IV. The Circle Opens
At first, Patrick had thought he had be dreaming, for only in your dreams you would heard the voices of the dead. But he was wide awake, and he would felt the cold wind sending temblors through his whole body. He fidgeted, trying to work up the knots. Being a guard in Count Mott´s mansion was not the most comfortable of jobs, but the pay was nice. More that it would be expected, really, since nothing of real importance had happened in all his five years of service. But, really, such a silly thing, to image their voices now when it had be so long since he had even thought about them...
"Hey, Patrick." Vincent said. He, who was more that a decade dead. And his voice seemed to come for in front of him. "Hey. Being dead is not so bad, once you get used to it. And if I ever had something since that day, is time. Twelve years, Patrick. Twelve years."
Patrick tensed, and squinted, looking through the darkness of the forest, almost expecting to see him, dragging his rotten corpse towards him, before he caught himself. Dead is dead, and that was that. Even little kids knew that much. He was more that a little tired, his misplaced sense of guilt didn´t help matters in anyway, but he was not hearing Vincent´s voice. Hell, he didn´t even really remember his voice.
"Its all coming back, big brother." Patrick froze. It was Natasha´s voice. She hadn´t even lived for ten years. "Everything comes back, floating. How, of it all floats! Like the ballots I never got to see. But they were beautiful, right, big brother? I sure they were."
Patrick raised his head towards the darkness of the night sky, sweat running down his face like tears. This was nothing but a particularly vivid hallucination, is guilt talking, because while Vincent may have spoken like that, Natasha didn´t really call him big brother. Patrick, yes, and sometimes even Pat, but never big brother. His brain had found a new way to torment him, like he didn´t know enough, and nothing more. Nothi...
He jerked, startled. It took him a moment to realize that Richard was just beside him, instead of the other side, and that he had slapped him in the back of the head.
"What are you spacing around for?" Richard said. "If any of the mage guards saw you, you would get a good whipping."
"They are too busy eating, sleeping and staring at the maid´s chests to notice lowly persons such as us." Patrick replied. "Besides, is not like I am stupid enough to sleep during the day, so don´t be so dramatic. And warn me next time, asshole. That hurt."
"Well, you did deserve it." Richard said, and laughed. Then, he got back to his post. Patrick straightened out, a smile on his face and fixed his gaze in front of him. Things went on. Then, he saw it. Briefly, for the corner of his eye, so briefly he thought that it was a trick of the light until he turned.
Natasha and Vincent were both standing there, hand in hand, looking solid. Natasha´s slender throat was slashed, dry blood coating it and her little airy sundress. She was smiling, but rigidly, like it was somehow fixed on her face. Half of Vincent´s face was missing, and his brains hanged out between the air and bits of blood and meat like a grotesque flag. A raw line ran down his neck.
"We didn´t die." They said, in unison. "We were killed. Killed, because of self interest."
"Want to heard it, big brother?" Nathasa said.
Patrick opened his mouth, perchance to scream, but he closed it instantly. No. No. This was just...
"It was him. Mott." Vincent said. "His lapdogs, anyway. I think of telling my family, because I didn´t want them to worry, and I never got the chance, either. I sneaked out of my work to talk with Mott about the raising taxes. I told him that I knew it was not out of necessity, the royal palace hadn´t given the order and it was all just to fill out his pockets even more. His lapdogs grabbed me, put me in the forest and beat me so hard my skull cracked open."
Patrick froze. He didn´t want to believe any of what was happening, but those words sounded good. Vincent had always be like that, hard working and righteous and that he had sneaked off of his responsibilities without good reason only to be attacked and killed by a wild animal had never convinced him. So, maybe it was true. Maybe they were spirits, looking for vengeance througth him.
"Yes, big brother." Natasha said. "That´s exactly what we are looking for. Now, do you want to heard my history? It won´t take long, big brother."
Patrick opened his mouth again, slowly, feeling almost like he was drifting away, and whispered:
"Tell me."
"I was playing with Audra. I got carried away, like always and I had to run to not be late for my birthday party, because I am a good girl and only bad girls do thinks like that. Is irresponsible. But on my way home, I heard shouting coming for an alleyway. I didn´t understand half of it, but I knew people shouldn´t fight like that, so I went there. I knew you would forgive me for being late, if I told you why, so I didn´t think twice about it. I heard a squashing noise, turned the corner and saw a
blood drenched man, shirt torn open, with a hole on his chest, and two armored men standing over him. They saw me as I stood, frozen in fear, looking at the corpse, and knocked me out. And I never waked up again, big brother. Until now."
Patrick clenched his spear so hard his knuckles turned white. Her sister had be murdered just because she had stumbled into the wrong things, just because she was-had be-far too kind. Mott. Everything was Mott´s fault. And he had be living for so long in his service, depending on his money. He felt so sick he could have puked his guts out.
"I kill him." He thought is words could sound hollow, but they didn´t.
"Uh, what did you say?" Richard asked.
"No, nothing. Just thinking about... things." Things like the look of Mott´s face has he approached, his arrogance crumbling away into terror. Hold him down, heard him beg and cut off his throat just to watch the blood flow down. Things like that. He turned around, grasped the knock on the door and opened it. Patrick looked back. Richard was just beside him, but he didn´t warm him not to do that or reacted in anyway. It was odd, but the ghosts of his friend and his sister appearing in front of him was even odder, so it didn´t really matter. He entered the mansion, spear held high and advanced towards Mott´s quarters. There were several lights on, and the guards for the second floor should have seen him, but they didn´t comment on it. No matter. He just carried on. He reached his quarters and opened the door, while the two soldiers stationed in front of it just kept looking emptily at the horizon. Patrick turned on the lights. He saw Mott stirring beneath the covers, and an another shape next to him. A maid, clearly naked. He would see the tips of her breasts. She tried to cover herself, badly. Mott sat up, and looked at him. No matter.
"What are you doing here?" He sneered. "You better hope you have a good enough excuse, or I have you hanged. Didn´t you heard m...?"
Patrick raised the spear, and hit him right in the neck, driving his body against the wall. His throat had a ragged line running through it, and he would see the meat and bone behind it. Mott gasped, and spat out blood. The maid screamed, and backed away until she fell off the bed.
"Guards! Guards!" He would clearly heard her screaming for help, but he saw for the corner of his eye that they didn´t even twitch. A sensation of dislocation assaulted him, making him fell sick. Was this real? I am real? No matter, no matter. He twisted the spear, and took off Mott´s head for his shoulders. Blood spurted. The head when flying, hit the ground and rolled to the corner, spreading even more blood. The maid was crawling away, almost spilling because of the blood. Her breasts swung back and forth. He reached for her hair, grasped it and pulled her back. She screamed, again and grabbed his hands, trying to break free. "N-no, n-no, please."
What are you doing? Mott is dead, this is enough. He thought, and yes, it was enough. But... he had to show the world that he was real. He had to show the world that little Natasha, with her innocent little smile and her airy sundress, was real and that Vincent was sometimes over eager but had the common interest in mind and he didn´t deserve what happened to him, none of them deserved what happened. And if this was what it took, then fine. Patrick tossed the maid against the ground, lifted his spear and decapitated her cleanly. She didn´t have the time to scream again. He lifted the spear, tick with blood, and got out of the room. The guards still didn´t react. He stabbed the one in the left in the heart, and yet the other one didn´t react. He gave him time, put himself right in front of him and looked at him at the eyes and raised the spear slowly, but his spear dug deep into his body without resistance, and when he pulled it away the corpse fell against the ground lifelessly.
All right.
Fucking all right.
The world didn´t know they were there, that they were real, but he show them. He show all of them.
"Last night, Montmorency Margarita la Fére de Montmorency was killed." Osmond said, in a calm and reasonable tone of voice. It almost made her miss the real meaning of the words. Another one? Another one who hadn´t be protected, despite of everything? Louise didn´t like Montmorency, and had liked Guiche even less, but still... all of this made her fell sick. Some of the students stood up for their seats and erupted in an uproar of panicked yells, demanding explanations, a culprit and lots other things that were simply inaudible. "Silence."
And, incredible, it only took that word to shut all of them up, sit back down and listen, like proper nobles.
"Uh." Osmond mumbled, and coughed. "Now, as I was saying. Somebody entered in her dormitory, and pushed her out of the window. Her neck cracked instantly when she hit the ground, so at least she didn´t suffer. We have leads we are still pursuing, but staying it school will be dangerous, so today, the Tristanian Academy Of Magic will be closing for an indefinite amount of time. We have already send messages to your family's to come and pick you up, so you can concentrate in preparing your bangs. Also, even thougth they are going to take a while, there won´t be classes today. Now, you can go back to your breakfast."
Louise picked up the knife, and half-heartily dug into her plate. Montmorency was not only death, but killed. And not even two days after what happened to Guiche and Katie. Even an idiot would see that the two happenings were not unconnected. So... so the other two were already dead, and rotting. Which made her wonder why Montmorency corpse had be discovered, when there was still no trance of the other two. Maybe the murdered had be about to be discovered, and... wait, no. She had provably be discovered this morning, so the culprit would have had all the time to dispose off her corpse using whatever method he had with the other two, which means he wanted her to be discovered. It sounded like the ramblings of a paranoid mad man, even in her head, and yet it made sense. It made far too much sense. When breakfast finished, she went up to her room, followed by Pennywise and started preparing for the ride. She put out various changes of clothes, a few novels, some of the class books and nothing else. It took her less that a quarter of an hour. She made Pennywise carry them, and together they went to the courtyard and sat down in one of the free seats. She took off one of the unfinished novels, and read, waiting for her carriage. She saw a few of the students enter the carriage of their families, and go away.
"What are you reading?" Pennywise said, breaking her train of thought. That novel was not the best she had read, but it was fairly entertaining.
"No Mans Land. Is about..." She started off strong, and felt silent, trying to work up how to best explain the book to him, who was for such a far off land that they didn´t even knew about it. "About a group of mages, in a mission to retake the Holy Land, trying to survive in the desert of Rub Al Kali."
"I see." Pennywise said, and brief glance at the book. "Want me to tell you a story?"
Louise doubted. Paul was in a pitch again, and, while she doubted the author would kill him off, she at least wanted to read how he got out of the mess. But, on the other hand, Pennywise never really talked with her. To her, yes, but not with her. And taking care of him properly was her responsibility, as a noble. So she nodded.
"Once upon a time, there was this small city called Derry. It was built in a quite inconvenient place, and it rained a lot, so people built dams and stuff so they didn´t get flooded over. One day, a boy gout of his house at night, wearing a yellow rain-slicker and clutching a boat made out of newspaper in one hand. The boy´s name was George Denbrough. His big brother, Bill, had made the boat for him. He had a stuttering problem, but George loved him deeply and respected him. Wanted to be like him. There had be a small flood recently, so George put the boat in the water and ran beside it, excited. The boat bobbed a lot, but it always righted itself. It floated to a gutter swallowed with rain, and that was when young George meet him." Louise swallowed, despite herself. She had read enough stories to know this was not going to end well. "Only he was not a man, but a magical creature. A shape-sifter. But how could poor magic less George Denbrough know that? He only knew that he had caught his boat, and that he seemed friendly. And when the kid reached for his boat made out of paper, the thing grabbed his arm and tore it off for his socket. He died instantly."
"That´s..." Louise mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was a little bit silly, but she hadn´t really expected Pennywise would even know a story like this. "What happened next?"
"Well, I was going to continue until you interrupted me." Pennywise said, and Louise blushed. He was just a commoner but, still, it was not proper to do that.
"Sorry."
"Doesn´t matter. Anyway. Dave Gardener was the one that discovered his corpse. He saw his yellow rain-slicker, now red for the blood flowing for the tattered hole where his left arm had been, and the far too bright bone that showed through the tattered piece of cloth. And he screamed." Pennywise said, calmly, still maintaining his smile and looked oddly at her. Did it show on her face how sick she was getting? Must be that. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Just a little... Please, continue."
"After that, Bill Denbrough had it bad. He made the boat for him, waxed it and everything, so he felt guilty about that. Still does, I am sure. Like he tore off that arm himself. His parents response didn´t help, at all. They didn´t beat him or anything like that. Didn´t blame him, either. But they may as well have. You see, it was like the moment George died, all three went down with him. His parents became stilted, each to his own thing and never talked between each other. Just simply being in the house felt like a prison to Bill. He tried to lighten the mood, tell them about school or tell some jokes or anything like, but his stuttering problem only got even worse after George´s brutal murder... and because he looked into his parents empty eyes, and saw only the same thing that ringing in his head, over and over again: George had be killed by someone else, but fact was that he had only be outside because he made the boat for him. That it was all his fault. The boy grew up, became a writer and wrote books that got him much money and fame. More that a few of them were adapted into plays. But, in truth, Bill Denbrough only wrote about one thing-the death of George, and the effects. Over and over again. He didn´t even realize, not until much later, but that was what it was." Pennywise said, and even thought his tone was dispassionate, Louise found herself enthralled. He was just like him, blamed for something he had not power over. She waited for him to continue. He didn´t.
"That´s it?" She blurted out.
"Uh?" Pennywise said, and tilted his head.
"I-I mean... what about his parents? Didn´t he..."
"Oh, he found happiness, all right. A group of good friends and a nice, pretty wife. But his parents never really loved him again."
"Oh." Louise deflated. It may have be nothing but a story, but he was so much like her that she had hoped he managed to win back the love of his parents. That would have gave her strength to carry on until she had her breakthrough. But now, the story seemed foreboding. Like she would live happily, even have great success, but she couldn´t never be a mage.
"I find myself thinking of that boy, a lot." Pennywise said, strangely serious. "I find myself thinking of all of them."
"Them?"
"Oh, that´s a story for another time." He said, his big smile almost wistful. Louise opened his mouth again, close it and bit her lip. She could press him, and he would cave in, eventually, but she didn´t want to break the trust between them. Perhaps it was nothing but obligation to him, but... maybe... maybe it could become friendship. Founder knows she needed something like that. So, she kept her mouth shut. Not much later, she recognized one of the carriages, got up and went towards it, Pennywise following her. She exchanged greetings with the driver, opened the door, sat down and waited until her familiar got inside to close it. When she turned around, she saw only the drivers head, behind a pane of glass, and breathed a sign of relief. Louise opened No Man´s Land again, and allowed herself to relax.
Hours later, she had to force herself to kept reading. It was still interesting, but she was dozing off far too much to concentrate properly, which was a problem as of itself, but the worst of it was that it made her mind turn to the meeting with her family. What would happen, what would they say about everything. It made her want to sleep just to forget the incoming wreck, even for a little while. Eventually, she gave up, set the book aside, leaned back on the seat and closed her eyes.
Louise stirred awake, and sleepily clapped her hands, to light the lamp on the nightstand. Only after that did she realize that she was not in her room, but in her family´s carriage and towards their home. She rubbed her eyes, and looked up. Her head was on her familiar´s shoulder, while he kept looking forward, seemingly without noticing it. She immediately drew back, blushing. Pennywise hummed, and turned towards her.
"This never happened, okay?"
"What never happened?" Pennywise said.
"T..." Louise mumbled, eyes narrowed at him. Then, she realized where he was going with that, and that it definitively was not to mock her. "Good familiar."
She crossed her arms under her chest, and looked straight ahead, trying to forget about it. She had sleep on her familiar´s shoulder, without a care. That was definitively embarrassing enough, but the worst of it that it could easily be taken the wrong way. At least, Leonor had not be there to see it. She couldn´t never heard the end of it, then. Thank the founder for small mercies.
"So, how is your family, Louise?" Pennywise said. It came out of nowhere, but still, Louise seriously considered how to answer the questions. They were not bad, just... just they kind of made her fell bad, more often that not. But she couldn´t blame then, no really. She was just Louise the Zero, while her mother was the Heavy Wind, feared and respected through all of Halkagenia, her father was no slouch either, Eléonore had prestige has a researcher and, even if Cattleya was always kind to her, in didn´t change that even her was more adept at magic that her, even though she was sick. Really, it was only natural. And there had be some harsh comments in the past, but... "Louise?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry. My family..." Louise mumbled. "Well, I have two older sisters, Eleanor and Cattleya. Eléonore is a researcher, and Cattleya has no job because she has be sick since she was born. My mothers name is Karin. She is a square class wind mage. They call her the Heavy Wind, because of her favorite spell. My father´s name is Erwin, and he is a skilled mage, though not as powerful as my mother..."
"Louise, I asked how they are to you, not to the world." Pennywise said, gently.
"I..." She mumbled. "You see, all I can do are explosions, since an early age. My parents wanted to marry me off to Wardes and get rid of such an embarrassment, but Cattleya convinced them to allow me to go to the Academy, despite that. She is very kind to me. She never scolds me, even when I may deserve it. As for everybody else, well... I-I don´t really want to talk about them."
"Do they hit you?"
"What? No! Well, I spared with mother a few times, but this at that are different. They wouldn´t never do something like that. Is just... they all look down on me. Eleanor, mother and even father, no matter how much they love me, think of my magic as nothing but a lost cause. Didn´t really expect that me going to the academy would change anything. And, as you know, they were right. Nothing has changed. I am still nothing but a zero."
"Well, you summoned me. That may not be a great achievement, but is something."
"Yeah, n-now that I think about it... but..."
"You wanted to be something more. I get it. Everybody wants that, at least once in their lives."
"And you?"
"Me?" Pennywise said, smile widening. "No. Not yet, at least. I always wanted to be like this. But I am not exactly common, you know?"
"Yeah." She allowed herself to laugh. "I know."
Then, there was silence, but it was not uncomfortable. No, not all. She felt like when she was with Cattleya, secure in the knowledge that she would just be herself. Soon after, she felt the carriage come to a stop. She opened the door and got up. Pennywise followed her. While the driver when to put the carriage back in its proper place, they approached the mansion. It was spacious, and really beautiful, but it had always made her fell removed for the world. As she should be, because she was not only a noble but a Valliere, but, still, it didn´t change what she felt. When they reached the mansion, the door opened and Cattleya stepped through, looking radiant in an elegant dress and wide rimmed hat with a feather on the top. She smiled at seeing her.
"Big sister!" Louise screamed.
"Oh, Louise, no way! You are not my little Louise anymore!" She said, giggled and then they hugged tightly. She felt a bit of embarrassment on acting like this when her familiar was watching, but quickly squashed that feeling down. It was her big sister, again, and that was what mattered. Breaking out the hug was a real effort. She noticed that Cattleya was staring over her shoulder, at her familiar and saw her stepping forward towards him.
"Ah, ah." Cattleya said, and softly stroked her familiar´s cheek. Even Pennywise looked nonplussed at the suddenness of such a thing, but he didn´t say anything. "You are Louise familiar, are you not?"
"Yes. Let me present myself. I am Bob Grayson, better know as Pennywise, the Dancing Clown. Is a pleasure to meet you. You must be Cattleya, right?"
"Did Louise tell you about me? She didn´t say anything bad, I hope."
"Nothing but praise. To everyone else, though..."
"Familiar!" Louise screamed. "Don´t."
"Oh... well, I suspected as much." Cattleya continued, like she didn´t heard her. "What did she say, Penny-oh, should I call you Bob?"
"Pennywise suits me better. Anyway, I could tell you... but I wont. Louise told me in confidence, and I be a poor familiar and an even worse friend if I betrayed her trust so easily, even for her dearest big sister."
"But..."
"If you want to know it so badly, then ask her later, Miss. Is really no my place to tell."
"But..:" Cattleya mumbled, weakly, then sighed. "You are right, Pennywise. Sorry about that. Is just that... you know what I mean, right?"
"I do." Pennywise said. Left unsaid, though, was what Cattleya mean, exactly. That she loved her? Was that it? It had to be that.
Get real. They are just saying that I am pitiable, she though. Louise pushed aside that though easily, it was a though used to being pushed aside, but she didn´t forget. Not entirely. She doubted she ever would. But, at least for the moment, it was gone. Soon enough, the house servant´s came and took her bags right off of Pennywise´s hands, and the tree of them went to dinner, even thought she was not particularly hungry. Seeing her mother and her other sister again was nerve wrecking, but she manage to pretend it was not affecting her at all. Now that they were not in the academy, she wanted Pennywise to sit at the table with them, but she fully knew mother wouldn´t allow that, so she didn´t even try. The food was served, slowly and methodically, in silence.
"So..." Karin said, looking at Pennywise for the corner of her eyes. "This is your familiar?"
"Yes, mother." Louise said.
"Why he is still wearing that makeup? Is unbecoming."
"Ah." She muttered, fidgeting in her seat. "Familiar, go..."
"But I am clown, Louise and clowns need makeup." Pennywise said, without flinching, despite that mother was staring intently at him now. "Everybody knows that."
She grabbed his hand, and drew him towards her, so the other two couldn´t heard her. She didn´t want to just order him around, but, to them, that would just be something more to hold against her.
"Please, just go. Don´t make a scene. You can put it back on later." Louise said. After a moment of deliberation, Pennywise nodded.
"So, where is the bathroom?" He asked her.
"Uh." She mumbled, for a moment having to work hard to remember the layout of her own house. It had be so long, indeed. "Right after going out of the, in the hallway of the righ, there is one bathroom. The door to it is clearly marked."
"Okay." Pennywise simply said, and went away.
"He is a bit undisciplined, but at least he knows his proper place." Karin said. "Well done."
For a moment, she didn´t know what to say, or think. Mother had never once praised her, and, suddenly, she was doing it for something that should be the bare minimum. But well, don´t look a gift horse in the mouth, and all of that.
"Thank you, mother." Louise said, and soon after the last of the food was served. She decided to wait for Pennywise, though. She heard the door open, and turned as Pennywise walked into the room.. His face had not even a trance of makeup, so while his smile was as big as ever it looked kind of empty, and the gloves. It really was not such a big change, when she though about it, but still, he looked really different, barely recognizable. He stopped behind her seat, without a word. Louise gave him a plate and a fork, and dug into her own food. She heard a click on the table, and looked at Pennywise´s completely empty plate. "Do you want more?"
He nodded, so she gave him another one and continued with her food. This repeated itself two or three times more, before lunch finished. The servants went to pick up the plates and watch them. Louise stood up, and went away, Pennywise following her, intending to sleep a little bit in her room. She was tired.
"Wait!" Cattleya said. Louise stopped in her tracks, and turned towards her. When she reached, she had to catch her breath. Louise winced, and looked away. It made her feel at fault, somehow. Didn´t make sense, but it was what it was. "Louise, can I talk to your familiar?"
Louise lips curled into a thin line. She didn´t really what Cattleya asking him what she told him about her mother, and Eléonore, and how they made her fell, but the sole idea of denying her anything left a bad taste in her mouth. On the other hand, knowing what she said would hurt her more, so... Wait, no. She was over thinking this. Pennywise had not said anything comprising before, so now shouldn´t be any different. There was only one question left. She turned towards him.
"Pennywise?" She said, looking at his eyes.
"Fine by me." Pennywise said. That calmed her down. She could trust him; she knew she could. So, she walked away, without looking back even once.
When Louise disappeared behind the next corner, and her footsteps faded for her hearing, she turned towards him and looked into his eyes.
"Pennywise, can I ask you something?"
"Depends."
"Is not about before. I just want to ask about what happened at the Academy. That was so horrible... how did she dealt with it? Do you think she is okay? I didn´t notice anything strange, but..."
She was babbling, she know she was, but she just would stop herself. Louise had always be belittled by both mother and Eléonore, and even though she knew such treatment was unfair, she never had the courage to raise her voice against them. And now, she had to experience something like that, alone. It just felt like another failure on her part.
"She was shaken up by what happened, of course, in the sense that it would have also happened to her. But it was nothing too bad. She never cared for Montmorency and Guiche, and she didn´t even knew Katie. So, yes, she is going to be okay."
"Do you really think so? I mean, even so..." Cattleya mumbled, and bit her lip. She hadn´t see it, but hearing about it was enough to make her stomach churn.
"Yes, don´t worry about that. To be honest, you should worry precisely because it doesn´t affect her all that much."
"What do you...?" She said, and looked down. What happened to her, at home, and how it changed her. That was what Pennywise was saying. He, who had be with Louise just a few days, had made more effort to understand Louise that Eléonore or mother ever would. It almost made her want to laugh. "I get it. Say... tomorrow, will you come with me? I like animals, very, very much that I many in my room. I would like to show them to you."
"Sounds good." Pennywise said, and his smile grew even wider. She found herself thinking that it was kind of cute, and blushed lightly. This was her little sister´s familiar, for founder´s sake!
"Thank you." Cattleya said, and smiled back.