Hello everyone,
Guess what, you get another bonus chapter this week, because it's my friend's birthday weekend and I know that they are potentially down about some things going on their life at the moment.
As always, squick factor warnings for this chapter, minor, I'll give it a four on a scale of 10. Forced anal penetration.
Some baby talk explanation. I took a course in college about language. The way the tongue sits in your mouth, is very crucial in pronouncing certain letters and combinations of letters. If you never understand something Marley is saying, PM me or leave it in a review and I will gladly explain. A guest reviewer of this story - Kali - asked what F-eye meant. Marley was given a time out of six minutes, she only wanted five, and while she could say the F sound, the V sound, in her condition, is still painful for her.
That being said, some of you have guessed at what BABA means, and some of you have given me your insight as to what it might mean. So far, the guesses are wrong, and the insight is close, but you haven't guessed it yet. Marley has said the word pee several times. Please, is what she's trying to say, but L's and S's and Z sounds are not easy for her, so she just eliminates those sounds.
Last but not least, major thanks to NayaFan, UnholyUnderBoob, and Beaner008 for all their inspirations.
Wishing you all the best!
The next morning Marley woke up in a panic. "No, no, no!" she shrieked and Santana quickly pulled her close. "No, no, no, no baba," she cried and the tears started immediately and Santana began speaking.
"Marley. Do you hear Mommy? Can you hear Mommy Santana?" she asked her keeping her close, rocking her a little bit, and petting her hair.
"No baba," she cried, tears running down her cheeks.
"Shhh," Santana said and she pulled Marley tight and guided Marley's head to her shoulder, so she could find something familiar in her current state. She was definitely not all here, somehow stuck in her head still. She picked up her cell phone and called over to the club.
"Eve's Garden," Nicole answered.
"Nicole, thank goodness. It's Santana. I need to talk to Miss Susan immediately if possible," she said.
"You have great timing, hold on," Nicole said.
Santana heard the music for a few seconds before Susan answered. "Santana my love, how are you?" she asked her.
"I need help," Santana said and Marley let out an ear piercing scream. "Marley baby please," Santana said and she shifted them both a little bit. "She keeps screaming about a baba and how she doesn't want one, and I tell her I won't give one to her, but I don't know what she's talking about, so I feel like I'm lying," she said honestly.
"Calm down Santana. Just breathe for a moment. Once you're calm, it'll help her calm down too. Give it a few minutes and then we'll go over it again," Susan said kindly. It took five minutes of silence but then there was calm and quiet and Susan smiled. "Now, again, tell me what it is she doesn't want."
"She keeps sayin A," Santana said spelling the word rather than saying it.
"Have you tried bottles? Maybe just showing her a picture?"
"Yes, but she thinks those are funny. We can't figure out what is funny about them, but she's okay with those, so it's not that."
"Alright, well then you have to think about the meaning of it. Bottles put things into people, so you have to think about things that go in," Susan explained.
"Okay, thank you Miss," Santana said and a few moments later, the two of them hung up and Marley let out another scream of pain and anguish.
All the screaming had woke Rachel and she went out to see if she could help. She knelt next to Marley and pet her hair. "Shhh, Mommy's got you Marley, and Mama Rae is right here," she said on a yawn and continued to pet and stroke Marley's hair and face, hoping to help in some small way.
"No baba, no baba," she cried and Rachel felt her heart break.
"I wish we knew what that was," Rachel said.
"I wish that too," Santana said. "I called over to the club and spoke to Miss Susan. I am now to think about what it means, because it's not about an actual bottle. Those are funny for some reason, but what she's afraid of, apparently has a meaning, so I have to figure out the whole meaning thing," Santana said.
"Yay help," Rachel said softly and Santana rolled her eyes.
"It wasn't as much as I wanted," she admitted. Marley's eyes fluttered closed as sleep started to take over her body again and then she screamed in pain and Rachel quickly moved to her calf, so that she didn't knee Santana in the crotch as her calf went into spasm, forcing her leg to jerk upward. Rachel got a tight hold and massaged her carefully until her cramp relaxed and Rachel sighed. "How about a banana?" she asked, mainly directing it at Santana.
"How about oatmeal for breakfast instead," Santana said. "I don't want to repeat foods too many times for her. I went over the report for the millionth time. Terri was rare to mix up food," she explained.
"With brown sugar and strawberries for taste," Rachel smiled and she got up to fix breakfast. Santana smiled at her and then leant back on the couch, having Marley rest on top of her, and Marley simply cried.
"Oh, we are having a very bad day. I'm so sorry baby," she told her and Marley let out a squeal of pain and put a death grip on Santana's shirt, the fabric oozing through the small spaces between her fingers, and Santana did her best to sooth her, but nothing seemed to be working. "Come on, we sit up and maybe Mama Rae will feed you," she said and Marley tried to curl further into Santana's body. "Shhh, easy my love, very easy, because your muscles are very sore and tense and lacking nutrients. Mama Rae is making you oatmeal and we'll help you eat it and then no more pain, I promise baby, okay?" Santana said and she cuddled Marley close, but Marley didn't say anything any more. She just went back to blinking or nodding.
Rachel came over and sat on the coffee table. "Alright sweetheart, it's not hot, I promise. See, look here. No steam. Mama Rae would never give you anything that would hurt you," she told her. "Tiny bites baby," Rachel told her kindly and fed her a small spoonful of oatmeal with brown sugar and a tiny piece of a strawberry, so that it wasn't so bitter. Marley ate and after a few bites, she was done and turned away from Rachel and into Santana, hiding her face from the world and crying softly.
"No baba, no baba," she cried.
Rachel sighed and took a big spoonful of oatmeal for herself and then offered a spoonful to Santana who gratefully accepted. "It's going to be a long day," Santana said.
Marley woke up a few hours later and looked around, not seeing Santana. Instead of being calm like normal, she immediately panicked. "Mommy," she cried softly, and she laid there crying, not bothering to sit up or look around. She scolded herself while she laid there. They probably left her because she kept telling them no. She was going to just lay there forever, she couldn't say much, she couldn't move without assistance, and now she was all alone, not even in a hospital. The teddy bear that Santana had bought was near her and she heard voices in the other room, but it sounded wrong. None of them sounded like voices she knew. Tears were cascading down her face now and she sniffled a few times and brushed away her own tears.
The soft noise had gotten Santana's attention and she moved to the doorway to check on Marley, who she thought was sleeping. "Hey baby girl," she smiled. Marley didn't say anything, she just looked terrified. Santana sighed and got down on the floor and sighed. "You're having a bad day, aren't you honey?" she asked her and Marley blinked twice, purposefully lying. Santana kept a neutral face and laid down on the floor so she was in a mirrored position. "Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake," she told her and she reached her hand out.
"I'm going to tell you a little story okay?" she asked and Marley blinked once. Santana smiled and started her story. "When I first came to New York, I was really scared. I knew Mama Rae, and I knew Papa, so I knew some people, but other than that, it was all a big mess, and a lot of times, I had to act really really brave, even though inside I was shaking because I was really really scared. Do you know that Mommy gets scared?" she asked her and Marley blinked twice. "Then that makes Mommy a very good actress, because Mommy has been scared a lot lately," she said and she waited for a response, but didn't get one. "Mommy is afraid for her baby girl Marley. She's afraid for big girl Marley too," she said. "When I first met you, I needed to make sure that you were taken care of and it scared me to know I wouldn't be with you at all times, to be extra sure that my little girl would be cared for, because from the first moment I read about you, I knew for sure you were, you are, my little girl," she said.
Marley's tears started to flow faster and she started to shake a bit, even under her blanket. She didn't know why Santana was claiming her as her little girl. "Shhh, take a breath, you're okay," she assured her. "See, this is what scares Mommy so much. Baby Marley and Big Girl Marley are the same person, but they don't do the same thing. My big girl has to fight and be super strong all the time, and my baby girl just wants things to be easy and simple and not so scary. Big girl Marley had a lot of things taken away from her by a bully and she needs to rest. Big girl Marley has to go away and not do anything. She wants to rest. She has to rest and then Baby girl Marley come out and be with us for a little while, but it's scary to do that. It seems very scary and so I think that because she's so scared Big girl Marley went away to hide. I also think that she didn't tell Baby Marley she was going to do that. So now my big girl is scared and my baby girl is scared too," Santana suggested. I think my baby girl has to fight so much harder than she wants to. I think she wants to though," Santana ventured. "I think my baby girl is very frustrated too because she's been working so hard, and she just wants to rest and be a sweet baby girl for a while. Does that sound right?" Santana asked and Marley forced her eyes open wide. If she blinked, she would be admitting something. It would hurt to admit it. She would be letting someone down. Santana however, remained very patient.
"Marley baby, it's okay to be scared and it's okay to tell me that you need a true break and that you want to be a baby girl for a while and not work so hard. It's okay to want to play with your toys, and take naps, and watch movies all day, and not want to do physical therapy with Mr. Joe or speech therapy with Miss April. It's okay to not want to do anything other than let Mommy, or Mama Rae, or Papa take care of you," she said and Marley continued to cry harder. "You know what Mommy thinks? Mommy thinks that her baby girl needs to be catered to today. Mommy thinks that she needs to hold her baby girl and reassure her that Mommy isn't leaving and that baby Marley and big girl Marley are going to be in this house, with us, for as long as they choose to be. You never have to worry about being alone and if you feel alone I want you to call for someone, because someone will be around for you, do you think you can remember that?" Marley blinked once and Santana gave her a smile.
"Can Mommy change you?" she asked her and Marley blinked. Santana felt relief flood through her but she moved slowly. She rolled Marley to her back, and changed her carefully. The blisters and sores were gone now, but Marley still had pain all over her bottom. The emotional abuse was still with her and any little touch brought a round of fresh tears. "I love my baby girl so much and I know she is so scared, but it's okay my love. I am right here and we always go slow. You hold Teddy Bear and as soon as you're all changed, Mommy will hold you," she told her.
Rachel found them fifteen minutes later and smiled. "Hey there baby girl," she smiled taking a seat in front of them. "Did you have a nice nap this morning?" she asked her and Marley didn't answer, she sunk further into Santana and Rachel frowned. "I'm sorry baby," she told her. "Little kisses and then I'll let you and Mommy sit together okay?" she asked her and Rachel stood up to leave and Marley started bawling, reaching for Rachel, afraid she would leave them forever. "That's new," Rachel said freezing in her spot, not sure of what to do first as they both watched in stunned silence at Marley's open mouth wailing.
"Shhh, you're okay baby. Mama Rae didn't leave yet, it's okay," Santana said kindly and Rachel sat back down.
"Marley baby, you're okay. I haven't left. I don't have to leave honey. It's up to you," she said sitting back down in front of them and Marley just cried.
"She can't cry herself to sleep again," Santana sighed.
"Maybe we all go play with the piano and give her something nice to focus on," Rachel suggested and Santana agreed. "Have you given any more thought to what Miss Susan told you earlier?" she asked quietly as they helped Marley to stand up.
"Not even a tiny idea," Santana responded just as softly.
The three girls were seated on the couch and Rachel looked at Santana. "What was your little discussion about in their before I showed up?" Rachel asked her, carefully playing with Marley's hair, kissing the top of her head as Marley rested between them.
Santana took a deep breath, she didn't want to do this, but somewhere deep down, she thought it would help. "Mommy Santana was talking to Big Girl Marley, and Baby Girl Marley and Mommy explained that it's okay to want to be a baby girl today. It's okay to want to let Mama Rae, and Mommy Santana take care of baby girl Marley," Santana said.
"I think that's a good idea," Rachel smiled. "Tell me sweetheart, what would Marley like to do?" Rachel asked and Marley got tense. "Shhh, it's alright sweetheart. Did you know that Marley can tell us anything she wants?" she asked her kindly. "It's true, she can. Marley can say anything she wants," Rachel said keeping her voice calm and gentle and Santana took the welcome break. "For example," Rachel said gently. "Marley could say she wants her piano and Mommy and Mama and Marley can play some music, or Marley could say she wants her pacifier, or her blanket, or a movie, or food, or anything she wants. Anything that our sweet baby girl wants to tell us, we want to hear," Rachel said.
Marley seemed to think about that for a moment and then looked to Santana with terribly sat eyes. "Mommy?"
"What's up baby girl?" she asked.
"Mommy, no baba," she cried and she tried to put herself up in Santana's lap and cried out sadly and tiredly.
Santana frowned and pulled her baby girl into her arms, cradling her as if she were only a very small infant. "Shhh, you're okay baby, Mommy's right here," she told her. "You know what, I think Mama Rae had a good idea. How about we get blanket and Teddy Bear, and a pacifier and just sit like this for a while," Santana said.
Rachel didn't even wait for Santana to ask her to do something, she just grabbed the items and returned. She put Teddy Bear in Marley's arms, covered her with her blanket, and put the pacifier in her hands. "Marley is in charge of this sweetheart. No one else," Rachel told her. "No one gets to put this in Marley's mouth, but Marley," Rachel told her.
Marley thought about it for a minute, put the pacifier in her mouth and turned carefully onto her side, hiding her face in Santana's chest, knowing that her Mommy had her. "My sweet baby girl," Santana said gently as she pet her hair. "Mommy loves you so much she can't possibly express it correctly."
Three days later, Marley was at least calm. They hadn't forced her to do anything over the past three days. Santana cancelled all her therapy sessions. Marley very slowly went from baby girl to toddler over the three days and by day three, she was her bright, smiley self. She was talking to Santana in broken sentences, and laughing when she saw something funny. Her new favorite game was Simon. Kurt had bought it for her the day before.
"Look baby, Papa has a new toy for you," he smiled at her and pulled it out of the bag to show her. She looked at it curiously and then held on to Santana as Kurt took it out of the package and put in the batteries. "See sweetheart, it's lights and sound," Kurt smiled. "Look, let's push start and see what happens," he told her gently and she nodded but rested against Santana.
"You have to watch lovely," Santana told her, helping her turn a little bit so she could see. Kurt pressed the start button and it beeped a sound and flashed a green light. Kurt pressed the green button and it made the same beep. Then it beeped the green button twice, so Kurt pressed it twice. This happened for a good twenty seconds before it finally gave Kurt a pattern that he didn't quite remember and the machine made a buzzing sound, which Marley found hysterical, but seemed afraid to laugh.
"It's farts?" Santana asked, a smile spreading across her face.
"It didn't fart!" Kurt said, pouting at Santana's teasing.
"I heard it," Santana said seriously pointing to it, and then turned to Marley, who had her pacifier in her mouth. "Marley baby, did you hear the machine fart?" she asked her.
"It didn't fart, it raspberried," Kurt said. "Watch," he told her and pressed the start button . When it flashed the red light, he pressed blue and the machine made the same noise.
"That was a fart!" Santana stated.
"Raspberry," Kurt protested. Meanwhile, Marley tapped Santana's shoulder and reached her hand out toward the machine.
"You want to make it fart too?" Santana asked with a smile.
"It's not a fart," Kurt said rolling his eyes.
"Go on baby, you can play with it. We'll play together for a little bit and then Mommy has to go make a phone call okay?" she asked her and Marley nodded her agreement. After some time, Santana gave her a kiss to her temple and went to make her phone call.
"Come on my love, Papa will sit with you and we'll play with the toy some more," Kurt told her.
Santana was currently in the shower and Rachel was helping Marley eat her snack now that she was done playing her Simon toy. "It's hummus and crackers baby."
"Ed," Marley said softly pointing to the hummus.
"Yes, it's roasted red pepper humus," Rachel told her. "Here, would you like to read the ingredients? I can get you the box to read it to you," she said. Marley shook her head no and carefully reached for a cracker, her hand very steady and then she tried to scoop up some humus, but was having difficulty. "I will help you if you want it sweetheart," Rachel offered and Marley thought for a moment before putting her hand in Rachel's.
"H'ep Mama," she agreed and Rachel nodded. She guided Marley's hand and the cracker toward the humus, helped her scoop some up and very carefully guided it to her mouth.
"You did great Marley! A few more attempts with help and you'll be able to do it yourself. I'm so proud of you!" Rachel praised and that was the time Santana emerged from the shower.
"You two look happy."
"Mommy, ed," Marley said pointing to the humus.
"What happened to your R's?" she asked kindly.
"Rrrr" Marley said and Santana and Rachel smiled at her little growl.
"Can you say red?" Santana coached.
"Ed," she said in carefully, and then frowned.
"Miss April says it will come back soon. You just have to practice some more sweetheart, and you're doing very well. I am very proud of you," she told her.
"I am too lovely," Rachel said and helped her get some more humus onto a cracker.
"Ed, ummy," Marley told Santana.
"I know, that's Papa's favorite flavor, we end up with a lot of it. Do you like it?" she asked. Marley nodded and then carefully grabbed another cracker and tried to feed Santana. Santana ate it happily and then gave Marley a kiss. "Thank you baby," she smiled. "So, once you finish your snack, we need to talk about what we're going to do tomorrow, because therapy is back on, which if you will remember was your decision," she said.
"I 'eady," Marley said seriously.
"I'm very glad baby girl," she told her and gave her another kiss, before going to get dressed. "Those lights were the best thing Kurt ever purchased," Santana told Rachel softly while Marley concentrated on eating some more.
After her snack, Santana gathered her courage. This was it. She was going to have to leave her baby girl for a few hours. Granted Marley would be with Rachel and Kurt, but it was still very difficult. She was leaving a still unsure pet to go experience time a new and different unsure pet. It was very daunting and though she would never admit it, she was nervous.
"Okay sweet girl, let's sit and talk okay?" she asked and Marley nodded. "You know how you're doing so well, and healing, and how Mommy is very proud of you?" she asked and Marley nodded, suddenly unsure of what was about to be said. "Well Mommy has to improve now too, and that means Mommy has to start going back to work," she said.
"I go?" Marley asked, tears immediately springing to her eyes. This was it, she was about to be disowned and left for herself because she was too much trouble, meanwhile she still couldn't crawl or walk by herself so she had to be with someone. She needed care to a certain level. She didn't know how to change herself, and she was still in diapers.
"No my sweet girl. You have to stay at home while Mommy goes to work," she said and immediately Marley started to cry. They really were going to leave her.
"I good, I good, Mommy day!" she pleaded, tears pouring down her face. "I good, I good," she repeated and Santana watched in frozen horror and Marley tried to stand up and move. Her body wasn't ready though, so her attempt to stand and show Santana how much of a big girl she was, and how much trouble she wouldn't be, she fell down on her stomach, her legs twisting underneath her and she screamed in pain, but quickly tried to stop, unsuccessfully.
"Nothing but a worthless little piece of shit!" Terri screamed as she picked up a wooden paddle and brought it down sharply on Marley's diapered bottom. The diaper however had been used and that was why she was getting this spanking in the first place.
Santana quickly pulled her little girl into her lap, wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. "Shhh, shhh, shhh, Mommy's got you baby. Mommy Santana has baby girl Marley nice and close, because Mommy Santana loves her baby girl so much. Marley is my baby and only leaves when she wants to," she explained.
"No! I good, Mommy day! Mommy!" Marley cried and she continued crying, shaking with fear as Santana held her. She pulled her little girl a little bit closer, and put her pacifier in her hand. "For you when you're ready Marley," she told her and kept her close.
Rachel had been in the shower during this whole time, but when she came out, she heard screams of terror and her heart broke. She wanted to rush out and help Santana but there was nothing she could do to help, so she just stood at the door and listened
"You are a very good girl Marley. You most definitely are. Here's your pacifier, and you only use it if you want to," she said feeling how tense Marley was. "Calm down baby, you're okay. I'm not leaving you, I just have to go to work."
"No, I good!" Marley cried, shaking so hard, that she coughed and gagged twice.
"You are Marley, you are a very good girl," Santana assured her and immediately Marley put her head on Santana's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her neck, gripping as tight as she could, which wasn't that tight at all, but Santana could feel her effort. "Mommy Santana's very best baby girl," Santana said softly, trying to have some sort of calming effect on her. Eventually Marley was calm and a little bit of a hot mess in Santana's lap. "Marley my love, you are Mommy's best girl," she told her. "But I want you to listen to me very carefully and understand what I'm saying. This is like everything else, we go slow, so that I know, you understand. You squeeze Mommy's hand when you're ready," she told her gently, kissing her temple and rocking her a little bit, side to side to help calm her further.
"Mommy," she said softly.
"Yes baby?"
"Eye," she said, holding up her hand and opening and closing her fingers, signing the word light, as best she could.
"I can get your light game, we can play together, but you're still going to have to tell me when you're ready to hear the explanation of what is happening tomorrow. I don't want to leave you unprepared," Santana told her and Marley nodded. If she waited, and never told Santana, she was ready, then Santana would never leave, she was convinced of this.
"As soon as Mama Rae comes out to join us, I will ask her to get the light game we can play," Santana assured her. They sat cuddled for fifteen minutes and then Rachel finally emerged, dressed, and smiling. "Hey, can you bring Simon over here?" she asked.
"Sure, do I get to play too?" Rachel smiled.
"What do you say love, should we let Mama Rae play too?" Santana asked and Marley nodded and relaxed a great deal. It was like she'd never had a melt down moments ago. Santana was relieved about this, because maybe it would make the impending conversation easier.
"Mama," Marley said softly. "Mama g'een an eh'whoa, kay?" she asked Rachel kindly.
"Yes baby, Mama Rae will be green and yellow, are you going to be red and blue?" she asked and Marley nodded. "What color is Mommy going to be?" Rachel asked kindly, trying to figure out where Marley's brain was.
"Mommy owe me, eye," she said pulling Santana's arms tighter around her body, then she leaned a bit to the side, turned her head and kissed Santana's cheek.
"Mommy would love to hold her baby girl as tight as possible and as much as she can," Santana said kindly and returned the kiss, noticing how young Marley was acting. She was also seemingly feeling safe and she tried to work this out while Rachel and Marley played the game.
"Where's Kurt?" Rachel asked, not looking up from the game while directing her question straight at Santana.
"He went on an audition," she said and then fell quiet again, watching Marley and Rachel play. She was trying to figure out why Marley was so calm all of a sudden. She was glad she was, but something wasn't adding up and finally it dawned on her so Santana cleared her throat and stared at Rachel for a few seconds trying to bore a hole into her friend, in order to get her attention. Finally Rachel looked up and her smile fell. Something was either very wrong, or about to go down.
Santana shook her head no and then took a deep breath. "Mama Rae, would you like to spend some special one on one time with Marley tomorrow?" she asked.
"I would love to," Rachel smiled.
"That's really good to hear, because tomorrow Mommy has to go," Santana started.
"Mommy! H'ep!" Marley yelled interrupting. She wasn't ready for to discuss anything. She wanted to play and not talk about it. She didn't want Santana to leave her.
"Shhh, indoor voices please," Santana scolded gently, gave her a kiss and helped her press the right button and fell quiet and Rachel looked at her with raised eyebrows. Santana shook her head and smiled kindly.
"You were saying," Rachel said.
"Oh I was saying that Mommy has to go," Santana started again.
"MOMMY!" Marley shrieked grabbing Santana's hand and pressing it down on the green button.
"Marley, no yelling," Santana scolded her.
"Mommy, g'een, mommy p'ay," she said.
"Okay, Mommy will play, but no yelling," she told her kindly and kissed her cheek gently when Marley blushed. Rachel and Santana had a silent conversation. Rachel would go to open her mouth to say something, but Santana would shake her head no. She had to find the right time to do it. Marley had to be very relaxed and right now she wasn't. Finally Marley calmed and Santana nodded at Rachel
"So what were you trying to say?" Rachel questioned kindly.
"I have to go to work," Santana said and Marley froze. It was her turn, she paused for too long and the game made the raspberry sound and Marley turned to Santana.
"No, I good, I good, Mommy day!" she pleaded tears burning her eyes, but she fought them. She had to prove that she was a good girl, and not any trouble at all.
"Marley Rose, you are a very good girl and I love you very much, that is not why I'm leaving," she said.
"Mommy day!" she pleaded.
"Shhh, calm down, listen to Mommy," Santana said shifting them a little bit and Marley put a death grip on Santana, resting her head on Santana's shoulder, crying and pleading for her Mommy not to leave her.
Rachel got up, went into her room, pulled out her iPad and returned, scooting in next to Santana, so Marley could stay cuddled and still see if Rachel asked her to. "What's the address?" she asked.
"For what?"
"For the club."
"You're going to terrify her?" Santana practically barked, making Marley shriek.
"Stop growling, and no I'm not. I'm going to show her where you're going, in relation to where we are."
"Because..."
"You are the one who keeps saying that you want things explained to her. That you want her to fully understand everything. Well this is part of that, so what's the address?" Rachel asked strongly and for a split second Marley stopped crying and looked at Rachel. There was something fiercely protective in her voice and Marley was both surprised and happy about what she heard.
Rachel put the address in and pulled up a little map that indicated how far away the club was from the apartment. "Hey baby," Rachel said kindly and she waited for Marley to focus and noted that her breathing was starting to go ragged. "I just want to show you a little picture, but maybe I give you your pacifier first, in case you want it," she said. Marley opened her mouth, afraid to even let go of Santana for even a second, but Rachel shook her head and smiled. "No my sweet girl. This has never changed and will never change. The only person in charge of Marley's pacifier is Marley," she told her and put it in her hand.
Marley trembled but gripped it in her fist while keeping herself glued to Santana and Santana could tell she wanted the pacifier. "I'm not leaving right now baby. I'm not leaving for work until tomorrow afternoon. If you let go of me to use your pacifier I will still be here," she assured her and Marley waited, moving very cautiously and the three girls sat in the room, not moving forward until Marley was ready.
"Mama," Marley said softly.
"What's up baby?" she asked her.
"Mommy day, I good," she said.
"First of all my darling girl, I do not appreciate the guilt trip and I'm sure Mommy doesn't either," Rachel said kindly, keeping her voice gentle, but it still had a tone that Marley understood it was a warning. "Secondly, you are our very best girl Marley. That's not why Mommy's leaving and she's only going to be gone for a little while. She has to go to work. She has to make money, so that we can continue to live here and while she's gone you and Mama Rae will just have some dinner, and maybe some ice cream, and watch a movie," she explained.
"I good," Marley whimpered and gripped even tighter to Santana.
"The best," Rachel told her gently and carefully went to pet Marley's face. "You're a very good girl Marley and Mommy isn't leaving for long, and she's not leaving because you were not a good girl. She just has to go to work," Rachel told her gently, sitting next to Santana and bumping her forehead gently to Marley's. It was a safe space that gave Marley a type of consistent comfort.
"Marley baby," Santana said gently. "Are you scared you were bad?" she asked and Marley shook her head. "Are you sure, because you keep telling me you're a good girl and that you want me to stay."
"I good," Marley whimpered.
"You are baby, you are a very good girl. Can you tell me what you are afraid of?" she asked.
"Mommy day," she pleaded.
"I'm not going anywhere right now sweetheart, I promise," Santana told her and she felt Marley's hand grip tighter around her neck and her finger twisting around a lock of Santana's hair. "But Mama is right, I do have to go to work, so that's what we have to prepare you for. I would have started preparing you sooner, but I didn't want to pull you too far out of your comfort zone. You my love, have worked very hard and needed a break, and for you that meant being a very young girl." Marley whimpered and closed her eyes.
"I good Ana, I good," she said.
"Ana?" Rachel asked with confusion.
"Shhh, Marley baby, look at me sweetheart. Santana, Mommy Santana, loves you no matter what. You are a very good girl. You've worked very hard and made amazing progress, this is just another step in that progress and I will not leave you alone. That is why Mama Rachel wanted to show you the map. We want you to know what is going to happen, give you the time line and make sure you are aware of as much as possible, because we love you so much," Santana explained. "You can call me Santana if you want to sweetheart, but you can call me Mommy too. It's your choice, okay?" she asked her gently.
"Mommy," Marley cried and she cried herself to sleep against Santana's body, trembling and shaking as her mind flooded her dreams with horrible memories of her past.
"See sweet cheeks, no one is ever going to want you. You're not worth anything. You can't move, you can't walk, you can't talk. You're nothing but a helpless little baby, and no one wants a baby they can't hold, and rock, and cuddle, and love. You're not lovable. You never were," Terri told her, keeping her eyes blind folded, a knees pressed back to her shoulders, a strong bar across her ribs and something was being pushed in and out of her tight little pucker, repeatedly. "Pretty soon, you won't be able to hold anything except a very large dick. I'm going to make sure that you're only able to take in the largest of every dick out there. From now on, you'll only eat, sleep, and fuck. Doesn't that sound fun?" Terri cooed as she shoved the plug deep into Marley's ass, making the girl scream and she jumped in her sleep, screaming quietly.
"No Baba," she cried, tears pouring down her face as she gripped tight to Santana.
"Shhh, you're okay Marley, you're Mommy's good girl, a very good, brave, strong girl Marley, and I'm so proud of you," Santana said kindly and Marley started to rest again. She cried herself to sleep ten minutes later. She was warm and clammy, her head resting tiredly on Santana's shoulder, her grip still death like, even in sleep.
"First of all, who is Ana, secondly have we figured out what a Baba is yet?" Rachel asked.
"I'm Ana, I think, and no we don't know what a baba is, but she still doesn't want one," Santana said and Rachel sighed.
"You're not Ana, you're Mommy," Rachel said.
"And right now, she isn't comfortable with that, because she's upset about something that she is having a great deal of difficulty communicating. So until she decides otherwise, I'm Ana," Santana said.
"I wish I could do more for her," Rachel said.
"We're doing what we can," Santana smiled at her.
"Okay, well what am I going to do tomorrow when you're gone, and she freaks out, and you aren't here, and I don't know what to do?" Rachel asked.
"You will figure it out, just like I've figured it out, along the way, and if you absolutely have to you can call the club and I can come home. I'm not actually performing the session, it's just a refresher course. Like a rehearsal," she said.
"You can't just leave a rehearsal," Rachel pouted.
"Hey, look at me," Santana said kindly, but seriously. "If I didn't think she was in good hands, I wouldn't leave. If I didn't think you could handle this, I wouldn't have set this up, it's why I asked you before I committed. And if you repeat this, I will kill you, but you're the first choice over Lady Hummel."
"Why is that?" Rachel asked raising an eyebrow.
"Because unlike Lady Hummel, when she gets out of hand, and she most likely will, you will put her in time out," Santana explained and Rachel frowned. "Berry, I mean it!" Santana said strongly. "She can not think that because I'm not here, my rules don't exist. She wanted to be a little girl, and now she's my little girl, and my little girl will have rules, to follow and if she doesn't, time out," Santana said.
"She's going to be too busy, hyperventilating and crying for her Mommy, but I promise, to put her in time out, if she misbehaves," Rachel said.