Hello everyone,
I hope you are all well. Again, life has gone insane for me this weekend, so you get a Saturday update, instead of a Sunday update.
Secondly, I appreciate everyone who left me feedback regarding my poll. Yes, I will be posting it, only when Baby Steps is finished though, and to answer two major questions...
A) I posted a poll because I wasn't sure anyone would read it at all and if they did, I thought it would get a LOT of negative feedback. Now those of you who have said you won't read it, don't have to, and I won't get as much hate reviews. I didn't know Will was so unliked. To each their own though.
B) Someone, well two someones, asked me why I put the warning about genitals. That was a choice, based on my own personal preference. I like age play, but I don't like sexual age play when it's a master/pet situation, and for my story it's a master/pet age play (kind of) situation. So for the people who are like me, and get squicked out by sexual age play, at least you would be warned ahead of time.
On to the story - Warnings for this chapter: Marley starts therapy. This is a light beginning, later chapters will be more intense. Noah also has a few moments in this story where his bruises are described in greater detail. Read with caution.
As always - thanks to to NayaFan, UnholyUnderBoob, & Beaner008 for their inspiration and encouragement. Also, many thanks to my followers, reviewers, and the people who send me lovely PM's and reminded me how much they like this story and why I continue to write it.
Be well friends
Marley cried in Santana's arms. She was terrified. She didn't know how to do this and what was more, was she didn't know why she had to. She didn't want to talk to anyone about anything. "I good, I no go Mommy. Pee," she pleaded and Santana sighed.
"This isn't punishment my sweet girl. Far from it, but you need to talk to a professional. Someone who can help you figure everything out so you aren't so scared of things," she tried.
"No!" Marley cried and she hung on tight to Santana, trembling while they waited for Dr. Isabelle to come into the room. The session was going to be held at the club and when Marley heard who she was going to be talking to, she broke down. "I good!" she wailed, and that was when Isabelle chose to enter. She stood silently at the door and watched.
"Shhh, yes baby girl, you are. Marley is a very good girl. Santana's good girl, but I can't give you everything you need, so we have to get you more help," she tried and Marley continued to cry.
"No, Mommy!" she pleaded. She didn't want Santana to leave her. She didn't want to be turned away to someone else. She was trying damn it. She was doing everything she could and not getting better fast enough and because of that, she was going to have to leave.
"Santana, put her in the crib please," Isabelle said.
"What? No!" Santana said seriously and every Mama Bear instinct came rushing up to the surface.
"Would you like my help or not?" Isabelle asked firmly.
"Marley doesn't go in cribs, because Marley isn't a baby. She likes some baby things, there is a gigantic difference in that. I'm not a phsycotherapist and even I know that!"
"When she is in two separate worlds yes, there is, but right now, she is torn. She's trying to be a 'big girl' for you so you don't send her away, she wants to please you, and yet, I can see all over her face that her 'baby girl' world is where she needs to be. Please put her in the crib. As soon as she realizes that you are not leaving, then we can talk to her, but right now, she thinks you are leaving her. I want space between you. I want separation. I want her to learn and understand that you, Santana, as Mommy, are not leaving her and she's not going to get that, if you do not put her in the crib and back away," Isabelle said strongly.
Dr. Isabelle sounded a lot like Miss Beth, and if Miss Beth found out that Santana had been the one to give a hard time, she'd be spanked for sure, possibly in front of Marley. So she held her little girl close and thought for a few moments. "Is there no other way?" she asked, "because I know my Marley, very well, and I would prefer it if muscle spasms and vomiting were not involved," Santana said seriously, but tried to keep her voice kind. It was a great struggle though. Luckily for her, Dr. Isabelle recognized Santana's efforts. This was not her first rodeo.
"I'm not sending you out of the room. I'm not even sending you out of sight. You can stand in front of the crib and talk to her, and touch her through the bars and almost anything else you want, but she has to be in it and you have to be "away" from her, so to speak.
Santana let out a low growl as she thought back to the toothbrush incident. Marley had done it. Santana was 'removed' from the situation and Marley did everything she was asked to do. This was killing her though. She wanted to be the one to help her baby, but she also knew in her heart of hearts that she didn't have all the answers when it came to this. Topics of how to take care of your adult baby girl who suffered torture weren't usually covered in high school. It wasn't even covered in college. So she decided to try it. She took a deep breath and put Marley in the crib. Marley screamed but Santana simply cuddled her and kissed her cheek. "Shhh," Mommy's right here," she told her. "I'm right here and I haven't left you," she told her.
"Rails up," Isabelle said.
"She's going to lose it even more than she already has," Santana protested weakly.
"Then you have nothing to worry about. From what I see, she is at rock bottom, so the only place left to go is up," she said. Santana went to protest but Isabelle simply looked at her. "Rails up, please," she said and with a very heavy heart, Santana did as asked and Marley set to screaming. Her back locked out in spasm and she curled up tighter and Santana was twitching. She had to do what Isabelle said. The only way to get her baby better and less afraid was to go through therapy.
"Peel the onion," she said softly and slowly to herself. It didn't drown out Marley's cries, or make things magically better, but it gave her something to focus on. Onions, for the most part stunk. If all the outer skin was on, then it didn't smell so bad, but that first peel was terrible. Removing that first layer of protection, let out all the stink, and the deeper you went, the worse it got, until you fried or browned or cooked or sauteed the onion and added other things to it. Then it wasn't bad. One of her favorite soups was french onion. "And how exactly do you plan on cooking her?" Santana asked, not realizing she had gone very far into her thought process and then verbalized only a small part of it.
"I'm not cooking her," Isabelle smiled. "Have a seat in front of her, and do whatever it is you think will work, to gain her attention," Isabelle said kindly and she pulled up the little child seat next to Santana, who stood there and sang. She practically belted, just so Marley would hear her.
"Mommy!" Marley called after several moments, realizing Santana was still there.
"Get closer, let her touch you," Isabelle said kindly and Santana was right on top of the crib. Marley reached through the bars and held on for dear life. "Keep singing please," Isabelle said. "Change the song though. Make it something she can sing too. Keep it young and simple please," she told her and Santana started to sing the alphabet. She finished and Isabelle told her to sing it again. She sang it probably thirty times, while every so often Isabelle would ask Marley questions. They were very simple questions. Was she in pain? Could she see Santana? Did she understand everything going on? The biggest question was do you hear me and Marley nodded that she did. Marley nodded that because, all she knew was yes would get her out of where she was. That's how things worked. When Terri wanted Marley to do something that Marley didn't want to do, Terri kept bothering her with it until Marley finally agreed to do whatever it was and then it would be over.
"Marley, what's one plus one?" Dr. Isabelle asked and Marley nodded yes. Santana looked concerned about that but Dr. Isabelle spoke kindly. "Just remain calm Santana, I'm nearly done," Isabelle said. "Marley, do cats bark?" Marley nodded yes. "Marley are you a seven foot tall gentleman?" Marley nodded yes again.
"She can't hear you?" Santana asked in shock and realization.
"She can't hear anything," Isabelle said and Santana shook her head no. That couldn't be true. "You can get her out Santana. Hold her, cuddle her, get her to calm down, but the session isn't over, we've only just started," she said seriously. Santana all but rushed to put the rails down and Marley threw herself at her. She held on for dear life and trembled violently.
"Shhh, Mommy's here, you're okay baby. Shhh," Santana said and she soothed her over and over again, making some sense and some nonsense.
"Marley, I want you to raise your hand when you hear me," Isabelle said and Marley nodded.
"She obviously hears you now," Santana said protectively and Marley pressed her ear against Santana's chest while she continued to nod.
"Are you sure about that? She's nodding, but she's not raising her hand, and I didn't ask if she understood, I gave her a simple instruction," Isabelle said and she watched as Marley clung tighter to her 'mother', apparently trying to find something familiar. Santana regarded the situation a little more closely and sighed and then the lightbulb went off for her. "Stay calm Santana. Tell me what you just realized but continue to stay calm please,"
"We always ask her yes or no questions. None of us paid attention, I don't think. She has these melt downs every so often and we always just thought she went quiet so she could calm down, but if she went quiet, because she can't hear us, I can't even begin to imagine what we made her do when we thought she was saying yes, when she was in fact just nodding, but why is she nodding," Santana asked.
"Marley appears to be suffering from a condition called Conversion Disorder. In her case, when she gets hysterical, she essentially goes deaf."
"She's deaf?"
"No, she's not, but something so traumatic happened to her that when she gets that upset, she does "go deaf" for some time. When she calms down and the psychological threat is gone, then she hears you. I don't think you did any damage if that's what you're worried about. She clearly still wants you, based on what I see. What I have to figure out is why she thinks she'll be taken away from you," Isabelle said.
Quinn and Noah were at home and Quinn decided that Noah looked much too bored. "Noah love, are you okay?" she asked him kindly.
"Mar-ree," he said sadly.
"Yes, I miss Marley too. She'll be home soon, she just had to go to therapy. I promise she'll be home soon bud," Quinn told him.
"Mommy," he said softly.
"Yeah bud?" she asked him.
"When me?" he asked pointing to his eye.
"You start your therapy next week," she smiled. "Tomorrow you go for your pre-op and then next week, Mr. Darren will be coming to help you with therapy," she told him.
"What kinda t'air'pee?" he asked.
"I don't know, shall we research it together now? This way you might be a little better prepared?" she asked and he nodded his agreement. He liked the idea of knowing things before they happened. He had tried to do that when it came to Terri, but she had kidnapped him and just did whatever it was that she wanted.
Quinn smiled and took his hand gently. "Let's go sit at the computer together then," she said kindly.
"No," he said. "Bat-room," he told her softly.
"Oh, okay, do you want my help or can you go on your own?" she asked him kindly. She gave him the option every time and only once had he gone on his own. He had needed help, but didn't want to take it. He didn't want to be the boy who couldn't go to the bathroom by himself, but one shot on his own, resulted in him not being able to clean himself up very well and it left him, sore and uncomfortable, so every time after that, he took Quinn with him. He liked that she talked to him. He liked that she asked him questions, basic ones, while she helped him clean up and never commented about how his body looked. She was always calm and relaxed around him.
"He'p pee," he said.
"Alright," she said kindly. "I'm going to move behind you and guide you that way," she told him and he nodded. He put his arms out in front of him slightly, palms down, leaving just enough space for Quinn to slip her arms around his body and lace their fingers together. He smiled when he felt her and then gripped her fingers a little bit tighter. He loved how careful she was with him.
She lead him into the bathroom and had him hold on to the sink. "Who undoes your pants buddy?"
"Um, you," he told her. He was feeling a little bit weak today. He and Marley had been moving around a lot during the morning and it made him tired enough to want to lay down and rest for a few hours.
"I can do that," she said. "Okay love, buttons first," she said undoing it, "then the zipper," she said sliding it down, "and now we slip down your pants," she said and they sort of fell down, pooling around his ankles. "My hands on your hips buddy," she told him kindly.
"Yes Mommy," he said softly.
"Are you sure buddy?" she asked him. It was a question with double meaning. She hadn't been expecting to be Mommy to him. He had said he didn't go see Terri for that, where as Marley had. It was also Quinn checking to make sure that he was prepared for her to touch him. She didn't want to do anything without his knowledge. He'd had enough of someone else taking control of his life.
"Yes Mommy," he said again and she nodded.
"Okay, underwear coming down and then you just have to sit back to sit on the toilet." He nodded and waited for her hands to slip down to his knees. Once he felt that, then he knew he could sit down. He sat down and pushed his penis into the bowl, so that he didn't pee all over her. Quinn had to hold her breath. It was a sight that she would never get used to. His genitals were just so purple and swollen and she couldn't imagine how he wasn't in pain. He sat for a while and Quinn waited patiently in front of him. She was going to ask him something, but he beat her to it.
"Mommy?" he asked.
"What's up bud?"
"Mar-ree ta'k bow c'eme," he told her.
"Yes, Marley talks about the aloe cream that she used to use all the time," Quinn said.
"Can I?" he asked softly.
"Absolutely. If you think you're ready for aloe cream on your cheeks, we can gently rub some in and in a few days no more bruises at all. Rachel says that the aloe works miracles," Quinn said.
"Mama," he smiled.
"Noah buddy, can Mommy ask you a question?"
"Yeh," he said after a moment.
"Do you remember in the hospital when you and Marley were talking about how you went to see Terri?" He nodded. "I remember Marley asking you, if you wanted to be someone's little boy and you said no, do you remember that?" He nodded again, looking fearful. "Shhh, no bud, just relax. You're okay," she assured him. "Mommy is just curious why you told Marley no, but you call me Mommy and Kurt Papa and so on," she said kindly and he heard it. Her voice was calm, there was absolutely no judgement in her voice, she was simply curious.
"I neh-va had a good Mommy. No one nye to me. Dad gone one day. Mom g'ink, a wot!" he explained. "Den Terri, more bad fings, an' den I meet Mar-ree an you an Mama, Aunt Tana an Papa. Mar-ree, um, I no aye it," he told her.
"That's okay bud, can you spell it maybe?" she asked.
"T...R...U..." he said and then he made the sound of an F. F's were easy. S's were not. They took too much work for his tongue and his mouth, while healed, was still pretty sore. "T you," he explained.
"Trusts, yes, Marley does trust us," Quinn smiled.
"Dat mean I can too," he said.
"Well that's good logic, thank you for sharing with me. Let me know when you're done and I will help you clean up and then if you still want it, we'll get the aloe for you," she told him and he nodded. She was about to continue conversation to keep him occupied, but he was opening up and talking a bit more.
"Mommy?" he asked. "Why Mar-ree fi-ah?" he asked.
"Well, Marley likes being a baby girl and most baby girls use pacifiers. Not all of them, but some. But for Marley there is another reason. Terri did some mental damage to her. I don't know the specifics, because Marley hasn't shared yet, but Terri gave her a lot of vinegar and it dried out all the delicate tissue in her mouth. Marley's speech therapist did a lot of research and it was determined that a pacifier would help Marley. if she sucked on it, she would have natural lubrication and help heal her mouth, and it worked."
"Her 'ike baby talk?" he asked.
"She does. Marley likes being our baby girl, but you've heard her be a big girl too right?" Quinn asked kindly and he nodded. "So it's just because she likes it, her mouth is healed and now she only uses a pacifier when she wants to, and I think it's usually for comfort," Quinn said.
"Do I need one?" he asked.
"I don't think you need one for therapy purposes, but if you want one, I will help you get one, and I know that everyone in this house will be okay with that. It is your choice as always buddy, I promise," she told him.
"I fink bow it more," he said honestly. "An Mommy, I done," he told her and she smiled.
"I think it's good that you want to think about it some more, and thank you for telling me. I'll grab some toilet paper. You carefully stand up and I will help clean you up," she told him.
"I he'p?" he asked.
"You can help if you want to. Here. I will give you the toilet paper and you can clean yourself," she said and he nodded. The second he touched himself though, he froze. It all felt so big, and yet he couldn't feel it and it scared him. He felt something in his hands, but he should be feeling it in his genitals too and he couldn't. There was no feeling at all and he couldn't help it. He started to cry. "Shhh, it's okay buddy, you're doing great," Quinn said, but Noah could handle no more. He broke down into open mouth wailing. His body felt gone to him. He felt as though he had no control anymore at all over anything and that emotional feeling, caused him to relive every physical painful feeling Terri had ever created for him. "Okay, okay, shhh, you're okay baby," Quinn said gently. She helped Noah finish cleaning up and he screamed in fear. He was currently like Marley, stuck away in his head and wasn't coming back to her anytime soon. She managed to carefully get his underwear into place and was grateful that they were alone. Very carefully, she half carried him into the other room and sat down on the couch. She held him close to her chest and kissed the top of his head repeatedly. "Shhh, you're okay Noah, Mommy's here, you're safe," she assured him. It was all she could do at the moment.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered.
"Yes baby, Mommy's here," Santana said. They were seated in the rocking chair together and Marley was trying to curl up on Santana's lap. There were times that not only did Santana wish Marley was tinier, but sometimes, Marley wished it too. She wished she could curl up on Santana's lap sometimes and be held, the way her mother used to hold her.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered again and Santana felt her little girl get heavy in her lap.
"I'm still here sweetheart," she said gently and Isabelle watched them carefully. Santana was babying Marley, and it seemed that Marley wanted it. She was calm now, so Dr. Isabelle decided to try again.
"Marley I want you to raise your hand when you hear Dr. Isabelle talking," Dr. Isabelle told her. She didn't know how calm Marley was, and she had to gage carefully. She was convinced that Marley had conversion disorder and she had to get her calm to help her work into the reasoning. The problem was, this wasn't going to be a quick fix. She probably wasn't even going to get an answer today, but maybe, just maybe, Marley would learn something, even if the only thing she learned was Santana wasn't leaving her.
Santana rocked slowly back and forth in the chair with her little girl curling up in her lap. Marley curled into the fetal position and put her head in Santana's lap, and Santana immediately began playing with Marley's hair. "Mama gave you two tiny pig tails today," she smiled, enjoying running her fingers through Marley's silky hair. "They need another name for this huh? You're too adorable and too sweet to have a hair style called pig tails," Santana said and Marley hummed softly.
"Marley, I want you to raise your hand when you can hear me speaking," Dr. Isabelle said kindly for what must have been the millionth time and Marley raised her hand. "Very good Marley, that was excellent listening, thank you for that," Dr. Isabelle said and she glanced at the time and then at Marley. Marley was exhausted. "Marley, do you know your full name?" she asked her kindly.
"Marley Abigail Rose," she said.
"That is a very pretty name and who are you cuddled with now?"
"Mommy," she said softly.
"And what is so great about Mommy?" she asked kindly.
"Tect me," Marley yawned and she curled further into herself and Santana stopped playing with her hair. It was making her sleepy and she knew that sleep was not ideal at the moment. It was time for therapy. After therapy, Marley could sleep for hours as far as Santana was concerned, but right now she had to stay awake.
"Tell me Marley, are you ever afraid of Mommy?" she asked.
"No."
"No? Mommy never scares you, or makes you angry?" she pressed and Santana felt her go tense and she shot daggers at Dr. Isabelle. "You must trust me Santana," she said.
"Where I come from trust is earned. You freaking her out, will not earn my trust," Santana practically growled.
Doctor Isabelle nodded and thought for a moment, rephrasing the question. "Marley, why do you need Mommy so much?" she asked her and Marley looked at her with pure fear.
"No go Mommy," she said and just like that, Marley was done. She was back to her deaf state and the only reason Doctor Isabelle knew this for sure, was because Marley screamed in fear when Santana touched her and started begging for her Mommy to come back to her.
Quinn was sitting with Noah on the couch, holding him close to her. They'd been quiet for an hour now and it was time to start doing more things. He could be scared, Quinn was fine with that, but they had to do. If he didn't do, he would get stuck, and she didn't want him stuck. "Come on buddy, let's do something," she said. "Come on. You and Mommy can play. What should we play? How about legos. Should we play with some legos? See who can build the highest tower?" she asked him.
"Mommy, owie," he said softly.
"Where do you hurt baby?" she asked him.
"Here," he said putting his hand to his cheek.
"Should we try some aloe?" she offered and he nodded yes, and also shook his head no. "You want aloe on somewhere other than your cheek?" she asked him, taking a gamble. He again nodded and also shook his head no. "Okay baby boy, we need more words here, because Mommy is not a mind reader," she said kindly.
"Owie," he said touching his cheek and his crotch.
"You hurt in two places," she said and he nodded. "Well I'm glad you can tell me this. Do you want to try aloe in two places?" she asked him and he nodded, but little tears leaked down his cheeks. "Shhh, it's okay to be sad buddy. It's okay to be scared or afraid, or even angry about what's going on with your body. I will always let you feel what you need to feel and I will not be mad about it. However, I do have one rule. When you feel anger, and you will. You have to let me know, so that you can get your anger out in a safe place, in a safe way, alright?" she asked him and he nodded. "So the choice is yours bud, do you want to put the cream on yourself in both places, or should Mommy do it?" she offered him.
"Mommy do it," he said softly.
"Are you very sure?" she asked him kindly and he nodded his agreement. She smiled and kissed his forehead. "You're a wonderful brave boy Noah and anyone who tells you differently is going to have your family, this family, to deal with," Quinn told him seriously. He gave a soft smile and then Quinn continued. "Here baby, you stay here. I'm going to go get the cream and then I will come back," she told him. She was gone for only a few seconds, but his nerves built exponentially in that time. She took a seat next to him and spoke kindly. "Okay, so you my love, need to know for sure, what is going to happen. The cream will not hurt. It might itch a little later, but that's only because it's healing. I promise you now though, it will not hurt and I will be super gentle when I touch you. "I'm going to show you on the back of your hand first. Do you agree to this?" she asked him. He confidently gave her his hand, but it was trembling as he left it out there and she didn't know if it was pure nerves or a mix of nerves and lack of sleep.
"Okay buddy, let's do this," she said. "I'm going to put some cream on your hand and then I'm just going to let it sit, I want you to know what it feels like," she explained. He nodded and she put on a small bit of cream. "Now, I'm going to have to rub it in slightly so I'm going to show you what that feels like too, but on your hand to start. I will not move on, until I'm sure you understand what is happening," she told him. He nodded and she watched him close his eyes. He was trying to take it all in and feel, since his sight was so damaged.
"Mommy? When I go doctor?" he asked as she rubbed the cream in. He wanted to say surgery, but his mouth was still healing, so certain words were out of use for the moment.
"Well, today is Friday so you'll be going on Monday. And I know that that all next week, you will not be left alone. Most of us will be here with you, to make sure you're healing properly," she told him.
"Can Mar-ree and I 'ook at movie?" he asked.
"Of course. I'm sure Marley would like that. I know she likes being with you," Quinn said as she rubbed all the aloe onto his hand. "Can I move on to your cheek?" she asked him and he nodded cautiously. "I'll go slow buddy, I promise and no pinching, absolutely no pinching. Nothing painful and nothing that will cause you harm," she said. "Here, I have the cream on my finger. Why don't you hold my wrist so you know where my hand is, in relation to your cheek," she told him and he seemed to like that idea. He carefully took her hand. "We will count down from five," she said kindly. "By one, my finger will be on your cheek," she told him and he nodded. "Okay, here we go, hold on tight to me," she said. "Five, four, three, two, one," she said counting slowly and at one, Noah didn't even flinch, he just felt cool cream on his face and he wrinkled his nose. It tickled a little bit. "Are you okay?" Quinn asked him.
"Mmm," he said nodding, "You do Mommy," he told her.
"Okay, I'm going to rub it in," she told him and she very gently and delicately rubbed the aloe into his skin and he sighed. It was nice to have someone touching him kindly. He kind of wished it was Marley, but he loved Quinn too. Everyone in the house did nothing but take good care of him, and he hoped that he could repay the kindness one day.
Once both cheeks weret finished Quinn smiled. "Kisses for my sweet boy," she told him and then leaned in and kissed his forehead. "I'm really proud of you buddy. I can't even begin to imagine how scared you might have been just now," Quinn said validating what she thought were his fears.
"Mommy?" he asked "Here?" he asked pointing to his crotch.
"I can, but it's going to require a little more work, and a little more massage and we should probably go into the bathroom," she said kindly.
"Okay," he agreed and he slipped off the couch and felt around himself. He knew where the couch and coffee table were. "Mommy, wah," he asked.
"The wall is straight in front of you. Do you know where you are?" she asked.
He nodded and counted his crawls down to the bathroom. Once he was in there he waited. "What do I do?" he asked.
Quinn smiled and spoke kindly. "You know how we change Marley? She lays on her back for us. I need you to be like that, and no pants and no underwear," she said.
"What if I get hard?" he asked, blushing at least seven shades of red.
"If you do, you do. It's what might happen, but I know that it's just because of what I'm doing. Bodies respond to touch. They are designed to do that," she explained. "If it freaks you out, you can call me Quinn while we do this," she offered.
"No, Mommy," he said seriously, the blush still heavy on his cheeks, which only made his bruising look worse.
"Alright Noah. If that's what you want, I won't object. I have told you from day one, what you want to call me is okay by me, but it's because you want it, not for any other reason, deal?" she asked.
"Dee," he said and she smiled as he carefully wiggled his way into position. He laid on his back and reached down to his hips. He undid his pants, lifted his hips and wiggled them down his body. Then he hooked his thumbs into his underwear and shimmied that down as well. He didn't even feel it pass over his penis. His poor body had so much swelling and nerve damage that Quinn was afraid he was going to suffer permanent and irreversible damage.
"That's good Noah, you can stop now and just lie still. I will explain everything before it happens okay?" she told him.
"Um, kay," he said.
"You sound unsure buddy. I want you to be sure. Do you have a plan in mind for this?" she asked him.
"I t-air'd get hard," he said honestly.
"It's okay, I won't mind buddy, and you might, I won't lie to you, but I think that today will be okay," she told him. His penis was purple and blue. They weren't supposed to look that way, unless he was recently circumcised or it was hard plastic of some sort and required batteries. Terri had done a number on him. The cane marks, the infection below his belly button, the tic-tac-toe board just above it, and now this. She was a monster as far as Quinn was concerned. "Are you sure you don't want to do it? You can if you like," she offered him, knowing he might have changed his mind by now.
"No, I don't," he said sadly.
"Alright, why don't we try this. You know what Marley does when she needs to focus? Marley sings. Would you like to try singing too?" she asked him. He nodded. He liked the sound of that. "How about we sing the do re mi song, do you know that song?" she asked and he nodded. "Good. We can sing it together and as we sing, I will rub the aloe into your body, to help it heal," she told him and he nodded his agreement. "Before we start, you put my hands on your thighs. You have to get used to me touching you, so we just start here and we'll sing a few lines before I move in further, I promise," she told him.
He reached blindly for her hands, and she gave them to him. He put them on his thighs and began to sing softly. "Do, a deer, a female deer," he sang and Quinn smiled joining in. She left her hands on his thighs until they got to Sol and she moved one hand off to get a large scoop of aloe. Quinn put the backs of her hands on Noah's thighs and waited for him to finish.
"That was beautiful buddy. You have a wonderful singing voice," she told him and he gave a smile. "Okay so now I'm going to rub the aloe into you. Nice and slow. Like a very calm massage, and remember, what happens if you get hard?" she asked him. She knew it was a concern of his, but looking at him, she was very sure, there was no way he was going to be able to feel anything. He shrugged. "Nothing my love. Nothing happens to you, if you get hard. I won't be mad and I won't tease you and I will leave you alone in the bathroom to finish the job or relax yourself, it will be your decision completely, okay?" she asked and he nodded.
They began singing the song again and Quinn very carefully and very delicately began working the cream gently into his balls. He didn't flinch or squirm and just continued to sing. Eventually she worked her hands to the shaft and stopped when he finished song for the second time. "Mommy?" he asked. "You do?" he questioned. He hadn't felt a thing and he thought she was just waiting for him to say he was truly comfortable.
"I'm nearly finished baby, yes," Quinn said kindly.
"I no fee' it," he said.
"That's alright baby. You might not. Because Terri was so mean to you, you may not feel it until you're much more healed," Quinn reasoned. She didn't want to tell him, she thought there was permanent damage that he would never recover from. "You can sing more if you like, I'm just going to finish up," she told him and he nodded.
"I okay," he said and yawned heavily as she worked the aloe cream into his shaft. Once it was done, she sat back and smiled.
"It's all done Noah. I'm going to stand up and wash my hands. Lay still on the floor and rest for me okay?" she said kindly. He nodded and turned his head to the side, feeling sleep start to take over his body when there was a jingle at the front door, indicating someone was home. "Stay still buddy, I'll be right back," she said kindly and she left him lying on the bathroom rug while she went to the door. Santana walked in with Marley and Marley was crying softly.
"Alright baby girl, come on. Time for a nap okay?" she asked.
"No, I see Noah," she whined.
"Noah's in the bathroom honey. He's just about to take a nap himself," Quinn said.
"Mommy," Marley whined, her tears coming quickly. Between therapy, her natural interrupted sleep pattern, and the exhaustion from going through her day today, she was over tired and now she was weeping.
"I know baby, I know, it's been a long day," Santana told her kindly. "Come on. What if you and Noah take a rest together okay?" she offered and looked to Quinn.
"Yeah, but I'll need help getting him out of the bathroom," Quinn said honestly.
Santana nodded and helped Marley to the couch. "Stay still baby girl, I will help Auntie Quinn get Noah and then the two of you can nap together," Santana said and Marley nodded her agreement, but continued to weep. Santana gave her a kiss and then moved toward the bathroom where she found Quinn helping Noah to sit up and he leaned forward and held on to Quinn.
"A little help please," Quinn said looking at Santana.
Santana nodded and got behind Noah and carefully lifted him up and they very gently shuffled him into the living room. Santana saw a look on Quinn's face and she didn't like it. Something was off. So she got the kids settled on the couch and covered them with a light blanket.
"You okay Mar-ree?" Noah asked tiredly and she nodded tearfully. "We night night," Noah told her. "Better af-tah," he said kindly and he tiredly wrapped himself around her, so she was cuddled tightly against him. They were both asleep in seconds. Santana then walked over to Quinn and sat next to her.
"What happened?" she asked her.
"He's," Quinn started, but the tears came quickly and she fell into the table. Santana picked her up and held her.
"We're going to be okay Quinn. I will help you figure this out, whatever the problem is," Santana said kindly.