Hello everyone,
I hope you are all well.
Warnings for this chapter: Descriptions of Noah's bruises. Read with caution.
As always - thanks to to NayaFan, UnholyUnderBoob, & Beaner008 for their inspiration and encouragement. Also, many thanks to my followers, reviewers, and the people who send me lovely PM's and reminded me how much they like this story and why I continue to write it.
I'd also like to say that all reviews, be it with leaving your name, or leaving one as a guest, are all welcome.
Be well friends
Kurt came home around eleven that night. Both Noah and Marley were asleep in Santana's bed, curled up together and looking pretty angelic in Quinn's opinion. She turned around from the bedroom door and shushed him when she heard him enter. Getting them to even get to sleep had been a disaster of rather epic proportions and she didn't want him waking them.
"Why are you glowing?" she asked him softly, closing Santana's door as quietly as she could.
"Because I have great news, where's everyone else?"
"Santana ran down for a last minute errand once the kids went to sleep, which was not easy, and Rachel is in her room, going over a script, that she doesn't understand or doesn't like. She was ranting, I didn't fully understand," Quinn explained.
"Well then I have to wait for Santana," he said and went to the fridge to get dinner.
"Left overs are on the stove. I made lasagna," Quinn said.
"Oooh, thanks for dinner then. So, how are the kids?" he asked her and Quinn dropped into a chair across from him and put her head down on her arms, sighing heavily. "That good huh?" he asked.
"I love them. I love them so much, I don't know what I would do with myself if they decided to "grow up" and leave us, but the work load, is crazy and because they are both so traumatized, I find it difficult to punish them," Quinn said honestly.
"At least you talk about it. Santana bottles it all up, doesn't know what to do with herself, and then has these breakdowns, that she doesn't let anyone help her with, so thank you for opening up," Kurt said.
"I know Santana does time out, but that didn't work today. She'd leave Noah in there for five minutes, go to call him out and he was fresh all over again," Quinn said.
"Noah!" Kurt asked in surprise.
"Yes, Noah, he was very protective of Marley today and because she had her usual tantrums, he got very protective and didn't want us anywhere near her," Quinn explained.
"He loves her," Kurt smiled.
"And I'm glad that he does, but when the Mommy says stop, you stop, or you pay the consequences," Quinn said.
"How long was he in time out for?"
"I think he totaled an hour, he was so angry and so frustrated, and Marley was upset too, but for her she felt guilt. She would crawl to the corner and sit with him, just so he wasn't alone and we'd have to drag her out and remind her, she was not the one who misbehaved. It has been a vicious circle all afternoon," Quinn said.
"Did anyone take a nap?"
"Marley did, and then Noah went and woke her up, when he got angry and frustrated and threw the blocks at the bedroom door. Sometimes I think they are really toddlers trapped in a bigger, more grown up body," Quinn said.
"Hey," Kurt said taking her hand. "You and Santana are doing everything and anything you can to help them. You are absolutely doing right by them, so don't beat yourself up over it okay? They just had a bad day, the pair of them." Kurt reminded her.
"I just don't know if every day can be like this. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it, if it is," she said honestly.
"Which is why you have Santana, and Rachel, and me, and I have very good news to share with everyone, so as soon as Santana comes home, maybe your day will bright up a little bit," he said.
"Even though it's eleven pm?" she smirked.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said and he continued to eat his dinner.
Twenty minutes later, Santana came home to find her room mates sitting at the table, all looking very somber. "Did I miss something terrible?" she asked cautiously moving over and sitting herself in Quinn's lap. Quinn simply wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and waited for Kurt to make his announcement.
"No, you're just looking at very tired people," Kurt said. "However, I have fantastic news, so you're all going to go from tired to excited," he said.
"Oh my God, just say it already," Quinn said.
"Guess who booked four national voice over commercials with Chanel Number five," he said.
"Holy crap, are you serious?" Rachel asked, almost squealing.
"Do not wake those kids," Santana said leaning over and swatting at her.
"Congratulations Kurt," Quinn said.
"No, you don't get it. Each one, for me, take home is a little over six thousand dollars, plus residuals when it gets picked up by the varying markets," Kurt said and both Quinn and Santana looked at him with confusion, only Rachel seemed to know what was going on because she was bursting with joy at this point.
"I'm making more than you two combined," he said rolling his eyes a bit. "If we pool our money, as soon as I'm done recording, we can actually put a down payment on a house, and maybe get some more room," he said.
"Whoa, really?" Santana asked, finally putting it all together.
"Yeah, a nice little house, with enough rooms for all of us, just outside the city and we can all keep our jobs and not be on top of each other," he said.
"I like this," Santana smiled.
"That's two, what about you Quinn, ready to make it an uneven three?" he asked her smiling.
"Sure, why not," Quinn smiled hugging Santana closely. "And now we have to figure out how to break it to our little ones," Quinn said.
"What do you mean?" Santana asked curiously.
"Our little ones. Your little girl and my little boy, sometimes, who don't deal well with change. The ones who freak out when they are pushed anywhere outside of their comfort zone," she said.
"Yes, you have a point, you are right, but we're not moving tomorrow," Kurt said kindly. "I think we should all think about it, and start floating the idea to them. We can go look at houses, just the four of us, and then when we all find a house we agree with, that's when we say we want to show it to them," Kurt said.
"No, wait, hold it. I want to see a contract for you first!" Rachel said. "I've heard of too many scams, so before we all get too excited, let's get it in writing," she said.
"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I agree with Berry," Santana said.
"Must be serious, I'm back to Berry," Rachel smirked.
The next morning, Quinn and Santana woke up early and had a little breakfast date at the kitchen table. Santana made them coffee and Quinn made a bagel with cream cheese. She only made one, because she thought it would be much more romantic if they shared it. Santana poured two coffee cups, fixed them how both girls liked them and then sat down at the table. Quinn took a seat across from her and smiled. She picked up the bagel and carefully held it up to Santana. "Wanna play?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Santana folded her hands on the table and smiled. She lowered her eyes and tucked her chin, before lifting simply her eyes, telling Quinn that she was fully willing to submit to her partner in crime. "Tongue out," Quinn ordered and Santana obeyed the command, poking her tongue out, just a touch, and Quinn smiled. "Very good my love," she said and she ran the edge of the bagel over her tongue, letting her lick some of the cream cheese off. "Tongue stays out, do not lick, do not swallow," Quinn ordered her. She quickly took a bite of the bagel, the portion Santana had licked and put it on her tongue. "Stay," Quinn said and she leaned in and gave Santana a hungry kiss. The bagel and cream cheese mixed and they each managed to get a bit of both. The kiss finally broke and Santana waited for further instruction. Quinn stood up and moved over to Santana's lap. "I love you," she told her seriously. She looked deep into her eyes and made sure that when Santana searched hers, she saw nothing but honesty. It was a risk for sure, but it was so pure and so real, that Quinn couldn't pass the moment.
Santana smiled after a moment, pulled Quinn's face a bit closer and kissed her passionately. "I love you too," Santana said honestly. The two of them were sharing short, sweet, passionate, kisses and nuzzled each other for a few moments, before they heard Noah crying in the bedroom. "You're up Mommy," Santana teased.
"As much as I love you, and I do love you, sometimes, you are a total bitch," Quinn said.
"It's why you love me. Go check on him," Santana said kindly.
Quinn gave her a quick kiss and then went to the bedroom. She stood in the doorway and watched for a moment. He was trying to be quiet, but it hadn't quite worked. "Noah buddy," she said softy. "Noah, do you need help?" she called to him, and he cried even harder. Quinn moved further into the room and went over to where he was, curled up on the floor, possibly in pain, and crying softly. "What's wrong my sweet boy," she asked him with concern.
"I," he started and then he shook his head. He couldn't tell her. She'd think he was stupid and being a baby.
"Shhh, Noah, it's okay buddy, can I give you a hug?" she asked him. He shivered and shook his head no. He couldn't accept it. He would be mocked, he was sure of it. He was seventeen and curled up in a corner crying. "Okay, okay, I'll stay here then," she said kindly. "Let's do what we do best buddy. Let's try to figure this out together," she offered and after a very long silence he agreed. "Tell me love, do you know why you're over here?" she asked. He nodded and she gave him a kind smile. "That's a good start then buddy. I'm very glad to hear that. Let me take a guess. Did you have a bad dream or memory?" she asked. He shook his head no. He'd actually had a very good dream. A dream about him and Marley. At least that was how it started out.
He walked into the house and set his coat and shoes in the closet and walked into a house he didn't recognize, but he knew he felt safe there. He heard Marley singing in the kitchen and called to her. "Mar! I'm home!" he called.
"In here love," she sing songed back to him, and his heart melted at the sound of her voice. It was just so loving and so gentle, and he knew that she felt the same way about him as he did about her. He looked down at his hand and realized that his wedding ring proved it. He walked into the kitchen and screamed in horror.
Instead of finding Marley, he found Terri. She was standing over Marley's body, and blood had pooled beneath her body. "NO!" he screamed and rushed to her. He begged her to be okay. He begged her to come back to him and promised her how much he loved her.
"It doesn't matter what you tell her slut. She doesn't love you. She can't. No one can, and do you know why? Because I took this," she said and she held up his penis. It looked a bit funny, but then he felt a pain in his groin and when he looked down, he saw blood coming out of his body and Terri was simply standing there laughing, singing that terrible, horrific song, that Santana had said she never wanted to hear again.
Quinn watched him carefully and spoke kindly. "Did you have a dream about people you know?" she asked him and he nodded slowly. "Okay. Did you dream that people were hurt maybe?" she asked noticing he was still breathing a bit rapidly and looked even more pale than he did the day before.
"Mommy," he said softly. "Hug now?" he asked softly.
"Yes baby boy, come here," Quinn said and she helped him into her lap and held him close, rocking slowly from side to side. "I am so sorry that you had such a frightening dream my love," she told him. "But you're safe now. In your house, with your family. Shall we go check on everyone so you can be sure that I'm telling the truth?" he asked.
"You rye?" he asked her softly.
"No, I'm not lying, but I know that sometimes, taking for someone at their word can require a lot of trust and sometimes, you just don't trust people. You want to and you mean to, but for some reason, sometimes, you just don't. I want to give you the option," she explained. "It's okay too," she assured him. He snuggled in closer to her and shook his head no. He trusted her. The dream had nothing to do with her. She was a safe person. Rachel and Kurt were safe too. Santana was simply protective. He even saw her yelling at Terri from behind some big glass block in his dream he remembered.
"Mommy, Aunt Tana?" he asked.
"You want to go see her?" Quinn asked and he nodded. "Okay, we can go see her. She's awake and at the kitchen table. Would you like to go together, or shall I let you crawl on your own?"
"Guide pee," he said.
"Alright, stand up for me then and we'll go together," she told him. He carefully moved up to his feet and then Quinn guided him into the kitchen.
"Well good morning," Santana smiled at him. Noah walked over to her and carefully reached for her hand. She gave it to him and he held on tightly. He put his other hand on the table, turned and sat down on her lap. "Oooh, I get cuddles instead of Quinn? What happened did you two have a fight?" she teased.
He smiled sadly, and shook his head no. "I ju't need to know you ree," he said.
"I am very real," she promised him and squeezed him a little bit tighter to her body. "I know this tension though. Do you want to talk about your dream? Or are you not ready yet?" she asked kindly.
"Me an' Mar-ree, not here, um-where, Mar-ree dead, Terri did it. T'en Terri he'd up my," he said and he stopped, blushing furiously and his entire body went stiff, because the thing he wanted to tell them about was embarrassing for him and he really didn't feel it, which was concerning for him.
Both women waited and when he didn't finish, Santana spoke kindly. "You know what Noah? You never have to tell us anything that you're not ready to share yet. If you don't want to finish that sentence, you don't have to and we won't force you. I will tell you though, that sometimes, it's okay to talk about things, because if you talk it out, you're more prepared for when you either have the scary dream again, like Marley does, or you have to face any scary thing in reality," she told her.
Noah considered this for a moment and then spoke. "Mommy," he called, not seeing her at all.
"I'm still here bud, I haven't left," she said kindly from her seat across from Santana
"Ur-ree today," he said pointing to his eye.
"No baby, pre-surgery today," Quinn smiled. "Remember when we went to the doctor and they said they need to make sure you are totally healthy and they need to give you a game plan," Quinn said. "Once we have that and you get your all clear, then on Monday you will have your surgery. It's only a few more days of being guided.
"Gahguh," he said.
"Goggles?" she asked and he nodded. "Close. Glasses," Quinn smiled. "And yes, you are going to have to wear special glasses for a while, but only for a few days. After that, you'll be good as new and we'll only have to go back one more time to make sure that the infections on your stomach are healing properly.
"Aa-roe," he said.
"We can put more aloe onto you, that's fine," Quinn smiled. "We can do it now, or after breakfast if you like," she said.
"Eat pee," he said.
"You sit with Santana then and I'll fix you breakfast. What would you like?" she asked him.
"What my op-tin?" he asked.
"Your op-tins," Quinn smiled giving him a kiss to his cheek. "are bagels and cream cheese, bagels and butter, cereal, pancakes, or waffles," Quinn said.
"Bay-guh and keem tee pee," he smiled.
"I love you," Santana told him and she gave him a kiss. "Do you know why?" she asked and he shook his head no. "I love you because you are brave and strong and you just make me very proud," she told him.
"Vuv you too Tana," he smiled snuggling into her. He said it, because it felt right, but it also felt like he was saying it to a real relative. He imagined that if he'd had a more normal family like his friends, that when he was little they'd go to family gatherings and older aunts and uncles would pull him close and tell him, that they loved him. Santana was doing that for him now and he liked it. It felt nice. So he returned the sentiment, in hopes that it would feel nice for her to hear those same words.
Quinn got Noah a bagel with cream cheese and set it in front of him, and he carefully stood up, moving out of Santana's lap and into his own chair, so he could eat. As he was eating, they heard a noise from behind them and them and Satnana stood up. "I'm just going to check on Marley," she said kindly and gave Noah a kiss to the top of his head before she went into the bedroom.
Marley was sitting up in bed, thinking apparently, and being very quiet, only moving slightly for a moment. Santana scratched on the doorframe lightly to gain her attention. Marley shook her head no, squeezed her eyes shut and sat very still. She was going to do this. She could absolutely do this, but she had to control it. "Marley baby," Santana said softly and Marley shook her head no again. She had to focus. She had to prove it, and she was going to do that right in this moment, but she needed to focus as hard as she could in order to do it.
Finally Marley finished her focus and turned to Santana. "Mommy. I pee when I said," she told her and Santana smiled and gave her a curious look before moving to sit on the bed with her.
"Explain that again please," Santana told her kindly.
"I had to pee. I waited till I said it was okay," she said and Santana still didn't quite understand, which Marley seemed to pick up. "You know I go potty now an I take a very long time?" she asked and Santana nodded. "Now I won't. Now I sit down and I tell myself to go and I do," she said proudly and it was the first time Santana had seen her baby girl be proud of herself.
"Yay Marley!" she cheered and Marley's smile widened. "I'm very proud of you," Santana told her. "But maybe now that you did, we change you," Santana suggested.
"Oh yeah, okay," she said and she laid down, prepared to let Santana do whatever was needed. Santana changed her and sure enough the seat of Marley's diaper was a neon yellow color, and Santana cleaned her up, used an extra wipe for her own hands, and then pulled a freshly diapered Marley into her lap and covered her in kisses. "I am so proud of you baby girl," she told her and she covered her temple and cheek in kisses. "You are getting so much better, so quickly, pretty soon, I won't know what to do with myself," Santana said.
"I going away?" Marley asked.
"No baby girl, only if you want to leave me. Otherwise, you can stay with me forever," Santana smiled.
"What 'bout Auntie Quinn. Her care?" she asked.
"I don't think so. She loves you and she loves Noah a great deal, and I'm not getting rid of you. If you were to leave, it would be by your decision and no one else's. Does that makes sense?" she asked and Marley nodded. She liked that she got to choose that. It was a huge process for her to trust anyone or any situation and now she was being told that she could stay with them forever. It was a very nice, very loving, very honest gesture.
"Mommy, can we cuddle for a little bit? Just us right now?" she asked.
"Of course baby girl," Santana said and she laid down on the bed and pulled Marley closer to her, the pair of them face to face and forehead to forehead.
"Mommy, I been thinkin," she said softly.
"Yeah? What are you thinking about?"
Marley laid quietly for a moment and noticed the button on Santana's tank and began playing with it for a moment. "I um," she said softly. "I like bein' you baby girl," she said.
"Well that's good, because I like being your Mommy," Santana smiled.
Marley smiled and cuddled into her Mommy, still playing with that button and Santana let her be. "I was finkin' other stuff too Mommy," she said.
"Do you want to share or not yet?" Santana asked her.
"How you know if you love someone?" she asked and Santana stayed quiet. The question had stunned her and she wasn't sure what she should say.
"Well I know that I love you," Santana said kindly.
"No, I mean like how you know you love Auntie Quinn," she said.
"Ah, romantic love," Santana smiled. "Do you think that you love someone like that maybe?" she asked and Marley nodded. "Well, here's what I know for me, but everyone is different. I also know that Mama had a very strong love and so she knows what it feels like too. If you feel like you want to, then I think you should ask her okay?" she bargained and Marley nodded. "When I look at Auntie Quinn, I feel two things immediately. Part of me feels like I can't breathe at all and the other part of me feels as if I look away from her, I'll die," she said.
"Does you feel futter-bys?" she asked softly.
"All over, yes," Santana told her.
"Is it bad to feel it?" Marley asked, continually playing with the button. Santana was waiting for her to pull the button off by twisting the threads so much, but she lived with Kurt, it could absolutely be sewn back on.
"No my baby girl. Feeling those things, is a good thing, and if you're very lucky, then whomever you feel those feelings for, they will feel them too and reciprocate them, and you'll build a very special relationship," Santana explained.
"Thank you Mommy," Marley said and she snuggled further into Santana. Cuddle time was nice and she wasn't ready to get up yet. She let out a long yawn and started to drift back to sleep.
Quinn poked her head into the bedroom ten minutes later and smiled. "Hey," she whispered. "Noah and I are going to use the bathroom to get ready for his appointment, are you good or do you need it?" she asked.
"No, I'm good," Santana smiled.
Noah stepped carefully out of the tub and held on to Quinn. She wrapped him in a towel and carefully rubbed him dry. She didn't like the infection on his stomach, or the tick tack toe sign that had been burned into him. Her heart broke for the boy before her, whom she was learning to love more than she ever thought possible.
"Kin?" he asked.
"Yeah bud?"
"What gonna happen today?" he asked.
"Today we're going to go for your pre-op appointment. All it means is they are going to give you a very quick exam to make sure you have no infections and that you're healing and you'll be good to go on Monday for your surgery," she explained and once he was dry, she left him wrapped in the towel. Do you want to try some aloe or do you want to wait?" she offered.
"No, it okay. I have pee," he said.
"Alright, shall we do it together, like the last time?" she asked him and he nodded. "Okay, we can do that. Sit down for me first. We'll do your cheeks and your belly, and then we can move lower if you want," Quinn said.
"Where Mar-ree?" he asked.
"Marley went back to bed. She woke up and then Santana went to check on her, and then when I peaked in on both of them, Marley was sleeping again. She looked pretty tired though. It's been a long and difficult few days for both of you so I guess that makes sense that she's sleeping. If you ever want to take a nap at some point during the day, any day, please let me know, okay?" she asked him and he nodded.
"Kin, can you put awoe on me?" he asked softly, blushing a little bit.
"Of course," she smiled. "Here take my hand," she said giving it to him. "I have it on my finger you bring my hand to your cheek and I will gently rub it in," she said and he nodded. As he moved her hand to his face, he slowly counted softly backward from five. When he reached one, her finger was on his cheek and she very carefully rubbed it in.
"Where now Kin?" he asked her softly.
"Where ever you would like it buddy," she told him kindly.
"Mommy, when I fee' my um, fing, again?" he asked her sadly. It bothered her slightly that he seemed to be switching back and forth, but it was also not so terrible, because it meant he trusted her a great deal.
"We can ask the doctor my sweet boy, because that is something I don't know the answer to, and I don't want to give you false information okay? Mommy believes in having as many answers as possible before she gives you any extra information," Quinn told him kindly.
He nodded and sort of fell into her. He was tired and nervous and having her hold him, that felt good, but he didn't know how to ask for it, so he simply just went for it. "Noah my dear, I love you very much," Quinn told him and she wrapped her arms around him and cuddled him tightly. She could feel all the tension and decided to run through the game plan of the day, one more time, in hopes that it would calm in his nerves. Once she finished her game plan, he finally spoke.
"Duh Mar-ree need docta?" he asked.
"Marley sees a therapist yes. She she's Doctor Isabelle to help her work on her mental troubles," Quinn said.
"Mar-ree no tubba," he protested.
"Shhh, calm please. No Marley is not trouble. We love Marley very much, we all do, but Marley has trouble inside her brain and talking to Doctor Isabelle will help her work those troubles out."
"It make Mar-ree kye, Mar-ree no go," he pouted.
"Yes, it does make Marley cry, but it's because she remembers and she doesn't like what she remembers. Marley is scared and she needs to work through that fear, that's all it is baby, I promise," Quinn said.
"I go too," he said stubbornly and what Quinn saw was a little boy, or little brother, possibly a big brother, sticking up for his sister. There was also the possibility that he had more amorous feelings for her, but wasn't ready to share that yet. All he knew was that he didn't want Marley sad or in pain, ever, and he made sure to communicate that to Quinn.
"We will ask," Quinn assured him. "Several people have to agree though. First is Marley, and second is Doctor Isabelle. Right now however, we need to get you ready so you can go to your pre-op appointment," Quinn explained as calmly as she could, but she could see a storm brewing. Noah was getting ready to have his first 'tantrum' and Quinn wasn't entirely sure she was prepared for it.
Marley sat in the nursery with Santana. They were seated in the rocking chair, reading a story together. Santana was reading the story, while Marley pointed to the words and eventually, Marley looked up and spoke softly. "Mommy, I don't want to be here. I want to go home. I was good and I don't want you to leave me," she said, tears coming immediately.
Santana leaned in and kissed her forehead, giving herself a moment to collect her words. She had to choose all her words very carefully, in order to keep her little girl calm. Marley may be using a completely grown up vocabulary, but she was definitely trying to stay in her little girl world, it was written all over her face. "Marley. Listen to Mommy baby, just listen," she said kindly and she laced their fingers together. "You are now and forever, my baby girl. You could leave me," Santana started.
"No!" Marley panicked.
"Shhh, no, listen baby girl. You could. You could decide you want to move to Alaska and work with polar bears, or you could go to Texas and study law to become a judge, or you could stay with me, and we can find you something to do here in New York, but even if you did move to work with polar bears or study law, I'd still check in on you. I'd be that annoying Mommy who calls her baby every day to make sure she ate, and is taking care of herself and is doing okay. I would also assure her that she could always come home, she could always come stay with Mommy, she always has a Mommy," Santana told her.
"I not leaving Mommy. Not ever. Too scary," she said sadly.
They were still curled up in the chair when Dr. Isabelle came in and Santana forced herself to remain calm. She didn't like the things that Isabelle did, but she tried to remain hopeful that they were all to help Marley. It was just very difficult to focus on that, when her baby girl was freaking out so badly. "Hello ladies, it's nice to see you again," she said.
"Hi Dr. Isabelle," Santana said, hoping to set a good example for Marley. Rachel's words were in her head. They'd had a brief chat early in the morning and Rachel's only offering of the entire conversation was to lead by good example for Marley. Santana wanted to say other things to Dr. Isabelle, but that wouldn't accomplish a great deal and would probably get her in hot water with her boss, so she simply said hello.
"It's nice to see you both again today," she said and she moved over to the toy chest and fished out the speak and spell. "Marley, I was talking to Nanny Susan yesterday after you left, and she said that you like this toy, so I thought maybe we could play with this together, is that okay?" she asked. Marley nodded but pressed her body so tightly into Santana, that Santana had to readjust herself, so her hips were not being forced into the wooden rails that were holding up the arms of the rocking chair. "You told me yesterday that your name is Marley Abigail Rose right?" she asked and Marley nodded and continued to stay pressed into Santana. "That is a beautiful name. Do you know your Mommy's name?" she asked. Marley nodded, but didn't say anything. "Would you care to share," Dr. Isabelle smiled handing Marley the toy. M-I-L-L-I-E-A-N-D-S-A-N-T-A-N-A, she spelled and she handed the toy back to Isabelle and snuggled into Santana.
"Thank you Marley, and who is Millie?" she asked.
"No!" Marley snapped.
"Marley," Santana warned her and Marley looked at her with pleading eyes. "No, don't even try. I know you don't want to be here and I know you are scared, but you don't get to be rude to Dr. Isabelle. Apologize for snapping," she said and Marley frowned and shook her head. "The rules haven't changed my love, you can apologize now and then we can continue together nicely, or you can sit in time out for being rude, apologize when it's over, and then we can continue. Your choice," Santana said.
Marley pouted and gave Santana a pleading look, but Santana stayed strong and eventually Marley turned her face to Isabelle and issued a proper apology.
"I'm sorry I snapped," she said.
"Thank you Marley," Isabelle said kindly. "I'm going to ask again though. Who is Millie?" she asked and Marley shook her head no. She wasn't going to snap, but she wasn't going to answer this question either and now she was pressing her body into Santana, trying to hide behind her. "Okay Marley, let's try this. who is Santana?" she asked and Marley picked up Santana's hand. She ducked her head and decided that was enough. She wasn't going to look at this woman who was causing her all this stress, she was going to hide behind her Mommy.
"Fi-ah," she said softly and she continued to say it until Santana finally heard her and spoke gently.
"Marley baby," she said softly and Marley lifted her head, still speaking softly.
"Fi-ah Mommy," she pleaded. "Fi-ah, fi-ah, fi-ah, fi-ah, fi-ah," she repeated and Santana carefully pet the side of her face.
"Shhh, I can get it sweetheart, but I have to get up to do so. Are you okay to sit here on your own for a moment?" she asked and Marley shook her head. There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell, she was letting Santana leave her side with Dr. Isabelle there. "Shhh, okay, okay," Santana soothed. "Then we will talk to Dr. Isabelle and when therapy is over, we can get your pacifier okay?" she asked and Marley blinked back tears. "I'm right here baby girl, I'm not going anywhere I promise," Santana assured her and Marley didn't seem sure of this answer, so she carefully crawled her way into Santana's lap. She cuddled up close and rested against Santana with her back to Dr. Isabelle. She wasn't having therapy today if she could managed to control it. What she didn't know was that Dr. Isabelle was willing to talk to her, no matter what position she was in.
Santana kept her close and rubbed her back and Dr. Isabelle smiled. "Okay Marley, you can stay cuddled with Santana, but I have a few questions for you. Can you show me what a fi-ah is?" she asked and Marley started to cry; convinced that Dr. Isabelle was making fun of her.
"Mommy," Marley cried and she grabbed tighter to Santana, pleading to just be with her and she wanted Dr. Isabelle to go away. "I guh Mommy, I day," she panted, already getting ready to have a panic attack.
"Shhh, yes baby. You stay. You stay with Mommy and you are a very good girl," Santana assured her and Dr. Isabelle spoke up.
"Why do you think you have to leave Marley?" she asked her gently and Marley lost her mind. She started screaming and panicking. They were going to take her away from Santana. She put on the tightest grip she could on Santana and started shaking slightly, digging her fingers into Santana's body and with the warmer weather and shorted clothes, she was starting to get scratched.
"Ow, Marley," Santana scolded gently. She knew Marley was doing this out of fear, so she didn't want to yell too much. "Please wait, I'm going to sit her in my lap," Santana requested firmly and Isabelle nodded. This was one of those moments when Santana wished her baby girl was still little. If she sat Marley in her lap, she couldn't wrap her body around her in order to hide from Isabelle. If Santana sat behind her and used her arms and legs to wrap herself around Marley it would work out much better and Marley would melt slightly into it, curling up to be smaller herself. Santana took a good grip on Marley's body and carefully slipped both of them down to the floor. She spread her legs, turned her around and held Marley's back tight to her chest, wrapped her left arm under Marely's armpit and across her chest, having her hand rest on Marley's shoulder, while the right arm snuck around her waist and would gently squeeze and release. Santana's legs then came up and over Marley's legs, keeping her locked in place. Santana and Marley were now almost the same height, with Marley being a little shorter, so Santana dropped her chin a bit and began humming in her ear, over and over again, waiting for Marley to respond.
It took only a matter of minutes, before Marley began to squirm carefully in the tight grip, put her head on Santana's shoulder and held on, crying for reasons that only she would understand. "I know you think I'm the enemy Santana, but I'm not. I want to help her, but in order to do that, I have to ask my questions," Dr. Isabelle explained.
"I know that. I do," Santana assured her. "But your questions that make her react like this, make me doubt that this is a good idea. I look at her as my child and my job is to protect her however I can. When someone, anyone I know, makes her slip into this state, it takes me a great deal of time to trust them myself," Santana explained.
I would like to remind everyone that I welcome all feedback, whether you want to leave your name or you want to review as a guest. Either is fine with me. Also, only 2 - 4 more chapters left.
Be well friends