Hello everyone,
I hope you're all doing well. This chapter doesn't have any real warnings. I hope you're not all getting bored with this story. Please know that I had a small struggle with trying to figure out what direction to put the story in, but it's all been figured out and by the time Sunday rolls around, you'll all be up to speed with me.
I'm wishing you all well and hoping for more reviews.
Be well my friends.
Marley burst into tears and Joe got in front of her. "You know what Marley, if we work on your exercises, by the time you see Mommy again, you'll be able to surprise her and make her smile so much, that would be nice wouldn't it?" Joe tried.
"Pee, I wan' Mommy," she cried, her pacifier falling out of her mouth and she just sat there feeling lost and alone.
"I know you do sweetheart, come on, let's work, and I promise the faster we work, the faster you see Mommy," Joe told her.
"Marley baby? Do you want a hug?" Beth asked her gently and Marley gave up. She hung her head and said nothing and Joe went to touch her but Beth held up her hand, stopping him. "Marley my love, listen to me sweetheart. We don't do anything in this building without permission. Now you look like you could use a hug, and I will give you one, but I won't do it without your permission. So I'm going to ask you again sweetheart, do you want a hug?" Beth asked her and Marley nodded simply. Beth stood up, moved over to Marley and pulled her into a hug. Marley didn't care any more. Anything could happen to her, because Santana had left her, and was never coming back, she was convinced of it. She couldn't stand on her own, she couldn't truly take care of herself on her own, and Santana was sick of her. She left her where all the other freaks came, she was sure of it. "You're okay Marley, as soon as you finish therapy, we'll go see Nanny Susan in her room, and she has a nice soft bed you can lie on, or some snacks you can have, or a movie you can watch, or maybe you can just cuddle in the rocking chair until Mommy comes back," Beth explained, but Marley wasn't listening. All she was focused on was that she'd been left alone.
"Breathe honey," Joe said kindly and he started doing breathing exercises with her, so she didn't hyperventilate and pass out. Beth had her tight and was swaying gently with her. Since she was standing Joe decided to use it to his advantage. "Marley honey, look here honey. One hand on your belly and one hand on your back. I'm not letting go Marley. I'm going to hold you up, but you're not going to lean on me, and if Miss Beth agrees, and you agree, she can help," Joe said.
"Would that be okay Marley? Do you want Miss Beth to help out a bit? I'll make sure that Mr. Joe keeps his word and you don't fall down, because I think if you fell down under my watch, your Mommy would have a fit," Beth explained.
"Mommy," Marley pleaded.
"Yes baby, I know you miss Mommy, but you will be seeing her very soon. Here, let's look at the clock, do you see where the little hand is? As soon as the little hand moves from the three to the four, then Mommy will be done and as soon as she cleans up, she'll be in to see you," Beth assured her and without even realizing it, Marley was standing on her own two feet, while Joe and Beth held her in place and she was only wobbling slightly.
"Marley look honey, look at me. You're standing on your own," Joe praised her and she looked down to see two hands on her stomach, her feet under her and her knees locked out. She wobbled forward and very quickly was brought back to a more upright position and she looked at Joe with confusion. "It's okay honey, you did good. I'm very proud of you," Joe told her and she nodded.
"Misser Joe," she stammered softly. "Nye nye, done, pee, no mo'e," she begged.
"Alright, lean on me for a rest and then I'm going to have you stand one more time, just like you just did. Miss Beth and I will help you and then I promise you can be done. Marley nodded and did the last stand. They didn't let go of her and it was how Susan found them all moments later.
"Well well, look at you," Susan praised from the doorway.
"Nanny," Marley whimpered.
"I hope those are tears of joy," Susan smiled walking in closer to the three of them.
"Well maybe, but what we know for sure is that this little girl misses her Mommy," Beth said.
"Awww, honey, I'm so sorry," Susan said kindly. "Do you want a hug?" she offered and Marley didn't respond. "How about we go into Nanny's room and we cuddle in the nice big rocking chair. Or maybe you can curl up in it and rock yourself, if you don't want cuddles from Nanny," she suggested.
"Nanny," she said sadly. "Mommy pee," she begged.
"As soon as Mommy is done baby, she will come back to Nanny's room and pick you up, I promise. Come on sweetheart, why don't we try going back to my room to rest, as long as therapy is over at least," she said looking at Joe who nodded. He and Beth still had their arms on her.
"You are most certainly finished Marley and you did fabulous job. Do you want to walk the way you do with your family, or should I carry you?" he asked as Susan stepped into the room and gathered the backpack Santana left and the two untouched water bottles. Marley wrapped her arms around Joe as her response and he simply lifted her into his arms and carried her bridal style to Susan's room and he steeled himself for anything and everything. He didn't know what to expect.
Susan entered before him and turned to her right. She put the two untouched bottles in the small fridge and Joe looked around the rest of the room. Next to the fridge was a large counter top that ran the length of the room. There were cabinets above and sliding carts below. The oversized crib was at the end of the counter top section. He shifted Marley carefully and she instinctively put her legs around his hips while he held her. He debated about the crib, but wasn't sure. Continuing to look around the room he saw an oversized changing table, high chair, and rocking horse. He then saw the glider and spoke kindly to Marley. "Where do you want to sit Marley?" he asked her gently.
"Mommy," she answered.
"I know you want her sweetheart, but that's not a choice at the moment, so I'm just going to set you on the floor okay?" he asked her and he put her down and she rolled on to her side, curling up into the fetal position. He let her be, knowing she was just sad, and probably over exhausted from therapy. It usually took a great deal out of her, and all she ever wanted after therapy was some part or all of her family. "I'll see you in two days for your next session Marley and you did a great job today," he praised her and then he left.
Susan watched Marley carefully and turned to Beth. "Any suggestions?" she asked her.
"You know Marley better than I do. I leave her in your very capable hands," she said and gave her a quick kiss to her cheek, a playful pinch to her ass and went down the hall to her office, making Susan chuckle softly.
Beth left and Susan walked into the room, closing the door behind her. "Marley honey, do you want anything special before Mommy shows up?" she asked her kindly seeing her shiver on the floor. "Maybe a blanket?" she asked.
"Nanny," Marley said softly.
"Yes my love?"
"Mommy," she told her.
"I know honey, I do. Nanny has a few options for you sweetheart. I can get you a blanket, or I can help you move to the bed by the window, or we can cuddle together in the rocker, or you can lie there by yourself. Whatever you decide sweetheart," she told her.
"Nanny," Marley cried, reaching for her.
Susan moved closer and spoke kindly. "I think you need a lot of cuddles baby girl, can Nanny cuddle you?" she asked her. "Maybe you and Nanny can sit in the rocker and Nanny can read you a story. Do Mommy or Mama or Papa read you stories?" she asked her.
"Yes," she said softly.
"Do you think you'd like to read a story with Nanny maybe? We can sit in the rocker together and cuddle and read a nice story together. You can choose whatever story you want, all the books are right near the rocking chair," Susan said.
Marley pushed away her tears and carefully crawled over to the book case. She sat down and looked at the books laid out before her, carefully going to select The Hungry Caterpillar, but she pulled her hand back as if she were about to be burned. "It's alright my sweet girl, you can choose any book you want," Susan assured her.
"Ziss one pee Nanny," she said finally.
"I think you are the most polite little girl I've ever met," Susan praised. "Let Nanny help you up into the chair okay?" she asked her. Marley gave a confused look and decided that since the chair moved, she wasn't going to be able to do it on her own. "I will help you stand sweetheart and then we can sit down together," she said. It took some doing, but eventually Marley was seated next to Susan who began to read the story. "Once upon a time, there was a very hungry caterpillar," she started and by the second page, poor Marley was fighting sleep. She kept leaning into Susan, because she couldn't keep herself upright any longer. Susan adjusted herself so that her arm was wrapped around Marley and then continued reading. By the fourth page, Marley was fighting sleep and falling into Susan. Susan shifted one more time and now Marley was curled up on the seat in a fetal position with her head in Susan's lap, while Susan rocked them and finished the story. Once it was done, she decided to go back and read it again. Before she did though, she leaned to her right and managed to pull out a blanket from the nearby storage unit and draped it over Marley's slight frame. She propped her feet up on the matching ottoman and rocked gently, petting Marley's hair softly.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered her eyes closed tight, the tears still falling, and her body feeling heavier and heavier. She wanted Santana to come back to her and she was so afraid that she wouldn't show up.
"Very soon my love, I promise. Mommy's session should be done soon and then she has to clean up and then she'll come pick you up," Susan said.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered again.
"Shhh, soon my baby girl, very soon," Susan assured her. There was a knock at the door and Susan smiled. "Come in!" she called and was surprised to find Kurt walking in, rather than Santana. "Look baby girl, who is that?" she asked kindly and Marley's eyes flew open.
"Papa!" she cried and she practically fell off of Susan's lap to the floor and crawled as best she could to Kurt.
He moved in closer and sat down pulling her into his lap. She immediately wrapped herself around him, put her head on his shoulder and cried. "Hey baby girl," he said gently, keeping her close and rubbing her back, wanting her to calm down. She was getting sick lately from crying so much. "Hi Nanny Susan, I'm Kurt," he said kindly introducing himself.
"It's nice to meet you dear. I am surprised to see you though," she said kindly.
"Well I," he started to explain and Marley pushed back and looked at him, tears flowing down her face.
"Papa no, no pee, Mommy. Mommy come. I good. Pee Mommy come," she pleaded.
"Shhh," he said kindly. "Mommy's coming baby. She just has to finish cleaning up. I texted her to tell her I was coming. I love you just as much as Mommy and Mama do, you know that, let me finish talking to Nanny though," he said.
"No, pee Papa. Need Mommy," she pleaded falling into hysterics and he pulled her close and rubbed her back.
"Shhh," he said softly cradling her against his body and pressing his finger to her lips. She was so distressed, he knew if she didn't calm down she'd puke. "Shhh, Mommy's coming baby, she has to finish cleaning up, that's all. It's the same thing we've been telling you today and all day yesterday. Come on sweetheart, let's just rest," he told her kindly giving her little kisses to her temple. She cried harder, put her head on his shoulder and waited for something to happen.
"I knew today was going to be a hard day for Marley, so I decided to come help out if I could once I got out of work and I managed to get off early," he smiled and he felt Marley go heavy in his arms and then she whined. She was fighting sleep and getting her home was going to be interesting.
Santana walked in minutes later and kept very quiet. She saw Marley was nearly asleep and she didn't want to interrupt her, so she decided to creep up close and kneel in front of Kurt. She put her finger to her lips and leaned in very close to him. "She needs to sleep. Help me get her to the crib," she said and Kurt's eyebrows shot up into his forehead and she smiled. "I'm going to lie down with her. I've checked with Miss Beth and the schedule is open. The only reason Miss Susan is still here today is for Marley anyway. She doesn't need a babysitter any more, because Mommy showed up," Santana smiled. "Come on, I'll help you move her," Santana said.
They carefully got Marley over to the crib and Santana sat down. Marley was passed out against Kurt so he sat down as well. They carefully shifted her between them and then he and Santana helped Marley to lie down. Santana laid down next to her and pulled her close, cuddling her tight and petting her in all the right places to keep her calm and asleep. "Go home, we'll be there after she wakes up from her nap," Santana said and Kurt couldn't help but brush her hair out of her face.
"What do you want for dinner?" he asked.
"She needs extra protein, but no chicken, she's been giving me trouble about eating it," Santana said.
"I'll figure out something," he smiled and then left them alone after saying goodbye to Susan.
Susan walked over to the crib and sat on the edge, near Santana's hip. "How much trouble are you having with her?" she asked.
"Trouble?" Santana asked trying to sound innocent.
"Don't give me that look little girl," Susan said seriously. "I just heard you tell Kurt she is giving you trouble about eating chicken, so it stands to reason it's not the only thing she's giving you trouble about," she said.
"Everything and nothing," Santana sighed.
"Clarify that please," Susan said.
"Two days ago, I needed her to eat protein. She had a good therapy session and we know that when she puts out that much effort, her body spasms. She knows that too, so I wanted to give her some lean chicken, to help her, and she had a tantrum. She didn't want to eat it, then she wanted me to feed her, and then she didn't want me to and then she wouldn't feed herself, and then she stubbornly pushed her plate away. Except she pushed too far and it fell and she started screaming in fear, fell down to the floor and tried to clean it up, but she moved too fast, so she did have the spasm that we were trying to prevent in the first place," Santana explained.
"Have you scheduled a session for yourself to take a break?" she asked.
"No. I can get time whenever I want, but Rachel and Kurt need to get away too. Rachel was shaking yesterday, shaking. I don't know that I've ever seen her shake like that. Well once, but it was out of anger, not fear," she assured her.
"Santana, listen to me very carefully little girl. You are the Mommy. You are the one in charge. Which means you need time for you. One full session, recovery time included, for you, just you. No talk about Marley, or your room mates, simply time for you."
"And how often do you take sessions for yourself?" Santana challenged.
"That earns you spankings, you know that," Susan said. "You're protected now because she's here and sleeping, but don't think I will let that slide," Susan said seriously. "For now, the two of you rest. Don't think my love. Just rest," she told her and gave them both a kiss to their foreheads and left them alone.
Santana watched her leave and let out a soft sigh. Marley wiggled in her sleep, to a more comfortable position and then let out a soft sigh, curling into Santana. "I made you a promise a long time ago little girl. I promised I would respect you and your quirks, and take care of you, but now we've moved into this new dynamic, and somehow, someway, I have to get you to understand that so that I can keep my promise, and you can be a happy girl, because I think you are losing that happy, and if you are, that means I broke my promise," Santana said. Marley was sleeping, but stayed cuddled against Santana, seemingly drawing on her for peace and comfort and Santana could feel it. "I love you little girl," Santana told her. She wiggled the two of them into a more comfortable position and decided to take Susan's advice. She closed her eyes and took a nap herself.
Marley woke up two hours later and blinked a bit and then realized it was Santana holding her. "Hey baby girl," Santana smiled when she saw she was awake.
Marley felt joy and relief wash over her. "Mommy!" she said softly, happy tears springing to her eyes.
"Well hello my baby girl," Santana said and she gave her a kiss. "Do you know where we are?" she asked. Marley took a deep breath and pushed herself up a little bit and looked around the room, before she laid her head on Santana's shoulder.
"Nanny's room," she said.
"Very good my love," Santana said kissing the top of her head. "Look at the clock. Do you know how long you've been sleeping?" she asked rubbing her back and keeping her in a tight cuddle, knowing she needed the reassurance.
Marley looked to the door and tried to figure it out, but she didn't know when she feel asleep. "Um, one hour?' she guessed.
"Close, very close. Two hours actually," Santana smiled. "Do you want to tell Mommy about therapy? What did you do today?" she asked her. Santana loved when Marley first woke up, because she was normally willing to talk and engage, much more than she was during any other time of the day. Her body and mind were in a relaxed state and by this point of the game, she knew she was with safe people, and it made her much more agreeable with most things.
"Mommy?" she asked not ready to share yet. Something was odd. "I bad?" she asked.
"Not that I'm aware of, do you think you were bad?" Santana countered kindly.
"C'ib, bad babies in c'ib," she explained.
"Well if that's the case then Mommy was bad too, because Mommy has been laying in the crib with you while you napped. The other thing is that this is not technically a crib, because a crib has four sides, and this only has three sides of bars," Santana explained pointing out the difference.
"You ho'ded me?" Marley asked her. She wasn't willing to use all her letters right now. The past two times she'd been in the nursery, it brought back that very strong, unexplainable desire she had. The desire to be someone's little girl, to be safe and loved, and cared for, and not have to be an adult for a little while. She was with Santana and she knew she was safe.
"Held my love, and yes I did sweetheart. I missed you while I was gone, so I wanted to hold my baby girl, even in her sleep, so she knew that her Mommy was with her, to hold her and protect her, and make her feel safe," Santana explained.
"Fank you Mommy," Marley smiled and cuddled into her a little more, resting her head just on the swell of Santana's breast, taking in the sound of her steady heart beat.
"Any time my lovely. Now, will you tell Mommy about how therapy went today once, I left?" Santana asked her.
"Misser Joe had me on my feet an' ho'ded me here," she said pressing on her belly, "an here," she said moving her hand carefully to her back. "I standed," she started.
"Stood baby girl," Santana corrected kindly.
"S'ood up two times," she said.
"That's great baby girl, it sounds like you worked very hard, I'm very proud of you. We still have to work on your reward from earlier, so now you get two," Santana said giving Marley a few kisses.
"We go home Mommy?" Marley asked.
"Unless you want to spend the night in the nursery, yes, we're going to go home. Papa is making us dinner," she said.
"Wuz it?" Marley yawned.
"I don't know sweetheart, when we get home we'll find out. However, I don't want a lot of fuss about dinner, okay?" she asked her gently, purposefully working to keep her voice calm and kind. She'd had a rather intense session with someone who liked being yelled at, wanted it, and she didn't want it to carry over into dealing with Marley. "You've worked very hard today and so we need to replenish everything so that you don't have spasms tonight while we sleep, understood?" Santana asked gently, smiling at her little girl. Marley nodded simply and stayed cuddled into Santana. Santana felt her heart melt.
She loved Marley more than she would ever care to admit, and while she never saw herself as a Mommy, Marley made it easy. "Mommy?" Marley asked rubbing at her face for a moment.
"Yes baby?"
"I bad?" she asked.
"No my baby girl, you are not bad. You are a very good girl, who sometimes does naughty things, but when you do, Mommy corrects you, and then we move on and hopefully you learn from it," Santana explained. "Come on, we've laid here long enough. What do you say we go home?"
"Ess," Marley said simply.
They made it home half an hour later and Marley was completely drained. She was hanging on to Santana as tightly as she could, whimpering with every little step. She wasn't really tired, but she was very sore, and the muscle cramps and spasms were starting to catch up to her. "There you are," Kurt smiled. "Did you have a good nap baby?" he asked her, moving to give her a hug. She fell into the embrace and then started crying. "What's wrong?" he asked with concern.
"Therapy is catching up with her," Santana said putting the backpack down at the corner near the door while Kurt held Marley.
"Awww, I'm sorry baby," Kurt told her kindly. "Here, try this, it will help, and then as soon as dinner is over, bath, and cuddle time," he said handing her a spoonful of stew. He'd made a beef vegetable stew for them and Santana was glad that Marley was at least trying some of it.
"Where's Rachel?" she asked.
"She's running late, we are to start without her. She said she sent you a text," Kurt said and Santana pulled out her phone. Sure enough, there was a message from Rachel, but it had been set to silent, so she never heard it go off. Her message was basically what Kurt had said, but there was an added message on her end. "I love you," it read and Santana rolled her eyes. "Marley, not you, :P" it said and Santana laughed and put her phone away.
"Alright baby girl, would you like a bath first or dinner?" Santana asked.
"Sour pee," Marley said tiredly leaning into Kurt, keeping herself upright, but her eyes were drooping and she was desperately fighting sleep. It worried Santana a little because, she'd had a two hour nap, she should have been alright for the next hour or so.
"Are you sure honey?" Santana asked. Marley had never asked for a shower before. Marley immediately froze. This was going to be it. She voiced her true opinion, she didn't ask, she just said what she wanted. She was polite, but she'd crossed a line. She was sure of it, and now she was going to be beaten, disowned, mistreated, something. She was sure of it, and Kurt looked at Santana with concern in his eyes.
"Petrified," he said softly to Santana feeling everything in Marley's body go tense.
"Marley baby, you can take a shower, that's okay, I just want you to be sure that's what you want," Santana explained, but Marley was convinced she'd blown it now and she just cried, heavily against Kurt. "Okay my love, come on, let's go get showered and changed, you're okay," Santana assured her moving in close. Marley was now sandwiched between her Mommy and her Papa and she was as stiff as a board. "Okay big girl, come on," Santana said kindly and she had to pry Marley off of Kurt to take her into her arms and then kissed her temple several times, to try and calm her, but nothing worked.
Santana got them into the bathroom and had Marley sit in the tub. She got her undressed and then somehow managed to undress herself. Marley made the task more difficult, by sitting and wailing, and begging for something that Santana just couldn't figure out. All she heard were vowels and the string of vowels being voiced, didn't make any sense. "Shhh, it's just Mommy Santana my love. Come on baby girl, you're okay," Santana said and she brought down the shower head and set the water to warm. Marley was freaking out though, her breath going a little more ragged than Santana wanted, so she began to sing. "If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down, on a, bed of roses," she sang. She kept singing waiting for her voice to cut through the fog of Marley's brain. She sang the entire time, washing both of them carefully and then pulled Marley out of the tub, getting them each wrapped in a towel and then bringing them to the bedroom, so she could get them dressed. She got Marley into a clean diaper, at which point Marley screamed in fear, and Santana forced herself to keep going. She wasn't hurting her, but for some reason Marley was clearly terrified of Santana and all of her surroundings.
Santana got up on the bed, kneeling next to Marley, gently placing her hand on her shoulder. "Here sweetheart, have this," Santana said, putting her pacifier firmly in her hand. "It's just Mommy Santana sweetheart. I don't know why you're so upset, but you're safe at home my love, I promise you," Santana tried. "Shhh, you're at home sweetheart," she told her. Santana was still wrapped in her towel and spoke gently. "Mommy is going to get dressed and then we'll get Marley dressed," she told her. She stood up and got herself into pajamas and then returned to Marley, putting her into pajamas and Marley let the tears fall freely. "Oh my goodness, why is my baby girl freaking out?" she asked her gently, pulling her up into her arms and holding her tight. "Shhh, shhh, shhh, you're okay Marley," Santana soothed. "You're okay, come on my love," she said softly. "Shhh, you know what?" she asked softly. "I think that baby girl Marley is going to come with Mommy Santana and we're going to go sit on the couch and have dinner together," she said.
Kurt was in the kitchen, listening to Marley scream. "Santana! How many bowls do you want!" he yelled into the other room so he could be heard above the screaming.
"Just one!" she called back to him, and moments later, she carried a terribly distressed Marley out to the living room and he knew it was bad. Marley was only ever held for two reasons, she was sleeping and they had to move her somewhere, or she was freaking out so badly, asking her to move on her own was just not an option. When she wasn't focused any movement could be potentially dangerous.
"Sit, I'll be right there to help you," he told her and he set two bowls of stew and three glasses of water on a tray, along with a stack of napkins. He brought it over to the sofa and watched as Marley went completely rigid. Kurt saw her struggling to keep herself away from Santana but trying to take comfort in her as well. The pacifier was stuck in her hand and her knuckles were ghost white from holding it so tightly.
"Oh kay baby girl," Santana said gently and she pulled her as close as she could, wrapping her in a tight hug and kissing her temple repeatedly. Kurt took a seat, set the tray on the coffee table and handed Santana a glass of water.
"It's water. I'll get you the hard stuff later," he smiled at her and she nodded at him, smiling in return. "Okay Marley. You are going to sit with Mommy, and Papa is going to feed you. We have to have at least ten bites. Very small baby bites are fine, but at least ten for Papa, can you do that?" he asked her and when he stopped speaking he blew on the spoon, so it wouldn't be hot for her.
Marley continued to cry, not sure of what was going on around her. She saw Kurt in front of her and heard him talking, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. Terri was over in the corner, somewhere, she heard her yelling. She was waiting for her to come around the corner and she finally could take no more.
"MOMMY!" she finally screamed, everything cutting through her strange state, to bring her back to reality.
"Shhh, I'm right here sweetheart, Mommy's right here. Mommy's holding you. You're safe sweetheart," Santana told her.
"Mommy, ow ow ow," she cried feeling nothing but all the pain her body and heart were in. Her emotions were all over the place, she was terrified and she didn't know what to do. Her legs were cramping, her lungs were burning, and her head was pounding from a headache that had been forming for the past half hour.
"I know baby, I know, it's okay. We're going to have a little bit of dinner and then lots of cuddle time. I want my baby girl to know she's safe and loved and most importantly I want her to rest."
"I think Mommy's right sweetheart, come on, one little baby bite for now and then more to follow, but for right now, just one," Kurt said kindly, bringing the spoon to her lips and she ate it without complaining, gasping as she swallowed, her lungs still on fire.
"This is water baby, have a little sip for me," Santana said helping her and guiding the glass to her lips. Marley however wanted to sleep. Her entire body hurt and now the light in the room was too much for her. Her eyes were burning from the brightness, so she closed them, but continued to struggle wanting them to stay open, so she didn't get yelled at.
"You're alright baby, lay back against Mommy," Kurt said kindly putting the bowl down and he helped adjust her into a comfortable position. He carefully picked the bowl back up and moved in close. "I'll feed you sweetheart, just rest, you're okay," Kurt said and Santana reached over to the tray to grab a paper towel and very gently worked it onto Marley's chest, so in case she spilled, it wouldn't stain her clothes, or make contact with her skin. Whenever Marley got food on her face, or body, she went insane, every bad memory with Terri coming back to her in full force.
"My sweet girl," Santana soothed gently. "Come on my love, let's have four more bites and then you can just lay here with Mommy and Papa and cuddle," Santana said.
"Mama?" she asked tiredly, hiccuping and stuttering as she tried to speak.
"Mama's coming home late baby, she'll come in and say hello to you as soon as she gets in," Kurt said kindly.
Rachel walked into the house to find Marley cuddled into Kurt both of them sleeping on the couch and Santana was no where around. She stood behind the couch, watching them sleep, and her heart melted when Marley rolled inward and Kurt shifted a bit, drawing her closer, in a more protective hold.
"Stop staring," Santana hissed from the bathroom doorway. "It took us three hours to get that to happen," Santana said walking over.
Rachel moved closer and wrapped Santana in a tight hug. "How many times did she throw up?" she asked knowing that if it took three hours for them to get her to go to sleep, it wasn't a pleasant three hours. When Marley was tired and calm, she went to sleep very quickly and stayed that way for quite a few hours. If it took any longer than twenty minutes, it meant, Marley was having a bad night.
"Just once," Santana said and she returned the hug.
"You freaking out?" Rachel asked her.
"A little, I just. I know that there is more. I know there is more work that needs to be done, that she's not fully healed, and that I can't help her in the way that she really needs it," Santana said.
"You don't like pep talks, so I'm not going to give you one," Rachel said.
"Gee thanks," Santana said rolling her eyes and Rachel held up her hand.
"I'm not finished. I'm going to remind you of something. You have two speeds, awesome or not at all," Rachel said.
Santana smirked and snapped Rachel's hip with a dishtowel and they both laughed. "Only you could use my words to bite me in the ass."
"I didn't think you'd want me using my teeth," Rachel smirked and wiggled her eyebrows at her room mate. Santana shook her head and smiled. "I need a shower and dinner and bed, come find me if you want to talk," she told her and then headed into the bathroom.
Santana moved to the couch, covered Kurt and Marley with a blanket and then went to the kitchen, pulled out her lap top and started to research. She looked up a few local psychologists and decided she didn't like the ones she found. They either looked wrong, or looked creepy, or she didn't like their bio. She moved her search outside of Bushwick and went to the next few towns. After still not finding anyone, she moved into the proper city of Manhattan and waited for something to strike her but so far, she nothing was working.
"What are you researching?" Rachel asked heating up her bowl of stew.
"I think I need to get Marley in to see a psychologist," she sighed.
"Why is that?" Rachel asked.
"You're kidding right?" Santana asked shooting dirty and incredulous looks at Rachel.
"No, I mean, why are you doing it? Shouldn't her doctor be doing it, or maybe Miss Susan would know someone."
"Beth," Santana corrected.
"Who's Beth?" Rachel asked.
"No, you mean Miss Beth, not Miss Susan, and I already emailed her, I'm just looking up everyone I can think of because I am not sending my baby to someone who might very well hurt her, more than help her."
"Our baby," Rachel said protectively.
"Yeah, yeah, okay, so what was your day like?" Santana asked.
"Why do you ask, you don't care," Rachel laughed. "And it's okay," she assured her.
"I'm asking. Five years and I'm truly asking, because I want to know," Santana said.
"You my dear girl are lying. You want to hear, but you don't want to hear because you care, you want to hear because you want to get distracted. You want to step away from all your research and get away from Marley, because you are overwhelmed," Rachel said calmly.
"I hate you," Santana said.
"You love me," Rachel said and she picked up a spoonful of her dinner and offered to feed it to Santana, who accepted. "You just don't like that I see as much as you do and now I'm not afraid to say it. I'm also going to tell you, you're a fabulous Mommy, and she loves you, and even though it may not feel right in the moment, you are doing everything good for her. Praise yourself please!" Rachel said.
"You're still a troll," Santana said.
"A wise troll, who learned from a very good friend," she said and she wrapped Santana in a hug and didn't let go. "Sometimes, I just want to do this to you all the time," she told her and then kissed her cheek. "Not the kissing part, just this part, where I wrap you in a hug and remind you how incredible you are, because ever since you and I figured out we would be okay all those years ago, you're one of my best and very talented friends, and I don't get to do this to you very often," Rachel explained. Then she let go of the hug, put her dishes away and looked over at Kurt and Marley who were still sleeping. "So?" she asked Santana.
"So," Santana sighed and she shut the laptop and looked to Rachel. "So I'm going to bed," Santana said and the girls went to their own rooms.