A/N: Haven't done one of these in a while. Heh. Now, remember that omake where the shinigami had a talent show? Also, from this moment on I resolve to never again use Hisagi Shuuhei's crush against him. Maybe. *fingerscrossed*

Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing.

"Spoils"

The auction had been the Shinigami Women's Association's idea, a post-war fundraising venture that sold dates with eligible members of the upper ranks of the Gotei Thirteen to the highest bidder. Byakuya had had absolutely no knowledge of nor interest in it until that morning when Renji came charging into his office, face as red as his hair, outraged that Rukia had offered herself up. As acting captain of the Thirteenth Division and heiress to the vast Kuchiki fortune, for Rukia to do such a thing could not be borne. And so this was why, at the hour that Byakuya usually reserved for quiet reflection at his wife's shrine at home, he was seated uncomfortably between his lieutenant, Hisagi Shuuhei and Kira Izuru, in a packed, overheated auditorium waiting for Rukia's turn.

Hisagi and Kira were having a fierce, whispered argument.

"But this is your whole pay! And almost every man in here is going to be bidding on Rangiku-san, including the Captain Commander!"

"No, no, Captain Commander Kyouraku won't bid on Rangiku-san. Lieutenant Ise will kill him."

"That's hardly going to stop him. It's Rangiku-san."

Byakuya wished they would switch seats with Madarame Ikkaku and Ayasegawa Yumichika. Sure the two men would probably spend the entire auction insulting and swearing at the other bidders, but it would be better than listening to this lovesick drivel.

"All I'm saying is, if the bidding gets too high you should drop out. I'm not helping you pay for your date with Rangiku-san."

"Why? Do you have someone you're going to bid on?"

"…no."

"…"

"Don't do it, Shuuhei."

Byakuya exhaled heavily and looked up at the stage. They were still bidding over Lieutenant Kotetsu of the Fourth Division. The tall, silver-haired young woman, wore a lilac kimono with bright yellow obi. Her face was scarlet with her blush and she kept her head down and her hands clasped over her chest. It was rather unfortunate. Kotetsu Isane, as compared to her chatterbox younger sister, was actually quite lovely, if painfully shy, and it helped considerably that she was now acting captain of the Fourth Division. And without Captain Unohana to terrify them into submission the lieutenant had thus far garnered a respectable sum that was much lower than it would be if she stood straight and smiled. Then again, Byakuya thought the whole auction a disgraceful project so perhaps it was better that she did not.

He and Renji had arrived at the auction late and therefore missed the opening bids. Dates with Lieutenant Kurotsuchi Nemu, Sarugaki Hiyori, Kotetsu Kiyone and even former captain Shihouin Yoruichi had already been offered and won. Byakuya was glad to miss them, especially the demon cat. He wished the man who won her for an evening the best of luck with making it through the night alive.

Finally, Lieutenant Kotetsu's date was sold to some wealthy but lower-ranked shinigami of the Eleventh Division—wouldn't that be an interesting evening—and the host, Lieutenant Kusajishi, stepped onto the stage. A hush descended immediately. Men who had been chatting in low voices with each other straightened and then leaned forward in their seats, hands gripping the armrests. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at this though he noted, with equal pleasure and discomfort, that Renji had merely wrinkled his nose and looked back down to the programme.

Then Hisagi said, "Rangiku's up next."

Kira just groaned. Byakuya agreed with the younger man's assessment. This was entirely too much for one person, especially someone with a propensity for wantonness such as Matsumoto Rangiku.

The candy floss-haired hellion that was Kusajishi Yachiru began, "Great job, San-San! A word to the wise: fishcakes, she'll love it!"

"Lieutenant Kusajishi!" was the horrified cry from backstage.

Yachiru burst out laughing, a delightful sound on any other child and said, "Alright, alright, now to our next contestant, Boobies-cha—"

"Lieutenant Kusajishi!" hissed someone from the sidelines.

Yachiru grinned and said, "I mean, Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku!"

A thunderous applause erupted from the previously silent men. Byakuya took a deep breath and hoped that he would not develop a migraine. What an adolescent display. One would think they had never laid eyes on a woman.

"You would think they've never seen a beautiful woman before," grumbled Hisagi, beside Byakuya.

Kira merely sniffed.

Renji on Byakuya's other side said, "Well she can be a bit of a tease…and Captain Ichimaru isn't around anymore to keep them in line—sorry, Kira."

Kira sighed and said, "No worries. Let's just get Hisagi's humiliation over and done with so we can go."

"Hey!" Hisagi protested.

"And here she is now!" announced Yachiru from the stage.

Rukia was carded after Lieutenant Matsumoto. Before he and Renji had come down to the hall for the auction, Byakuya had designed a plan whereby Renji would bid and Byakuya would support him. The younger man had been reluctant to agree to the idea, at first, but then Byakuya reminded him that Rukia's status meant that he would be competing against well-heeled scions of wealthy noble families hoping to make connections to the Kuchiki or parade her as a trophy. And since Kurosaki Ichigo was in the Living World visiting his relatives, no one was going to be afraid to make an offer.

It depressed Byakuya that potential suitors were afraid of Kurosaki Ichigo and not him anymore but since it achieved the same desired result—that the suitors kept away—it was only a little.

And then Renji said, "Oh…"

Byakuya looked up. Lieutenant Matsumoto stood in the middle of the stage in a bright orange kimono with dark blue obi and her trademark pink scarf, for once looking so demure as to be almost unrecognisable. There was a small silver comb in her short hair, a fan in one hand and geta on her feet. The ensemble made her look very much like a geisha about to perform a dance and her confident stance was a sharp contrast to Lieutenant Kotetsu's shrinking violet. As Byakuya watched, she bowed low then lifted her head a little to look back at the crowd, her gaze distant until somehow it met his.

Byakuya stared back, one eyebrow slightly raised. There was no way she could actually see him.

Then she shifted her feet and slipped into a dancer's pose and the first shouts sounded from the audience. Men called out a week's pay, then a month's, then a year, two years, five and then a full decade. Hisagi made a valiant effort to keep up but after a decade's pay had to clamp his mouth shut. Matsumoto did not smile but maintaining that distant gaze that yet felt as if it were directed at Byakuya alone, shifted to another pose. The figures climbed to the cost of houses. Only wealthy shinigami and noblemen were bidding now. Byakuya scoffed. There was simply no way an evening with that woman was worth as much as his windflower silk scarf. More likely the hapless fellow who "won" would spend the evening watching her get drunk and flirt with other men. Byakuya himself would never tolerate it.

"Captain Ichimaru dying has done wonders for her popularity, hasn't it?" said someone.

"This is all quite ridiculous but that's what you get with a lot of these young noblemen. They want high-ranking shinigami women now, and that one looks like the kind of challenge that would get a man's blood going," said another.

"She certainly gets my blood going. If I was perhaps a little younger, I could have entertained the idea."

"And given the amount they're offering, I would certainly expect more than a one-date deal. She's got to work that debt off."

At this, Hisagi snapped, "Hey!"

He stood up and turned around, determined to lunge at the mysterious speakers and then Lieutenant Kusajishi said, "Does Shuu-kun have that kind of money?"

Byakuya looked up. Wide-eyed stares greeted him. Hisagi swung round with his mouth open and sputtered, "W-What?"

Kira sighed and called out, "No he doesn't, that was a mistake, Yachiru-chan."

"W-wait!" Hisagi cried out.

Kira looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and asked, "What? Do you?"

"Well, no but—"

"'But' nothing. That was a mistake, Lieutenant Kusajishi. Sit down, Hisagi."

"No!"

Byakuya felt his headache coming back. Then the person who had made the bid before Hisagi stood up and called a price that was the equivalent of a Seireitei estate. Byakuya looked up to find that it was the son of a minor nobleman who he knew to not have the money. In fact, the family was in debt to the Kuchiki for three times that amount and had been trying for the past year to convince Byakuya to forget about it with the offer of a ten-year-old bride. To know this and submit a bid anyway was the equivalent of an attempt to cheat those behind the auction, to say nothing of dishonouring the lieutenant.

"He doesn't have that either," said Byakuya.

"What?" Hisagi said, turning to look at Byakuya with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Kira tried in vain to pull his friend back into his seat. Byakuya sighed and said, "Your rival would have to forfeit, he does not have the money either. They would have to cancel the sale and reset the auction."

The hall had fallen silent after Byakuya had first spoken and so everyone heard him. Yachiru and Matsumoto exchanged a glance and then Matsumoto put a hand on her hip, looked down at the young man with narrowed gaze and asked, "Is that true?"

"Of course not!" snapped the young man, turning away from her to glare at Byakuya. "Kuchiki has no idea what he's talking about. Or is that he is trying to thwart my bid to submit one of his own?"

Renji sucked in a breath just as Byakuya's ire went red hot. Only years of practice kept the anger from showing on his face. He could barely believe that the arrogant young fool had dared to insult his better in an attempt to save face for nothing more than a popularity pageant masquerading as a charity auction.

"I assure you that if I submitted a bid that none of you would ever be able to match it," said Byakuya.

He realised his mistake the moment Matsumoto raised an eyebrow and let her eyes meet his again. He saw the calculation in her gaze the moment before she smirked and said, "So why don't you? This is for a good cause not our personal amusement."

Byakuya cursed his hotheadedness as all heads swivelled back to him. He could feel Renji and Hisagi's gaze boring into his flesh even as he feigned complete disinterest. But the lieutenant's question demanded an answer so Byakuya said, "I am merely here as a spectator and supporter of an associate. I have also already made my donation to your cause."

That donation was nowhere near what they were asking him to cough up now and Byakuya would be damned before he increased it. But then Matsumoto said, "We'll just combine figures. Make your offer. There are quite a number of high rollers here; I doubt that they really cannot meet you."

The smile on her face was meant to be encouraging but Byakuya could see the challenge behind it. Backing out now was not an option. Byakuya stood up, taking pains to ensure that his expression of mild boredom never faltered and named his price.

Her smile disappeared as her mouth fell open, her eyes widened and her eyebrows climbed her forehead to her hairline. Yachiru beside her blew out a puff of air that sounded like an aborted whistle. Beside him he heard Hisagi release a pained moan and Renji muttered, "Captain…."

Byakuya kept his gaze firmly trained on Matsumoto's. It was costing him a lot to stand there but it was going to cause the young man who started this a whole lot more once Byakuya got down to it. Technically that mansion was the Kuchiki's property anyway. The SWA would love it. There was already a pool on the grounds and everything.

Finally someone coughed and said, "Uh…anyone willing to go higher?"

No one said a word, just as Byakuya expected. He had outbid many of them many times before. It was why the Kuchiki owned nearly a third of Soul Society, either directly or indirectly. Business was just another of the young Lord of the Kuchiki's many talents.

The person who had spoken up, Lieutenant Ise, said, "Well then, since no one actually has a higher bid um…you sure about this captain?"

Byakuya shifted his gaze to her, his expression unchanged.

"Ah," she said. "Well then, I guess the date's yours, sold to Captain Kuchiki."

Byakuya acknowledged this with a nod and resumed his seat. The others were still staring at him. Hisagi beside him was so quiet it was as if the young man had forgotten how to breathe. Matsumoto on the stage had closed her mouth but still wore a shocked expression as Lieutenant Ise led her off the stage.

It was Rukia's turn now. Byakuya tried to focus on that instead of the fact that he had just been forced into paying an exorbitant fee for a woman he definitely did not want to spend any length of time with. Yes, Matsumoto was breath-taking but certainly not Byakuya's type. Not to mention that now that he had bought this date with Matsumoto, he would no longer be able to bid for Rukia. Even men with inexhaustible fortunes had limits. For good measure, Byakuya was going to gift the young nobleman's family's ceramic manufacturing business to Kurosaki Ichigo. The Shiba had nothing to offer the boy and Rukia would be pleased that Byakuya was trying to give the boy a head-start in his new "afterlife".

Then Hisagi said, "Captain Kuchiki, I know that I cannot possibly match your price for Rangiku-san but I would be willing to work off the debt if you would just give me this date with Rangiku-san. Please, Captain Kuchiki, sir!"

Byakuya looked over at the young man. Hisagi had his hands clasped over his bowed head, earnest gaze steady on the captain's face. Byakuya looked back at the stage and said, "Do not make a fool of yourself. You could not possibly repay me for this."

The young noblemen who had lost out in the bidding for Matsumoto were leaning forward again in anticipation of Rukia's arrival. Renji sat up straighter as well, though he made a concerted effort to appear calm and collected.

"…here she is, Lieutenant Kuchiki Rukia!" cried Yachiru, beaming.

She skipped away just as the curtains withdrew to reveal Rukia in a light pink kimono with gold and pearl accents, a green obi and gold comb that trailed plum blossoms in her hair. It was a replica of the kimono Renji had ruined before the New Year Festival, which the lieutenant was still paying for. Rukia kept her head bowed as she walked to centre stage where she stopped and raised her head in a shy smile that coloured her cheeks a rose petal pink.

And then she disappeared.

There was a moment's stunned silence, and then everyone was on their feet, Byakuya included. Their surprise only lasted for a little longer though, for that was how long it took for Kurosaki Ichigo's reiatsu to settle over beings much less powerful than he. This was followed by raised voices, Rukia's and Ichigo's, arguing somewhere backstage.

"…do you mean that I can't do this? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I expressly told you 'No', why didn't you listen? I'm sure that Byakuya did not agree to this!"

"Nii-sama has said nothing about my partaking in—"

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

"…he is aware. He is here, he just won a bid for Rangiku-san, but Ichi—"

Lieutenant Ise hurriedly reappeared on stage then and announced what the audience had already guessed. "Unfortunately, Lieutenant Kuchiki has decided to withdraw from this evening's event. So, on to the next date, former lieutenant, Yadomaru Lisa!"

Byakuya took that as his cue and stood to leave, Renji at his side. There was no point in staying further since Kurosaki had taken care of the problem for them. Of course his actions created a whole new set of problems but Byakuya was content to ignore them until later. It was not as if the young man would not have the means to support her, the ceramic factory produced many fine pieces.

He felt Hisagi's gaze on him the entire time as he made his way out of the row.

Renji began as soon as they were in the aisle, "How did Ichigo know about this? How did he get here so fast? What's going on with those two?"

Byakuya did not reply. His steward had appeared and was standing with Matsumoto and the Captain Commander. As they approached, Lieutenant Ise arrived with Captain Sui-Feng, who had earlier been set up for auction and was won by some young man named Ggio Vega. That was another fool who might not make it through the night. When the others noticed them, Matsumoto smiled and said, "Here he is now, hey Big Spender!"

Byakuya did not return her smile but turned to Lieutenant Ise and said, "My steward will handle the payment arrangements. I trust that you will all find the mansion satisfactory for your purposes and will no longer need to borrow rooms in my manor."

Matsumoto giggled and Lieutenant Ise said, "Are you sure about this, captain? This is quite a large figure."

"Hey!" Matsumoto protested, glaring at her friend. "I'm worth every dime, and more!"

"Yes, my dear, you certainly are," said the Captain Commander, taking hold of Matsumoto's right hand and bringing it to his lips for a brief, but wet kiss. "Byakuya-kun has an eye for fine things, and Ran-chan here knows how to have fun. You two will have a great time. I want a cute picture for the paper—you don't have to be in it, Byakuya-kun."

Ah yes, each "date" was to be photographed for posterity. Byakuya could imagine the conniption the sight of him and Rangiku in the society pages would stir. Small mercies being what they were, the dates were to be held at the convenience of both parties but within a year commencing the night it was won. He said, "Yes, Lieutenant Ise." Then to Matsumoto, he said, "My steward will contact you with my schedule so that we can arrange an evening when we are both free. If you have any restaurants that you prefer, you should let him know."

Matsumoto lifted an eyebrow and said, "You're actually going?"

He lifted an eyebrow of his own and said, "Lieutenant Matsumoto, I just paid an outrageous fee for an evening with you. You just stated that you're worth every cent. I want my money's worth."