Chapter 24
M sits at the table sipping tea. There will be another call soon from London, about James and this seemingly botched mission.
M is lost in her memories about the day she was told James Bond was dead.
It can't happen to her again...not again.
James Bond and Olivia Jenkins could never be.
M did think the same about his nephew for those years when Nigel still lived and held her heart.
And now...what is this that she is living in...indecisive hell. She is M she cannot be indecisive!
Only in the deep recesses of her mind did she enjoy the flirtation...James' handsome face so reminiscent of the uncle he barely knew. Equal parts Andrew and James Bond with the blonde hair and eyes of his beautiful mother.
They died too young. Charmian told her of their attempts to have other children and the disappointment in her latest miscarriage was the reason behind the vacation without James.
Charmian told her that the life went out of the Bond family when James died...hell then Monique and Andrew. Poor Charmian and James...it could not have been easy.
Olivia kept her distance from James while he grew up. Only seeing him briefly at the funeral of his uncle and his parents. Olivia stayed to the shadows but watched his military career with interest.
It concerned M when he had trouble with the law in his disgruntled youth. The time his guardianship was given temporarily to a German man who was related in some way or had history with Monique. For that time...it was less easy for her to watch him and to expend company resources to do so would have looked odd from her position in Hong Kong.
There was much anger in him. Charmian and Olivia spoke of it. Charmian knew she was keeping an eye on James and would enlist him somehow. After Charmian died there was a letter from her asking Olivia to keep him out of this business...but fate had other plans and regardless of how long she held James Bond back he smashed all those barriers.
The carefully erected wall around herself has been breached and it is joyous and viciously painful all at once.
Loving James Bond...will be the death of her.
Years...grief and loss. M pushed away a man who loves her so much...because of fear of other people's opinions and the circumstances around another man from her past...Silva.
Tiago, that damaged...crippled man who...wanted her. Tiago never did anything calmly...the consuming way he wanted M was an abhorrent and a damaged image of what he thought love was.
M kept telling herself that it was unprofessional. Olivia Mansfield spurned Tiago's attentions...with good bloody reason. Nigel...marriage...children and her bloody job.
Christ M hid behind the mantle of professionalism with more than just Tiago. Tiago sparked her interest for his abilities but he saw more...read more into it than there was. It consumed him and she could see that he was loosing control. Olivia feared the intensity and pushed him away...sealing their fate.
M is still bloody well trying to do the same with James and she already crossed the sexual line with him.
That was the trigger for Silva, Tiago's altered ego.
M took James to bed...but not him. She crossed that line in South Africa and Silva must have realized it when he saw them together.
Jealousy lust and desire for a woman of her age...Silva was so trapped in the past...in his memories of when he was Tiago...he must have seen her as she was then. A woman in her 40's, still just on the cusp...just the tipping point of age.
M tents her hands under her chin as her elbows occupy the space on either side of her tea cup. Her eyes close in exhaustion and remorse.
Remorse for her past decisions...remorse for Nigel...for Marshall the caring brother-in-law who comforted her. Olivia tossed him aside the second James returned from Turkey.
For Tiago, because she misunderstood and dismissed his desires.
Desires seep into the cracks of a persons being, and M should have understood that better.
Personally it only ever happened to her once, with James Bond.
James Bond...he was so close to taking her from Nigel...she refused to acknowledge how close even to herself in the past.
It was a crossroads where Olivia chose her current life trajectory. M does not regret tossing the illusion of an exciting life...of a pair of MI6 operatives aside, for the respectability that Nigel gave her.
Physical attraction ebbs...but Tiago...he was trapped in his attraction because of his incarceration. He kept her secrets...he did...but he came out the other side twisted and angry.
Demanding retribution for his sacrifice. M was his love and his hate and in the end one of them would die.
Silva knew that too. He always was a tricky one...several steps ahead of everyone else. Just like her.
If Tiago had returned to London...he would have been accepted back...possibly. She would have been sorry but glad to have seen him return to them...back then.
After years of scheming and festering hatred...no...MI6 would not have taken him back as the prodigal son Silva so believed he was.
Years distort everything….she could have, should have done this...or that. Regrets are unprofessional and so is falling in love with an agent.
Then there was poor Marshall...Marshall loved her for years and lived a desperate life with a woman he could barely tolerate for the sake of the children.
These choices were affected by her but not deliberately. M can never make better or change how much they loved or hated her and that makes her fall into melancholy as she stares into her cooling tea.
A self analytical case of the...if onlys.
James Bond knows what he wants. He has continuously talked of a time when M will be his wife...why has she been fighting the one man who loves her like she was still 40.
Christ...James must know that he is only going to have a good 10 years, if that and then aging will become an unavoidable discussion.
Then again with his job she could very well become a widow again.
No, if James Bond asks again...if he is willing to marry her...she will say yes.
M squeezes the bridge of her nose. All this turmoil, all this angst are the unhealthy result of worry over James...how can she order him to his possible death when he holds all that is left of her heart?
M's musings are interrupted by Kincade.
"Well dolly. No news?"
"Not yet...I am getting a little worried."
"I am positive he is fine and all the other lads and lasses are gone now. There is only two security and your man Tanner...should we be ready for anything?"
"I would like to say no but...If James is...captured...if it is the man I think it is...he may be coming for me."
"Why?"
"Revenge...that is the theme of my professional life lately. Men wanting their revenge."
"I will look after you lass and there is always the tunnel should anything bad happen."
Ryan calls from down the hall in the command centre. "Mum! Call coming in."
M gets up and runs down the hall.
"Yes Mallory."
The team has flown back to Inverness. The storm is hitting Skye as we speak and there was no sign of White nor Bond on the Island.
"Ok...so he could be on the mainland...Q has no whereabouts on White...has he left Britain?"
We do not know. We have been watching and listening to Dower and nothing has moved between them.
"When can they go into the air again? I want the mainland searched between Skye and Skyfall."
M...are you in danger? Do you think White will come for you?
"Not really...unless he has a death wish. I am not completely unprotected and White is a wanted man in the UK. It may be more likely he has taken off from Skye to Europe...and he may still have Bond."
M...are you ready for the alternative?
"No...I am not. Unless his cold body is dropped at my feet I will never believe James Bond is dead."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
James Bond is stumbling along a dirt road...everything about him aches. He hears a car...he flags it down.
"Thank you for stopping...my car broke down."
A woman and man pick him up in their range rover.
"Where are you headed?" The man asks.
"I don't know where I am? I got disoriented in the fog. I was on Skye."
"Well you are near to Dornie...on the mainland now lad." The woman tells him.
"I'm Ian and my wife is Joan."
"James, do you have a mobile I could use to call my wife?"
"We do but out here it rarely works. We can take you home to use the land line. Are you ill...you look woozie?"
"I fell and I bumped my head."
"I was a nurse for many years. I thought you looked out of sorts...did you sleep at all?"
"No...I stayed awake...I am very tired...thirsty. I have not had anymore than a sip from a creek."
"Oh my...here dear. I have a bottle of water right here."
"Thank you Joan."
"Let's get you home and I will give you a look over. You can call your wife and then we can drive you into town if you like."
"That sounds perfect...thank you so much. Could you tell me the time?"
"2 pm. Have you been walking long?"
"Since before dawn...I tried to keep East but I may have wandered off."
"My god...you've been out a while...you must come have something to eat and get cleaned up before you leave."
"The wife needs me back as soon as possible...I really need to get going."
"Not before I check your head young man...Ian tell him that he need proper looking after or he is liable to go unconscious and get himself killed."
"I would listen to her James...never question a nurse."
James sits back against his seat closing his eyes...he is entirely exhausted. The next thing he knows Joan is nudging him and waking him up.
James follows the couple into their home and sits at the table while Ian puts away their shopping and starts the tea. Joan pulls out a doctor's bag and begins checking him out...she makes him remove his coat.
"Tell me again how you feel lad? I am retired but I know a man who has taken a beating when I see one."
"I was in a fight in the pub last night...had a bit too much."
"That sounds like as about as close to the truth that I am going to get from you."
James smiles as she tends to his cuts and gives him some ice for his head. Ian gives him a cup of tea and a sandwich.
"I want you to eat and go upstairs to the bath and get cleaned up. Then you had better sleep."
"No I need to rent a car...get going home."
"Ian will call and have them hold a car out for you while you sleep. That will take a least an hour so you go get cleaned up and then call home."
"Ok...I never argue with a beautiful woman."
"My goodness you have been hit hard lad." Joan and Ian laugh.
"I can see that arguing with you is useless Joan. I will go get cleaned up."
Later there is a knock on the bathroom door. James had fallen asleep in the tub.
"James...did you fall asleep? I cleaned your clothes and dried them...you've been out a couple of hours"
"Yes...I will be right out."
Damn it! He has to get going. It is a two hour drive to Skyfall...it's late now...christ he has to try to call M.
There is a sudden bang of thunder. The storm has arrived.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ryan is taking care of the meals as Tanner and Judi spend some alone time in the bunk house cleaning it out...or so they say.
M paces and silently gets lost in her thoughts again. Kincade putters around getting ready for the storm.
The search for Bond has been delayed until the morning.
Ryan hands a cup of tea to Kincade. "I think you should take her out for dinner. It will get her mind off James. Tanner, Judi and I will stay in contact with base."
"I will ask her lad...but her heart is not in it I can tell that."
Judi and Tanner come inside with baskets full of laundry...looking very flushed. Ryan smiles at them.
"Did you manage alright...it took you a while?"
Judi elbows her brother on the way to the laundry machine.
"Any word on Bond?" Tanner asks.
"No and I was telling Kincade that he should take mum to dinner at the MacKenzie's tonight just to get her mind off things."
"What about the storm?" Judi asks.
"I can drive in the rain and it is not here yet, if it hits at all...just windy and could vear north." Kincade says.
"I will go look in on M...you three conspire to get her out of the house." Tanner leaves and goes down to the command centre.
Judi starts the laundry.
"I think you should take her Kincade...she is just staring off into nothing all day today. At least she will be forced to interact and play the role she has set out for everyone to believe. God, Ryan...what if he is dead?"
"I don't even want to think about it Jude."
"Nor do I young lady. I will go see to the windows...make sure nothing will go wrong if this storm does get bad. I'm not worried about the house...it was made to stand the test of time."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Tanner comes into the room seeing M talking to Q. Q is rather animated and Tanner prays it is good news.
"Slow down Q. What has happened?"
M Bond's card has been run at a car rental agency on the mainland. It is the company card. He must not have a mobile and made them run the card to alert us.
M smiles and exhales a breath she did not realize she had been holding all bloody day.
"Thank god! He is alive and kicking still. James must have killed White and escaped capture."
Mallory come into view of the screen.
How can we be positive that it is Bond using that card?
Tanner and M both smile back at them.
"The special corporate card given to 00's is rarely ever swiped. The agents memorize the number and give it by mobile or convince the clerks to punch in the numbers. It can never be declined unless I personally freeze it."
This is excellent news then!
"Yes...it is. James Bond is alive and only... a few hours away from home."
I hope the storm does not delay him too much and please call us when he arrives or contacts you M.
"I will Mallory...and should he contact base first...please call us."
Q smiles. We will M...Tanner. Have a good evening.
Tanner disconnects the call and M stands up...looking downright emotional. Tanner wraps her in his arms and she hugs him back just as hard.
Tanner pulls away enough to look down on M.
"Thank god M...I have been on eggshells all day."
M smiles up at him. "Really and here I thought you had just been fooling around with my daughter all day?" M winks at him mischievously.
Tanner beams down at her.
"Well...how can I resist such a beautiful woman."
Judi open the door in time to hear Bill say, "Well...how can I resist such a beautiful woman."
Judi sees her mother in Tanners arms beaming in happiness and Bill looking down on her with the very same emotion. Her gut clenches as she takes in the scene.
Tanner leans down and kisses her mother...on the lips!
Her bloody mother! Bond told her that Tanner was smitten with M.
Olivia Mansfield is apparently, at 65 years of age, the Marilyn Monroe of the fucking espionage world!
Judi backs out of the room and quietly closes the door.
Tears threaten to spill as she runs for the stairs and the solace of her room.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The gentle kiss that Tanner gives M is just a friendly one and she knows not to take it the wrong way. The two of them are just so relieved to know that James lives.
The leave the den and walk down the hall. Tanner's arms still draped over her shoulder as they find Ryan and Kincade making a fire in the living room.
"Storm will bring a damp chill so I thought we would light one. Well now the two of you look happy...what is it?"
"James is alive. He rented a car on the mainland and is likely on the way back soon."
"Fantastic mum! This is excellent news. No call though?"
"He must not have a mobile. The card is only able to be used by him so we are convinced he is on his way soon."
Tanner frowns. "Where is Judi?"
"She ran upstairs after going to visit you in the command centre." Ryan says.
Tanner and M frown. "We never saw her...oh dear. I had better go talk to her."
"What is it mum?"
Tanner blushes as his arm comes off M's shoulder.
"M we have to be leaving within the hour to get to the MacKenzie's for dinner. I accepted on your behalf because the young lass said it would do you good to get out."
"Oh...fine. I will change and go explain the compromising position Judi caught us in Tanner."
Ryan looks from one to the other...remembering the way Tanner so casually had an arm draped over his mother's shoulder and rolls his eyes.
"You have got to be kidding me! Mum...could you keep your lips off every man in the area? For god's sake Kincade just told me of your lip lock with Callum yesterday."
"I did not kiss them!"
"It is true, Ryan. I kissed your mum...I was just so happy James is alright. We hugged and I kissed her...Judi must have walked in at the wrong moment."
"I will deal with this." M says as she moves to the stairs.
"I am sorry Ryan...it was just a moment...really."
"And what have you been up to with my sister today anyway Tanner? She is in a delicate state with the week we've been having any more chaos may send us into therapy for the rest of our lives."
"I...well I really like Jude...she is a beautiful woman."
"Yes and as you've pointed out...she looks and sounds like my mother. Is this you just putting your misplaced feelings for my mother onto Jude?"
"No...really Jude is brilliant and we have much in common."
Kincade shakes his head. "That lass...your mother she is a magnet. Power attracts boy and she has that in spades. You have to get use to it and I know that there is no harm in Tanner hugging her...they are close. I have been noticing Tanners gaze does not leave your sister when she is in the room either."
"No but when she leave his eyes are only for my mum instead." Ryan says exasperated.
"Well she is my boss. I have to watch her...I promised Bond I would and so did the two of you."
"Fine. I'm sorry for the accusation Bill. It has been a bizarrely informative week and I have had to come to terms with her job...taking my uncle as a lover, Bond, Kincade, Callum and now you...you have got to admit that is a lot. Not to mention that ass Silva who took her and...abused her."
"I know Ryan and that was hard on all of us. I am sorry. I will try to contain my joy, the next time I get caught hugging M."
"The next time...I hope Bond is here to deal with your quick hands and lips."
The three men laugh at the thought of Tanner getting away with kissing M while he is in the room.
"I already had to do it in front of him is South Africa...I think steam actually came out of his ears."
"That would be something worth seeing." Ryan says, "I am still not sure about his relationship with my mother."
"James Bond has always loved your mother lad." Kincade adds.
Tanner nods, "it was only obvious to a few of her closest employees but there was always something there Ryan. Believe me...as far back as their first meeting."
"Everyone keeps telling Judi and I that, but it hardly makes us feel any better because for a long time our poor father sat practically ignored in their flat while men like Bond drooled all over our mum!"
"You and your sister have had a strange week. It will get better between all of you. Having your mother actually showing an emotional connexion to the two of you and Bond...it is nice to see. Isn't that better than the non-existent relationship the three of you have been having for the last 10 years Ryan?"
"Yes...yes it is. But...Tanner, I hope for your sake Jude is willing to listen to mum or you might be the one in the dog house."
To be continued...