Hello my dear readers...Here it is, Chapter 6. I am going to be putting the warning out on all chapters from now on, as to what the topic of discussion will be, because I don't want anyone too surprised by something. So for this chapter, the issues, are Marley's healing body and trust issues! For the healing body, expect MINOR discussion of bodily functions. For trust issues, expect a cliffhanger, and know that next chapter is going to be even heavier than this one!
As always many many thanks to my readers, I love the reviews and PM's that I'm getting and I'm really glad you are all enjoying the story so much.
Lastly, many thanks to NayaFan, UnholyUnderBoob, & Beaner008 for their inspirations. I promise you, iv you have not checked out their stories, you SHOULD! They are incredible! Chapter 7 will be up next week.
The next morning Santana woke up early and took her phone with her into the kitchen while she worked out a breakfast. Her phone rang moments later. "Hello?" she asked as kindly as she could grimacing when she saw the name on the caller ID.
"Yes, is Santana there?" April asked.
"This is she."
"This is April, Marley's speech therapist," she said.
"I'm aware," Santana said with a bit of a bite.
"You can knock off the attitude Santana because despite your very strong opinion, my job is to help Marley and after a lot of research, I think I've figured out how to help her move along, but I need your help to do it."
Santana sighed and moved around the kitchen to look into the bedroom, to keep an eye on Marley. "Okay, you have my attention," she said.
"After weeks of research, it has come to my attention, that a pacifier may actually be the key to getting her to heal."
"Terri soaked them in vinegar, she's afraid of them now," Santana said and she watched Marley wiggle around a bit and whimper softly. "Hold on please," she said. Santana peaked around the corner and saw Marley starting to get more and more restless and the seconds went by. Rachel was already awake and in the kitchen trying to make something more for them than Santana had come up with. There was a reason that Santana was relieved of breakfast duty. "Rae, go check on her please?" she asked and Rachel nodded and left. "Continue please," she said going back to April. She was trying very hard to ignore the cries of her baby.
"Santana you get her to do amazingly progressive things. Things that Joe and I can't get her to do. She trusts you. I'm going to give you all the tools you need and then let you take it from there. I know it sounds counterintuitive at best, but if she keeps the pacifier, she won't dry out her mouth. It won't be coated in anything either. She'll be using her own saliva to keep the soft tissues lubricated, and she's had enough juice go into her that the sores on her cheeks are healing. I know it sounds wrong, but she needs this, and I'm going to give you all the medical and dental scientific studies to prove it to you. Your job is to get her sucking on a pacifier, hopefully at night as well as whenever she wants, by the end of the week," April said.
"My email is," she started and a loud scream cut through the air and the phone.
"Go. I will get it from the hospital staff," April said and she hung up.
Santana went toward the bedroom, to find Marley curled into Rachel and wailing. "Hey, hey, hey," Rachel said kindly. "Marley, it's me, it's Rachel honey, it's just Mama Rae, you're okay," Rachel tried and Santana wanted to rush to her little girl's side, but something in Rachel's voice, made her wait. Marley was gripping tightly to Rachel's body, trembling, and still stuck in whatever nightmare she was having. "Marley, look baby, look at me, you're okay, it's just Mama Rae," Rachel said again and Marley crumbled in defeat and continued wailing. "You're Mommy is going to think I'm beating you," Rachel said adjusting her slightly. She rocked her gently and hummed some nonsense song, waiting for her to calm down.
Marley rested her head on Rachel's shoulder and Santana smiled. Rachel had it under control, so Santana used the moment to sneak away to check her email. True to her word, April sent over several links for why pacifiers were good for babies, curing dry mouth, and how adults still used them to keep calm when they were under highly stressful situations. The next part of the email explained that Marley would need a Nuk5. "Google that and you should get several hits. She's your little girl, you know her best, and I know what I'm doing with my patient. If you have any questions call or email
April"
Santana took a deep breath and looked over at the bedroom where Rachel was still singing to Marley. She smiled and went over to the bedroom and move to sit next to her. "There's my baby girl," she said happily and Marley tried to crawl into Santana's lap but she let out a cry of pain, because going over to Santana required a lot of movement. Santana very gently pulled her close and rubbed her back. "Where's Teddy Bear?" she asked her and Rachel smiled and picked it up, giving it to her. "There's Teddy Bear, say thank you Mama Rae?" she coached.
"Mama," Marley said softly.
"Anything for our little girl," Rachel said and kissed her forehead. Marley's belly gurgled and Santana gave her a kiss.
"I think someone's hungry," she said kindly. "Should we have applesauce on toast?" she asked and Marley whimpered. She didn't want to do anything today. She wanted Santana to hold her forever and be the baby girl that they kept calling her. She held tight to Santana not wanting to let go and Santana sighed. She nudged Rachel's foot and smiled. "Help please?' she asked.
Rachel nodded and stood up. She opened her arms and Santana guided Marley into them.
"Mommy," Marley cried, panicking when Santana 'pushed' her away.
"I'm here love, you're okay. we just have to move you to the other room and I need Mama Rae to help me," she assured her standing up.
"Mommy," Marley cried again. Santana moved close to her and Marley hung on tightly, needing to have Santana hold her.
"Shhh, I'm right here baby, you're okay, Mommy's got you," she told her gently and Rachel frowned. According to all of Santana's descriptions, Marley hadn't been this clingy before and she was concerned that something was very wrong. "Look at Mommy baby," she said kindly and she waited for Marley to look at her. "Time for breakfast sweetheart," she told her and Marley nodded and went back to resting her head on Santana's shoulder. She didn't want to leave her arms at all, which was going to be problematic throughout the day.
Santana was working on staying calm, and Rachel moved to the kitchen to fix breakfast. She made a slice of toast and looked at Santana. "Applesauce?" she asked. Santana picked up Teddy Bear and carefully moved herself and Marley to the kitchen.
"Yes please," she said and she sat down, only to have Marley fuss and squirm until she got comfortable and then went back to resting her head on Santana's shoulder. "What happened to my lovely girl?" she asked gently and Marley let out a soft whimper.
"Mommy," Marley cried softly.
"Shhh, Mommy's here, you're okay, let's eat breakfast baby. Look, Mama Rae fixed you toast with applesauce and we'll go nice and slow," she told her lovingly as she pet her hair and Marley looked scared. She tried to make herself very small in Santana's arms and let out a soft noise of complaint. "Little baby bites my love," Santana told her and she kept her close while Rachel ripped up the toast.
"Here you go sweetheart," Rachel said gently and she offered Marley a bite which Marley accepted. She was very hungry, and Santana promised the toast would help heal her tummy, but there were two things that were more important at the moment. Marley just wanted to have Mommy hold her all day, and she didn't want to do anything grown up. She'd had too hard a night, too many terrible dreams, and she woke up to Rachel. She loved Rachel, very much, but Rachel wasn't Santana.
"Mama," Marley whimpered.
"Yes baby, you eat for Mommy and Mama Rae, and then maybe later we look for some accessories for my baby girl," Santana said holding Marley while she ate. She ate one third of her toast, before whimpering and turning away pushing her face into Santana's shoulder.
"No more?" Rachel asked kindly and Marley started to cry.
"Shhh, no need to cry baby, you're okay, you did very well, I'm very proud of you," Santana said and she held her close and looked at Rachel. "Can you get me a bagel and cream cheese?" she asked and Marley went rigid. "Shhh, rest baby, you're okay," Santana assured her and she fished around for Teddy Bear. "Here sweetheart, have this, you're okay, Mommy's here," she said and Marley stayed as still and stiff as possible.
Rachel fixed two bagels for them and sat down. "So what are your plans for today?" she asked Santana kindly.
"I have to go through some emails," she said and shot Rachel a very stern look, one that was well practiced in high school, before she put it to good use at her job. Rachel rolled her eyes and picked up Santana's phone and looked at the email on the screen. She read it over several times and looked at Santana questioningly.
"Anything else?" Rachel asked kindly.
Santana smiled and looked at Rachel. "I was thinking that maybe Mommy, Mama Rae, and Marley could all watch some tv together," she said and Rachel nodded. "Where's Kurt?" she asked after a moment.
"Early morning auditions," Rachel said and tapped a few keys on Santana's phone to bring up a google display of this Nuk5. Marley started to sink a bit in Santana's arms and Rachel smiled, taking a bite of her own bagel, before feeding a bite to Santana. "You looked like you could use some help," she said with a smirk.
"I actually need to call Miss Susan. Will you sit with her?" she asked. Rachel nodded and moved in close.
"Marley baby, I know you're so tired sweetheart, how about we go lay on the couch together while Mommy makes a phone call okay?" she asked gently.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered.
"Mommy isn't going anywhere baby. I'm staying right here, I just have to make a phone call and then the three of us can cuddle on the couch and watch movies all morning," Santana said.
"Come on love. You come sit with Mama Rae, and we'll find something we can all watch alright?" she asked her kindly. Marley went but she was a sobbing mess. Rachel helped her to lay down on the couch, covered her in a blanket and put Marley's head in her lap. "Shhh, you're okay sweetheart," she said and Marley started to fuss and whine again. "Alright, let's try something different," she said and carefully she and Marley wiggled into a more comfortable position. Rachel stretched out on the couch and Marley laid on top of her, her head resting on Rachel's chest, just below her collar bone, the sound of a heartbeat, finally breaking through all of Marley's sobs and whimpers. "You're safe Marley. Mommy is right over there and she'll be here to join us very shortly," she told her. Marley just cried herself to sleep on Rachel's body, her hands having a death grip on Rachel's shirt.
Susan looked around the room and sighed. There was a massive mess of toys on the floor of the nursery room and she shook her head and smiled. She pulled out her phone and took a few pictures before going up to the front desk.
"Nicole love, can you send these five pictures to little Joey, he'll be getting a reminder lesson on his next visit about how important it is to pick up toys," she said seriously and Nicole nodded.
"Oh, and before I forget, this is from Santana. She called earlier wanting to talk to you, but you were in session," she said handing her the message.
"Is she alright?" Susan asked reading it over.
"She just sounded stressed, and her little girl was in the background bawling it sounded like."
"Poor Santana, she's doing her best and she still feels so lost," she sighed and went to talk to Beth.
She knocked softly on the office door and Beth didn't look up from her paperwork. "Come in," she called.
Susan walked in, sat down, and smiled. "I need a consult please," she said.
"You?" Beth asked with concern.
"Not for me, for Santana, she called earlier and asked for help. Before I go talking to her, I wanted to talk to you," Susan said.
"Do you think I know more about little ones than you?" Beth asked on a challenge.
"Not at all Miss, I think you know Santana better than I do though, and I think we should come up with a plan together, so that she feels more sure of herself and can gain back some of her confidence," Susan said and Beth smiled.
Standing up, Beth moved over to Susan and gave her a strong and loving kiss. "There is a reason we have you as our head Nanny my darling," she told her. "On your next off session, I want you to schedule something special for yourself, okay?" she asked and Susan nodded. "Now, what should we do to help Santana?" she asked.
"Santana doesn't know how to introduce pacifiers into the daily routine."
"Why pacifiers?"
"The speech therapist sent over documentation stating that pacifiers will help at night. If she keeps her mouth closed while she sleeps, the sores won't dry up. She won't wake up in pain every morning, but because Terri abused her and made everything that should be fun, torturous. Santana is confused. She wants to help her get over that and apparently all Marley has done as of," she explained pausing to look at the message in her hand, "nine this morning and three thirty this afternoon, is cry and sleep."
"That's a very stressful day. Alright, get me the speech therapist on the phone, I'll talk to her. You call Santana give her some kind of comfort, insight to what might be making Marley so upset, and then we'll set up a skype tonight. I have a session pretty soon. As soon as I finish that, I will help Santana in any way I can," she said.
Susan nodded and left the room. She went into the conference room and dialed Santana. After two rings, a different voice answered. "Ms. Lopez," Kurt said.
"Yes, is Santana there please?"
"Um, she's a little busy at the moment. Who's calling please?" he asked.
"My name is Susan, I'm calling from Eve's Garden."
"Oh, the club, okay, hold on," he said hurriedly.
"It's alright dear," Susan started.
"No, it's okay. She's waiting to talk to you, she's just having a small argument with Marley. Give me a few moments please," he said and put the phone down.
In the background, Susan heard soft murmurs and then screams of anxiety and then Santana got on the phone. "Hello?" she asked.
"Well hello yourself my love," Susan smiled and Santana broke down into tears. "Oh honey," she said.
"It's... It's just so much, and I, I don't know, how... how to make her feel any better. She's been crying all day, trying to stay in my arms, and I love her, but sometimes a person likes to go to the bathroom in privacy. I'm messing this up, I don't know what to do," she said not paying attention to what was going on in the other room and trying to control her own breathing
"Santana honey. You aren't messing this up. Marley loves you a great deal. She trusts you and while it is nice to go to the bathroom alone, isn't it nice to know that Marley doesn't care about any of that? All she is focused on is that her Mommy is with her. That's what you were afraid wouldn't happen, so I want you to see this as a success," she told her. "That's first, secondly, I want you to listen. What do you hear?"
"Nothing," Santana said after a moment and she started to cry all over again.
"It's alright sweetheart, that's a good thing. Marley is with your room mates and in good hands and obviously they have gotten her to accept that they are safe as well," Susan said.
"I can't mess this up Miss Susan," Santana said worriedly.
"I know that's what you're afraid of darling and I'm so proud of you for admitting it," Susan praised. "I spoke to Miss Beth honey. We want to help you as much as we can, so you just have to hang in there for a few more hours and then as soon as Miss Beth is done with her last session, we'll set up a Skype. In the mean time, I have some tips for you do deal with fussy babies okay?" she asked.
"Fussy is an understatement," Santana laughed, brushing away her tears.
Susan smiled and spoke kindly. "First you cover the basics. Is she wet, dirty, or hungry. If the answer to all those is no, in Marley's case, you check for muscle spams. I know you know how to do that. Joe told us how wonderful you are with her. If that's still not the problem, I want you to check for sleep. She's going to have a tell, it's almost like poker. Look for something that she does repeatedly and then watch if her eyes get heavy, or if she's cuddled into you, her body will get heavy as sleep tries to take over her. She might try to fight it though, so you have to watch for that. The last thing to look for is anxiety. If something is stressing her out, it doesn't matter how tired she is, the anxiety will keep her up and awake and tired," Susan explained and as she spoke Santana wrote everything down.
"Okay, I think I can handle that. Does Marley need to be around for skype?" she asked.
"From what it sounds like, you're not going to be able to let her go. If she's there, that's fine, if she isn't that's fine too. She can come and go as she pleases alright? Miss Beth and I don't have any problem with that, and if need be, based on what you're saying, I'm willing to even talk to your room mates, while you spend time with Marley" Susan explained.
"Thank you Miss Susan," Santana said calming down, feeling a little bit better.
"Santana, you are strong and powerful, and we are very proud of you here," Susan told her.
"Marley, you have to eat sweetheart," Rachel told her. It was now dinner time. Marley was dressed in her pajamas for the evening. She was seated in Kurt's lap, because when she sat on her own, she kept toppling over to the side and he was afraid she was going to hurt herself. It wasn't even just to the left, it was both directions. She was exhausted and holding herself up properly was just too much for her. It also didn't help that her Mommy wasn't there.
"Papa made your favorite too sweetheart. Look, chicken and mushrooms and rice, you love all of those things and the rice will help your tummy," Rachel tried.
"Mommy," Marley whined.
"Shhh, no whining sweetheart. Mommy is in the shower, she'll be out very soon. Listen to me. If you want to feed yourself you can. If you want one of us to do it, we will, but you have to tell me what you want. I'm not a mind reader my love," Rachel said kindly, hoping she sounded like Santana. She'd been studying her for the past twenty four hours. Sometimes Santana was very gentle and sometimes she was a little bit firmer.
Marley saw the steam billowing off of her plate, that looked entirely too large to begin with and she started to cry all over again. Terri used to feed her food that was too hot. She'd have to swallow it fast and burn her esophagus, or spit it out. Most times it would burn her face and she would make a mess of herself. Once she spit it out in her hand and burned her palm it was so hot. If she didn't finish food, Terri accused her of being wasteful, if she ate too much, Terri would force her to throw some of it up, telling her she was being too greedy and would get fat. Marley now had a terrible relationship with food and the plate before her, while it smelled good, was just too big, and seemingly too hot for her.
She was now shaking and Kurt looked at Rachel. "She's remembering something," she said. "Look, her eyes are all glassed over," she continued looking at her and Kurt sighed.
"She's in my lap facing away, I can't really look," he said rolling his eyes.
"I hate that I don't know how to fix this," she said sadly.
"She's only been here for two days, you have to give it some time."
"I feel like I don't have it," she said honestly.
"You have all the time in the world," he assured her.
Santana soon walked into the kitchen and stood behind Rachel, rubbing her shoulders as Marley sat on Kurt's lap and cried, not even noticing that Santana had returned. She was off in her head somewhere. "What's for dinner?" Santana asked kindly and smiled sadly when Marley started crying harder and turned in toward Kurt, putting her head on his shoulder and trying to calm down, having a very difficult time of it.
"Chicken and mushroom soup with rice. It's been in the slow cooker all day," Kurt smiled.
"Oooh, my favorite," she grinned and continued to hug Rachel from behind as she watched. She could feel tension radiating off of Rachel, and she wanted to assure someone that things were gonig to be okay, even if that someone was Rachel. Santana continued to watch as Marley's cries got worse, and she went further and further into past memories. Marley moved herself so she was facing Kurt and her head went straight to his shoulder and she started to cry harder.
"Help," he said to Santana.
To everyone's surprise, Santana kissed Rachel's temple softly and then picked up the plate of food. She moved it over to a small table behind Kurt, then she picked up the chair, moved it behind him and took a seat. Deep down she loved that Marley had wanted her all day, but it was nice to have a break and watch Kurt try to bond a little better with Marley.
Santana picked up a fork and put a tiny little bit of food on it. She pulled it to her lips and blew gently, the hissing sound made Marley look at her with confusion. "Hey baby girl are you cuddled with Papa?" she asked her gently and pet her face, doing her best to move slowly so Marley didn't flinch. She still panicked when people moved an open palm near her face.
"Papa," Marley whimpered.
"Yes, Papa, he's good at cuddling isn't he?" Santana asked with a smile. It was that same sweet smile that she'd given her in the bathtub the day before. That gentle maternal smile that was coming out a lot more now that she was fully submersed in her Mommy type world. She was feeling a little more refreshed now that she'd had a shower, and knew that she was going to be talking to Susan and Beth later.
"Mommy," Marley said softly.
"Is Mommy good at cuddling too?" she asked her and Marley gave a very faint smile as Santana continued to blow on the hot food. "Who else is here baby?" she asked her. "Who else is sitting down with us?" she asked gently.
"Mama," Marley said softly and sadly, keeping her head tucked as tight to Kurt's shoulder as she could.
"Very good, and you know what, Papa made a very yummy dinner, and it's going to help your poor upset tummy feel so much better," Santana said honestly. Marley licked her lips and Santana smiled continuing to blow on the food, she knew what was freaking Marley out. "You know what, I think it's cool now, how about you take a tiny bite," she said and brought it to Marley's lips. Marley opened her mouth cautiously and then quickly closed it. "It's not that hot baby, I promise."
"Owie," Marley whimpered.
"No baby. No owie. It's not hot at all, here, you touch it first," Santana offered and she put it near Marley's hand and cupped her free hand underneath, so that in case it fell, she would be able to catch it. "It's alright Marley," Santana promised and instead of touching the food, Marley opened her mouth and waited for Santana to feed her. Marley ate the bite and then began reaching for Santana. She really wanted her Mommy, but she was going to have to crawl over Kurt to do it, and that was going to be painful.
Rachel watched happily and nodded her approval of everything to Kurt. Kurt then gave Marley a kiss to her temple. "Mmm," Santana smiled. "Is that good baby?" she asked.
"Mommy," she whimpered.
"I'm right here love, I'll feed you as much as you want to eat, but sit with Papa. He loves you so much," Santana said and Marley opened her mouth, ready for the next bite. "Do you want to blow on it this time?" Santana offered and Marley did. It was a very slow dinner, but eventually Marley finished half her plate and turned away, indicating she was full. "Alright, Mommy's going to wrap this up and you can have more tomorrow at lunch time," she said.
"Mommy," Marley whined, fresh tears immediately springing to her eyes.
"Please don't whine my love," Santana said.
"You sit with your baby, I will put away the left overs," Kurt said quickly. They changed positions and Santana stood up, holding Marley to her. Marley put her head on Santana's shoulder, keeping a death grip on Santana's pajama top.
"Shh, I'm here sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. Mommy loves her Marley, very much," she said and Marley started to calm down. "My good girl, come on, let's go walk over to the computer and have a seat. Mommy has a meeting in about ten minutes," she told her and she opened the skype program. Marley curled up in her lap and tucked her head down under Santana's chin. She turned into her chest and whimpered softly. "You're okay baby," Santana cooed gently, holding her little girl and being sure to keep her close while she searched through some sites. "Oooh, we forgot Teddy Bear, should we get Teddy Bear?" she asked her.
"I'll get it," Rachel said and she put down the clean dishes and went to help.
"Can you say thank you to Mama Rae?" Santana coached.
"Mama," Marley said with a slight smile.
"So precious my love," Rachel said and with a kiss to Marley's forehead, she left Mommy and Baby alone. She stood back watching and smiled when she noticed Santana rocking Marley gently from side to side and it impressed her more that Marley was actually falling asleep. "How are you going to move when she's out?" Rachel asked curiously.
"You and Papa over there are going to have to help me," she said.
The skype session went off and Santana quickly answered. "Good evening Miss Susan and Miss Beth," she said once they came into view on the screen.
"I see you have a very sleepy little one," Susan grinned.
"Luckily, yes," Santana said.
"Did you figure anything out after your conversation with Susan today sweetheart?" Beth asked.
"She's very anxious, but I don't know why," Santana said.
"Alright love, let's work backwards. What happened yesterday?" Beth asked.
"I'm not sure Miss. We moved her into the house. It took us half and hour for her to get up the stairs and then we spent the whole day all together. Well most of it. Rachel had a tech to get to, but other than that, we all spent the day together."
"Does she trust them?" Beth asked raising an eyebrow, apparently working something out that Santana hadn't thought of."
"I think she does. She seems to. She let's them hold her and be with her, and she'll even let Kurt be around when we change her, but if I'm not there she tends to get very upset. It usually has to be me who changes her, Ma'am," Santana said.
"It's okay to drop formalities my love, but thank you," Beth told her kindly and Santana nodded.
"Did she give you a tell yet for when she's sleepy?" Susan asked.
"I think so, she tends to put her head on our shoulders. No matter who is holding her," Santana said and Marley started to fuss. "Shhh, calm down baby, I'm here," she said sweetly.
"I want to watch Santana," Beth said kindly. "Take care of her, but let us watch, let us see if we can pick up on some other clue," she said.
Santana nodded and Marley started to cry. "Hey, hey, hey, what's going on my love?" she asked.
"Mommy."
"I"m right here baby, let's figure out what's wrong," Santana said kindly. She helped Marley adjust. Having her head on Santana's shoulder had been her go to all day long. She did it immediately and then her stomach rumbled.
"Ow," Marley whined.
"Ow means potty, should we go into the bathroom love? Should we go sit on the potty and try?" she asked gently. She heard herself and rolled her eyes. "I don't know when I started calling it that," she said thoughtfully. "Marley, that's not fair of me. What word do you like. Potty or toilet?" she asked and Marley whined and didn't answer.
"Why does that matter Santana?" Susan asked kindly and curiously, being sure to keep any accusatory tone out of her voice.
"Potty is a very baby word, and while Marley is my baby, she's not a baby. I don't want to make her feel as if I'm degrading her. I'll call it whatever she wants, but she should get a say in things. It's her life," Santana said.
"I like that answer," Susan said.
"Mommy, Ow," Marley cried.
"Alright, excuse us please ladies," Santana said and they carefully stood and Marley started to cry. "I know love, I know, but I can't carry you, as much as I want to, I'm sorry baby," she said and very carefully walked Marley to the bathroom. It was a very slow shuffle. "Rachel, I need help," Santana said. She put Marley's feet on hers and walked them into the bathroom, helping her to sit on the toilet. Marley let out a cry as her stomach rumbled a second time. "Hold her, I'll get this undone," Santana said. "Hold on to Mama Rae baby, you're okay," she told her gently and Marley carefully wrapped her arms around Rachel, trying to stay calm.
She sat down on the toilet and began screaming in pain. "Crap. Kurt! Tell Miss Susan and Miss Beth, I'm going to be a while," she said seeing how much pain Marley was in. The BRAT diet was working, but not fast enough, and when Marley went to the bathroom, it was like liquid fire pouring out of her body. When you mixed that, with the rash and two blisters that were still healing on her very delicate skin, she didn't know what else to do but scream and cry, and she knew it was okay to do that now.
Kurt went to the computer and waved. "Hello um, Misses, no wait, crap! Hold on please. Santana! Is it Misses or Ma'ams," he yelled and Susan and Beth both giggled.
"It doesn't matter!" Santana called back.
"Marley baby, don't tell Papa we know, but women in control make him very nervous," Rachel said with a slight smirk.
"They make Mama Rae nervous too," Santana said and Marley leaned toward her left, unable to hold herself up any longer, falling into Rachel who simply kissed her temple and let her rest against her as she sat.
"Not as bad as Papa," Rachel told her softly.
"Well what do I tell them?" Kurt yelled.
"Oh for the love of," Santana said and she crouched in front of Marley. "Can you wait with Mama Rae baby? Or do you want Papa to come in too?"
"Mama," Marley said.
"Alright sweetheart. Sit here with Mama Rae, I will be back very shortly," she promised her. She moved into the other room and shook her head. "Go, I'll do it," Santana told him kindly and as soon as Santana was out of the room, Marley started crying, wishing her Mommy would come back.
"What's happened dear?" Beth asked.
"She's in the bathroom and it's like liquid fire is pouring out of her. As soon as she's done, I'll get her cleaned up and we'll go back to resting and she will most likely fall to sleep, or be hungry. She does get hungry and she does make it clear that she wants food, so I'm grateful for that," she explained.
"That's good Santana, that's actually very good, but we've been thinking. Marley wanted to be a baby, because she thought it would be a very great experience."
"Instead she fell into the hands of the devil and now she's this broken, sad, creature," she said sadly.
"She's not broken, Santana, you are helping her, and you're doing more than you think. You automatically call it potty, and she didn't fight you. She didn't even choose, which makes me think one of two things. She still wants what she originally wanted, and with you while she may feel safe, she's embarrassed to tell you she still wants it."
"Or?" Santana asked raising an eyebrow.
"Or, she's still healing and she can't communicate properly. You talk to her in a very gentle tone, which is what she wanted. You're doing wonderful, so what you have to do now, is talk to Marley and explain to her gently that the pacifier won't hurt her anymore. Or anything else for that matter. Baby things are not dangerous. Terri made her think they are, but you and I both know that they aren't," Beth explained.
"Miss Beth is right sweetheart. I want you to get a pacifier for her and I want Marley to be a part of the process. Be patient, it's going to take her, from the sound of it, a very long time to get used to it. Make sure you go over every detail and slowly slip in the explanations as to why she needs it," Susan said.
"What about Kurt and Rachel?"
"Have them be a part of it. Do things together as a family, as much as you can. She doesn't have to be overwhelmed, but she does have to know that she's supported, no matter what," Beth said.
"MOMMY!" Marley screamed in the background.
"Santana! Blood!" Rachel called.
"Gotta go," Santana said kindly.
"Be careful, call me if you need anything," Susan said and the skype call ended.
Santana went into the bathroom and Marley was in floods of tears. "Is she hemorrhaging?"
"No, I think a scar opened up and it's stinging her," Rachel said.
"Alright baby girl, we need to get you clean. You cry and scream as much as you feel you need to," Santana told her gently, petting her face and her hair.
Marley continued to cry and Santana had Marley bend forward, just a little bit. "Where?" she asked Rachel softly. Rachel pulled back the soft cloth that was currently pressed to Marley's bottom and when she pulled it away, there was a tiny amount of blood, smeared in a semi circle. There was also solid waste in the toilet. "Marley, you pooped," Santana said and Marley started to cry harder, her stomach rumbling again. Santana looked at Rachel and seemed to smile happily.
"I think Mommy's lost her mind," Rachel said kindly and gave Marley repeated soft kisses to her temple, to try and reassure her that everything was okay and they would get her out of pain as soon as they could.
"If she pooped, it means her intestines are healing. Pretty soon, no more brat diet, and no more liquid fire," Santana said. "Marley honey, look at Mommy," she said kneeling back down in front of her. "Mama Rae and I will clean you up. Once you're ready, we'll go sit on the couch and cuddle and watch tv, but I want you to know two things. First, I am very proud of you that you've worked so hard that your body is healing. Secondly, do you remember when I first met you? I told you that I would always reward good behavior, so you and I, and Mama Rae, and Papa are all going to talk, and we're going to figure out a good reward for our Marley," she said kissing her forehead and petting her cheeks gently.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered softly.
"I'm right here baby girl, and you did so well today. I am so proud of you," Santana told her. "I have to go get you new jammies, will you sit with Mama Rae a little longer? Then I'll be back to give you a bath," she told her. "Mama Rae can clean you up okay?" she asked.
Marley nodded her agreement and Santana left.
It was an hour later when all the members of the house were settled on the couch. Marley was curled tight between Santana and Kurt, and Rachel was resting on Santana's other side. Santana picked up her phone and tapped a few keys. "Marley, look at this picture baby, do you know what this is?" Santana asked pulling up a picture of a pacifier and showing it to her.
"I know!" Kurt said excitedly and Rachel smiled and Santana laughed.
"Very good Papa, but I didn't ask you," Santana said. "Do you know what that is my love?" she asked Marley and Marley sat stone still, but blinked. Due to her position Santana couldn't see. "Should we let Papa say it? I think he's going to burst if he doesn't get to tell me," Santana laughed.
"It's a pacifier!" he said and then he shot daggers at Santana. He didn't understand why she was showing Marley something that clearly scared her so much.
"He's so smart," Rachel said rolling her eyes.
"Do you know what people use them for Marley?" Santana asked and again Marley blinked, but it couldn't be seen. Santana felt nothing but tension in Marley's body and it was killing her that her baby was so scared of a simple pacifier. "Maybe Mama Rae knows," Santana suggested.
"I know some babies use them for comfort. They like to suck on them, and it helps them relax," Rachel said reaching over to play with Marley's hair as she spoke. "I also know that there are some grown ups who use them for bad reasons, like drugs and torture," she said and Santana shot her a look. "But I also know that there are some grown ups who use them just the way babies do. They use them to relax and calm their nerves. It gives them something easy to focus on, helps them calm their breathing, and their stress starts to go away. It's just a little more obvious than some other focusing techniques," Rachel explained and Santana nodded her approval.
"That's right, and I know that a long time ago, my sweet Marley wanted it to be something of comfort, but a very mean lady took that away from her," Santana said. "See baby, Mommy wants to give Marley a reward for her hard work and wonderful behavior," Santana said and Marley shook her head no, tears falling down her cheeks.
"Bah, baby," she whimpered.
"Marley's a bad baby?" Kurt asked her and she nodded. "I somehow doubt that very much," Kurt said. "I know that baby Marley is a very good girl who has to fight a lot harder than she ever thought she would. I know that baby Marley is very scared, and she's in pain, but she works very hard for her Mommy and Mama Rae, and Papa whenever she is asked. I think baby Marley and big girl Marley are also sometimes scared of the hard work ahead, so I think that Marley should listen to Mommy when she says that a pacifier would be a reward and not a punishment," Kurt said and Santana gave him a grateful look.
Rachel stood up and knelt down in front of Marley. "Listen to me baby girl," she said kindly. "Mommy is right, she's always said that any decision is yours and we will support you no matter what. That hasn't changed. I do however think this is something that will help you and I will never, ever tease you, or use it to punish you. Rewards are special and it's okay to like a pacifier. It's okay to want to seek comfort in something as long as you're not hurting anyone, and I promise you my sweet girl, if you suck on a pacifier, the only thing that will happen is you might actually get more comfort, and you my darling, deserve lots of comfort," Rachel said. She gave Marley a sweet kiss and then stood up.
"Mama?" Marley asked.
"I have to run to the bathroom baby, I'll be right back," she assured her.
Marley nodded and looked carefully at Santana. "Mommy?" she asked.
"What's up my love?" she asked.
"Wah," she said slowly blushing heavily, feeling hot all of a sudden.
"Try again baby, I don't quite understand," she said.
Marley looked to Kurt and pointed to Santana's phone. "Kay?" she asked him cautiously, the blush still staying heavily on her face, creeping all the way up to her ears.
"Marley, if you want the pacifier, and Mommy is offering it as a reward, then I think you should take it. You should not be afraid of it. Terri was a very mean lady who made it scary, but I don't think Mommy Santana is mean. Mommy knows that a pacifier is a good thing and will help you," he said.
"Mommy," Marley said with a small smile.
"Yes, Mommy is a good lady, and she is the one that put the smile on your face just now," Kurt told her and then kissed her temple.
"Mommy?" Marley asked.
"Yes baby?" Marley pointed to the picture of the pacifier, nodded yes, and the blush was still heavily on her face. Even her ears were red now.
"Is that a yes? Do you want Mommy to order the pacifier for you?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Alright, you get to pick three of them. One for use, a spare for when we clean the first one and a second spare to keep, just in case we misplace one somewhere," she said. "Marley my love, I'm going to promise you something right now. I'm going to promise to teach you, that you wanting to be a baby, at any time, for any reason, is not a bad thing."