Notes at the end...
The next morning, Rachel paced her bedroom in her bathrobe and tried to come up with the perfect outfit. She finally settled on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. "You look nervous," Kurt said from the doorway.
"I don't want to screw this up," she said.
"I don't think you can. Marley doesn't want anything to do with us, she just wants Santana. You'll be lucky she acknowledges you at all."
"She acknowledged you," Rachel pointed out.
"She said K-eh, because that was all we could get out of her. You'll be lucky you get vowels, if nothing else. Secondly, you and Santana look similar, so I have a feeling you'll make her feel more comfortable than I do," he told her honestly.
"You're so sure about that?" she asked.
"More than anything. She's going to be more than attached to Santana, that won't change, but I can promise you, you'll very quickly become second in command," he said.
"We'll see," Rachel said simply.
"Berry! Move it! We can't be late. Therapy starts in an hour, and the subways are over crowded!" Santana called from her bedroom.
"She's too bossy," Rachel pouted.
"She's doing everything she can think of to keep Marley safe and happy," he told her and then leaned in and gently bumped their foreheads together. "I agree with you though," he told her lovingly and she smiled, letting a little giggle pass her lips. "You're going to be fine Rach," he told her.
They walked into Marley's room and Rachel stood back. "Mommy!" Marley called sadly from the bed.
"That is one of the sadder voices I've heard baby, are you okay?" she asked and Marley burst into tears immediately. "Shhh, tell me love, what's wrong?" she asked gently. She moved to the bed, got in behind her and cuddled her close. "Shhh, Mommy's here, you're okay," she soothed and Rachel let a sad smile cross her lips. Santana didn't talk like that ever. Santana wasn't this calm, gentle, delicate person. "Well she is," Rachel thought, "but only when I challenge her and point out how mean she is to me and that I've had enough of it," she thought.
Rachel continued to stand in the doorway and watch. Santana looked around and picked up the teddy bear and handed it to her. "Look, Teddy Bear," she said kindly and gave it to Marley, along with a few kisses to the top of her head as she tried to get Marley to rest and calm down. "I'm here sweetheart, you're safe," she said and she carefully took Marley's hand in hers and noticed how dry her skin was. "Oh, I see, do your fingers hurt? Do you want more lotion?" she asked and Marley nodded yes after a moment. She hadn't thought about it, but if Santana said that they were dry then she would take it. It was the first bonding thing they had, so she knew this was safe.
"Are you going to block the doorway all day?" Santana asked Rachel and with a roll of her eyes, Rachel stepped into the doorway and stood on the other side. "Did you see Mommy's friend? That's Rachel," Santana explained and Marley went stiff. "Shhh, it's alright, remember when Kurt came to play with us the other day?" she asked and Marley blinked. If Santana wasn't looking at her, she would have missed it completely. "Well this is like that. Rachel is my other room mate and I wanted you to meet her too. Marley, anyone who I will ever bring into your life on a permanent basis, you will meet first, with me, and be completely safe in my arms, do you understand?" she asked and Marley blinked again. "Very good," Santana smiled. "Now, let's get some lotion on your hands, so they don't hurt you any more," she said.
Marley calmed down and Santana smiled happily and then looked to Rachel. "Me?" Rachel asked after she realized she was being stared at.
"No, the other Rachel standing in the room," Santana said. "Yes you." Santana had thought about calling her a hobbit, but that might have been too soon. Marley didn't know that Rachel and Santana tended to run hot and cold. Some days they were best friends and other days they were mortal enemies.
"Not the pet, I told you that last night!" Rachel said strongly. "If you want it done, you ask. You respect her, so you respect me too!" Rachel said seriously and Marley went tense. Rachel gave a huff, rolled her eyes and sat down. "It's okay Marley, I won't hurt you, and I know you don't know me, so I'm just going to sit here and tell you a story until you feel it's safe to give me your hand. I will massage them for you, because I know it helps you, but if your Mommy says one more word just to press my buttons I'm out of here, and I will see you when you move in with us. I'm not mad at you and I'm not even mad at your Mommy, but she tends to get on her high horse sometimes and forget that we're friends and equals, rather than Mistress, and sub or pet," Rachel said.
Marley seemed to take this information in and settled against Santana while Rachel started her story. "See, I met your Mommy nine years ago. We went to high school together, and to start out, we were not the best of friends. If anything we just maybe knew who each other were, but other than a name we didn't know anything else," Rachel explained as she picked up the bottle of lotion and began rubbing it between her hands. She'd remembered Santana's story from the very first day.
"I put the lotion in my hands and just rubbed and rubbed, until she showed me she was ready to accept it. Her eyes got soft, and she seemed to want to feel whatever it was I was feeling. Her hands were cracked and raw, and so I decided that maybe if she saw me use it she wouldn't be so scared of it. I mean why would I use something on me if it was going to hurt her, right?", Santana had said. Rachel had paid close attention and it did not go unnoticed by Santana.
Rachel continued to babble on bringing Marley through their years of high school, sectionals, regionals, and nationals. "We spent a lot of time singing together and then Mommy went to college on a cheerleader scholarship and I came here to New York, to study at NYADA," Rachel said and then she smiled. Marley had put her hand out now and Rachel nodded. "If it's too much pressure or anything you just let me know somehow okay?" she smiled and Marley gave a smile and then wiggled into a more comfortable position.
Rachel continued the story, telling her about Finn, and Brody, and Marley wiggled again and then looked pointedly at Rachel. "You want to tell me something?" Rachel asked her kindly.
"Mommy?" she asked.
"Mommy's right behind you," she said and Santana smiled and gave her a kiss to her temple.
"I'm still here babe," Santana told her and Marley let out a little whimper.
"Mommy?" she asked again and she stared straight at Rachel.
"I don't understand sweetheart, I'm sorry," Rachel said honestly.
Marley let go of Rachel's hand and grabbed on to Santana's knee, because that was what was close. "Mommy," she said with finality.
"Yes, that is Mommy," Rachel told her.
Then Marley took Rachel's hand very carefully and looked at her seriously. "Mommy?" she asked.
"Does Rachel need a name?" Santana asked kindly and Rachel felt her heart melt as her chest tightened. Was Marley really asking for another Mommy, or at least a second mother figure? Did Rachel really get Marley to trust her so quickly?
"Mommy?" Marley asked again.
"We have to ask sweetheart. I'm glad you trust Rachel, that's very good. I'm glad that you know that I'm safe, as are Rachel and Kurt. I don't have a problem with you calling her Mommy, but we have to ask her," Santana said and Marley nodded continually, stopping only when the bruise on the back of her neck started to act up.
"I am very flattered Marley, but you have a Mommy and she loves you very much. I don't even think I could put it into words," Rachel said and Marley looked crushed.
"Mommy?" she asked again, although this time her voice was full of rejection and pain.
"It might be confusing if we all live together and you call out for Mommy. Who would show up?" she asked and Marley seemed to ponder this for a moment. "Marley. You can call me what you like, I don't mind about that, but I want you to know that your Mommy, Mommy Santana, is the very best you could ask for. She loves you so much, and I know that you two have built up a very solid trust. I would never, ever, want to take that from either of you. Does that make sense?" she asked.
Marley nodded and thought for a little bit more. "Ay shh," she finally said and then closed her eyes and shook her head no. She didn't like how that sounded.
"Look at me sweetheart. What are easy letters for you to say. I know your mouth is still healing," Rachel offered.
"Ay, Ma, ah," Marley said slowly, making the noises that didn't hurt the tender muscles in her cheeks.
"Marley baby, can you say Mama?" Santana asked her.
"Mama," Marley said.
"Are you sure though Marley? I want you to be absolutely sure. We just met, so I don't want you jumping into anything you truly aren't ready for," Rachel said.
"Rrrrr," Marley said and then she winced in a bit of pain. She looked over at the table next to her and reached for the juice. She carefully grabbed the cup and waiting for someone to pour it for her. "Mommy," she said to Santana this time.
"When you're better, the manners will follow. Please and thank you my love," Santana scolded lightly.
Marley very very carefully got herself to drink the juice and then looked at Rachel again. "Rrrr," she said and it hurt, but not as much. Another sip was followed by another growl until finally, Marley was just staring at Rachel and seemingly growling. Little tears stung her eyes, but she had to try, she had to make it work. She knew she could, she just had to try a little more, and it was very nice to try herself, and not have someone breathing too many words of encouragement down her neck. She genuinely thought she was in better care with Rachel and Santana rather than with the hospital staff.
"Rrrrr, to you too," Rachel smiled and she leaned in and gently kissed Marley on her forehead.
"Ae!" Marley pushed out finally and then caught herself at how loud she was when she saw Rachel jump.
"Did you not like that? I'm sorry," Rachel said.
"Rrrrr, ae," Marley pushed out carefully and smiled at Rachel. "Rrrrahe," she said and then shook her head no.
"Do you know this?" Rachel asked Santana kindly once Marley had closed her eyes to focus on her own voice.
Santana shook her head. "Mama," Marley said slowly. "Ma, ma, rrrrae," she pushed out. It was staccato and sounded wrong, but she took a sip of juice and tried again. Mam, ah, rrrrrrr," she said.
"Marley honey. Is that Mama Rae?" Santana asked after watching Marley struggle for a few minutes. Marley beamed up at Santana and snuggled in close, closing her eyes and wanting to go to sleep. "No, no, before you sleep, Mommy has to slip out," Santana said and Marley looked upset by this. "I'm not leaving you, just leaving the bed, you can rest, I'm not going anywhere," she said.
It took fifteen minutes until Marley fell completely to sleep. "So Mama Rae, what do you think?" Santana asked with a smirk.
"I think I'm in love," Rachel grinned.
Marley was getting ready for her release and Santana walked in with a bright smile, only to find her little girl in tears, looking very stressed and uncomfortable. "Hey baby," she grinned and then her smile fell from her face. "That is a very unhappy face, what's wrong sweetheart?" she asked and Marley started to reach for her. Santana stepped in closer and pulled her into a hug and Marley hung on and cried against her shoulder. "You're going to hyperventilate sweetheart take some breaths baby, as soon as you're calm we'll figure out whatever it is, I promise," she told her.
It took Marley several long minutes to calm down and then she looked at Santana with a tear stained face. "Sweetheart, let's figure this out okay? See, I've learned a few things being a woman and living with Mama Rae, which is girls cry for every reason every under the sun." Santana gave a list of options, ranging from sad, to scared, to angry, to just a plain bad day, and Marley said no to all of them. "You don't want to tell me yet, do you?" she asked and Marley nodded yes. Santana gave a heavy sigh and sat down. "You know what? That's okay," she assured her and Marley started to cry all over again. Santana frowned and pulled Marley gently into her lap, keeping her close. "Cry it out baby, it's okay. I'm not mad, and I'm not going to leave you. Tomorrow you get to come home with me, and Mama Rae, and Kurt, and we are so excited for you to come live with us. You're very special to us my darling," she assured her.
"Mommy," Marley said softly.
"What's up my love?" she asked.
"A, B," Marley said.
"A, B," Santana said and Marley wiggled her fingers indicating Santana should say those same letters faster. "Aybee. Baby?" she asked and Marley nodded. "What about a baby?"
"Me?" she asked.
"You're my baby," Santana told her gently adding a smile and a tender kiss.
Marley thought for a moment and then pointed to her wooden blocks that were over on the side table. Santana reached for the blocks and handed them to Marley and she very carefully started to pick up the blocks to spell the words she wanted. She picked up the B, then the A, then moved the B over, and then added the Y.
"Yes, baby, you said that before. You're my baby," Santana told her. "And Mama Rae's baby if you want to be and Kurt's as well if you want. But that is all up to you sweetheart, if you ever want to stop being our baby, for any length of time, all you have to do is tell us and we will stop babying you. Well, we will try, you're very cute, just make sure you tell us okay?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Any other questions?"
Marley picked up her blocks carefully. F...O...R...C...E...D. "Never," Santana told her, "but I want you to understand something okay? I will never force you to do something that will harm you, but I will force you to do things that I know will make you better," she said and she saw fear track across Marley's eyes. "Let me give you an example darling. When you first started therapy, you had to just move your arms remember? Joe wanted you to start small. So he would pick up your arm and then let it go again, do that a few times, and then ask you to do it yourself, and you shook your head no and refused to do it? Do you remember that?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Then you had a big tantrum and then I showed up and do you remember what I did?" she asked and Marley pouted.
"I guess that means yes huh?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Can you tell me?" she asked.
"Ock, a-wah," Marley said softly.
"Yes, Mommy talked to you a lot. Can I see your tongue please?" she asked her and Marley stuck out her tongue, the blisters on the tip of her tongue, were healing, but still not healed yet. For that reason, Marley couldn't say a lot of words. Any letters requiring her tongue to touch her teeth, she didn't say, which meant she talked with a severe lisp. "It is healing, and I am so proud of you for talking to me. That was an amazing effort," she told her and then refocused on the issue Marley was concerned about. "Mommy told you then, that the reason you had to do what Joe said was so you could get stronger. Strong women are not something people mess with. Strong women know what they want and being stronger means you get to get out of this hospital and start living more of your life. Do you still want that?" she asked kindly. Marley nodded and Santana smiled. "I might force you to do things sweetheart, but I will never force you to do something that will land you back here in the hospital. Nothing I make you do will ever, ever be done out of cruelty or with negative intentions. Terri was cruel to you. Mommy, Mama Rae, and Kurt will never be cruel to you," Santana told her.
"K-Eh," Marley said softly and Santana thought for a moment. Realizing she hadn't made her point, Marley changed her tactic. "Mama Rae," Marley said.
"Yes, Mama Rae," Santana agreed.
"K-Eh," Marley said again.
"Spell for me baby, I'm not following," she said kindly and Marley spelled carefully. K...U...R...T. "Oh yes, Kurt, I'm sorry, what about Kurt?"
"Ah-pa?" she asked.
"Spell more sweetheart," Santana said gently and Marley nodded. P...A...P...A she spelled rotating the blocks. "Papa? You want to call Kurt, Papa?" she asked her and Marley nodded, although she looked fearful. "I think he would like that. Should we text him to talk about it?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Okay, watch me then," Santana said and she carefully tapped out a message to Kurt. Marley would like to call you Papa, are you okay with that? Is that right sweetheart?" she asked and Marley nodded with a jaw cracking yawn. "Let me send this and then we can get you to rest," Santana grinned.
Santana sat next to Marley and let her rest comfortably. Marley started to fight her body on sleep and Santana pet her hair gently. "Sometimes my love, you're going to have to nap, even when you don't want to. I promise you though, these naps are a good thing. They will help you get stronger and heal faster. Your body needs it," Santana told her and she saw exhaustion and fear in her little girl's eyes and Marley seemed to be regressing very quickly. "Marley my love, look at Mommy," she coached gently. "Mommy isn't going anywhere. I'm going to be here when you wake up and I promise you sweetheart, I will always be your safe place," Santana said and Marley nodded yes before snuggling down into the covers of the bed, she was exhausted now.
Marley was caught in a dream, but she didn't realize she was in a dream. It was all too real. It also didn't help that her fears of Santana leaving her, abusing her, the looming prospect of moving to a new home, and the past terrible memories of Terri taking care of her, in a manner of speaking, were weighing heavily on her mind. Her body was using sleep to process everything. The pictures in her mind and situations she was seemingly in began changing at a rapid rate. She wanted to move and get away from Terri. She saw the belt coming at her quickly and she tried to duck. She felt Terri pin her legs back so her knees were practically touching her eyes. She heard angry words flowing around her. Most of them sounded like Terri and she saw Santana standing there watching and then she heard her speak. Santana was calling out to her. Santana was calling that she was coming, but she never moved. The belt rose and fell twice more before every nerve ending in her body exploded with pain.
Santana was just returning from her little trip to the vending machines when Marley started to toss and turn, her body protesting the movement and all the pain that went with it. She watched as Marley's head slowly rolled right, and then quickly turned to the left, and very shortly after that, Marley let out a blood curdling scream, waking herself up, her entire body in pain. She'd wet herself in the process and now it felt like her body was on fire.
Santana went to her bedside and Marley let out another scream. The pain and the memories were too much for her, and she was still in her head. Santana watched, mostly in amazement, as Marley regressed before her eyes. Something had terrified her to go to this point and Santana had to tread very carefully. Santana waited until Marley stopped screaming and very gently laid her hands on Marley's thigh. Marley screamed again at the soft touch and Santana frowned. "Shhh, Mommy's here sweetheart," she said gently. "Marley, look at Mommy Santana," she said and inched her hands upward slowly toward Marley's hips and began to talk softly. "Marley, look at Mommy, I know it hurts, I know, I hear it in your voice honey, but you have to look at Mommy. I need you to know where you are," Santana said and as she spoke she moved her hands over Marley's body, until she was holding her hand. "Look at me baby, look at Mommy," she cooed and Marley quickly shut her eyes, keeping them locked tight, and shaking her head no.
Santana sighed. She wanted her to look, to be sure she was in present time and not stuck in her head, but she couldn't force her, so she decided to just talk while she got it all done. "Okay, okay, you don't have to look at me then sweetheart. Here's the deal. I'm going to let go of your hands and get you a new diaper, something to clean you up with and some lotion. It's already been far too long, and I don't want you to be in pain any longer than necessary. Mommy loves you too much," she said and she let go, gathered the items and went back to the bed, taking Marley's hand. Marley jumped and Santana's heart tightened in her chest. "It's just me sweetheart. It's Mommy Santana, and you are very safe, but we have to change you. We have to," she said almost pleadingly and very slowly, Marley's eyes opened.
"Mommy," she said sadly.
"Yes my baby, Mommy's here, and we have to change you. I know it hurts, and I know you're going to cry and scream, and that's okay. I'm not mad at all, and I don't care what anyone says, but do you know that Mommy has to change you?" she asked. Marley nodded and tears poured out of her eyes. "Shhh, I know honey, I know, I'm so sorry that you're in pain baby," she cooed as she carefully. Santana very carefully edged the hospital gown up, untaped the diaper and Marley started to scream. "It's just Mommy sweetheart, you're safe. It's just Mommy," she told her softly, over and over again. The diaper was soaked and before Santana could pull it away any further, Marley began peeing out of fright. "Just Mommy baby, it's just Mommy," Santana said, over and over again, in order to try to keep her calm. She waited till Marley was done and then picked up some of the cleaning cloths. She carefully cleaned her up, being careful not to rub too hard over any of the still raw, and sore flesh. Marley of course screamed, but Santana knew that was coming.
It took several long minutes, but finally Marley was changed and Santana picked up her lotion and started to work it into Marley's hands. "Alright baby, all clean, all done, I promise," she said gently and Marley turned to look at Santana and burst into heavy sobs. "Shhh, I'm sorry honey," Santana said and Marley just cried and tried to wiggle around. "Shhh, don't hurt yourself baby, talk to me, tell Mommy what you want," she encouraged. "Just try," she said.
"Cuh," Marley whimpered.
"Cup?" Santana asked and Marley shook her head crying even harder. She couldn't communicate. She just wanted someone to hold her until all the pain stopped and she didn't know how to say it. "Alright, alright, calm down honey, I'm here," Santana said. She checked the bed and then very carefully stood up and leaned down, almost laying herself on top of Marley. "Shhh, Mommy's here," she said and without too much effort, she was able to shift Marley and herself so that they were both in the bed and she was holding Marley to her. Marley laid her head on Santana's chest and did her best to calm down. "There's my baby girl, there you are. I love you so much Marley, you're completely safe with me, you know that don't you?" she asked her gently.
"Mama," Marley whimpered.
"Mama Rae isn't here sweetheart, she'll be here later today and so will Papa," Santana said.
"Mommy," she whimpered.
"Yes baby, Mommy's here, you're safe, and we're going to lay here together. You and Mommy, sweetheart. We're going to lay here together and stay cuddled up close, until you're calm," she told her. An hour later, Kurt and Rachel were walking into the room and Santana smiled at them.
"She missed you, but if you wake her up, I'll kill both of you," she said protectively.
"I don't know if I like you as a Mama Bear, unless we're your cubs," Kurt said simply.
Hi everyone. I hope that you are all doing well and I'm glad you are enjoying the story that I somehow managed to create. This chapter is MUCH shorter than my last ones, but it needed to be. As I was writing it, I felt that all the characters needed a break.
To all my reviewers thank you SO MUCH! The reviews are so heart warming and make me feel so good.
To my followers, thank you. I'm always glad to see that a new person has joined my following. Please also feel free to add a review. You may end up sparking something and I promise that anyone who gives me additional inspiration will get credit!
I appreciate all the support that I'm getting. Still massive major props to Nayafan, UnholyUnderBoob, & Beaner008. Without their works, this would not have been inspired.
I haven't said this yet, but I think it goes without saying. I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. The ones that you don't recognize, I just made them up. If they inspire you in some way, then feel free to borrow them, just please give me credit! :)
I wish you all the best and if I will update again next Sunday!