Hello everyone!
I hope you are doing all well and there is another chapter update this week, because basically I had a fairly good day.
Warnings: Marley and Noah both freak out a bit. Nothing too graphic actually.
As always, my thanks to NayaFan, UnholyUnderBoob, and Beaner008 for their inspiration and encouragement. To all my readers and the people who left me reviews & PM's you have NO IDEA how good that make me feel. you would think after 38 chapters, I'd be confident in what I'm writing and yet still, not so much.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter - it's actually just really long filler, but these characters said it needed to happen, so here it is.
Be well my friends
"Mommy!" Marley wailed. She was an absolute mess today. Things hadn't gone well for her, since she woke up, and she was completely torn between being a little girl and a big girl, so Santana made the decision for her.
"Alright baby girl, that's enough, come here," she said and she sat down on the couch and pulled Marley up off the floor and onto her lap. She held her tight and rocked slowly side to side. "Oh my goodness," she said gently and repeated it a few times until Marley was focused on her. "What on earth happened to my good baby girl? She's having a very bad day huh?" Santana cooed sweetly. "I am so sorry my baby girl," she told her and she kept using certain words and phrases that would trigger Marley to go to her little girl space. "My baby girl has had a very exhausting day so far huh?" she asked her gently.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered and she grabbed on to Santana's hand, curling her fingers tightly around one of Santana's and Santana smiled. At least she was gripping onto her and trying to focus and right now, Santana would take any amount of that she could get.
"Yes, Mommy has her baby girl, tight in her arms, where she's cuddled up close and oh so safe," Santana said and Marley nodded and then shifted herself. She put her right arm around Santana's neck, her head on Santana's shoulder and her left thumb in her mouth. "What are you doing silly girl?" Santana cooed softly. "What's that?" she asked pulling her thumb out of her mouth. "You're going to have prune fingers if you keep that up," she teased her and Marley gave a faint smile. "I can't have my beautiful baby girl having prune thumbs. That's silly. Her face is a baby face, and her hands are an old lady," Santana said and Marley actually giggled at that and then tried to put her thumb back in her mouth. "Stop that silly girl. Do you want old lady hands?" she teased her and Marley nodded that she did.
"Ess Mommy," she said pushing her thumb back into her mouth and Santana gave a playfully horrified look and covered her eyes.
"No," Santana said dramatically. "Not my baby girl. My baby girl can't have old lady thumbs," she said and Marley's eyes sparkled a little bit. It gave Santana peace. She was interacting and playing and going into her very safe little girl world, where Santana would take care of everything. "Okay, okay, you can have old lady thumbs, if you really want them," Santana said. "But then wait. How is Mommy going to get tight baby bear hugs?" she asked her and Marley looked at her for a moment. "No really. How are you going to be able to squeeze Mommy so tight for a hug? I love your baby bear hugs, they are the best hugs ever," she told her and Marley looked at her in thought.
"I know, what about a pacifier. What if you had one of your pacifiers? Do you think I could get big tight baby bear hugs then?" Santana asked and Marley nodded happily. "Okay, here you go," Santana said and she grabbed the pacifier from the side table and handed it to Marley. Marley opened her mouth, but Santana shook her head. "No my sweet baby girl. You get to decide. You always get to decide about your pacifier," Santana told her and then she gave her three gentle kisses to her temple. Marley put the pacifier in her mouth and then wrapped both of her arms around Santana, giving her best baby bear tight hug.
"Mommy," she said after a moment and she pushed back and looked at Santana.
"Go ahead baby, what's on your mind?" Santana encouraged.
"Noah hurt'd, I hurt'd, I not bedda, hims owies, ow we gets bedda? Too ha'd, too s'airy," she told her.
"Yes baby girl. You and Noah were both hurt, and he has pain, and I think you have pain too, but you're going to get better. It's just going to take a while. You know how Papa watches television and the Home and Garden channel? How long does it take to destroy a part of a house, do you know?" she asked.
"Is fass," Marley said.
"Yes it is. Unfortunately my sweet baby girl, destruction is a lot quicker than reconstruction, so we have to be patient and know that it will happen eventually," Santana said.
"Mama home? My tummy owie," she said.
"Mama went to this hospital today, to help Auntie Quinn with Noah. To give her support when she needs it. If you want, Mommy can take you to the hospital and we can go be with them," she said.
"How we ge' dere?" she asked.
"Oh we'd be taking a taxi. Mommy thinks that her baby girl is sometimes afraid of trains and subways, so I wouldn't do that to you. I will keep my baby girl safe and in my arms," she said.
Marley thought about this for a moment and then nodded. "Kays, ess go sees Noah, an gives 'im b'ocks. Owies, hewe," she said pointing to her mouth. "Tubba," she said kindly.
"Noah has trouble talking?" Santana asked and Marley nodded.
"Wike me. Tubba. Owie. B'ocks he'p," she explained and she carefully crawled off of Santana's lap and over to her toy box pulling out all of her blocks to take to the hospital for Noah. In order to stop a further melt down, Santana went with her and helped her pull out all the blocks. They lined them up in order, to be sure they had them all and then packed them away in a small bag, along with Marley's stuffed toys, before heading for the door. "Mommy," Marley said pausing at the door and looking at Santana as she sat down, waiting for Santana to put her shoes on.
"What baby?" she asked kneeling down and pulling out Marley's sneakers from the shoe box and carefully putting them on for her.
"I has?" she asked holding up her pacifier.
"Yes baby girl. That is yours and you can use it when ever you want. Mommy will not take it away, or let anyone else take it from you," she explained. Marley seemed to like this answer and the two girls went downstairs to catch a cab to go to the hospital.
They made it to the hospital an hour later, but Santana had texted during the cab ride, that they were on their way.
"Kin, Mar-ree, Mar-ree here," he said and he was actually whimpering. Santana hadn't called back, and the text could have come from anyone.
"She's coming Noah, I promise. Marley and Santana are on their way. They are most likely stuck in traffic," Quinn said kindly.
"No," he said and he started to cry.
Quinn decided that this was not good, so she moved in close and spoke kindly to him. "Noah, it's okay buddy. I know it's scary, and I can't imagine what you must be thinking, but you are very safe and very soon, they will be here and Quinn is going to go talk to the floor supervisor," she told him. "What we walked in on this morning, never should have happened," she told him.
"No, pee, Mommy," he said thinking that would make things better. If he played the game, that he wasn't sure he even wanted to play, then maybe, they would bring Marley back. He had to be with her. She was his ray of hope. He had to have her. "Mommy," he cried again and Quinn took a breath, kept herself calm, and moved in close.
"Shhh, shhh, you're okay baby, you're okay," she said kindly. "Noah honey, look at Quinn my love. Look at me and just calm down," she told him and she had to carefully move into his line of vision, so he could do as asked.
"No, Mommy! Mar-ree. I pway, I do. Mar-ree no dead!" he cried and that was about the time, Santana and Marley walked into the room.
"Mama!" Marley cried happily and she leaned forward a bit, wanting to get to Rachel as fast as possible.
"Hold on baby girl," Santana smiled and she lead Marley over to Rachel and Marley very carefully fell into Rachel's lap. "Baby girl needs a tummy rub," Santana said, looking pointedly at Rachel and she caught on quickly. Marley had been a basket case earlier, but she seemed very calm now, except she was a baby girl and Rachel had to play on that as best she could.
"Look Noah, look who's here," Quinn said kindly. "Santana and Marley showed up, so now everyone is here," Quinn said.
"No! No!" he cried. "Mar-ree here, no dead. No!" he cried and Santana looked to Quinn raising an eyebrow that asked several questions, all of which, Quinn had one answer to; I don't know.
Santana finally figured out that Noah wasn't paying attention and looked at Quinn. "He can't see her," she said. "He's not looking at her, and he's definitely not listening to us," Santana said.
"Noah baby, look at me. Look at Quinn," she said.
"No, I pway, Mommy! Pee no Mar-ree dead!" Noah cried and as he cried and yelled, one of the blisters in his mouth broke. He started to cough and choke and Santana and Quinn moved quickly to help him clean up. They struggled slightly to help him rinse with plain water, and he was just spitting it out when Dr. Martinez came into the room and both little ones went further on edge.
"We need some time, please come back in a few minutes," Kurt said firmly and he all but pushed the doctor out of the room and shut the door.
Rachel gathered Marley a little closer and continued her belly rub. "Let's listen baby. I bet Auntie Quinn and Mommy are going to need you to talk soon. So let's be really good listeners and when they tell you to talk to Noah, you can, okay?" Rachel asked and Marley nodded, relaxing slightly, glad that the door was now shut.
"Thank you," Santana said to Kurt and then she turned to Quinn. "He wants Mommy, you have to be that for now," Santana said.
"He wants it for the wrong reason," Quinn argued.
"But if you give it to him, he'll at least calm down a little bit and we need that right now, to explain what's going on to him," Santana said.
"Shhh, okay, okay buddy," Quinn said and she shifted herself to stand at the side of the bed as he struggled to get into her arms. Eventually she was able to gather him close and rub his back. This poor kid hadn't had much in the way of human contact lately and she felt her heart break just a little bit as she cuddled him. "Shhh, Mommy's here, you're okay, but guess what?" she asked gently. "I'm not the only one. I'm still here for you, but Santana is here and Kurt, and Rachel and Marley," Quinn told him.
"Mommy," he whimpered holding on to her tightly, his arms falling slowly down Quinn's body, until they hit the bed, heavy from the energy that he expended while moving to be into her arms.
"Shhh, you're okay buddy, Mommy's here. You're safe, but do you remember Noah? Do you remember what Quinn said? I will be Mommy if you want, but I don't have to be. That's your decision," she cooed to him, gently running her fingers through his light brown locks and he let out a softer whimper. He was calming down, which was all they wanted in the moment. "Good job Noah, very good," Quinn praised him. "Shhh, keep breathing buddy. You're okay, and I can be Mommy, if you really want, but I want you to want it. I will not force you," Quinn said.
Santana was giving her curious looks as she spoke. There was something Quinn had picked up on that Santana missed, which was a good thing, but she wished she knew what it was. "Come on love, let's sit back in the bed and rest okay? The pressure on your knees is not safe yet," Quinn told him and carefully adjusted him, so he was lying back down. "Noah buddy, do you hear Santana?" she asked him trying to figure out if he was focusing on who was in the room with them.
"Ah, ah, auntie T.t. .Tana," he stammered.
"Only if you want Noah. You have to want it," Quinn told him kindly.
"Auntie Tana," he pushed out and then gasped for breath.
"Shhh, yes buddy, Auntie Tana, very good," Santana told him. "Can you see me love?" she asked. He was freaking out, which she wasn't happy about, but Marley was sitting relatively calmly in Rachel's lap, sprawled out slightly, having her belly rubbed, so at least that was a plus. One for two wasn't bad. "Can you see Auntie Tana?" she asked him, slowly shifting from side to side, and she glanced up to see his heart rate still pretty high. "You're okay bud. I know you can't see me, just raise your hand when you can. Do you know who's holding you?"
"K.k.k.k., I m.m. ..ean, M.m. ...Mommy," he stammered.
"Shhh, you're okay love, you're okay, you call me whatever you are most comfortable with. You can say Quinn, or Mommy, I don't mind either way," Quinn assured him, and he lost it. He broke down into tears, from all the stress in his body, and started crying out in pain. He was also letting go of all the tears he couldn't let go of before when he was scared and under Terri's control.
Quinn carefully, with Santana's help, gathered him close and he trembled against her, and she had to force herself to ignore the beeping. It seemed very loud to her. He was a seventeen year old kid, but she'd heard horror stories of young kids, young adults, even old adults with weakened hearts. Her greatest concern at the moment was that with all the hypothermia and dehydration he was recovering from, coupled with all the stress of a new situation, he was going to have a heart attack. Quinn wasn't sure why he was shaking so badly though. However, Marley seemed to understand exactly what was happening to him, because she started yelling at him. "No be't!' she cried. "NO BE'T" she yelled again.
"Marley Rose, no yelling baby girl," Rachel scolded.
"Him mem'ba Mama," Marley whined, not thrilled that Rachel stopped rubbing her belly for her. "NOAH!" she yelled again. "NO BE'T,"
"She's giving you a run for your money as far as projection goes," Kurt said to Rachel.
"Not helping!" all three ladies said at the same time and Kurt backed off a bit.
"Noah, listen to Quinn buddy, it's okay," Quinn said and she made her voice very soft and gentle, putting her lips right next to his ear, hoping it would get him to focus a little bit more.
"NO BE'T!" Marley screamed.
"Marley Rose, that is enough screaming. If you want to help Noah, you talk quietly to an adult, no more screaming or you're having time out in the corner," Santana scolded and Marley pouted.
"Tell me baby, talk to Mama. Talk. No yelling," Rachel said coaxing her to say something. She obviously wanted to help which Rachel was taking as a very good sign.
"Tummy," Marley pouted.
"I will rub your tummy, that's fine, but no more yelling and screaming. Talk to Mama, and help us understand. No screaming, because he isn't hearing you," Rachel said.
"Be't. Hims fade da be't," she said.
"Alright, well that is very helpful," Rachel said, even though she had no clue what a bet was.
"Here baby girl, why don't we spell it out," Kurt suggested bringing her the bag of blocks they'd carted in. "What is Noah afraid of?" he asked as he put them out on a cart and Marley looked around. She was babbling softly as she found the letters she wanted and then spelled out B..E..L..T for them and Rachel kissed her temple.
"Now that is very helpful and very good communication Marley. I am very proud of you," Rachel praised and she gave her baby girl kisses and went back to rubbing her tummy.
Quinn climbed up onto the bed, behind Noah and gathered him in her arms and rubbed his arms and hands. "Shhh, my baby boy is so good, and he listens so well, that Mommy Quinn is so proud of Noah," she said and then wrapped him in a tight hug.
"No be't," he cried and he jumped in Quinn's arms, because as far as he was concerned, the reason he was being held so tight was to stop him from moving. Terri had a lot of trouble hitting a moving target, and when she figured out that he figured it out, she would tie him down. Being restrained, while good for his nervous system, was nearly detrimental for his memory. His heart monitor started going wild and pretty soon, Nurse Helen walked in.
"I see, we have a lot going on," she said kindly.
"Nurse Helen, do you have anything that we can give Noah to help him calm down and relax, that will not make him think he's being tortured?" Santana asked.
"Actually I do," she said kindly. She walked over to Noah and spoke gently. "Alright Noah, this is just a little sleep aid okay? I'm going to put it in directly into your medicine bag and then you'll drift off, and stay asleep for the entire procedure that the doctors told you about earlier," she said.
"And why didn't the doctors tell me," Quinn almost growled and Helen looked at her with shock. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I'm not aggravated with you," she told Helen.
"You don't know that he's going for minor surgery?" Helen asked clearly confused as to why Quinn was being so protective.
"No," all four adults said and Rachel felt Marley tense up in her arms. "You're okay baby girl," she told her kindly. "No one is in trouble," she assured her. That tension, meant she was sure that trouble was coming.
Noah was still panicking and Quinn put her lips near his ear. "Shhh, stay calm my good boy. We're going to figure this out, all you have to do is rest," she assured him. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I'm also going to find out what's happening before it does. You are with Mommy Quinn and very safe," she promised him and as she spoke, he started to calm down. "What do you have in your syringe Nurse Helen? What is the procedure?" Quinn asked.
"He's been scheduled for an oral wash with Dr. Martinez. The infection is clearing up nicely and the wash will help, but because there will be so much extra pressure and suction involved, Dr. Martinez is going to give him anesthesia. He's going to sleep while we take care of everything and then when he wakes up, as long as he passes all his levels, he can go home with you," she said.
"Well I'm glad someone told me," Quinn sighed and Marley started to fuss and squirm. She didn't want Noah going away. How would he be watched by all the safe people and she really didn't want him to have medication to knock him out.
"What I want to know, is why you don't know what's going on? It's marked four times in his chart, in four different places to notify you of anything and everything that happens to him. Emma and I were very clear about that," Helen said.
"Oh, Nurse Emma is still here?" Santana smiled. "She was Marley's nurse."
"Focus please," Quinn said giving her a dirty look, which Santana returned and then they all turned their attention to Helen, who was flipping through the chart.
"Of course," she sighed. "Brian," she said rolling her eyes. "Honest to goodness, I'm going to put him over my knee and spank him myself, along with a few other interns running around this floor," Helen said. "Do we have your permission to start? I know Dr. Martinez was in a moment ago and then he was asked to leave, because it was so chaotic," she said.
"Yes, you can start," Quinn said.
"NO!" Marley yelled and she burst into tears, falling off of Rachel's lap and trying to get to Noah to stop what she considered madness.
"Marley Rose," Santana scolded.
"No!" she cried, tears coming quickly. "No take, no go, he good, no spank," she cried, sobbing heavily. "Mommy! Noah!" Marley wailed and her body was now wracked with heart breaking sobs and she was gasping for breath while her back went into spasm. She couldn't get any closer. She couldn't save him. She'd failed again. Noah didn't understand why Marley was so freaked out and as he watched her struggle while she was being escorted to her feet, his anxiety went up.
Nurse Helen stopped and tried to speak kindly. "Marley sweetheart, it's okay. We're going to help Noah get better, so he can go home with you," she tried, but Marley screamed at her, wanting her to go away. She wasn't listening to anyone today.
"Thank you for trying Nurse Helen, but she's not going to listen. You can go ahead with Quinn and Noah," Santana said kindly and then she looked at Rachel and Kurt. "I need one or both of you to help me please," Santana said, and they both moved in to help.
Marley was gasping for breath, struggling to breathe and tears were pouring down her cheeks, so they ushered her carefully into the bathroom where they could clean her up and Noah started to fuss in Quinn's arms.
"Shhh, she's okay baby. She is. She is just so scared, she needs Santana, Rachel, and Kurt to hold her and keep her calm, but they'll need to clean her up a bit too," Quinn explained. "Should Quinn explain what's going to happen to you now?" she asked him.
"Mommy, Mar-ree," he cried. They both heard her wailing in the other room and he was getting very concerned.
"Yes, buddy I know," she said and they both heard Marley scream. "Someone open the bathroom door!" she yelled into them. Noah couldn't see and with the door shut, neither could she, but if she could see it, she could explain it.
"No bad. No spank!" Marley wailed.
"Noah, listen to me bud. No one is going to spank you. Nurse Helen here is going to give you the medication and help you sleep and the doctor is going to take care of your mouth," Quinn explained.
"It's true Noah. As soon as you have this oral wash, all your blisters will be gone and as long as your levels are normal, we'll send you home with Quinn where you can heal in comfort, instead of this crazy hospital," she explained.
"Mar-ree," he whimpered hearing her cry and gag in the bathroom.
"She's okay Noah, I promise you. She just heard something she doesn't like and until we can get her to calm down and talk to us, we won't know what that is. I know for a fact that Santana, Kurt, and Rachel would never hurt Marley. I promise you, that as soon as you come back from your procedure and wake up, Marley will be here, perfectly safe and the two of you can spend more time together.
"Mommy," Noah whimpered.
"Only if you want me to be my sweet boy," Quinn told him, giving him kisses to his temple. "You let me know when you're ready and Nurse Helen will give you the medication you need. I will hold your hand until they take you to the treatment room, and when you come out, I will be holding your hand again, alright?" she asked. He raised his left hand and Quinn gave him another kiss. "I'm very proud of you Noah," Quinn said and she nodded at Helen. It was time.
Marley had thrown up three times and was now a panting mess, pounding her fists into Santana's shoulder, trying to push her away, not liking that she sent Noah off to be spanked.
"Marley Rose, you calm yourself down right now!" Santana scolded her and her voice was full on Mistress mode.
"NOAH!" she screamed and Rachel moved her head back a bit since the screaming was happening right in her ear.
"Kurt, we'll need tea, can you," Rachel started and he gave her a look and when it was returned by both girls, he decided to leave the room. They knew that he wasn't going to be able to handle this. Marley was completely hysterical and calming her down was going to take very firm and very stern voices.
"Marley Rose! Not a sound more," Santana told her seriously. "Not one more sound from you, until you can calm down and breathe," Santana said firmly. She could see that Marley's lungs were probably on fire and if she wasn't careful, she was going to pass out. "You can talk to me when you can breathe a little better," Santana said sternly. She wasn't backing down at all. She couldn't though. Marley had to focus and if scolding her was the way to do it, then Santana was fine with that. The last thing they needed was for Marley to pass out. Finally Marley let out a steady exhale, before speaking.
"Noah, good, no spank, good, no bad, Noah!" she said and she gasped for breath twice more before gagging and she was bent over the tiny sink where she threw up whatever was in her stomach, which wasn't much.
"Noah is very good, and no one is going to spank him Marley," Rachel said seriously. "Right now, we are focused on you. No more yelling, no more hitting, you will calm down," Rachel said and Santana smiled proudly.
"Breathe Marley, breathe right now, and listen closely to me," Santana told her. "Come on. In and out," she coaxed.
It took some doing, but she finally calmed down and collapsed into Santana, completely exhausted from having her latest tantrum. Santana held her close and rubbed her back. Marley was tense for a moment and then she finally put her head on Santana's shoulder. "Now, what did you hear? Why do you think someone is going to spank Noah?" Santana asked her once she was calm.
"N.n. ," she stammered and then she started to cry again out of a mix of frustration and embarrassment.
"It's okay. You know Mommy doesn't mind," Santana said and she went straight to deciding for Marley again. Marley had to be little. It was the easier choice right now. There was a very clear right and wrong when she was a little girl. She knew she would be taken care of, and Santana needed her to know and believe all of that, because these tantrums were getting to be a bit much. When she was little, things were cut and dry. When she was big, things were just unsafe and making decisions was too hard, it made focusing more difficult. Right now, Marley had to be little.
"B.b.b.b.b.b...bbb..'ck," Marley stammered. She couldn't speak and she knew it. She also knew she was exhausted.
"Alright baby girl, alright, come on," Santana said and she took her out of the bathroom and put her on the spare bed in the room and Marley immediately went on edge. "Shhh, calm down sweetheart, calm down, listen to Mommy. You need to rest. We're both going to sit on the bed with the tray. You can have your blocks and spell whatever you want for me, but you my darling girl are going to rest, with Mommy," Santana said and Rachel moved over to them.
"Hold Mama's hands sweetheart," Rachel said getting in front of her and holding her in a seated position while Santana climbed on the bed behind her. Once Santana was behind her, Rachel spoke kindly. "Alright baby, Mommy's behind you, lean back for me," she said kindly and Santana wrapped her little girl in a hug. Rachel moved over to a tray on wheels. It was the meal tray that Noah was using and was currently empty. It made a great table for Marley's blocks, so she could spell.
Rachel pushed it over and then got all of Marley's blocks. She put them on the tray, letter side up, for all of them, and then watched as Marley's hand trembled while she picked up the letters she wanted, spelling things out.
N..U..R..S..E
S..P..A..N..K
N..O..A..H
G..O..O..D
S..A..V..E
She spelled out for them and then she curled into Santana and simply cried. She was exhausted, her body was cramping, and she wanted Noah to come back. Santana carefully pushed the tray away and looked at Rachel. "Help me steady her."
"How do you want her?" Rachel asked. There were few positions that Santana could get Marley in and Marley would calm down almost instantly.
"I want her lying on top of me," she said and Rachel nodded. With a very minimal struggle, the girls got Marley in position and her ear went straight to Santana's chest. She took comfort in the steady rhythmic heartbeat and started to close her eyes. Rachel took a seat on the side of the bed and began to pet Marley's face. That in itself was a major achievement. Long, calm, soothing strokes, helped Marley to calm down and once Santana was sure she was calm, she started to explain.
"Alright baby girl, put your hand out. You can keep your eyes closed, but you and me and Mama are all going to have a conversation. Easy questions, just like always and you won't have to say a word," Santana explained and then she looked at Rachel. "Your left hand is yes, your right hand is no. Left option one, right option two," she said and Rachel nodded.
She reached forward a bit and took Marley's hand. She placed it on the bed and then used her pointer fingers to tap softly on Marley's hand. "It's a game baby girl. The one you like to play," she said. "Yes," Rachel said softly and tapped her left pointer finger on Marley. "No," she said tapping her right pointer finger and she repeated the process for options one and two. "I don't know what questions Mommy has for you baby girl, but if it's too much and you need to take a break you don't touch any of Mama okay?" she said. Marley blinked once. "Alright sweetheart, close your eyes, rest. Listen to Mommy's heartbeat," Rachel coached. Once she saw her breathing even out a little more, she spoke calmly. "You can keep your eyes closed, tap Mama's yes hand," she said and Marley did as asked. She liked that she didn't need her eyes open, because she was fairly sure she was getting a headache, but she opened them anyway. She had to communicate. She had to try.
"Mama?" Marley said tiredly after a moment.
"Yes baby?"
"Tummy," she said sadly.
"Does it hurt baby?" Rachel asked kindly and Marley tapped both Rachel's left and right finger, her eyes growing heavier by the second. "Does it hurt a little bit?" Rachel asked and Marley tapped the left one five times.
"As soon as we get home baby, Mommy will call Nanny Susan and we will get you fixed up okay?" Santana asked and Marley whimpered but tapped Rachel's left finger. She knew what Nanny Susan would do, but she also remembered that it didn't hurt when Nanny did it.
"Ho' me Mommy?" Marley asked sadly.
"I will always hold you baby girl," she told her and she waited for Marley to relax. "Can Mommy ask her questions now?" Marley tapped left. "You heard Nurse Helen say spanking?" Left. "Do you think she's going to spank Noah?" Left again and then she started to tremble.
"Shhh, it's okay baby girl. Mommy has you, Mama's right here, Papa went to get everyone tea and Auntie Quinn went up with Noah, to be with him for his whole procedure," Rachel explained.
"Marley baby, do you really think that Auntie Quinn would let bad things happen to Noah?" she asked. Right finger. Santana took a deep breath and very calmly and quietly asked her second question. "Alright baby girl, what are you afraid of then, will you tell me?" she asked.
Marley didn't open her eyes, didn't tap any fingers, she just took a deep breath and carefully pushed out her words, tears falling down her face. "No strangers are safe. So many bad things happen," she said. "You're nice to me, and I don't know why, and you don't judge me, and I don't know why, but other people do and they will hurt him, and I know you said it's not my fault, but it is. He's been hurt because of me, and it's so much worse than what happened to me. She used him as a toilet," Marley said.
Rachel and Santana were both surprised that it came out so adult, but Santana understood, as did Marley, that Marley had to make a point. She had to be adult for the moment and then she could go back to being a baby girl if she wanted.
"Marley my love, right now, right in this moment. Do you want to be baby girl Marley, or big girl Marley?" Santana asked and Marley tapped left several times. "Do you know that Mommy loves you no matter what age you are?" Left. "Should we take a nap?" Left. "Should Mama sing you a lullaby?" Left and Rachel grimaced. Of course Santana would put Rachel on the spot. Some things would never change.
Two hours later they wheeled a still sleeping Noah into the room, in his bed, and Quinn took a seat next to him and held his hand. "You're hooked aren't you?" Kurt asked her kindly.
"It's amazing how fast they get you. I've worked with clients at the club and they get me too, but this is different. This is something so much deeper," she told him. "I wish I could put it into better words."
"You don't have to, I completely understand," he smiled. "I know that I fell in love with Marley, the second I met her. Possibly because we know what it's like. We know the feeling of craving love and affection, so we can relate and show them that what they want, is actually attainable," Kurt said.
Quinn nodded and turned for a moment to look at Santana who was holding Marley. "I never thought I would see that," she said.
"Well I can top that. I came home one night to find Santana and Rachel curled up on the couch together."
"That I do not believe at all," Quinn laughed.
"Marley passed out and the two of them were freaked, rightfully so, and they supported each other. It was with pizza and wine, but they still did it. Now I think anything can happen," Kurt smiled.
"Not until I see it," Quinn grinned.
"He's still sleeping and she's in a very good state, go bond with her, it might calm things down for when he wakes up," Kurt suggested.
Quinn nodded and gave a quirky smile. "Do you want the diva, or the bitch?" she asked.
"You're very funny," he said sarcastically and then he reached over and took Noah's hand, so someone would be holding him as promised while Quinn walked over to the girls.
"Hey lady bug," she said when she realized that Marley was awake and now looking directly at her. "Did you have a good nap?" she asked kindly and Marley simply blinked once. "I'm going to take a seat right here, is that okay with you?" she asked and Marley blinked again. Quinn sat down and smiled at her. She was going to approach this very carefully, because she had no idea what mind set Marley was in, and she really didn't want to trigger anything. The poor girl had been through enough. "You know, I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with you lately, so I thought that while you're cuddled up tight with Mommy, and Noah is sleeping, Marley and Auntie Quinn could spend some time together," Quinn told her.
"That's actually a very good plan, because Mommy needs the bathroom. Will you sit with Auntie Quinn for a little while my love?" Santana asked kindly. Marley went willingly but only because she could still see Rachel. The tension in her body was ridiculous and Quinn picked up on it immediately. Santana settled her carefully on Quinn's lap and rubbed her back in that loving way she had. Only Santana had that touch. They all had different touches. Everyone who cuddled her and held her did it just a little bit differently, but that was how she knew who was holding her. She was still pretty exhausted so she put her head on Quinn's shoulder and shifted to a comfortable position. She gave a very slight smile because now Quinn was rubbing her back the say way Santana did. The difference was so small that Marley barely noticed and she felt the tension start to leave her body.
"Oh my lady bug," Quinn cooed as Marley got settled on her lap. "I'm so glad we get to cuddle," Quinn smiled. "Mommy told me what a great cuddler you are and she is absolutely right," Quinn grinned. "I'm so glad that Noah and I will get to spend more time with you and Mommy and Mama and Papa, because I think you will be a very good helper when it comes to Noah," Quinn said.
"I he'p?" Marley asked, looking at Rachel and fighting sleep. Apparently, she'd needed a longer nap than she had and so Rachel watched her carefully.
"Of course you can help. I bet you're a wonderful helper," Quinn said and Rachel saw Marley start to panic. Quinn was saying something that was triggering something else, so she decided to put a stop to it immediately.
"Marley baby, look at me honey," she said kindly and she put her hand on Marley's cheek. "Tell me baby, what's my name?" she asked.
"Mama," she smiled.
"That's right my smart girl. That's very good, and who's holding you?" she asked her.
"Auntie," she said softly.
"Very good. Do you know who else is in the room? Should we name them?" she asked. "Let's see. Two boys and one girl," Rachel said. "Who are the boys?" she asked gently.
"Papa an' Noah," Marley said.
"Very good baby, and who's the girl?"
"I dunno," Marley said.
"Yes you do silly girl," Rachel giggled. "I'll give you a hint. Who went potty?" she asked.
"Mommy," Marley smiled.
"Very good baby girl," Rachel smiled and she leaned in and gave Marley a gentle kiss.
"Mama? Owies," she pouted pressing her hand to her stomach.
"I know baby, as soon as we get home, Mommy said she is going to call Nanny Susan and we'll get you all fixed up, so you don't have any more pain," she said and they heard soft movements coming from the other bed. "I think Noah's waking up," Rachel said when she saw Marley try to focus in on where the noise was coming from.
"I gives 'im b'ocks Mama," Marley babbled tiredly.
"You brought blocks for Noah?" Quinn asked.
"Mmm, he'p 'im talk," she said and she wormed herself around on Quinn's lap, trying to get comfortable. "Mama," she whimpered after a minute. "Owie Mama. Potty," she said sadly.
"Alright sweetheart, as soon as Mommy comes out, we'll go potty. I'll rub your belly while you sit, okay?" she offered. It was seconds later when the door opened and Marley started to worm around. "There's Mommy, should we go potty now?' she asked her and Marley started to wiggle harder, trying to get up.
"I'll help you sweetheart," Quinn said kindly and she helped her up to her feet and Rachel moved behind her, so she could help guide her to the bathroom. Once they entered, Rachel shut the door and Marley let out a soft whimper. This was going to be just like the morning. She was going to be locked in the bathroom again. Rachel helped her to sit down and the second she was naked from the waist down on the toilet seat, she burst into tears.
"Oh my sweet girl," Rachel said gently and she did everything she could to try and calm Marley down and talk to her, but the poor girl was beside herself with fear. "Santana!" Rachel called through the door and Santana came in moments later.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Mommy," Marley wailed and the poor girl stood up and threw herself at Santana. The sudden movements caused leg spasm and Marley's knee jerked straight into Santana's crotch.
It surprised Santana and she did grunt, but quickly regained her composure. "Shhh, honey, you're okay, calm down sweetheart," Santana said through gritted teeth. "Come on, let's sit back down," she coaxed and sat Marley on the toilet. "Shhh, you're okay, you're okay," Santana told her kindly. "Take a breath, talk to me," Santana coached and Marley had tears pooling in her eyes. Everything was just so hard today for her and she didn't know why.
"Mommy," she cried.
"Alright baby girl, alright," she told her kindly and she pet her face and cooed softly to her and Rachel stood up to leave and give them private time, but Marley started freaking out begging Rachel to stay.
"I think baby girl needs to go home, have a good lunch, and take a nap," Rachel said kindly.
"I think I agree," Santana said and Marley continued to cry. "I also think Mommy needs an ice pack. Can you ask the front desk for one?" Rachel nodded and left, and Marley screamed. She was disappointing everyone. She couldn't do anything right. Her stomach was killing her, she couldn't go to the bathroom, she still couldn't walk, and now she was annoying her mothers. As far as Marley was concerned, life sucked. "Okay, baby girl, look at Mommy," Santana coached. "Breathe for Mommy honey, just breathe, nice and slow. We're going to do this little by little," she said and Marley gasped for breath. "Shhh, just breathe, one step at a time baby, just one," she told her. It took a few minutes, but she finally calmed down. "Marley baby? What do you feel right now sweetheart?" she asked her.
"Owie," she said clutching her left hand to her chest and her right hand to a portion of her stomach. Then her left hand moved up to her head and she went back to crying softly.
"Alright baby girl, Mommy's going to give you two options okay?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Mommy can call Nanny Susan and set you up an appointment for some time today, so you can feel better, immediately, and then we'll go home and rest, or you and I can go home, have a good lunch, take a nap, and while you sleep Mommy will set up your appointment for tomorrow," Santana told her.
Marley reached out and grabbed the first finger and started crying harder. She was being selfish. She was taking Santana away from Noah. She was looking after herself instead of staying at the hospital showing she could be an amazing helper to her Auntie Quinn. Noah needed her and she was leaving him. She couldn't stay though, she was in too much pain. Noah was going to hate her and probably do something to her when he finally made it to their house.
In the other room, Noah was now awake and looking at Quinn, moving his body a bit, in order to get a good view of her. He liked that his mouth felt cleaner. "Mommy," he said softly and Quinn smiled.
"Yes my boy?" she asked him.
"Why Mar-ree cry?" he asked.
"I don't know love. I think she's just having a really bad day," Quinn said.
"Mem-ries?" he asked.
"Possibly. She had a rough morning. She went to the bathroom and got herself stuck inside and it took us a good fifteen minutes to get her out of there. She's been upset ever since," Quinn explained.
"A Coh'set," he said.
"Marley brought her blocks for you, bud, will you spell for us?" Kurt asked him and he nodded. Kurt and Quinn both watched as he worked out his own system. He picked up each block and brought them over to the right, until it was in his line of sight. Then he realized this was going to take forever, and explaining things to help Marley was more important, so he tried a different tactic.
"Mommy," he said. "ABC," he told her and then tapped the table top in a line, trying to indicate he wanted them in alphabetical order.
"You want them in a line bud?" she asked him and he nodded simply.
"ABC pee," he told her.
"An alphabetical line," Quinn smiled and set it up for him. "Alright bud, here are all the letters. I'm going to put your finger on the A to start and you pull out the letters you want," she told him.
He nodded, very quietly said his alphabet and slid the correct letters out of line, so that he had a word spelled out. C..L..O..S..E..T Of course Kurt wasn't quite paying attention and when he looked he saw C..E..L..O..S..T "Who was in a closet Noah?" Quinn asked and Kurt looked amazed. She heard Marley crying and wanted to help her, but Noah was her primary focus right now and she had to pay attention to him.
"Me," he said. "I t'ink Mar-ree too," he told them.
"It would explain why she started freaking out when she couldn't get the bathroom door open," Quinn said thoughtfully. "Noah, I don't want to give you any kind of bad memories, so we don't have to talk about this now, if you don't want to, but did anything happen in the closet?" Quinn asked.
"No," he said honestly. Nothing ever really happened in the closet. It was always just dark and cold and where he personally had spend a lot of time. When Terri got really angry or wanted to forget about him, or had to "hide" him from whatever company she had coming over, that was where he went. He tried to fight her, but only a little bit. He didn't mind the closet so much, because at least it meant he was away from her. He just didn't want her to figure that out, so he would put up a little struggle. Then he listened and he decided that there was something more going on. He pushed the letters back into line and thought for a moment. "Mar-ree, pay-na," he asked hearing her crying in the bathroom.
"I don't know bud," Kurt said honestly. "I know that Marley cries a lot when she's had a bad day and today was not a good day for her," Kurt explained.
"Her 'pay-na?" Noah repeated with concern.
"Can you spell it with your blocks please?" Quinn requested and he very carefully ran through all the letters, until he spelled the word PAIN. "Alright, I will ask," Quinn said. "I'm going to have Kurt stay with you and I'll go talk okay?"
"Papa," Noah said and then nodded that Quinn could leave.
Quinn smiled at Kurt and went to go talk to the girls. Rachel had left the room and still wasn't back yet. Kurt however moved into Noah's line of sight and spoke kindly. "You know buddy, I told you before that you could call me Papa, and you can if you want to, but you don't really have to okay?"
"I wanna," Noah said kindly.
"Alright, as long as you want to, but if you change your mind at some point, know that I'm not going to mind. You have been told, and will continue to be reminded, that you do have a say in how things go. Marley does too. She feels that being a little girl is safer for her, and that we are her family, but she had many days in the hospital to figure that out. I feel like you're being pressured into something you don't want and that's not fair," Kurt explained.
Noah got tense and Kurt backed off. If his monitors showed distress while Quinn was gone, Kurt would be a dead man. As kind as Quinn was, she was as protective of Noah as Santana was of Marley. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry bud. You can call me Papa, but I want you to do it because you want to okay?" Noah simply nodded and snuggled down into the bed. He took Kurt's hand and closed his eyes. Maybe this family would be better than his original one. He decided to start with that, just see where this family would lead him. It couldn't be any worse than Terri. Marley seemed to be thrilled with her family and trust them a lot. He also knew they kept saying he could make choices and decisions of his own. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be anyone's little boy or not, but right now, he did feel safe, and he hadn't had that feeling in years. With one last squeeze to Kurt's hand, Noah drifted to sleep.
Rachel finally returned with an ice pack and handed it to Santana. She put it on the bed and then sat down on it, pulling out her cell phone, while Quinn sat in the chair, holding Marley on her lap. They'd managed to guide her out of the bathroom, and settled on to Quinn's lap. Marley was in pain, and fighting sleep though. She'd get close and then jolt slightly, waking herself up. "Oh shit," Santana said softly and both women looked at her.
"I haven't looked at my phone all morning. Dr. Isabelle wants to get her into the office either this afternoon or in two days," Santana said.
"Who's Dr. Isabelle?" Quinn asked softly.
"A psychotherapist. Marley needs more help than we can give her. She has to work through all of her issues and being a little girl with us, just isn't everything she needs," Santana said.
"So then why oh shit?" Quinn asked calmly.
"Because before Marley goes to see Dr. Isabelle, she should probably go see Nanny Susan and Santana doesn't know which decision to make first," Rachel said.
"Show off," Santana scowled.
"Just keeping sitting on your ice pack," Quinn told Santana. "How about Auntie Quinn has a suggestion," she said kindly and she pet Marley's entire body gently, waiting for her to calm down. Eventually, Marley just hiccuped and Quinn spoke kindly. "Lady Bug," she said kindly. "I know you're in pain sweetheart. What if Mama and Auntie Quinn took you to see Nanny Susan and she made you feel better. Would you be okay with that?" Quinn asked.
"Mommy, I good," she cried looking to Santana with nothing but fear in her eyes. Quinn was just grateful that Noah was sleeping through this particular tantrum.
"Yes you are baby. You are a very good girl," Santana said and she reached out for Marley. Quinn shot her a questioning look. Santana made a grabbing motion with her hands and looked at Quinn seriously. Rachel nudged Quinn gently and she stood up with Marley and lead her to the bed. Santana gathered her baby girl in her arms and the two of them laid down. "Marley Rose, listen to Mommy. You are a very good girl, but right now, sleep," she said.
"Nooo," Marley whined softly.
"Yes. Nap time for Mommy and Marley and Noah. We're going to lay here, together in this bed, and baby girl Marley, is going to take a nap," Santana said and she wasn't messing around. She'd made her decision. The only way Marley was going to get any relief is if she calmed down and the only way that was going to happen was a nap.
An hour later, Marley was finally, peacefully, asleep and Rachel took the moment to speak up. She saw nothing but confusion on her friend's face. "Santana, it's okay to not know, and it's okay to let her be this upset. She's confused and she's not going to get any less confused until she goes to see Dr. Isabelle, but me rubbing her belly, it's not working. She needs to see Nanny Susan," Rachel said.
"I'm not doing anything to or for her when she's that upset, other than holding her. End of discussion," Santana said.