Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

Way The Wind Blows

Chapter Four

"You really didn't have to eat it all," Kathryn said as Chakotay wiped his mouth on a napkin after eating what was left of his dinner. "It's just not the same cold."

"No need to waste it," Chakotay replied. "Cold or hot, it's still nourishment."

"True, but there's no reason why nourishment can't be tasty." She got to her feet. "But hopefully the lemon meringue pie will treat your taste buds. It's homemade, not replicated. I got it when I visited the village yesterday. "

"Sounds good."

Kathryn got up and went over to a tall, but slim, silver fridge freezer that was in a corner of the kitchenette.

"There's about half left, so there's a good slice for both of us."

As she opened the door to get the pie, Chakotay poured himself a glass of water.

"Damn," Kathryn said. "I must have put the pie in the freezer instead of the fridge."

Chakotay looked up and saw her open the freezer section. She reached inside and pulled out a lemon meringue pie that was covered in ice.

"It's frozen solid," she said, putting it down and poking it with her finger. "I could try to thaw it, but I would probably get the wrong setting and it would..." She stopped talking when she realized Chakotay was laughing, and turned to him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't help it..."

His laugh was infectious and Kathryn found herself laughing too. "I suppose it is funny. And I guess you got your answer. First burnt, then cold, then frozen...Some might say it was decreed."

Chakotay got to his feet. "How about I replicate us a large bowl of coffee ice-cream with fudge pieces and toffee sauce? We could share it over a game of Connect Four...or Connect Five if you're up to it. Best of seven gets a box of chocolates." He knew it wasn't the most challenging game he could have suggested, but he was still suffering from the effects of post-transportation-trauma, and didn't want to play something he would have trouble concentrating on.

Kathryn's eyes lit up. "Oh yes. You're on...that would be great."

Chakotay smiled, her joy warming his heart. There was too much sadness in her eyes. "We can sit on the rug by the fire, less formal, more comfortable."

"Good idea. I'll activate the fire and put some cushions on the floor while you replicate everything."

She smiled warmly, closed the fridge-freezer door, and then went into the living area, starting immediately at her task. Chakotay watched her fondly a moment, and then went over to the replicator.

"I win again," Kathryn beamed, proudly looking at her diagonal line of five glowing blue diamonds. "I only need to win one more game and I've won." She looked up at Chakotay with a smile. "But don't worry, I'll gladly share my prize with you."

"Very considerate of you," he smiled in return. "But don't count..." He stopped talking as a sudden pain knifed his head and he raised his hand to his brow.

Kathryn looked at him in concern. "The pain back?"

"Yes," he replied. "But it's not as bad as before." He withdrew his hand. "It's easing now."

"Probably the painkiller is wearing off," Kathryn guessed, "but I'd better exam you, just to make sure." She got up and went to get the med-kit she had used to treat him earlier. As she did so, it started to rain outside and Chakotay looked up at the window. It had been a long time since he'd seen rain.

"It's raining," he said as Kathryn returned with the med-kit.

"Rains a lot here," she replied, kneeling beside him and opening the med-case, "but I've been lucky the past week. It's been sunny mostly during the day." She pulled out a medical tricorder and began scanning him.

"You said you're taking a break from Starfleet," Chakotay said. "How long do you intend to stay here?"

"I don't know," Kathryn replied. "A few weeks maybe." She analyzed the tricorder's readings. "As I thought, the painkiller is wearing off. There's no cellular degradation. The treatment I gave you appears to have worked." She put down the tricorder and picked up a hypospray. "I'll give you another dose."

Chakotay moved his head to the side, and Kathryn put the hypospray to his neck.

"You should be better tomorrow," Kathryn said, drawing away, "sleep will help your body regenerate. But you might wake up with a slight headache. I'll give you the hypospray so you can give yourself another shot of painkiller if you need it."

"Thank you," Chakotay replied.

Kathryn handed him the hypospray and then closed the med-kit, continuing to talk as she did so.

"It's probably best that we don't continue our game. It's not a fair challenge when you're not well, and the concentration isn't good for you. We can finish tomorrow." She paused. "If you're still around that is..."

For the first time since he had got here, Chakotay sincerely hoped that he would be. As much as he wanted to get back to his own timeframe, he was enjoying this younger Kathryn's company, and he didn't want to leave her just yet. And, he felt that she needed him to be here, needed someone around who cared. She was alone in this place, except for Petunia, and loneliness and pain was a fatal combination. He felt sure that Kathryn had deliberately sent him here, and perhaps she had sent him because him being here had somehow made a difference.

Having shut the med-kit, Kathryn looked up at him. "You say your people might transport you out of here... How is that going to happen exactly? Are they going to tell you first? I mean, you could be in the shower or anything."

"I never thought of that," Chakotay smiled. "A very good question. I'd hate to appear naked in the transporter room."

Kathryn laughed softly. "Maybe they will give you a warning or transport you to your quarters or something. I mean, they can't lose you for all this time and not except you to need the bathroom."

Now Chakotay laughed. "The scenario gets worse." His laughter faded as he sobered. "But I'm sure my people will have thought of that." If this younger Kathryn had thought of it, then the older Kathryn would have too.

"How long will you wait for them to rescue you before you try to find your own way back?"

"I don't know," he replied. "At the moment, I'm not thinking too much about that."

Kathryn reached for the empty bowl of ice-cream on the floor and picked it up. Unable to resist, she wiped her finger around the remains in the bowl, and put it to her mouth.

"An even worse scenario for anyone," she said, working her finger around the bowl again, "would be to find themselves transported while they were... you know...making out... I think I would die of embarrassment."

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "That would be embarrassing."

"Justin and I almost got caught in that kind of situation once," she continued. "We were stuck on a planet for hours and we just happened to be kissing when we were retrieved. We were only spared the embarrassment because the transporter room was empty when we got there." She paused, thoughtfully, and lowered the bowl in her hands. "That's the first time I've talked to someone about something I remember with him..."

"Good," Chakotay said kindly. "And it will get easier."

"I hope so," she replied. "Because I want to be able to talk about him. If I don't then...then it's like he never existed." She paused. "Is that how you feel about your wife?"

Chakotay flinched, the word catching him by surprise. "My wife?"

Kathryn saw the confusion on his face and blushed a little. "You said you'd lost your family...I assumed you meant your family as in a wife."

"No. I've never been married. It was a different branch of family that I lost."

"I see," Kathryn replied. "I'm sorry." She paused. "I find it hard to believe you've never had a wife, though."

Chakotay smiled, rather amused. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, you're intelligent, smart, and from what I've seen, a very patient and caring man...not to mention handsome." She blushed again, having spoken without thinking. "I mean for an older man."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Chakotay teased.

"I guess what I'm saying is I'm surprised you haven't had your choice of women."

"I've had my share of female interest," Chakotay replied, "But there was no one ..." There was no one he had really loved until Kathryn, and no one who could outshine her in his heart. "I guess I haven't been lucky in love."

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said sadly.

"But I really shouldn't be telling you all this," Chakotay continued. "It isn't right...Temporal Prime Directive."

"The almighty," she replied, a trace of contempt in her voice. "But you don't have to worry. I won't tell anyone, and I won't tell your younger-self either. Remember, I'm a Starfleet Officer too and am bound by the same rules. Although I played no part in you getting here, I'm a part of what is happening, so the Temporal Prime Directive applies to me too."

"I guess it does," Chakotay replied.

"Besides," Kathryn continued. "Before today, I didn't even know you existed. I could hardly go up to your younger-self and say he'd visited me from the future. And there's always the possibility that as a result of you being here, the future you come from no longer exists. There's also the possibility that when this is over, we'll have no recollection of ever meeting. It would be foolish of me to say anything to anyone." She paused. "But I've been thinking...The tragedy that happened to your family...perhaps I can stop it somehow."

Infinite pain filled Chakotay's eyes and he lowered them. "I appreciate the gesture," he said quietly, "but there's no way to save them. I thought about it myself, when it happened, of trying to change history somehow, but I knew in my heart that it would be wrong. I also knew that even if I could get hold of a temporal device, the events surrounding their death were too complicated for me to do anything." The only way of saving them would have been to remove them from Trebus before the Cardassians attacked, but his family would have preferred to die than leave their homeplanet. "My family were spiritual people, they wouldn't have wanted me to change the past to benefit them. I knew, even in those early days, that I would do them more honor by not interfering with history than I would by intervening to save them."

"I understand," Kathryn replied. "I went through the same thing after my father and fiancé died. I thought that if I could just go back in time to warn us all what would happen, then everything would be okay. But my father and Justin both believed firmly in the Temporal Prime Directive. It would have dishonored their memory to save them by something they didn't believe in. My father never broke the Prime or Temporal Directive in his entire career, and he was very proud of that." She paused. "But what has happened to your family hasn't happened yet. If there's a chance that I can stop it somehow...I think there's a difference between taking advantage of an opportunity and directly creating it."

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "I believe that sometimes temporal disruptions happen because they were meant to happen. I believe there is a difference between innocently finding ourselves displaced in time and discovering we have a role to play in shaping the future, than deliberately orchestrating our displacement ourselves." He paused. "But as I said, the circumstances surrounding my family's death were very complicated and I'd have to tell you things about the future that you really shouldn't know. And, even if I did tell you, there would be nothing you could do." He looked deep into her eyes. "But I really do appreciate the thought. Thank you."

Kathryn held his gaze for a moment, and then looked away, almost as though she was uncomfortable. "It must be almost midnight," she said quietly. "We've played for a while." She addressed the computer. "Computer, what time is it?"

"The time is zero hours and eight minutes."

"Passed midnight," she corrected herself. "You really should be getting some sleep. Your body needs it."

Chakotay nodded. "I'll just clear away..."

"No," Kathryn replied, getting to her feet. "I'll do it."

"But I'd like..."

"No buts," she protested. "You're my guest. So far, I've ruined dinner and dessert. At least let me try and reclaim some hospitality credits, okay?"

"Okay," Chakotay smiled. He got to his feet. "I'll say goodnight then."

Kathryn stepped closer, bridging the gap between them. "You know...if you're still around tomorrow and the rain stops, then maybe we could go down to the lake for a while. There's a castle ruin there that is over 200 years old."

"That would be good," Chakotay replied. "Archaeology, especially historical architecture, is a great passion of mine."

"Mine too," Kathryn smiled. "I love it, especially gothic architecture." She paused. "But you might be gone by the morning. If that's the case then..." she held out her hand to him. "It's been an honor to meet you and I look forward to knowing you in the future."

Chakotay took her thin hand in his and shook it gently. "It's been an honor to meet you too."

They locked eyes for a moment, and then Kathryn drew away. "Goodnight, Chakotay."

"Goodnight," he said kindly.

He then made his way to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

The rain was now torrential and beat down heavily on the cabin. Chakotay listened to the down pour as he changed into black pyjamas he had replicated for bed, and the sound reminded him so much of his boyhood in the tribe. He had lived most of his childhood in a cabin, and had fallen asleep many nights listening to the rain.

Suddenly, a streak of white lightening illuminated the room and was followed immediately by a clap of thunder. The clap was so loud that it seemed to shake the whole cabin. Chakotay closed the buttons on his shirt and then wandered over to the window. Just as he reached it, another streak of lightening flashed across the room, followed by a clap of thunder even louder than the first.

"Forget particle fountains and subspace inversions. There isn't an anomaly scarier than a thunderstorm on the plains, especially when you're six years old. I remember watching a bolt of lightning split an oak tree in my grandfather's yard. I'd climbed it just a few hours before..."

The words Kathryn had spoken following their recent encounter with a temporal anomaly, returned to Chakotay. It was very rare for Kathryn to admit that anything was frightening. Even if she was scared, she would pretend as though she wasn't. But he firmly believed that everyone had some secret fear, some particular thing they had been afraid of since childhood. For some it was spiders, for others it was snakes or water or heights. Perhaps for Kathryn it was thunderstorms. Seeing a streak of lightening split a favorite tree in two as a child could certainly instill a lifelong fear. And he remembered how afraid she had been during the storm on New Earth. The only time in seven years she had allowed him to comfort her was while they were hiding under the table during the storm.

Chakotay pulled shut a brown blind on the window, shutting out the storm, and then went over to the replicator. He replicated a pair of black slippers and a black night-robe, and then put them on. If Kathryn did find thunderstorms unsettling, then perhaps she would appreciate some company for a while. Until the storm passed, it was unlikely they would sleep anyway.

Two wall lights gave off a soft night glow in the living room, and Chakotay made his way to Kathryn's bedroom door. He knocked it lightly and then called out.

"I was thinking. As this thunderstorm's going to keep us awake, how would you like to finish our game?"

There was no response.

Chakotay frowned. It had only been about thirty minutes since he had last seen her, she couldn't have cleared up the living room, got ready for bed and fallen asleep so quickly...at least not unless she had fallen asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow, and the Kathryn he knew and loved was not such a good sleeper. In fact, she was a very poor sleeper, and a light one at that. If she had fallen asleep, the thunder would have woken her up. She could be taking a bath or a shower, but at this time of night he doubted it. Besides, the cabin walls were thin. Even with running water she should have been able to hear him...

He knocked the door again. "Kathryn?"

Still no response.

There was a noise at his feet, and Chakotay looked down. Petunia was pushing her way through an animal hatch he hadn't noticed on the door. When she was through, she sat on the wooden floor and looked up at him.

Chakotay knew that dogs were highly intelligent, and this one appeared to be more than most, so he questioned. "Is Kathryn alright?"

The dog just looked at him, and then climbed back into the hatch, disappearing as it flapped.

Chakotay was very worried now. He couldn't explain it, but a sixth sense was telling him that something wasn't right...that he shouldn't just walk away... It was also lurking in the back of his mind that he was here for a reason...not to change history, but to preserve it...and that made him more anxious than usual about Kathryn's safety. There were all kinds of reasons why he could be here, and to stop something happening to her could be one of them... With that thought in mind, he tried the door handle and found that it was unlocked. Quietly, he opened the door and stepped inside.

The same soft glow of night lights that had greeted him in the living room, greeted him in Kathryn's bedroom, and Chakotay looked around in the pale light. The bedroom was very much the same as his, only the bed was beneath the window, the foot of it directly opposite the door. Kathryn seemed the be lying upon it, Petunia at her feet. Chakotay slowly walked over to the bed and Petunia watched his every move. The closer he got, he saw that Kathryn was lying partly on her side, partly on her back, and was wearing a low cut white satin nightdress. Her right arm was outstretched and her left arm was folded over her chest. The pink sheets were disheveled and hardly covered her, and a strand of long auburn hair fell over her face.

A streak of lighting suddenly tore across the room. A blinding reflection in the corner of Chakotay's left eye made him turn in that direction, and he saw that it came from what appeared to be a bottle and a glass tumbler resting on a small bedside table. He read the label on the bottle and saw that it was a bottle of Irish whiskey. Next to the bottle was a box of pills. Chakotay picked the box up and studied it. They were sleeping pills. The box was open so Chakotay looked inside. Only four out of twenty pills were left. Kathryn clearly hadn't taken these just because of the storm. They appeared to be a habit.

"Oh Kathryn," he whispered. Alcohol and sleeping pills... aswell as all the things she'd said earlier about the future holding nothing for her...she was clearly far more depressed than he had realized.

A terrible thought then occurred to him. What if she had taken too much...or rather taken enough to make sure she would never wake up again?

He put down the pills and hurried into the bathroom, hoping he would find a med-kit under the sink, just as there had been in his room. There was. He quickly opened it and pulled out a medical tricorder. After checking it was working, he got up and made his way back to Kathryn. He sat on the edge of her bed and began to scan her. Instantly data was displayed, and relief consumed Chakotay at what it told him. Kathryn wasn't dying, she was just sleeping. She hadn't taken too many pills, in fact no more than two...

Chakotay put the tricorder in his pocket and then looked at Kathryn sadly. There were dark shadows under her eyes and her freckled face was so pale and thin. There was pain etched in every feature and her pain hurt him, as it always had. He reached out slowly and tenderly brushed away the stray strand of hair from her face.

Petunia growled at him, almost as though she knew her mistress could not defend herself, and Chakotay turned to the dog. "It's alright," he said softly, "I won't hurt her." He could never hurt her. From the first day they had met, all he had wanted to do was protect her. Why or how, he didn't know. Perhaps because a part of him had fallen in love with her that very first day...

Chakotay gazed at Kathryn for a moment longer and then got to his feet. As gently as he could, he raised the covers over her and made sure they were secure. The night was chilly, she needed to be warm. He then closed the blind on the window behind her and took the tricorder back to the bathroom before leaving. When he was gone, Petunia snuggled up to her mistress and finally surrendered to sleep.

END OF CHAPTER FOUR