Hello everyone!
Bonus update - for 2 reasons. First, I just feel like it might be a nice thing to do and secondly, I received 2 lovely PM's recently. Both of the reviewers were extremely kind and generous and showed such a true love for something I created. Not to say that all of you who've reviewed haven't, but it was just expressed so wonderfully to me, that they helped boost my confidence a little bit more.
Warnings: Marley recounts some of her story. Parts that you're not aware of. How she came to live with Terri. HEAVY HEAVY HEAVVY warnings. READ carefully! Take breaks if you have to, because I am fairly sure that some of my readers will trigger quite easily and I'd hate to be the reason for someone having a bad memory relived, or a panic attack, or what have you. BE CAREFUL my friends!
Appreciation: Nayafan, UnholyUnderBoob, Beaner008 for their encouragement. All my readers. All my reviewers. All the people who sent me a PM telling me what they thought and encouraging me even further to keep going.
Happy Thursday everyone!
BONUS NOTE: It was brought to my attention that something may be misunderstood, so I'm going to post this now, so that if anyone else feels this way, it is, HOPEFULLY, a bit more clear. Ryder is telling her, don't do what HE thinks is the right thing, just because HE thinks it's the right thing. He's giving Marley a choice. He's letting her make her own decision. I went back and read it, it's a punctuation issue on my point. it shouldn't be a comma, it should be a semicolon. I 100000% promise you that when I wrote that, it was meant to be read as Ryder giving Marley the choice to make her own decision based on what she wanted, not what she though he wanted her to say. I hope this makes sense now, because it was brought to my attention that it didn't read that way!
The car ride over was very tense. Marley was glued to Santana's chest and it took some doing to get her out of the car. Kurt and Rachel moved with Santana who was simply following Beth. They got into the elevator, taking it to the penthouse where Beth lived. She did very well for herself and made sure that she had a comfortable living situation. "What do you need Santana?" she asked her.
"We need to get Marley ready for bed. She needs a shower or possibly a bath, but mostly she just needs sleep," Santana said.
"Mommy," Marley squealed softly.
"Shhh, I'm right here baby girl. We're going to go into the bathroom and we're going to get ready for bed," she told her gently and Beth directed them to the bathroom so they could take care of things before she showed Rachel and Kurt, where they could wait.
The two curled up on the couch in the sitting room and Rachel looked around. She was trying to remain calm and take in her surroundings, but Kurt saw the wheels turning in her head. "Want to talk about it?" he asked and she shook her head and brushed away her tears. She wasn't exactly sure why she was crying though. Perhaps it was just stress.
She only remained silent for a moment while Kurt ran his fingers through her hair. He knew she was going to open up any second. "I thought it was getting better. I thought that we were on the road to recovery. I thought that she would be safe, that Marley would get better and decide what she wanted with her life, whether it was with us or on her own, and Terri would just be some horrible bad dream that she could heal from and escape, ya know? Come out better on the other side. See that she could live through torture, and then heal properly," Rachel said pausing.
"And now?" he asked her.
"Now I'm scared for her health and safety. I want to know why Terri is looking for her. I want to hurt her, the way I have never wanted to hurt anyone before in my life, and that includes every day in high school when we were bullied and made to feel less than we were," Rachel said.
"Well," Kurt sighed, "I can't answer any of your questions. The only one who can do that is Terri, and I don't think she's into talking at the moment."
"She sure is into torturing though," Rachel said.
"And badly," Kurt said softly. "You didn't see her at our house, I did. She was very determined to find her. More than I would have thought possible, which makes no sense, because from what we know, she never actually cared for Marley, Marley was just her whipping boy," Kurt said and he wasn't at all surprised when Rachel fell into him, needing cuddle time of her own. It always made her heart ache when Marley was this upset. It was even worse, when she thought she was the cause of it.
"Were you scared?" she sniffled after a moment.
"When?" he asked running his fingers through her hair, to help calm her.
"When you saw her. Was she scary looking?" she asked.
"Sadly, she was actually really striking. She had high cheekbones, ruby red lips, her hair was in these soft waves, and her eyes were brilliantly green. Although I think she was wearing contacts if you ask me. Not many people have eyes like that," he said.
"How can anyone torture Marley though? How can that be something that doesn't tear you apart? I know for a fact she's safe with Santana, and fifty feet away from me, and I can't keep it together. My heart is breaking for our little girl."
"That's the difference my dear," Beth said appearing from another room with a large glass of water and some tylenol for their forming headaches. "It's tylenol and water," she said setting it down on the glass table near the couch. "Terri doesn't look at Marley as an adorable little girl, or even a person with feelings, she looks at her as a sex object."
"She's a person though," Rachel said.
"You see her that way because your brain recognizes the difference between right and wrong. You have sexual urges, just like every other living thing on the planet, but you realize that there is emotion connected to it. Terri, doesn't see it that way. She's taken out all the emotion, so to her, she's just getting off from seeing and "experiencing" things through someone else's eyes and she doesn't care about the feelings attached to those experiences."
"How is that possible though. How can someone be so detached? How can she look at bruises and welts and not understand the pain that she herself inflicted," Kurt said as he pet Rachel's hair, since she was crying softly as she laid against him.
"What he said," Rachel hiccuped and Beth smiled.
"The brain is a very indescribable thing my darlings. I can't answer those questions for you. What I can do however is promise you that I will help you keep your promise to Marley. You all promised to keep her safe, and until I am sure that your house will be a safe place for her, you will remain here where I know without a doubt that you will be safe," Beth said.
"Thank you for helping us," Rachel said quickly. She wanted to be polite, and she'd heard Beth's words, but all she could think about was Marley, who was in the other room wailing in fear. It was a sound they knew well. Rachel turned and looked at Kurt. "Did you pack, Teddy Bear and Panda for her?" she asked.
"I did," he said.
"Good," she said and she carefully rolled onto her belly, pushed back on her heels and kissed Kurt's cheek. "You're a wonderful Papa," she told him.
"I try," he smiled and he watched as Rachel got off the couch and went over to the run bag, pulled out teddy bear and took a few deep breaths before going into the bathroom.
"Hey, hey, hey, what is all this noise?" she asked kindly, taking a seat on the floor just outside the tub and looking at Santana and Marley, who were both naked and soaked from head to toe. "Sorry," she told Santana.
"I can't even care at this point. I just want her to calm down," Santana said honestly.
"Is she clean?" she asked and Santana nodded. "Okay then baby girl, time to dry up and sit with Mama," she told her and together they helped Marley to move out of the tub, wrap up in a towel and Rachel gathered her in her arms, keeping a tight grip on her while Santana took a quick rinse off, got out of the tub and got herself ready for bed. "Look baby, look. Look what Mama has? We brought Teddy Bear with us and I saw Panda out in the other room. Panda is sitting with Papa and waiting for us to join them," Rachel said gently and Marley started to cough and gag. Rachel pulled her even tighter and began to rock her gently while singing some nonsense tune that was running through her head, that she didn't know all the words to.
It had worked though and Marley was at least calm by the time Rachel finished singing and Santana was out of the tub. Her eyes were nearly swollen shut though and she was wrinkling her forehead to try and keep the headache from coming. "Come on my princess. We're going to let Mama and Papa get ready for bed before they come to join us in the big bed, but in the meantime you and I are going to go cuddle on the couch.
"No go Mommy," she whimpered.
"Mommy isn't leaving you baby, not even for a second. It's you and Mommy and Mama and Papa. All in one big bed tonight," she told her.
"We're all going to fit?" Rachel asked.
"We were given the guest bedroom with the king sized bed. I was told where we would be, before we got here," Santana said as they helped Marley to stand up and then Santana held her tight, happy when Marley's head went to her shoulder. She wanted her baby girl to take in all the normal comforts she was used to. She stood with her and swayed slightly, gently rubbing Marley's back. "Do not fall apart on me Berry," Santana said seeing the struggle Rachel was having. She need her to stay together though, because if Rachel lost it, Santana was going to lose it too.
"Stop ordering me around," Rachel said and she moved in close and kissed Marley's cheek and then Santana's. "I know we have to be safe. I know we are safe here, but I thought we were safe at home and now it's driving me crazy that, yet again, Marley's world is getting turned upside down," Rachel said.
"It drives me crazy too, but the good news is, we can and will make our house safe. We'll only be here a few days, and Miss Beth will help us figure out how we can get Terri arrested and in jail, without stressing out Marley any further," Santana said.
Rachel nodded and kissed Marley again, rubbing her back and smiling when she watched as heavy swollen lids began to droop closed. "Kurt is in the sitting room, waiting for the two of you, I think. Miss Beth also left us all some water and tylenol if we want it. I'll be out shortly," she said.
"Come on baby girl, we'll go and cuddle with Papa okay?" Santana cooed softly and Marley let out a soft whimper. "It's alright baby. We're just going to be with more family. Cuddle time for Marley," Santana cooed gently.
They made it to the couch and Marley looked at the tall glass of water on the coffee table as well as the little tablets near it. She pressed herself into Santana's side and Beth handed Kurt the remote. "You know what tv works better than I do," she told him.
"What do you say baby girl, what should we watch?" Kurt asked her gently and she didn't answer him, but he saw her vision was focused toward the television. He looked around and then smiled. "Marley baby, look at Papa. This," he said picking up a small white pill. "is tylenol. Miss Beth got us each a pill and some water, because Mama and I have a headache. We're pretty sure Mommy has one too, and if you want one to get rid of a headache, you can take one too," he said and then he took the pill in front of her. He wanted her to see what would happen.
Santana pet Marley's hair and while they talked, she squinted at the tv and tried to find something she knew Marley liked. Pitch Perfect was on, so she put that on, and then looked at Kurt. "I want one please," she said holding out her free hand. He put the white pill in it, Santana swallowed it dry, and then chased it with some of the water.
"Mommy?" Marley whispered craning her neck to look up at Santana. She was squashed down impossibly small it seemed and Beth was concerned she was going to give herself muscle cramps.
"What's up baby?"
"Mama?" she asked.
"Mama is getting ready for bed. As soon as she takes a shower, she's going to come join us and then Papa is going to shower and come join us, and when the movie is over, the four of us will go to bed. I promise you baby, Miss Beth has a very safe house. We do however understand how scared you are, so we aren't leaving you alone," Santana told her.
"Mommy?" she asked again.
"Yes?"
"I have?" she asked pointing to the little white tylenol pill.
Beth's phone went off at three in the morning and she groggily answered. "Beth this is Officer Morris, Ryder," he said.
"Ryder, thank you for calling, but why at this time?" she asked.
"I'm sorry Beth, but we've arrested someone for public distraction, and you'll never guess where and why."
"It's late. Just tell me."
"One miss Terri Swanson, for causing a public distraction in Bushwick, looking for one miss Marley Rose," he said.
"Can you hold her? What do we have to do? Or rather what do I have to do or say to get that very Miss Marley Rose to say, in order to get Terri locked up," she said suddenly very awake and ready to do whatever it took to keep her current charges safe.
"Marley needs to come down and tell her story. I will record it and give it to the judge, but we are on a clock," he said.
"It's three in the morning and Marley is, at least I'm willing to bet, less than willing to even utter a noise of any kind," she said.
"I can hold her for a few hours, but it's now or never Beth. I'm not going to pretend I know exactly what is going on, but you need to say or do whatever you can in order to get her here and tell her story," Ryder said.
"I'll try," Beth sighed and she carefully stood up and went to the guest bedroom. She looked in on the four sleeping forms in the bed, smiling when she saw how tight and protective the three of them were to Marley and also each other. Marley was in the center of the bed, lying on her right side, her back pressed into Santana's front. Rachel was on her left side, facing Marley, her one hand above her head, her fingers laced in with both Kurt and Santana's fingers, her other hand draped lightly on Marley's body. Behind Rachel was Kurt and his other arm was draped over Rachel's body, his fingers lacing in with Rachel's, Santana's, and Marley's. Beth was proud and also discouraged. She didn't think it would be a good idea if she were to wake them and tell them what was going on.
She moved over behind Santana and rubbed her back firmly, but lovingly. "Santana my darling, it's Beth," she said softly. She was not aware that Marley was now awake. Fear took over Marley's body. This was it, this was how it was going to happen. Beth was going to take Santana away, and as soon as she did, Beth would be the next person to come after her. Beth would just be another person to hurt her, why shouldn't she? Beth was Santana's boss and Marley had been the sole reason Santana had missed so much work. She wet herself in fear and her body went rigid, which was what woke Santana from her sleep.
"Marley, you're okay, Mommy's right here," she said softly and Beth smiled.
"Santana love, we need to talk," Beth said seriously.
Santana groaned and tried to roll over but Marley squealed and started to cry. "Shhh, it's just me baby, you're okay. I need to roll over," she said and Marley started to cry louder, waking Kurt and Rachel.
"What happened?" Kurt mumbled and Santana sighed.
"Santana honey, we have to talk," Beth said and Marley let out a very loud scream.
"I'm up, I'm up, go talk," Rachel said quickly. "Come on baby girl. Mama will take you to the bathroom and then the kitchen and we're going to get you something to eat and then we're going to calm down," Rachel said kindly.
"You don't know where anything is," Kurt said. "I'm going with them," he said and the two got out of bed and took Marley with them.
"I mean this respectfully. This had better be good," Santana said, sitting up and turning on the bedside lamp.
"I'll jump right to it. They found Terri," she said and Santana went to speak. "No, let me finish. They found her outside your apartment, and she was causing a public disturbance. I have a friend on the police force. They can hold her for three hours. That's all we have Santana. Three hours, to go down there, and have Marley tell her story, so that Terri can be put behind bars for a very long time, for what she did to Marley." Beth stopped talking and waited for Santana to say something. When she didn't, Beth smiled. "I'm done now," she said.
"Oh my Goooooood," Santana groaned falling forward and covering her face. "This is going to traumatize her even further," she said and she threw back the covers and went toward her screaming little girl and room mates.
"Okay, that's enough," Santana announced walking into the kitchen, and Marley stood up, reaching for her, nearly falling over and Santana quickly caught her and held her tight. "You two stay," she said to Kurt and Rachel and looked to Beth. "Three hours from when?" she asked Beth as she held Marley steady on her feet, rubbing her back and petting her hair gently.
"Ten minutes ago," Beth said kindly.
"Okay baby girl. Let's talk," Santana said and she sat down at the table and pulled Marley into her lap. "Calm down and breathe my sweet girl. As soon as you are calm, we have to talk. This is incredibly important, so I need you to be on you best listening behavior," she said.
It took some doing but Marley worked to calm herself, seemingly understanding that this was more than a serious situation. "Good baby, very good," Santana told her and carefully, slowly and gently took Marley's face in her hands, staring her in the eyes, trying to gauge her emotional state at the moment. "Okay baby, so here's the deal, you tell me first, then I tell you. Who is in this house, with you, right now?" Santana asked.
"Mommy, Mama, Papa an' Miss Beth," she said softly.
"Good girl, and who made you need a Mommy, Mama, and Papa? Who did terribly cruel things to you?" Santana asked her and Rachel took Kurt's hand. This could go very badly, very quickly.
"T.t.t.t.t.t. err... ," she stuttered.
"Yes, very good. Now what if I told you, that you have the chance, right now, to fix all of that. What if, you could go down and talk to a nice police officer, with Mommy, and Mama, and Papa, and put Terri, the very bad lady and bully behind bars, so she couldn't hurt you ever again and you would be completely safe. Do you think you could do that?" Santana asked and Marley searched Santana's eyes.
"How?" she asked after a long moment.
"Miss Beth has a friend who is a police officer. They are holding Terri down at the police station and if we all go, right now, and you tell your story, then they can keep Terri locked up and kept away in a prison, so she can never hurt you, or anyone else, ever again," Santana told her and Marley looked at her, tears instantly falling and Santana was convinced a no was coming.
"I go," Marley told her. The silence was Marley searching for truth. She was trying to find some bit of extra truth and honesty in Santana's words. She was afraid though. Santana's words were about getting rid of Terri, which was a good thing. Nothing had been said about getting rid of Marley. Nothing had been said about keeping her either, but what she did hear, loud and clear, was that Terri wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else, and that was really important to Marley. She had the power, right now, to do something grown up, and protect a lot of people.
"You will?" Santana asked wanting to be completely sure and Marley nodded. "Good, and then as soon as you are done, we are all going to come back here, and go to bed, because I don't know about you, but Mommy is so tired. Shall we get dressed and you can sleep in the car ride over?" Santana asked and Marley nodded again.
Everyone stood up and got dressed to leave at this ridiculous hour of the morning. Beth was on the phone with the precinct trying to find out who would be doing Marley's interview and prepare them for what might happen. No one was completely sure what age space Marley was in and they didn't know what space she would be comfortable in when she told her story. What everyone did know was that she had to and more importantly seemed to want to tell her story.
On the way over, Marley was incredibly quiet. She couldn't sleep, but she couldn't stop thinking and just rest either. She was thinking of how to tell her story without Santana, Rachel, or Kurt in the room. Telling her full story without them would be much easier. She really didn't want to be on her own, but it would be easier to tell the story if they weren't there. They didn't deserve to hear such awful things, and Marley knew deep down if she told her story, then Terri would go away and never be able to hurt anyone, ever again. In her head she saw herself telling the story to an officer who was going to protect her, and she was all by herself. It was just the two of them. She could protect Santana, Rachel, and Kurt. They had protected her for the past few months, so she decided it was time to repay the favor.
She'd been trying to figure out how she was going to get into the room and finally decided she had to ask. "Mommy?" she said softly.
"Yes baby?"
"Miss Beth safe?" she asked, her eyes full of fear and yet Santana saw a glimmer of hope. Her baby was trying to be a big girl, hopefully because that was what she wanted in that moment, but Santana was never sure if Marley did things to prove she could do them to herself, or to prove it to Santana.
"Yes my love. Miss Beth, is very safe. It's part of the reason that we are all staying at her house. She's having our house fitted with a security system. When she thought that Terri might be around, she told us it was time to come stay with her. She wanted to make sure we were all safe, which makes her a very safe person," Santana said and Marley nodded her agreement, snuggling into Santana. Her head went to Santana's shoulder immediately and she knew what had to be done. This was it, it had been decided, Marley would go in with her whole family, but if she had to have an adult in the room, it was going to be Miss Beth. She couldn't tell the entire awful story to Santana, Rachel, and Kurt. It would be too much for them. Protecting them was the very least she could do. It never dawned on her, it might actually help them to know her entire terrible ordeal.
What she didn't like, was that she was going to have to be a big girl, and that was tiring at times. Big girl Marley had to behave and talk and think and constantly look over her shoulder and wonder what her life was going to be like once Santana finally got rid of her. Baby girl Marley had those same thoughts, but she was much more easily calmed.
The car pulled up to the police station and Kurt went to get out of the car, but Beth put her hand on his knee to stop him. "Hold on," she said kindly pulling out her cell phone and making a call. "Yes, we're here and I want an escort. Five people," she said and then she hung up. "Marley honey. I am doing everything I can to keep all of us safe. We're going to be escorted into the building. After that you and Mommy are going to go into a little room and you're just going to tell the nice officer, who is my friend Mr. Ryder, what your story is. I've had paperwork from the hospital faxed over already, in case this ever happened," Beth explained.
"No, Mommy no help me," she said looking at Santana with fear.
"Did you change your mind honey? I won't force you," she told her.
"No, I tell, but no Mommy. Not in the room," she said.
"Alright sweetheart, if you really don't want me in the room, I won't stay. Do you want anyone in the room with you?" she asked and Marley shook her head no. "Do you know that you have to be a big girl for Mr. Ryder?" Santana asked her gently and Marley nodded.
"Can I have my pacifier in my hand?" she asked.
"Yes you can," Beth said quickly. "I've talked to Mr. Ryder honey, and you are allowed to have anyone in the room with you, that you want, while you tell the story," Beth said while Rachel dug through her small bag and fished out one of Marley's pacifiers. Marley leaned over and kissed Rachel's cheek, squeezed the pacifier as tightly as she could and then was helped out of the car once the officers were there to escort her.
"Are you sure you don't want anyone with you sweetheart?" Santana asked one last time before Marley was taken into the little conference room.
"Yes," she said and Santana heard it in her voice. Marley was fully a big girl and about to tell her full story, of whatever she remembered to this complete stranger and while Santana was extremely proud of her, she was terrified for Marley to have to relive the memories. "Can I at least walk you into the room?" Santana asked and Marley nodded.
"Mama an Papa too, please," she said softly.
They all nodded and carefully helped Marley into her little conference room where Ryder was already waiting for her. She liked how he looked, but decided that she was going to disgust him with her story, so she shouldn't get attached. She was going to protect her family, the many strangers that Terri could possibly hurt, and her own heart. As cute as he was, he would never want her. They sat her down at the table and Santana stood on her left side, rubbing her back, while Kurt and Rachel kissed her cheek, told her to be brave, reminded her they loved her, and then moved to the door to wait for Santana.
"I can stay if you want," she told her, and although Marley nodded, she was only nodding her understanding. "Do you want me to?" she asked and Marley shook her head no. Santana nodded and turned to look at Ryder. "If you do anything at all to hurt her or upset her, I will be on top of you so fast, you won't know what hit you."
"Santana, you can not insult a police officer!" Rachel scolded from the doorway. "Let's go. Marley will tell her story and then we will all go home!" she said. It was the most strength Santana or Kurt had ever heard in Rachel's voice to date.
Kurt, Santana, and Rachel were moved into a separate room and told they could sit down at the table. Santana moved into the far corner of the room, and sat on the floor. Kurt and Rachel followed suit, taking a seat on either side of her and cuddling in tight. "Do you want to cry?" Rachel asked seeing Santana shaking.
"Not yet," Santana said.
"Well I do, so we should get it out now, because I have a feeling that once Marley is done, we're going to have our baby girl, for a very long time," Kurt said.
"I will take any part of her that she wants to give to us," Santana said seriously. Kurt and Rachel nodded, laying their heads on her shoulder and waiting for Beth to tell them when they could be back with Marley.
"I just want to hold her," Rachel said.
"Me too," Santana and Kurt said at the same time and then they fell into silence.
"Why do you think she didn't want us with her?" Kurt asked.
"She's embarrassed. If we're there then she can be her younger self, but they won't listen to that and she knows that. She has to be her older self, and not having us there is how she's going to do that," Santana said.
"You really believe that?" Kurt asked kindly.
"It's what I'm forcing myself to believe," Santana said.
Marley sat in the chair quietly for a moment and Ryder waited until they were alone. "Is there anything special you want to know before we start?" he asked her.
"I heard I was on a clock," Marley said.
"You were, but you're here now, which means that clock has been extended. Nothing happens until you tell us whatever it is you want to tell us," he told her.
"I have a story."
"My captain read over your hospital reports and then passed them on to me. You have quite the story," he told her.
"That file isn't everything," she said simply. Her entire body was void of emotion at the moment. She looked a little bit like a robot, but Ryder had seen many rape and abuse victims in the past, so he knew this was something that could happen.
"Well, that's why you're here, to fill in the gaps. I can either coach you through it asking you questions, or you can just tell your story. It's your call right now," he told her.
"I want to tell it," she told him.
"Alright, well this tape recorder here, will help us with that. In case this goes to trial, this tape means you will most likely not have to appear in court. Before you tell your story, I'm going to ask you basic questions. Then I will nod at you and you will be able to start your story," he told her and she nodded. Today is April 25, 2014. It is four am. Will you state your name for the record please?"
"Marley Abigail Rose," she said.
"How old are you?"
"I'm nineteen. My birthday is May 7, 1994."
"And why are you here at the police station?"
"I have a story to tell about Terri Swanson." Marley took a deep breath and started her story. "I answered an ad. It was in some weird random bondage magazine that my college roommate had at the time. I answered the ad on a Tuesday."
"Do you remember what the ad said?" Ryder asked. He really wanted to get as much information as he could on tape, because having it on tape, meant the chances of her having to appear in court went down.
"If you are looking for a loving, nurturing, woman to be your on again off again mother, please respond to this ad. I'm looking for a little boy or girl who I can dote on. I expect them to do as they are told without question and any disobedience will be met with an appropriate punishment. I am a loving woman without a child and I'm far too selfish to have an actual baby. I love sex too much. If you are the right little boy or girl for this mother please email me as soon as possible so that we can discuss the details. I don't remember the email that was listed."
"Why did you want to answer the ad?"
"When I was younger, my mother died from a random aneurism, and ever since, I've just wanted to have her back. The feelings that my mother gave me. She always made me feel loved, and special and important and I missed having that. I thought answering this ad, meant I could get those feelings back. To have a mother figure remind me how wonderful I was, hug me, cuddle me, take care of me just like my mother used to, I thought that would be very nice. I just missed my mom, and I thought this would be a good way to get a small part of it back. Almost like she'd see me from heaven and remind me she was still watching over me," Marley explained.
"What day did you answer the ad?"
"December 29th, 2013," she answered.
"What day did you meet Terri Swanson?"
"I was at her apartment on the next Friday, January 4, 2014. I thought four was going to be a lucky number. My mother was born on the fourth of June, so I thought it was a good sign. I showed up at her apartment, somewhere uptown. I think it was 116th Street. I remember having to get directions and take a few busses to get there. I remember the email she sent me for directions was very clear and specific. I liked that she seemed to be taking every precaution to make sure I was there safe and on time. I had no other frame of reference for her, and my own mother was one of those moms who made sure her kid was well prepared. I took all the right busses and a taxi cab, showing up to her apartment building, and I remember my stomach dropped a bit. It was a run down area to me and I remember thinking I didn't feel safe from that very first moment."
"Why did you continue?"
"I'd been raised to follow through with my commitments and I had committed to meeting her to start. I wasn't going to go back on that. The email had said if it didn't work out, we could just call the whole thing a draw and be done." Marley closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Do you have the email saved anywhere?" he asked.
"Yes I do. I think I do anyway. I don't know what she did with my stuff, or where my laptop is, but I remember my password. I'm sure there are a billion spam things to look for. Do you need all that information?"
"Not at this moment, you can continue your story," he told her kindly.
"I walked up five very large stairs and rang the bell for her apartment. She let me in and honestly she looked pretty. She looked nice and polite. Her hair was done, her make up was done, and everything was very calm. She offered me a cup of tea and we sat and talked and she asked me different questions. Nothing struck me as odd, but I did get sleepy very quickly. I don't know if she did or not, but I feel like the tea was laced with something. I remember sitting up on the couch talking to her and then the next thing I remember is waking up in a room, strapped down to a table. There was a very heavy bar placed along here," she said indicating her midsection.
"For the record Marley will you please describe where 'here' is?" Ryder asked and he pointed to the tape.
"Oh yes, I'm sorry, my ribs. It was heavy and white. It came down across my lower ribs. She told me it was to keep her baby safe while she changed her. She had on a terribly sweet voice, but it wasn't nice. It just gave me the creeps. I really wanted to leave, but that bar was super heavy. I did try to struggle once, but she stopped me. She said that if I wiggled around too much I might break a rib and she didn't want her lovely baby girl to get injured on her very first day in her new life. I didn't want a new life at that point, but I was too scared to say anything. I knew in that moment, when I woke up that everything was wrong and that I had made a big mistake. I thought if I just played her game though, everything would be okay. Maybe she'd get bored and let me go.
I was kept in place with that stupid bar and my eyes were eventually covered. I didn't see day light for the next few days. I really don't know how long I was there. One day began blending into the next. I have so many stories that I could tell, but I don't know which ones you need the most," she told him honestly.
"What is the one story you remember the most?"
"All of them."
"Start with the one you remember the clearest."
"I don't know how long I was there, but every day was the same. I was fed, but only a little bit. It was either always too hot, or freezing cold. I was never told and I would have to guess. If I saw steam I would try to prepare myself, but I never really could. It was either just hot enough for me to burn my mouth, or it would burn all the way down my throat and if I didn't swallow fast enough she'd shovel in more. It was usually too much and I would spit out most of what I couldn't swallow fast enough. My cheeks, lips, and chin, usually had burn marks on them. If she saw them, she'd make the food cold, or just not heat it up, but only if she saw them. It usually took a couple of days for the burns to show up and she would never clean my face. It was always just there and when I tried to wipe it off, it would make my clothes dirty, and that always got me punished as she called it."
"Was it the same thing every time?"
"For that, yes. I don't know what exactly she used. Something large and sort of square shaped, but she'd smack my palms ten times with it and I had to count every smack. Then she'd turn my hands over and smack the backs of them," Marley said and she finally started to cry. Reliving all of this was much more painful that she had anticipated and while she tried to stay detached, she couldn't manage anymore.
"Marley if you are struggling for breath, we can pause and get you some water," Ryder offered.
"No, if I don't do this now, I won't do it at all. She can't be allowed to hurt anyone else and you said I'm not on a clock anymore," Marley insisted, tears flowing freely as anger bubbled slightly inside her. Ryder nodded and told her she could continue when she was ready. "I don't know what else to tell you about. What holes do you need filled in, with the file that you already have?" she asked.
"The hospital documents say that you had a lot of muscular trauma to your," he started but paused for a moment and Marley was suddenly filled with pure rage.
"My what?" she asked bitterly. "My ass, my cunt, my fuck holes? Go on, say it, call it what ever you want. She did and so did the many men who raped me. No one cared that I was supposed to be someone's little girl. No one should ever do anything like that to a little girl. No one would do that to a woman. Yes, I am nineteen. I am of legal age, but when someone shoves something into your body, against your will, no matter how old you are that is rape, and I was raped, violently sometimes. I can't tell you how many 'Daddies' she got for me. I know it hurt every time. I know she didn't care. If she had, she might have made me at least a little bit aroused, or at least tried to get me that way. Instead she put me on birth control so that I never bled, she shoved, what I later found out to be an enema in me, every day, several times a day, spanked my bare ass with whatever she had near by, and never cared that the "Daddies" she'd found for me, didn't care about me. They took me anyway they could. They were just as vicious as she was, although I still think she was worse," Marley said and she paused to catch her breath. Her tears had stopped. She was feeling nothing but rage at the moment. She was angry and she had every right to be.
"I only remember three men, but she never let me see them, so there could have been more. Three voices I remember though. I never learned a name. I knew the guy who liked to take me from behind. I knew the guy who didn't care if I was wet or not, I was just tight for him, and he loved it, so he always plowed into me, and I remember the guy who liked me to suck on him. He came over my hair once and then she got rid of him after that. I remember wishing he would come back, because it was the first time in I don't know how long that I actually had gotten a shower. It was for those few moments that I was left to clean up myself, by myself, and it just felt nice to have some of my independence back, even if I knew it was going to be taken away again."
"This is a lot to talk about Marley, so I'm going to remind you again that if you'd like to take a break, we can," Ryder said.
"No," Marley said firmly. "I'm in a diaper. A diaper for Christ's sake. I don't know if I have to use the bathroom until it's too late. Do you know how humiliating that is? Do you know what's worse? I never asked for that. I never wanted that. I just wanted a mother figure to love me and remind me how good I was. I didn't want to be taken advantage of, or raped, or forced into diapers, or spanked, or given broken ribs. I didn't want any of that. I just wanted an older woman, to love me, and remind me of my mother, so that I didn't wish that I died that night too," Marley cried.
"The only other story I can tell you is about the pacifiers," she said and she told Ryder about the pacifiers soaked in vinegar. "Now I'm done. Or I'm done for now. I don't want to remember any more stories right now, but if you need more, I'll give them to you," she said.
"I think you've done really well for now Marley and I know that I don't have any more questions for you. If you have more to tell, you can, if you want to stop and come back later to tell more, you can do that too. We are still holding Terri in a cell and I am going to put in a call to judge Jenna Chang. She will be the one trying your case," he said and then she shut off the recorder. "Should we get you back to the people you came in with?" he asked and she nodded, squeezing her pacifier as tightly as she could manage. "I can help you back to them, or we can call them in here, what would you rather?" he asked and she looked at him curiously.
"I just told you that I'm in a diaper and you're not running screaming from the room. Why is that?" she asked.
"Because I have heard a lot of stories in my time," he started.
"It's not a story. It's not a lie!" she yelled getting upset and he held up his hands in defense and took a step backward.
"Tales then," he said. "I've heard a lot of people tell their story, but never with such conviction as you told yours. You want the wrongs righted and you would be surprised to know how many people hold back and don't tell; don't do what I perceive as the right thing. I don't care that you're in diapers. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met Marley," he told her. "So I'll ask again. Do you want me to help you to them, or have them come to you?" he asked.
"Why are you letting me decide?" she asked angrily.
"Because you weren't given a choice for a good two months. You should get to make decisions of your own," he said.