The Unconventional Misadventure of Sonia Perkins
Chapter 5: Romeo and Juliet
At this point in the night, what I had hoped was all the dwarves, were seated at the dining table. The reign of terror had begun the second I took my seat beside Renna. Food was flung in every direction and I had to dodge a mushroom and a piece of pork already. A red haired dwarf to my right had caught a slice of meat in his mouth, all the dwarves had shouted and laughed, well they shouted about pretty much everything I had figured out.
The red haired dwarf seated to my right proceeded to eat most of the food within reach in a truly admirable time. After gawking for a while at the obvious reincarnation of Takeru Kobayashi he turned his head to me slightly and introduced himself as Bombur. I replied with my name and a smile but he was already preoccupied with a chicken leg. I had decided I liked him.
After a few more moments of dodging food, the dwarf named Fili was now stomping over the table ducking beneath the black iron chandelier that hung above. I honestly don't know how he did that without stepping on someone's food. "Who want's an ale?" He bellowed drowning out the chaos. He bent over handing one down to me with a smile "There you go Lady Sonia" he pulled it back suddenly. Oh God. What did I do wrong now.
"Are you old enough to drink an ale ?" He inquired, that smirk returning.
I genuinely wasn't sure, I thought frantically of what the dwarven drinking age was. I was never that into drinking alcohol anyway, Like when is everyone going to stop pretending it actually tastes nice? Renna as usual had taken it upon herself to save me during my hour of need. Regardless of what her intentions were I took the interjection gratefully.
"She is" She said standing with a smile. "And so am I" with that she took both ales from his hands and sat back down.
"Laddie, get off the table!" The dwarf with the bald head and tattoos had interrupted Fili's stumped expression. He took his seat next to Kili who was directly across from me. How did I not notice this particular detail until now. I looked down at my plate now very interested in a potato. I am Irish after all (well I thought I was) our whole county went into famine because one little vegetable caught a cold or whatever it is that happens to vegetables. Anyway as I was saying, potatoes are sacred to Irish people. One million people died in the famine and One million people had to move to places that still had potatoes like america.
Renna nudged me while taking a drink "Do you know him ?" she whispered as she put it down. Frantically I waved her question away. Considering they were just across the table and I didn't exactly want them to over hear.
Renna left her seat and head towards the hall. I pushed my chair back sighing dramatically as I went to follow her. Kili's brown eyes met mine momentarily, he had smiled but I was already turning from him before I could return it. Great. Now he's going to think I'm horrible. It's not even that big of a deal why did she have to get all worked up over it ?
The hall was virtually empty apart from Renna.
"So" she questioned "How did he know your name ?" her mouth twitched into a slight smile as I retold my earlier encounter with the brothers. Leaving out a few things of course.
"Oh Mahal!" she did a kind of half twirl "Ha!" I was getting embarrassed all over again. Dammit. I huffed heavily leaning against the wall, which didn't actually work out thanks to Hobbit architecture.
"What's funny about that ?" I snarled partly fed up with the jeering and the fact that my habit's weren't taken into consideration when Bilbo's house was being designed and built.
She turned to me slightly more serious "Nothing actually. He's from the line of Durin so it could never be"
"Oh so that's why your eager to know why he know's my name, Juliet." To be honest I couldn't blame her it was a pretty good gene pool.
Ignoring my comment and very obvious reference to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet she continued "Besides these dwarves are different from us, I might not even appeal to him"
"Nahh Renna, your beautiful" I assured as she sat down on the floor beside me.
"I know" she said simply before continuing "but usually by our age dwarven women would have long luxurious flowing beards-"
"WHAT!?" I exclaimed my voice having gone up a few octaves. She looked at my startled expression, mirth dancing in the depths of her eyes. I had always liked her eyes they reminded me of woodlands, an elegant mixture of dark greens mixed with flecks of hazel. She turned to me replying casually "We usually get our beards a bit later"
"You better be joking" I laughed out as I touched my smooth chin.
"No, I'm not didn't you notice mothers ? probably not, she usually let her hair hang past her ears and it's only slight along her jaw" Her voice wavered slightly as we both remembered her and our home. After some time, she breathed out "How are the memories coming along Sonia ?"
I wanted to tell her I remembered everything, that all the times we played as kids, every time I learned a new lesson growing up, being with Mom and Dad and just living in Carasheim were all back. But it felt as if a thick fog hung just before everything. If I could just wave it away I could see everything. Renna did her best, telling me my life story from her point of view, throwing in the odd funny story every once in a while.
I felt like I had betrayed my mother back in earth. I remember getting on her nerves at some point everyday, we fought a lot but I always knew she loved me and I her. It felt fake now, and I couldn't help feeling bitter at everything in Middle Earth for taking that away from me. God this is getting emotional fast.
I suddenly lifted my head at the sound of two voices, standing above us, were none other than Fili and Kili. They were both smiling as Fili stepped forward addressing Renna. "I don't believe I properly introduced myself" he said, taking her hand as she stood "Fili, at your service, and this is my brother Kili" he announced placing his lips to her hand. Oh. I suddenly felt as though I was interrupting something.
"Renna o-" I could tell by the momentary shit scared expression that went as soon as it came, that she had come pretty close to giving away our ancestry. Ha haha. Mental note to tease her about it later.
"At yours and your family's!" she corrected flawlessly. hmm, apparently that was the correct response. Renna: 1 Sonia: (pretty sure it's a minus at this stage but I'll be generous) 0.
They had then waffled on asking numerous questions that I let Renna take. Of course it was all along the lines of 'Where are you from' and 'why don't you have beards' *dramatic internal scoff* like Kili could talk. Which he wasn't I had just noticed. I looked up and saw that his eye's had been on me as I had stared glassy-eyed at the floor. I had probably looked like an idiot.
His dark brown eye's studied my expression as I looked up and made eye contact with him. "Will you and your sister be accompanying us on our quest to reclaim Erebor" he asked, with his oh so charming voice. My face reddened at the mere proximity of us and in that moment I was thankful for the golden glow the candle light dispersed through the room.
"Ahm" I coughed out testing my voice so I didn't sound like bloody Morgan Freeman "Gandalf proposed the idea to us, whether or not the leader of this company accepts or not will determine if we are coming with you" I ended lamely looking down at my feet. Not that he wasn't easy to look at I mean Hot damn have you seen his face ? Perfection. My cheeks flushed even redder as I was suddenly over come with the irrational fear that he could read my mind. Don't flatter yourself Sonia, this is not twilight.
Down the hall a bit, we each heard Bilbo exclaim loud enough for us to hear "confusticate and bebother these dwarves!" Rude Bilbo. Rude. He had then proceeded to complain about us to Gandalf, who just stood there smoking his pipe until a dwarf (with and obvious fondness for knitted cardigans and mittens) stepped out of the the dining room holding a plate. His face was softer and more boyish looking than any of the dwarves I had seen so far.
"Excuse me Mister Baggins but what should I do with my plate ?" He asked politely. Before Bilbo could answer Fili called over "Give it here Ori" catching the plate that was thrown from down the hall, barely missing Renna's head as Kili pulled me out of the way. Oh sweet Jesus he was standing behind me his hand closed around my arm. I could feel his breath tickle the back of my neck despite him being at least half a head taller than me. He felt warm and I relished in the few seconds I stood there till I pulled away.
For a moment I thought this was going to turn into west side story as he dramatically stepped back and began to sing (nope) "Blunt the knives and bend the Forks" in a low voice.
All the dwarves were joining in now. Flinging Bilbo's cutlery, plates and bowls around the hall and into the kitchen where bifur washed and dried them.
Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates
Cut the cloth and trail the fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you've finished, if they are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Bilbo rushed into the kitchen expecting most of his precious fine china smashed on the floor, his face dropped slightly when he saw that everything was stacked neatly on the kitchen table. All of the dwarves thought this was absolutely hilarious as they laughed loudly. Personally I thought they were all getting high off Gandalfs second hand smoke.
They stopped laughing suddenly as two large knocks were heard from the front door. Gandalf turned to myself and Renna gravely "He is here."
Cue The Imperil March.
For those of you who don't know, The Imperil March is the Darth Vader theme music. Please Review! they get updates out faster! ;) And Thank you for Reading!