The Unconventional Misadventure of Sonia Perkins
Chapter 6: Thorin Freaken Majestic Oakenshield
Smoke rose from the end of Gandalfs' pipe. He hadn't broke eye contact with us as Bilbo marched towards the door, exasperated. The dwarves eagerly flowed out of the room at his heel. Standing close to their brothers. I turned my attention back to Gandalf, he took a few slow steps around the table to stand in front of us both, as the last of the dwarves emptied out of the leaned on his staff, looking down at us "Please make an effort to keep out of sight" his voice was low "at least until I find the opportunity to introduce you both" He said gruffly, before heading towards the entrance hall, with long strides.
We stood to the back of the group, where our bags where left. I noticed another bow amid the pile, slightly more weathered than mine, I briefly wondered who among the company used it. The feathers at the end of the arrows where a dark yellow. My thought snapped back to the door as the last dwarf entered. His hair was black with one or two white streaks brushed back, despite this he did look a bit younger than a lot of the dwarves present, that or he was ageing rather gracefully. I assumed this was Thorin Oakenshield of the Line of Durin, as everyone lowered there heads to him.
"Gandalf" he greeted, stepping over the threshold. He threw a smile towards Fili and Kili, who in turn, smiled and nodded their heads slightly.
"You said this place would be easy to find" He continued addressing Gandalf, who just puffed his pipe slightly.
"I got lost twice" He said, his voice low and rough.
Something about Thorin Oakenshield made me want to shrink into myself, It was clear that he was not the type of person you wanted to cross. He had an aura of power about him, in spite of not actually being in possession of his throne.
"So" he said circling Bilbo "This is the Hobbit" He came to a stop before Bilbo, questioning him directly.
"Tell me, Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting? Axe or Sword, what is your weapon of choice ?"
Bilbo paused shortly; thinking, then he proceeded to smile smugly as he puffed out his chest "Well I do have some skill in conkers if you must know"
I let out a blunt laugh/snort unexpectedly. Kili moved blocking my view of Thorin (It's like those cheap cinemas all over again) He inclined his head to me a little, sending me a disapproving but amused look.
"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." said Thorin, gruffly. Everyone laughed at his incredibly witty joke. I was reminded of school, when a teacher attempted to make a joke in class and everyone forced out loud laughs in trying to get off a bit of homework.
Back at the dining table everyone was seated, the atmosphere a stark difference this time round. Thorin was seated at the top of the table, swallowing the occasional spoon of soup. Apparently that was almost all Bilbo had left. I unintentionally looked at Bombur sitting to my right, who had the dignity to smile back at me sheepishly.
Thorin acknowledged all the dwarves present at the table until his eyes fell on myself and Renna. She met his gaze directly and I followed suite. He looked as though he was about to say something when Gandalf spoke up "You requested that I find the remaining members of your company, Thorin Oakenshield. And here they are"
"I do not believe you are treating this quest with the importance that it requires" his voice was toneless, like he was trying to cover up his reaction "You cannot expect me to bring women on a quest" he finished letting out a low laugh. Most of the company stared at us and some looked anywhere but us. I scowled at the table while Renna focused on glaring at Thorin. I could feel my cheeks heating gradually.
"In my lifetime I have seen men do great things, through greed, pride, revenge and the hunger for power they carry out monumental feats. Women have a different kind of strength, I think, compassion, love, the instinct to protect and put others first. I believe, that in the end, that is what this quest will need more than anything" he ended gravely, wrapping his hand around his cloak and giving the company a quick once-over.
Thorin glanced at the dwarf with the tattoos as he spoke with his loud voice "The wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves!"
"That is true master Dwalin" said Gandalf "however that should not be a problem here, I have chosen, Lady Sonia who is a skilled archer" Thanks Gandalf, no pressure there at all "and Renna who has mastered the art of sword play" well I definitely can't argue with that. I brought my eyes up from the table to meet the gaze of the company.
Thorin's icy blue eyes scrutinised us from the top of the table. He exhaled "Fine. Balin, give them the contract"
The table erupted in cheers of delight as the contract was handed down the table along with a pen. I took them both and signed my name handing them to Renna. The company proceeded to introduce themselves which ended up sounding like some bizarre rhyme.
"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" asks Balin once the racket had started to die down a bit. "Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms" replied Thorin gruffly.
"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us? Thorin hesitated for a moment before answering Dwalin "They will not come." I looked across to Kili, he along with the other dwarves muttered in some language, visibly upset by this news. "They say this quest is ours, and ours alone."
Gandalf gestured towards Bilbo who had paced in the hall behind Thorin "Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." As Bilbo left the room, Gandalf unfolded a map that had been somewhere inside his grey cloak "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak" He placed the map on the table and pointing to the mountain, as Bilbo brings in a candle.
Bilbo leaned in between Thorin and Gandalf as he read absent-mindedly from the map "The Lonely Mountain" Gloin the dwarf with the dark red beard with all the clasps thumped his fists on the table "Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say: it is time."
The dwarf in question, Oin confirmed the company of this "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold. When the birds of the old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."
"Uh...what beast?" inquires Bilbo looking around for an explanation. "Well that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals." said Bofur light heartedly as he took a break from his pipe.
"Yes, I know what a dragon is." insisted Bilbo. His intelligence (unintentionally I'm sure) having been insulted.
Balin sat forward "The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just fifteen, and not fifteen of the best, nor brightest"
"Hey! Who are you calling dim?" The dwarves began to shout. Again. I groaned as Renna joined the uproar.
Fili who was sitting just across the table from us "We may be few in number. But we're fighters, all of us! To the last dwarf!" He said slamming his fists on the table. "And you forget we have a wizard in our company, Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." adds Kili. For the next few moments the dwarves argued over this until Thorin stood from his chair furiously "Enough!"
"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" there was a round of cheering.
"You forget the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain." spoke up negative nancy once again. "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." said Gandalf pulling a key from thin air and holding it before the company. Thorin gazed at it his mouth slightly open. "How came you by this?" he said obviously on the verge of bursting into tears.
Personally I'd be a little angry if I found out someone had hidden the key to my mountain in their pocket.
"It was given to me by your father, Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." said Gandalf handing it to Thorin.
"If there is a key, there must be a door!" decided Fili. Must refrain the urge to slow clap.
"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls." spoke Gandalf pointing to the map.
"There's another way in" marvelled Kili, grinning. Obviously the line of Durin is playing 'who can state the obvious the most' tonight.
My eyes lingered on Kili for a while as Gandalf spoke "Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage."
Once more I couldn't help myself as I snickered. "No, Sonia the 'small' part is not a joke in reference to the fact that I am in a room full of fifteen dwarves and a hobbit" He said dryly while Kili winked at me from across the table, a few dwarves tried to cover up their laughter with coughs. "But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."
"That's why we need a burglar." declared the dwarf known as Ori. "Hmm. And a good one too." observed Bilbo "An expert, I'd imagine."
"And are you ?" Inquired Gloin as everyone turned to await Bilbo's answer. "Am I what?"
Oin, who listened through a little horn clearly heard wrong when he exclaimed "he's an expert!"
Bilbo looked more offended and flustered than ever "Me? No! No, No, No! I...I'm not a burglar." He then continued to refuse any claims that he had ever led any theft related lifestyle.
Suddenly Gandalf rose from his chair as the room darkened "ENOUGH! IF I SAY BILBO BAGGINS IS A BURGLAR THEN A BURGLAR HE IS! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the sixteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself."
"Give him the contract." Renna passed the contract up the table to Balin. He rose to his feet holding the contract "It's just the usual summary about the pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." He said passing it to Thorin who in turn passed it back to Bilbo.
"Funeral arrangements, uhh ?" says Bilbo, flipping through the contract, muttering it to himself.
He turned over another page "Incineration?" Bofur leaned around Thorin "Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye" Bilbo's face paled considerably. Placing his hands just above his knees and leaning over, he exhaled and inhaled sharply.
"Ye alright Laddie ?" asked Balin.
"Huh? Yeah, I fe..." he took a breath.
"I feel a bit faint"
"Think furnace, with wings" added Bofur helpfully.
"I...I...I need air" with that I pushed back my chair, it screeched loudly and everyone bar Oin looked my direction. Renna looked startled "Son-"
"Flash of light, searing pain, then puff! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!" continued Bofur as I pushed passed him. Thorin turned around in his chair.
Bilbo thought for a moment then looks over at the dwarves "Nope" he squeaks out before fainting. I did a kinda skip/jog thing before catching him not as ungracefully as I would have thought.