"Music expresses that which cannot be said

and on which it is impossible to be silent."

- Victor Hugo

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need
(All I wanted)
And what I chased won't set me free
(All I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees

Oh, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

We're taught to lead the life you choose
(All I wanted)
You know your love's run out on you
(All I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true

Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And no where's home and no more wrong

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

-Sympathy, The Goo Goo Dolls

My sister and I have only been here in North Carolina for a few hours. It's already so different than New York. Quieter.

I sit leaning against the foot board of the bed, headphones around my neck the music coming out of them faint. My hands pick at the loose threads of the t-shirt I am wearing. Trissy had left my room a few minutes ago right after Tobias had left. His forearms bared finger shaped bruises much like the ones that peeked out of the sleeves around Aunt Evelyn's wrists.

I chew at my thumb nail, my bent knee bouncing. I wonder if my father knows that his little sister's husband beats her and her son? Would he have sent Trissy and I here still? From what I've gathered Johanna knows, and she has probably spoken her mind once or twice.

There comes a knock on the door.

"Come in!"

The door opens and blonde hair pokes in the door. "Aunt Evelyn says that dinner is- Jesus, Caleb. You've been sitting here in the dark again!"

I become aware of the setting sun through my window at my sister's words. "I didn't notice it was getting dark."

"Well dinner is ready." She walks over to me, notebook in one hand, and holds out the other hand.

I take it as I get up and we leave my room. My sock clad feet pad along the wooden floor boards and down the steps. Tris pulls me behind her as we pass the door to the kitchen and head to the dining room. Tobias is setting the table as Marcus sits at his seat at the head of the table.

"Come sit my niece and nephew." He waves a hand to one side of the table. I pull out Tris' chair for her before walking to the kitchen.

"Do you need me to get you something, Caleb?" Aunt Evelyn looks up as she removes a pan from the oven, rolls.

I stare at the dinner rolls. "What are we having exactly?"

"Rolls, roast, steamed carrots, baked potatoes, and for dessert-"

"Trissy and I eat sweet potatoes." I grab pan holders for the dinner roll pan. "Is that cobbler?"

Aunt Evelyn smiles. "Yes, cherry. My sister told me that you liked it very much."

I stare at Aunt Evelyn. The family nose my mother wasn't graced with like my aunt and I were. But I can see parts of my mother in her, her mouth and chin. The green in one of her eyes, like mine, like my mom's. I remember when I was little Trissy always asked me 'why is Auntie's eye different than the other? Is she a fairy?' I looked it up she has heterochromia where one eye is dark brown, like their father, and the other is a hazel green just like mine, just like mom's.

I put the rolls in a basket and grab the butter dish and carry both to the table. Trissy is staring at the plate in front of her. Tobias brushes past me to the kitchen.

Uncle Marcus clears his throat, "Caleb, you didn't have to."

I will not be like you.

"It was no problem." Trissy looks from me to him then back at her plate. I take my seat next to her, my hand finds hers under the tablecloth. When everyone is sitting uncle Marcus makes us say grace, which is weird because ever since mom got sick we never said grace again. Trissy pulls out a composition book from her lap and I a pen for her. I watch her start the first line and make a soft noise, her handwriting is like mine beautiful but messy.

"You two were suppose to be saying grace," uncle Marcus covers his lap with a napkin.

"We don't say grace." Trissy puts the notebook on the table and fills her plate up. We split a baked potato, we both know we won't eat. Two rolls, a slice of roast, two spoonfuls of buttery carrots. Tris eats with her left hand and writes with her right, she use to wish she was left handed like me but I wonder if she still wishes that she was like me.

"So, Caleb. Do you have a girlfriend?" Uncle Marcus stabs at his carrots.

I shake my head.

"To busy getting good grades aren't you?" He gives me a smirk.

"Sure." I raise an eyebrow and fix my headphones over my ears, I feel tugging and look at Trissy who has the edge of my shirt between her fingers. She pulls out earbuds from her jeans and I plug them into the headphone splitter.

We eat in a bubble that is me and my sister. Away from the foreign world we were thrown into.

"So, Caleb, is there a special girl in your life?" Trissy later asks me from the spot we procured on the roof.

I laugh, "there's my sister!" I pull her close, music coming from my phone in my hand.

I look at her, "did you see the way Aunt Evelyn was flinching all through dinner?" She frowns at me.

I nod. I did. I remember that when Trissy and I were done we cleaned and washed our plates before making our way up to my room. Aunt Evelyn sat at the table with Tobias. Uncle Marcus was gone. His plate how ever was there. Aunt Evelyn had a red mark on her cheek. She said she must of hit it in the kitchen. We grabbed cobbler and made our way onto the roof.

"You know, I don't think Aunt Evelyn would care about you liking guys." Trissy smiles at me.

"Maybe."

"So how was it?" She looks at me. And I take a deep breath before speaking.

"Next time we take a plane we are getting seats next to each other. The woman next to me woudn't shut up. A kid behind me kept kicking. And the Man next to me would have been cute if it weren't for his lack of taste in music." And that's where we are when the stars start to fade from the sky.

Second chapter! Woot!

So I have an official tumblr and twitter. Name is onealwayswrites.

Any questions I will answer there and post on my profile like I said last time.

I cross my fingers hoping that this story works out for you all.