a little when a drop of water landed on her face, thinking it can't possibly of been rain because of the cloudless blue sky she looked around to find it source.

Across the road a guy dressed in board-shorts whooped when a sudden gust of wind whipped off his hat and carried it down the road, he took off running after it but the wind was gathering strength and soon his hat had disappeared from view. Turning around to find his friends he saw people running into shops and stores as the storm hit them hard out of nowhere, their dresses blown up around them, arms over heads as they tried to protect themselves from everything the wind was throwing at them, chasing them in search of safety. He moved quickly to a store door as heavy rain began to beat down painfully on his shoulders.

"Quick son inside" an old man called out pulling him in and slamming the door shut behind them.

Looking down the street she paid little attention to the chaos of the people trying to shelter from the sudden storm. Her attention lay on one thing, her eyes focused on the calm blue waters beyond.

Something in her mind shifted and for the first time in days a memory came to her, a daydream really, one she'd had a thousand times over the years that she had been stuck in the woods. She would often dream of one day escaping the things that hunted her and coming to see the vast expansion of the ocean with her own eyes, to experience the feeling of warm sand between her toes. The memory hit her hard followed by the feeling of being herself once more as her tired body sagged for a moment and everything she'd done since she'd left the cabin flooded her mind.

"Get out" she said quietly at first, then yelling as she threw out her arms and held her head back "get out get out get out!"

Pain blanketed her skin as black liquid, thick like Mercury, oozed from her pores, her eyes and her ears falling to the concrete at her feet, congealing as it moved around to seek other liquid out.

Her face twisted in agony as she felt like her back was ripped open and from between her shoulder blades a huge black mass, half shadow and half liquid, appeared and fell to the floor slithering away soaking up the black liquid already on the floor.

Bea slumped forward, her hands on her knees as sweat fell down her face stinging into her eyes trying to catch her breath. Slowly she stood and looked over her shoulder.

She wasn't scared by what she saw. The liquid stood no more than 4feet high, in places it spiked out sharply, peaks of black looking for something to pierce. From its centre hands made up with claws instead of fingers reached out for her. No, she wasn't scared by what she saw, she was scared of knowing that she would never be able to beat it. Standing there staring at her future, her darkness. Whatever will of her own was left would not be strong enough, and it felt strange to know that this was one of the last times she'd be herself.

Looking away from the darkness she once again rested her eyes on the bluest of waters lapping onto golden sand as her feet carried her forward towards it.

Either side of her wind raged and rain lashed against windows sheltering tourists but here in the middle of the street where she walked was calm. Bea moved slowly basking in being control of her own body again. It felt tainted, abused by the darkness, but with every step she took towards the ocean she claimed a piece of it back, unfortunately she also claimed the guilt that came with what she'd done over the last few weeks. Stopping just before the sand she looked up to the sky and closed her eyes enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face.

Dean drove the Impala round a corner and instantly slammed on the brakes as they found themselves in the middle of a storm.

"What the hell!?" Sam shouted throwing his hand out to brace himself on the dashboard as the car skidded to a stop "where the hell did this come from?"

"It's Bea" Cas spoke leaning forward from the backseat "See how the sun is still shining and behind us" he paused looking out the rear window "the weather is perfectly fine. She's using her powers I can feel it"

"But why? What's she doing?" Sam asked looking over at his brother "Dean? Dean?"

Dean sat eyes frozen straight ahead. Wind and rain battered his car but through the downpour he saw only her.

Bea kicked off her boots and then reached down to pull off her socks. She laid her backpack and bow alongside them and took a deep breath.

It felt strange to be herself again, part of her wanted to smile and run across the sand giddy with excitement but she didn't deserve to be that girl anymore, not after everything she'd done.

Looking over her shoulder at the darkness that followed her, she thought it seemed further away, not that she expected that to be the case for very long she sighed. All Bea wished for was a chance to say goodbye and then the chance to destroy herself.

She stepped onto the warm sand and wiggled her toes. It felt rougher than she'd always imagined as she felt every grain of sand shift beneath her weight. Walking on she neared the water and watched for a moment before stepping into the gentle waves.

Dean tried not to run. He willed his body to inch forward cautiously but still found himself ahead of Sam and Cas. His hair was plastered to his face, his clothes sodden but he barely registered it.

"Dean" Sam called out gruffly stopping him in his tracks "Dean be careful"

Sam was soon at his side but Dean didn't look at him until he heard a familiar clanging of chains. When he looked down he saw Sam holding out the handcuffs the Men of Letters had made, cuffs that had held Crowley and Dean at their most powerful.

"It's just a precaution" Sam said as his brother looked down at them "I'll do it" he spoke again desperate to take some of the burden off his brother

Dean shook his head slightly and grabbed them and wound the chain around his wrist holding the cuffs in his hand before moving forward.

Bea stood at the water edge while the waves splashed up around her knees and when she turned blue eyes to look at him the wind and rain stopped as suddenly as it had began.

Dean felt his heart break as a wave of panic made its way across her face and she stumbled away seemingly afraid, tripping over her own feet she landed on her knees in the sand her head slumped forward.

"Bea" Dean called running forward throwing himself to his knees in front of her. Breathing deeply as he looked at the top of her head and watching as her shoulders shuddered and quiet sobs escaped her "Bea" he spoke again softly reaching out to touch her, something he'd been longing to do every day since he'd last seen her, but worried he'd frighten her he pulled his hand away.

A silence stretched between them only broken by Bea's occasional sob.

Dean sat back on his heels and pushed his wet hair off his face. Behind him he felt Sam and Cas waiting, grateful that they were giving him space to help Bea on his own.

"Please don't hurt him again...please...I can't watch...please" Bea began pleading, her voice so full of emotion that he struggled to find his own voice.

"Bea please look at me, please" he once again reached out only is time he let himself touch soft hair as he moved his fingers through until he touched her cheek. He didn't like how Bea flinched at his touch but now he had her there was no way he was letting go.

"Bea, baby, please just look at me" he begged.

Slowly as his hand cupped her cheek she raised her head to look at him. Tears still fell from her eyes when they meet his "Dean?" She asked

He felt a little of the tension he'd been holding in his shoulders give as blue eyes searched his face.

"It's me Bea" he licked at his lips then moved forward pulling her face to his until their foreheads were touching "it's me, I got you baby, I got you"

Bea couldn't believe Dean was here, she tried to look at every inch of his face taking it all in. Her breath came in rapid bursts and then it hit her, he was alive!

She threw her arms around his shoulders grabbing handfuls of his shirt feeling him to make sure he was real and holding on so she wouldn't lose him again.

"Dean...Dean" she sobbed into his neck as she felt his strong arms crush her body to his.

Sam watched as his brother and Bea clung to each other as though their lives depended on it, his own eyes welling with emotion.

"Sam" Cas spoke waking him from his trance

"Huh" Sam said shaking his head then turning to look the the angel "what is it?"

"I can still feel the darkness"

"What!?" Sam panicked taking a step towards his brother protectively

"No Sam wait" Cas put his hand on his arm to hold him back "it's not in Bea anymore but it's close" Cas closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, spreading his senses out around them and then he winced painfully, his eyes snapping open and locking onto Sam's "It's so strong Sam".

Bea released her hold on Dean just enough to move in front of him to once more look at his beautiful face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too but I just...I wasn't in control and I thought...I thought you were dead'

"I'm here Bea" Dean spoke softly.

Bea ran her hands down his shoulders to his arms feeling his muscles under the fabric, hard, strong and protective, finally her fingers found his hands.

She looked down momentarily shocked when she saw the heavily warded shackles he had clenched in his grasp followed by a look of acceptance as she moved her hands together to hold in front of Dean's chest.

"Oh god Bea I'm so sorry" Dean's voice trembled as he slowly unwound the chain from his wrist.

"It's okay Dean I understand" she said with a small smile of encouragement.

Dean felt the weight of the chains in his hands and looked down at her pale fragile wrists and froze.

After a few minutes of not moving he felt Sam's hand on his forearm and looked up to see his brother kneeling in the sand beside him. His eyes darted between Sam and Bea when he realised he'd been staring at Bea's out stretched wrists for a while.

He watched as one of the wrists disappeared and followed it to watch as Bea lay her hand on Sam's cheek stroking her finger along his cheekbone.

"Hey Sam" she smiled up at him

"Good to have you back Bea" he whispered.

Dean was grateful that Sam had made no move to return Bea's touch. He knew he needed to stay calm right now and with his emotions stretched so thin it wouldn't take much for him to snap.

Bea once again dropped her hands in front of him looking into his eyes she said "I'm ready"