Hello everyone,

I hope you are all well. Sunday is going to be insane for me, so you get your update a day early.

Warnings for this chapter: None really...

As always - thanks to to NayaFan, UnholyUnderBoob, & Beaner008 for their inspiration and encouragement. Also, many thanks to my followers, reviewers, and the people who send me lovely PM's and reminded me how much they like this story and why I continue to write it.

I'd also like to say that all reviews, be it with leaving your name, or leaving one as a guest, are all welcome. I got EVERY SINGLE notification last time, but nothing posted for 24 hours due to some glitch with the website. That glitch was posted about on 8/18, or talked about as 8/18 and fixed on 8/20. I don't know. I'm not a computer person. thanks to all of those who have stuck with the story and know that this journey is coming to an end.

Be well friends

Therapy had been finished for a few hours now and Marley was still freaking out. She couldn't seem to calm down and Santana was starting to get angry. It felt like they'd taken a giant step backward and now they weren't even in the familiarity of their own apartment. They were in the nursery of the club and it seemed to be making Marley worse.

Susan came in to straighten up the nursery and get it ready for the next day and as soon as Marley saw her, she screamed in fear, fell to the floor, burst into heart breaking sobs and tried to crawl away from Santana as fast as she could. "Nanny Susan, can you please get Miss Beth for me, I want her to see this," Santana said through gritted teeth and there were tears in her eyes as she spoke. She was trying to keep it together, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. It physically hurt her to watch her baby girl be so upset and distressed and there was nothing she could do about it. She was also probably in her deaf state again which just made things worse.

"Before I do, maybe I should give you some love first?" Susan suggested kindly and she pulled Santana into a tight hug, keeping her there, and within seconds Santana broke down too. "It's okay Santana. It's alright sweetheart," Susan cooed softly.

"I'm failing her. I have failed her and I did everything they asked me to do. I didn't fight, I swear, and look at her, she's a mess, she's even afraid of me," Santana cried.

"Shhh, sweetheart, listen to Nanny for a moment please," Susan said and she decided that she needed to treat one of the club's best Mistresses as if she were a little one in for a session. It was clear that there was too much tension in the room and it had gotten to Santana as well as Marley. "You and I are going to go sit in the rocking chair. You and I need to calm down and talk. You are not a little girl, but you are stressed and you could use a cuddle, whether you want to admit it or not, and I'm going to give it to you," she told her. She brought her to the rocking chair, sat down, had Santana sit next to her, and hugged her tightly, petting her face gently and helping her calm down some. "Now," Susan started once Santana calmed down, "why do you think you have failed?" she asked.

"She's so scared. She was doing better. She hasn't had an episode like this since Mr. Joe said she had to start brushing her teeth by herself and even that wasn't this bad. I'm doing something wrong. She's so scared and no matter what I do, or say, nothing helps her. That's failing. My job was to care for her and show her that what she experienced was not the norm, and she doesn't believe that," Santana said.

"Are you sure about that?" Susan asked.

"Look at her. I can't even go near her," Santana whimpered.

"For the moment, yes, but think about everything you've done up till today. Think about how you helped her learn to communicate, accept a pacifier, and were constantly loving and consistent with her. She drinks by herself, eats by herself, tells you when she needs things or wants things, looks to you for guidance, and that's all because you did the job Miss Beth knew you could do," Susan assured her.

"Yeah, well I still feel like a failure," Santana said with a heavy pout and cuddled into Susan. She would never admit it but it didn't feel too bad to accept love and cuddles from Susan.

"I will go talk to Miss Beth and have her come see, but I'm telling you now, stay as calm as you can, or you will be finding yourself over Beth's knee," she said and she gave her a kiss to the top of her head and left the room.

Santana took a deep breath and moved to the floor. "Marley my love, I'm right here sweetheart. It's Mommy Santana. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here baby girl and I want to cuddle you, but I can see how tense you are, so I'm not going to push. I just want you to know that I'm here for you and I want you to come cuddle. I really think it will help you," Santana told her. Marley's eyes darted around the room as she struggled to breathe and finally her eyes landed on Santana.

"MOMMY!" she screamed and with great difficulty, she crawled her way over to Santana and curled up in her lap, trying to make herself as small as possible. Her lungs burned from her struggle to breathe.

"Oh, my sweet baby girl, I am so sorry that you are so scared. I wish that I could help you to know what was sure and true," Santana said. "I had hoped that my actions were enough, but it's only been three months, so that's asking a lot of you in three months. It's probably asking a lot of myself as well," she said thoughtfully. She wrapped her arms tighter around her little girl and Marley sunk down, which allowed Santana to rest her cheek on top of Marley's head. "I love you so much, and I know that we are about to throw you for a loop and obviously therapy sucks for you right now, but please know that I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever, well maybe when I'm a really old lady, but you'll be really old at that point too, so I'm not really concerned about it," she said honestly.

Marley snuggled in closer and just rested. She heard a beat, a very soft and steady beat, and that beat made her close her eyes and try to rest. "You're about to make a liar out of me aren't you?" Santana smiled. "Nanny Susan and Miss Beth are going to come through the door any minute and see me, holding my baby, who is no longer screaming or freaking out, or locked in spasm," she said. She was glad Marley was feeling better and resting, because she definitely needed it, but she wasn't thrilled that Beth wasn't seeing what was going on.

The door opened and Beth gave a kind smile when she saw the sight before her. "I have cameras every where Santana, you know that," she said kindly, walking over to them carefully and taking a seat on the floor. She handed her a pacifier and Santana smiled gratefully. "It's one of yours, her bag was just outside the door," she said. "Talk to me," Beth said, but it wasn't a conversational statement, it was an order.

Santana put the pacifier in Marley's hand and slowly Marley felt it and inched it to her mouth. "I still feel like I'm failing. I feel overwhelmed, and out numbered and like I'm not doing the right thing for her and now Dr. Isabelle is freaking her out. She had a total melt down and was afraid of me. She's only been afraid of me once before, and even then, not that bad. I just feel like I'm not doing her justice and I don't know how to fix it, and while I'm extremely grateful and appreciative of all your help, I don't like Dr. Isabelle, she's hurting my baby," Santana said as politely as possible and Beth saw her efforts, she knew Santana was trying.

"I did see the tape sweetheart. I saw what happened, and I heard. I will talk to her, because I do agree. I think today Isabelle pushed too fast and too far and that is why Marley panicked. I also think it's a good sign, she's back in your arms and that happened organically. You didn't call her to you or continually try to get through the fog of her brain. She zeroed in on you and went to you on her own. That is a good thing. That is progress. Take her home. Rest. Both of you. I know you and Quinn will be back with both your little ones tomorrow, and I'll talk to Isabelle by then and let you know what the game plan should be. I think Isabelle knows exactly what she's doing, because I wouldn't have called her, if I didn't, but I think she doesn't know the repercussions of her specific techniques and that's what's freaking you out. You'll take the day tomorrow and we'll get it all sorted out, okay?" Beth asked, but Santana knew it wasn't really a question. She nodded and Beth smiled. "I wasn't wrong Santana, you know by now that I rarely am. You are the best thing to ever happen to Marley and while working with Isabelle is tough right now, it won't be like this forever," Beth told her kindly.

It took some time but eventually Santana got Marley home and the poor girl regressed even further than she had at the club. One look at Rachel and she started to cry. She sunk down to the floor and began sobbing. "Why are we freaking out?" Rachel asked walking over to her and helping her up into her arms. She held her close and swayed slowly from side to side, rubbing her back and it took a few minutes for it to sink in as to where she was and then Marley rested her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"And how was your day?" Santana asked and Rachel simply smiled.

"What would you like me to do to help?" Rachel asked.

"I really don't know," Santana said honestly. "Where are Quinn, Kurt, and Noah?" she asked realizing they should be home now.

"In the other room, trying to get Noah to calm down, because he came back from pre-op much the same as she is now," Rachel said.

"Is there like a full moon or something?" Santana asked angrily. She wasn't mad at Marley, or Noah, or her girlfriend, or either of her room mates, she was just mad that there was a problem for her baby that she couldn't fix. If she was being honest, she was mad she couldn't fix it for Noah either, because he was now her baby too.

"Hey, hey, hey," Quinn said appearing from the bedroom. "Can we keep it down to a dull roar please?" she asked with a smile and Santana looked ready to scream. "Sorry, sorry, I was teasing," Quinn said holding up her hands. Santana was apparently just as stressed as the kids were. Quinn walked over to Rachel and stood behind her falling into the swaying rhythm Rachel had going. Marley was hiccuping softly at this point and Quinn saw her fighting sleep. Her eyes would close and then open slowly again. "You are very close to having a sleeping little girl," Quinn whispered to Rachel who simply nodded.

"Marley baby, what if Marley and Mama cuddle on the couch hmm? We can lay down and watch Mary Poppins," she said softly and Marley nodded. Rachel very carefully sat down on the couch stretched out and guided Marley on top of her. Marley's ear went straight to her chest and she whimpered until she heard the heartbeat and then stopped whimpering and focused on the television as Rachel pressed play on the remote.

Quinn moved over to Santana and wrapped her in a tight embrace. "Would you like to punch something or scream?" she asked her knowingly.

"I can't do any of those things here," Santana said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, you misunderstand. You and I are going out. We are going to go out and punch or scream, or kick, or throw, or whatever we can think of, to get rid of this pent up stress. Our little ones need us at our best and right now, we are not."

"How are you so calm?" Santana asked angrily although Quinn knew she didn't mean it as an attack.

"I'm about forty seconds away from scary!Quinn. We need to get out of here now, because I can only keep my calm for so long. We have sitters and nearly sleeping children. We need to sneak out now," Quinn said softly and Santana nodded. They really did need to get out of the house. They each needed to find out what was wrong with the other little one, work out all their frustrations, and then figure out a plan.

Quinn picked up her phone and looked around the room. She was trying to figure out where Rachel's phone was so she could text her. Santana seemed to pick up on it and very quietly shuffled across the floor, set her phone to silent and gave it to Rachel. Quinn texted a message to Santana's phone and Rachel nodded yes and Quinn took Santana out of the apartment.

"I can't stand leaving her and I hate that she has to go through all this crap in order to "get better" when there is nothing wrong with her! She is a perfectly normal, now healthy, young lady and my little girl! What the fuck is wrong with people!" Santana yelled once they were on the street. It was New York City, her ranting was completely ignored.

"If you don't leave her, you're going to blow up, possibly at her, or Noah, and then the shits really going to hit the fan," Quinn told her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she grumbled.

"So tell me, what happened?" Quinn said.

"No. You first," Santana said. She was too angry and it wasn't going to come out correctly.

"Noah's freaking out because he is all clear for his eye surgery, however he is going to be awake while they stick him with needles and I can't be in there with him," Quinn said.

"Awake?" Santana asked in surprise.

"Awake and they showed us the needle to take him through the procedure and how it will work. All he made out was the scary sharp pointy thing, but told me, he was going to be brave, because he'd be asleep. Then the doctor corrected him and said he'd be awake. Apparently for most eye surgeries you're awake. The second he heard that, he started to cry. Then he called me Mommy, because that was who he needed me to be, and then the doctor asked him why he was so upset. It was a terrible pre-op appointment and he's absolutely terrified. He told me he wants to see, so he can see Marley, so he can convince her how beautiful she is, because he loves her, but he doesn't want to be awake. He wants to go to sleep, have it done, and wake up," Quinn said.

"Oh my God," Santana said.

"What?" Quinn asked.

"Did he really say that?"

"What?"

"That he loves her," Santana said.

"Oh, that, yeah, he does. He loves her and is completely prepared to do anything and everything it takes in order to help her see that she is lovable and loved, because according to him, she doesn't believe that," Quinn said. Santana screamed and kicked a nearby garbage can, making it rattle and grabbing the attention of several passers by. "Was that really necessary?" Quinn asked.

"Yes!" Santana barked.

"Well why?" Quinn asked.

"For that very reason. There is a nineteen year old girl, soon to be twenty, upstairs in our apartment, who thinks that she is unloved, and worth nothing. Do you know what that is doing to me? I don't know how to repair her and I hate using any of those words because for fuck's sake, she's not broken! She just fell into the wrong hands and was tortured for months! I have been with her, steadily, for what feels like forever and she still doesn't believe I will be with her, and love her until the day I die, because I will," Santana said.

"Okay, back up, refocus. What happened at therapy?" Quinn said kindly.

"They pissed her off," she sighed. "Dr. Isabelle got her to a point where she was completely vulnerable. She just became this big raw nerve ending and apparently when that happens she goes deaf. She doesn't hear anything and all she does is cry for her Mommy, which I'm pretty sure isn't me, and then promises to be a good girl until the cows come home. I can't sit there and listen to it anymore, and the second Isabelle shows up, she thinks I'm leaving her. I think the most painful part of all of this, is that I can't get her to trust me. It's like, I did too good of a job and she is afraid she's failing me somehow," Santana said and Quinn looked at her with confusion. "We made it too good, too safe, too perfect," Santana sighed.

"Well I don't think Miss Beth wanted you to beat her up," Quinn offered, trying to tease her girlfriend a little bit and lighten the tension that seemed to surround them, even on the streets of New York. Santana glared.

"Not helping," she growled.

Quinn's phone buzzed and Santana got tense. She prayed it wasn't a text from her phone and sadly, it was. "Kids are freaking out, both need Mommy, please come home," Quinn read and Santana screamed in frustration. "We'll figure it out Santana, it's just going to take a lot longer than we wanted. You and I however, you and I are going to call Nanny Susan and ask her to watch the kids, then we're going to call our favorite dom, and get ourselves appointments at the club. For us. We need it, and us taking time for ourselves, it's not a bad thing," Quinn said.

"It's just so much guilt. How can I do something for me, when I know that she needs me so much. She needs me to be with her and reassure her and help her understand things," Santana said.

"That's why you do it. That's why we do it. Our little ones are more important to us than anyone else in the world. That's probably how it should be, because that is what they want or need or in there case, deserve. If we are not at our best, and don't give ourselves a little pleasure every now and then, how do we expect to give them the best. I hate to break it to you, but we're human, and we need care and love and affection too," Quinn said. "Now, come here," Quinn said and she pulled Santana to her and kissed her fiercely. Once it broke she grinned. "I've been wanting to do that since last night," she said. "You may be an ice queen but you're my ice queen, and I love you."

Santana gave a mischievous look, and smacked Quinn's ass firmly before pulling her close and grabbing her flesh possessively. "I've been wanting to do that, for quiet some time," she said. "I love you too," she said seriously.

"We have babies to get to," Quinn said and she gave Santana a quick kiss and then lead her back to the apartment. "We walk the stairs. We give ourselves a chance to prepare," she said seriously and Santana nodded, it sounded like a good plan.

The two of them walked up the stairs and by the time they entered the apartment, Marley was bent over the sink and throwing up anything that was still left in her stomach, crying and begging for her Mommy while swearing to be a good girl. Over in the living room Noah was having a similar panic attack. He wanted Marley to calm down and he wanted Santana and Quinn to come home, to help reassure them both. Right now, he trusted Kurt and Rachel to sit with him, but there was always notification of approximately when Quinn and Santana would return to him. Today there wasn't, and because Marley was so worked up, he figured they weren't coming back at all.

"Mommy!" he cried out and it was a heart breaking noise that Quinn hadn't heard before. It was a new cry. One that was filled more with desperation and fear than Quinn had ever heard before.

"She'll be here very soon buddy, I promise," Kurt said kindly and Noah started to fight him.

"NO! MOMMY!" he screamed. Quinn moved quickly over to him and took his hand tightly, squeezing it, the way she did when he laced his fingers into hers. It was his thing, and she picked up on it quickly.

"Shhh, I'm right here bud, you're okay," Quinn said.

"No, Mommy!" he said panicked and she carefully pet the side of his face.

"Yes baby, Mommy's here, you're okay," she told him.

"No, no no. Mar-ree. No ur-ree. No! Mommy make it right," he cried and he fell into her sobbing.

She gathered him close and kept him tight against her and then looked at Kurt. He looked confused. "When we went for the pre-op appointment, they told him, he has to be awake for surgery and he's rightfully nervous, but the worst part is that I can't be with my baby. They won't let me in the room, because of hospital rules and this is not something Miss Beth can fix. I already tried."

"No b-b-br-ave. Not a-wone, I can't," he cried holding tighter to him.

"Shhh, Noah calm down baby and listen to Mommy," Quinn said gently.

"Mar-ree keem," he hiccuped.

"Marley's screaming, because Marley had a nightmare and until she fully wakes up and realizes what is going on, she's going to be upset. Right now, I need you to listen to Mommy," Kurt told him. Quinn smiled and nodded.

"The thing that you think you don't have, you have it," Quinn assured him. He was sure he could never be authoritative when it came to these kids. He loved them too much and wanted to give them everything, so he usually caved a lot of the time. "Noah, you're scared because of surgery. I know that, and that's okay. I'm glad you're scared. I'd be a little worried, if you weren't a little bit nervous, but you have to tell me why you're so scared, what do you think is going to happen?"

"Roo-n me. No eee, ever," he whimpered staying pressed into Quinn's body.

"Ah I see, you think the doctors won't be careful?" she asked him and he nodded. "Did you know doctors take an oath?" she asked and he shook his head and then tried to look to Marley when she screamed. "I know it's scary bud and I know you think she's in pain, but she's not in pain, she's confused and Marley is a screamer, so focus on me right now okay? As soon as she's calm, I promise we will go see her," Quinn assured him.

"But Mar-ree," he cried.

"I know bud, but first Noah, then Marley," she tried and he shook his head and leaned into her. He wanted no part of anything unless it was to help Marley. Quinn wasn't happy that he didn't want to talk anymore, but she was really glad, he felt that he could be stubborn with her and still be safe, so she gathered him tight in her arms and held him before looking to Kurt. "Please make my lady bug stop screaming," she told him kindly.

"I can try, but I make no promises," he said and he got up to see if he could help.

Marley had a death grip on Santana and she finally focused and looked at her properly. "Mommy," she panted, her lungs burning. "Mommy, don't leave. I be good, I swear," she told her.

"Marley, listen to Mommy, raise your hand when you hear me," she said and Marley simply nodded along. "No baby, when you hear me raise your hand," Santana said again. Marley nodded again and Rachel gave a curious look.

"This is new, what's happening?" Rachel asked.

"Santana's ignoring her," Kurt grumbled.

"Hey, Papa Bear!" Santana scolded him. "Cool it! I'm not. She can't hear me. She can't hear anything. Welcome to the new form of therapy!" she said.

"I still don't understand," Rachel said with frustration.

"Until she calms down, she is essentially deaf. She is willing to nod along and agree to anything we say until her hearing is restored, so to speak," Santana said.

"Marley's not deaf though," Rachel pointed out kindly.

"No, she's not. Not normally, but when she gets worked up and has what appears to be a massive amount of anxiety upon her, she can't hear anything."

"That doesn't make sense at all though, because when she got locked in the bathroom, she was anxious then, and we had an entire conversation.

"No, she was angry, she didn't feel any anxiety until she came out of the bathroom and we were able to hold her and comfort her. The threat of us leaving, seems to make her anxious and once that happens, she's deaf. Marley baby, when you hear Mommy, raise your hand," she said.

"And yet you keep giving her instructions, how is that going to help anything?" Kurt said protectively.

"I don't know okay?" she yelled at him. "I don't know, because I don't have a fucking clue as to what is going to help alright!" Santana yelled back at him and Quinn turned around quickly.

"Santana!" she barked.

"What!" Santana barked back and Noah seemed to shrink away into himself, while Marley continued to hold on to Santana and cry.

"Stop barking," Quinn said calmly and she shifted Noah in her lap a bit. She held him close and kept him wrapped in a hug. "It's okay bud. Auntie Tana is just having a bad day," she told him and he nodded but stayed quiet and pressed into Quinn.

"I know you don't know, it's okay that you don't know, I'm sorry I asked it like that," Kurt said and whether she wanted it or not, he wrapped her in a tight hug and kissed her temple.

"That's my job," Quinn teased from the other room and Kurt turned and poked his tongue out at her.

"Marley baby, when you hear Mama, you raise your hand okay?" Rachel asked and Marley started to squirm. She turned to look at Rachel and hiccuped as tears ran down her cheeks. "Shhh, it's okay, keep looking at Mama," Rachel said kindly and Santana heard it in Rachel's voice. She saw something new. Something that Santana hadn't picked up on yet, mainly because Santana was so worked up herself.

"Fill everyone in please," Santana requested.

"We've talked about this, I am not your little girl," Rachel said kindly and she kept her eyes on Marely. She pet her face gently and then took a breath before speaking. "Look baby, look at Mommy," Rachel said and she pointed to Santana and Marley looked at her with fear.

"Shhh, it's just Mommy baby, look at me. When you hear Mommy, raise your hand, it's okay," she assured her.

"Look at her eyes. She's trying. She hears, but she seems confused, like she's almost calm, but not quite," Rachel said. "And don't get mad, but I have to ask, because maybe you know, or maybe you didn't think to ask. Does she know she's deaf?" Rachel asked.

"That I don't know, and no I didn't ask, but it won't be tomorrow. Tomorrow therapy is cancelled. Quinn and I will be having a session at work while they spend time with Nanny Susan," Santana said. "Look at Mommy Marley, when you hear me, raise your hand, you can do it, just keep breathing and then when you hear Mommy, raise your hand," she said. They kept telling her these instructions over and over and in the living room area Noah frowned.

"Mommy, they keep saying it," he said softly.

"They are my love. We need to know when Marley hears us and right now she doesn't. When she raises her hand, then we'll know she does hear us," Quinn explained. He nodded and watched from his seat in Quinn's lap. Oddly, he saw Marley as a little girls now, instead of the more grown up version that he loved so much. The difference was that even though Marley was in her baby state, he still loved her and wanted to tell her that.

"Please get better, Marley. I have to tell you, all of you, that you're worth loving and that I love you," he wished quietly to himself, but it wasn't quiet enough because Quinn heard him and smiled. She squeezed him a little tighter and kissed his temple.

"You are an awesome guy Noah, and I'm very proud to be in your life," she told him.