A/N - Thank you to UltimateDoctorWhoFanGirl, skidney, ConfusedSoAmI, fanficgurl57, Orchidellia, Eternal Awesomosity, MayFairy, and Lady Island Rose for reviewing!

This chapter was requested by Lady Island Rose!

Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who. I only own my OC, Emma Walker.

"Emma!"

The frantic knocking — it sounded more like kicking — on the door had Emma scrambling to turn off the bathtub. When she flung open the door, she expected the Doctor to be missing some limbs, but instead a baby was shoved in her face and she had to stumble back to avoid being kicked in the shin. They'd found the baby, Jonathan, abandoned in the street an hour or so before and neither of them could leave him there, so they took him. They were trying to locate his parents, but since it would take a while, the Doctor told her, "Have a bath or something. I can take care of him." and she was happy to do so.

"What's the ma-" She cut off, a hand going up to cover her mouth and nose. "Good Lord, what is that smell?"

"Yes, see, he's told me that he's soiled his nappy."

"So?" She fought to keep from gagging. "Change him!"

He was holding the baby between them at arms length. "I don't have any clean nappies! He said to find you! He said that mums always have nappies."

"I'm not a mum!"

"He said that milk thingies equal mum!"

"You know that's not true!"

"I decided to trust his judgment!"

"Oh, give him to me!" She snatched Jonathan out of his hands, adjusting the baby onto her hip. "The baby whisperer can't even take care of you, can he?" She bounced him as she pulled open the cupboard beneath the sink, ignoring the Doctor's glare. She grabbed a package of baby wipes. "Good thing I have these to remove makeup, huh?" No matter how sweet she made her tone, he continued to cry. "You," holding the baby and the wipes in one hand, she grabbed onto on of the Doctor's suspenders with the other. "come with me." She dragged him to her bedroom before she finally let go. It snapped against his chest and he went to let out a yell, but didn't get the chance. "Grab that towel, would you?" Muttering to himself, he picked up the towel she was referring to. "Put it on the bed." After he did as she said, she placed Jonathan on top of it and stepped back. "Well?"

He looked from her, to the baby and back again. "What?"

"Change him while I find something suitable for a temporary nappy."

"I've never changed a baby before! You change him."

"You're right." She sighed. "I mean, you clearly have no experience and I've babysat before...but I've never smelled anything that bad before and I'm afraid I might get sick all over him." She smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "Good luck."

He gulped and turned to Jonathan, who was still wailing. "Alright, if I do something wrong, you'll tell me, won't you?" He got no response. "Right. Just cry." He hesitantly reached down and snapped open the onesie. It took him a minute to figure out how the diaper worked, but he managed and as soon as he did, he groaned. "No, I don't want to do this anymore. I didn't want to do this in the first place!" He looked over to Emma. "You do it."

"No!" She lifted a shirt up to look at it. "I mean, who knows? You might meet a nice alien lady someday and have kids with her. I highly doubt she'll want to take care of your babies all by herself. Plus, I like to see you all squirmy."

"Oh, I'll like to see you all squirmy when I put a spider in your bed tonight." She didn't hear him. At least, she pretended she didn't. He tore a wipe out of the package and attempted to clean up some of the mess.

"Before I forget, warm up a wipe before you use it because if it's too cold, the baby will-" She turned around just in time to see a small, yellow stream shooting into the Doctor's face. "-pee." She threw a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle.

The Doctor's eyes and mouth were clamped shut and he was vibrating with anger. "I have...he just...he used me as a toilet! And he thinks he's funny!" The baby did, in fact, think it was funny, laughing and grinning to himself. Emma couldn't help but join in, tears pricking the corners of her eyes from laughter.

"Maybe you could be the nappy until we get him back to his parents."

She had to duck to avoid being hit in the head with the package of wipes.

A/N - I hope this was humorous enough for you! As always, requests are welcome.