Author's Note: Heyho, guys! I know I've taken some time to post something new, and I apologize for that, but term papers... and then I had five other ideas rummaging through my head that I had to write down, or else they would have been gone forever. I have the memory of a goldfish (that's about 3 seconds). Anyway, I hope you'll like the new chapter. I hope I'll be able to update more regularly from now on... now that the term papers are finally gone for good... till the next come.
Read, review, enjoy ;)
Irony. On the one hand, a way to make fun of other people, a situation, a thing. A handy tool to appear smarter than the others, to have this feeling of being better than the rest of the world, universe, realm, because you know so much better that you stand above things. One of the few uplifting moments that allow you to pull through even the darker hours of life, after all, you can still flash a smile and make a comment. On the other hand, if your life turns ironic, then you have lost the battle to the forces of epic irony. Your life, your very being, becomes a farce. You suddenly become this clownish figure that dances around in the hope that someone takes it for real, for what is behind the heavy make-up and checkered clothes. You can be as cunning and witty as you want, once your life becomes a theater performance, there is just no longer a way back for you. And in contrast to a real theater, you cannot go offstage once the performance is over, wash off the make-up and return to real life. Why? Because once your life is irony, the final curtain never falls. You are stuck onstage for all to see, for all you made fun of to laugh at you now, laugh so hard that tears spring to their eyes. And aren't you an intriguing funny clown, then?
Tony, Bruce, and Thor are in the kitchen, eating breakfast after yesterday's "mega-awesome", to quote Stark, party. Thor is trying to drown himself in his huge bowl of cereal, the melancholy ever so clear in his features. After the conversation he had with Loki, everything just broke down in front of him, everything that he thought he had fixed or could fix... it broke again, shattered like glass that falls to the ground. And this loss feels about as bad as the one Thor felt tugging at his heart when he believed Loki dead. At some point, the thunderer only gets the feeling that Loki died all over again, to him. Because he was too late? Maybe, probably, even. Really, just when became life such an idle endeavor?
Tony and Bruce grimace at the scene. They saw him sulking before, but this is definitely new.
"Are we supposed to say something?" Tony asks Bruce, holding up his newspaper a bit higher so that Thor can't see his mouth... though Tony doubts that Thor would even bother to care, as lost as he eye-sexes the (pastry) bowl of Cheerios. The doctor turns to him, copying his movement, "Like what?"
"Dunno? Just what this is about? Or why he tries to drown in his cereal?" Tony makes a face, but Bruce argues, "I think we'd do better at keeping out of this."
"But... this is weird," Tony argues.
"Tony, for once, be discrete," Bruce sighs. Tony nods, then turns to Thor, "Yo, Big Guy, what's wrong with ya?"
Bruce smacks his forehead. Tony is many things, and many great things, actually, but discretion seems to be none of his features, no, it's most definitely none of his features. Thor blinks at Tony almost blearily, "What? Uh, I am sorry. I was... absent... for a moment. Never mind."
"Well, you're kinda down since the party. Was just wondering," Tony asks.
"I... no, everything is fine. Thank you," Thor assures quickly. He considers them his friends, but that doesn't mean that the thunderer airs his dirty linen in public. At least that is what he was taught since he was a child... even if it became incredibly regular that people try to get into his business, but Thor came to the conclusion that this is a human peculiarity of some sort that he finds charming to some degree, since it seemingly implies a great deal of care from the other party.
"Uh-huh," Tony replies, not buying any of it. Bruce nudges him into the side lightly, glaring at him, but Tony remains unimpressed. After all, everyone thought that Loki and Thor put some of their drama to rest, but after the party... well, they can't tell for sure, but it would come as a huge surprise if Thor's muteness and Loki's aloofness were not good indicators that something is at sixes and sevens.
Thor takes another (serving) spoonful of the cereal as suddenly Loki enters the kitchen, her eyes instantly on him – and God, can she open them far. It's as though her emerald eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Thor looks equally shocked, which results in all milk from the spoonful of cereal dribbling down his chin. But instead of Loki's typical banter, she simply turns on the heel and disappears again wordlessly, before either one can say anything.
And that was the confirmation: Sixes and sevens ahead...
"Big Guy, you can shut your mouth now. The cereal tries to get back out," Tony snickers.
"What?" Thor stutters. Tony gestures nods at Thor's chin. The thunderer looks down at himself, now realizing that he has milk all over his chin and chest. He hastily wipes it off with his forearm, the well-mannered Asgardian he is.
"So you're sure everything's alright?" Tony cocks an eyebrow at him.
"What? Yes, why?" Thor asks, blinking at him.
"Uhm, coz you just deadpanned over your cereal – and Loki, who normally takes any challenge, ran from the room as though she was freaked out of her mind?" Tony suggests.
"... I don't know what you are talking about," Thor grumbles.
"Well, let's just say that you two are being awkward?" Tony goes on.
"We are what?" Thor makes a face, not understanding what Tony tries to get across here, so Tony goes on to explain, "Awkward, like... uhm, well, weird, odd, embarrassed, acting like teenagers, simply awkward. When you see each other, you have like a major panic attack. I mean... we all thought you kinda came to terms... some... and now this?"
"I do not wish to talk about it," Thor mutters.
"But...," Tony wants to say, but Bruce quickly interrupts him, "And we respect that, because it's a private matter between those two, isn't it, Tony?"
"But not when it is about the team, right? If you two can't even look at each other, then this will backfire on us in the fight. And I would rather not end up as toast because you two have the drama on your side again," Tony argues.
"Tony, shut up already," Bruce glares at him, but Thor admits, "We... argued. That's all I have to say. And when the time comes, we will work well enough together that you shall see no difference, Master Stark."
"See? Problem solved," Bruce glances at Tony, but he just goes on, "But if we now..."
"Tony, shut up," Bruce growls.
"I just...," Tony wants to say, but doesn't get to it because Bruce shushes him, "Tony."
Tony throws his hands in the air, "Fine, I'm shutting up... okay, let's start to work!"
Tony and Bruce get up instantly and make their way over to the door, and thus move out of the danger zone. Thor remains seated, intently focused on his cereal. The two shrug at each other before taking off.
A few days later, Thor is sitting in the lounge area along with Steve and Clint, watching the news. He sits on the rim of the couch, arms folded over the strong chest, intently focused on what the host has to say.
The door opens, once again, and, once again, Loki steps in. Thor, perfectly taken by surprise, drops off the couch in a loud thud. Steve can't hold back a laughter at that scene, because it is just such a slapstick moment, just looked like in the movies. Loki tilts her head with a hint of curiosity as she crosses over to them.
"Hey, Loki," Steve greets her, coughing into his hand to stop laughing.
"Captain. Master Barton...," Loki bows to them as politely as ever before she walks behind the sofa, where Thor still lies on the ground. She bends down a bit, "... Thor."
Clint looks over the couch to see the scene behind them – and now starts laughing also, which surely means something.
"Will you stay there?" she asks almost in a soft voice. Thor nods with his face still to the ground. Loki nods back, gets back up, and rounds the corner to sit back down, now between Steve and Clint, who now stare at Loki, and then at Thor again. With Asgardians it never gets boring, as it seems.
"Uhm, are you two okay?" Steve frowns at Loki, who looks at him perfectly calm, "Perfect. Why?"
Steve makes a face. Isn't it obvious?
"Because Thor just kissed the ground and won't get back up?" he suggests, but Loki waves her hands almost dismissively, "Oh, that... no, he does that a lot when he is having an air of embarrassment. He just has to sit it out, or in this case... lie it out."
"Aha," Clint nods, faking, well, understanding. The God of Mischief turns her head to the TV after that, and intently watches TV, taking no notice of Thor, who remains on the ground. Steve and Clint frown, but then simply give in – with Asgardians you just never know. The only thing you know is that you shouldn't make them angry at you... that can have really hurtful consequences for you.
After a while, the door opens again and Natasha comes inside. Clint and Steve instantly start to hide their smirks. Natasha frowns as she comes to sit on the couch as well. As she does, she notices Thor behind the couch, "Why is Thor lying behind the couch?"
Clint and Steve burst out laughing at that.
"Guys? Is this some kinda sick Asgardian version of Hide and Seek?" Natasha grimaces.
"He just needs a moment," Steve nods, trying to act serious, but fails. Loki chooses that moment to get up from her seat.
"Good day, everyone," she says before she leaves without another word. Natasha frowns at the other two, who just shrug back at her.
"Do we have to help him get back up now?" she asks, but Clint and Steve just shrug at her again. How would they know?
Loki makes her way over to the lab after the encounter with Thor, where Bruce is already waiting for her arrival, "Ah, there you are."
"In fact, here I am," she smirks. "I just wanted to watch the news little quick."
"Why do you?" he frowns. "I thought they are just bogus to you?"
"The host's toupee is just so ridiculous. It always moves around on his head," she snickers.
"That is the only reason you watch the news?" he frowns.
"The main reason," she shrugs.
"I see," Bruce scratches the back of his head. "Here, uhm, got your tasks for the day."
She takes the folder from him and skims through the pages, nodding occasionally, her mind visibly working on possible solutions. Loki sits down in her chair and starts to scribble on her notepad. Even if she is proficient with the computers now, thanks to Bruce's and Tony's teaching, she still rather starts to work on good old paper. Or as she always underlines – out of an air of nostalgia. When Bruce asked her, she simply shrugged and said that she is a creature of habit.
They work silently for a while, until Bruce finally brings himself to ask her, "Will you tell me what's going on between you and Thor? And you know what I'm talking, so don't even try to give me that wise remark of 'I don't know what you are talking about'."
"I'm fully aware that we are ridiculous around each other," she admits, much to his surpris. "It is simply that I don't know how to avoid that."
"Then why are you awkward to each other? You know, if you want to solve a problem, you have to tackle its source," Bruce reminds her.
"Well, we are the source for each other's discomfort, so to speak. So... perhaps we would do good at simply having a traditional Aesir duel, to death. Get rid of the source, get rid of the problem, no?" she suggests sarcastically. Bruce chuckles lightly, "Please don't kill each other. Romeo and Juliet didn't have much of killing themselves either, even if they committed suicide, but... you know what I mean."
"True again. I liked this play particularly for its ending," she snickers, which makes Bruce frown at her, "Not for the love story in between?"
"Oh, that is cliché, isn't it? I mean... a love that cannot be, mustn't be... and families in the way... that is typical," she argues, "Now the ending was striking, because actually epic irony got the better of them."
Of course it doesn't go without her notice that their current situation could be described in similar terms. Two rivaling families... Aesir and Jotun... a love that shouldn't be... and the prospect of a tragic ending. Just when did they become such a cliché?
"I forgot that you find that kinda morbid stuff totally hilarious," Bruce chuckles. All gave up long time ago to argue about her kind of humor.
"Quite right," Loki grins.
"Why are you and Thor so awkward around one another?" Bruce asks again.
"We talked about a very private matter... and now it's hard to be around each other with the revelation that came with it," Loki admits. She would rather bury this somewhere deep down in the ground, but she knows by now that her time on earth made her somewhat soft. Loki actually enjoys maintaining friendships with the Avengers, and that also involves not to live in a capsule, and it means to actually reveal yourself at some point.
"Huh?" Bruce frowns at her, so Loki goes on, "It would take far long too explain it all. After all, whatever business I have with Thor reaches back eons of time. In short... we both said things we normally wouldn't have, and perhaps shouldn't have, and now we are just... trying to come up after the dive again, you see. And that takes a while."
"Well, I am just wondering – I never saw you running off like a few days ago, in the kitchen," he argues.
"That was because it was just the first time to see each other after that conversation... and I was not ready," she admits. "And when I'm unprepared, I actually have the habit to flee. I rather have my composure. A plan. Something I lacked back then."
"Okay," he nods.
"Now I have one," she replies.
"And that plan is?" he frowns.
"Hm, I read about exposure therapy. I suppose this might be something worth a try," Loki shrug.
"So... you don't avoid him anymore... until it's no longer awkward?" Bruce asks.
"Well, even if I'm not all too sure about the success of this kind of approach, even I can see that avoiding us till the end of days will do nothing to resolve the issue in any way... and it will be hard on a mission. We would always have to fight back to back... or I find myself some other team of superheroes that would like to take me in. I don't find that option satisfactory, which is why I want to try the former," she explains. Bruce can't help but smirk. He knows that Loki is much more emotional than she likes to show, but it never ceases to amaze him how she still tries to find an analytic approach to her feelings and emotional situation. When Loki has a problem, she reads it up, be it contemporary literature, philosophical papers, or scientific theories. She just wants to get to the bottom of things, understand the things she can't figure out yet, and then make a rational, and hopefully smart, decision. Yet, and that is probably the most ironic aspect of it all, that is exactly what causes most of her confusion. At some point, you can't figure out feelings, because they are well, feelings.
"Well, since that is a plan I didn't share with the God of Thunder yet, I suppose it will be mostly Thor who will give you all comic relief for a while longer. He just proved so by hiding behind the sofa," she mutters, shaking her head, which makes her curly her bounce up and down.
"That bad, huh?" Bruce grimace sympathetically.
"Thor is rather predictable in that regard. He already did that as a child," Loki shrugs.
"Hiding behind the sofa?" Bruce grimaces.
"No, that was out of the moment," she chuckles, before her eyes drift off at the memory. "As children we used to spar a lot, and Thor loved it. Of course he did, the stupid oaf. But even with his great strength, he failed here and there and lost a fight, stumbled, tripped, the usual troubles of a klutz. He fell to the ground, more often than he'd like to admit. And that was when he would just stay in that spot and in that fashion until the embarrassment had passed him. That trait has survived till this day."
"Must've looked really funny," Bruce smirks. If you see Thor today, it's not hard to imagine him as a klutzy child. That guy breaks more glass than the Hulk at times – because Thor just won't drink out of plastic cups. However, apart from that he is somewhat tougher, calmer, more sophisticated (even if he forgets about it here and there). Especially if you consider his great strength and ability to fight, it gets hard to imagine that even he had to train to get to the point where he became the God of Thunder who took on entire armies of different races.
"Oh, it is extremely amusing," Loki huffs. And that is actually true. The memories of Thor's face planted into mud after he just got Mjölnir and wanted to show off, but failed, are the most vivid in her mind... and how hard Loki laughed at his ridiculousness. And it was on this one certain occasion when they were still so young and didn't know better that Thor actually did it to cheer Loki back up after the prince had been defeated by Volstagg. If only both had known already back then what would become of them... namely this here, pathetically ridiculous fools who became a theatrical cliché of themselves.
"Then what do you do when you feel totally embarrassed?" Bruce asks curiously. Loki takes a moment of consideration before she shrugs her shoulders, "Different things. I play a trick here and there. I suppose that this is something anyone who's ever read our lore should be aware of. As the God of Mischief you have a certain reputation. Other than that, I actually go and leave a situation and return composed later... or I get snappy, as Master Stark would coin it."
"Good to know," he winks at her.
"Well, so you see... Thor and I are both creatures of habit... not only in creating drama and being utmost ridiculous, but also with our... coping mechanisms," she says.
"And you're sure you can't resolve this somehow by talking it out?" Bruce argues.
"I fear there is just too much to talk about," Loki replies. "... or too much that's already been said."
And now there is just no longer a way back, as it seems.
"You are immortal. Don't you have like... all time in the world?" Bruce huffs playfully.
"I fear even the times of all universes would not suffice..." Loki murmurs. She falls silent after that and refrains to her studies. Bruce sighs, but eventually gives in.
Neither one is willing to talk about it, well, then that is so.