Author's Note: Thanks for the nice comments and for reading my story in general (to me it's still quite unbelievable anyone wants to read my stuff ^_^). You are a very kind readership – and so patient with me^^
As for this chapter, I hope it offers a bit more insight into both Loki's and Thor's inner worlds, so to speak, and to get us away from overly lovey-dovey. I mean, I love lovey-dovey – and it's also in this chapter, no worries, but we still need some drama, right? So, we're getting to it^^
As always, reviews are more than welcome and very much appreciated.
Read, review, and hopefully enjoy ;)
Loki and Thor lie in bed, fast asleep, the thunderer's face only inches from the back of her head, his arm loosely wrapped around her midsection. If Loki wasn't that deep asleep, she would probably laugh at how easily they fell back into a routine they only dared to hold on to when they were both still children and shared a bed after nightmares or simply to talk and then fall asleep next to each other. Or during that one night when she was Maya and they lied in bed like an old married couple, getting lost in the comfort of the warmth, the love, and the hushed promises of a tomorrow that seemingly only comes about now, eons later.
Destiny is a curious thing at times.
"Empress!" a shrieking voice brings Loki out of the dark corners of her dreams right back to the reality of Tony's face on the flatscreen at the opposite wall, his hands up in the air, looking more like a child than a man – not that this is anything new.
"Enemies?!" Thor cries out, not back to consciousness yet, his head shooting up groggily. Loki plants her palm on his cheek to press him back down on the pillow, "No, so leave Mjölnir right where it is. There are no enemies to slay."
Tony blinks at the image, now firstly realizing that Loki and Thor are apparently sharing a bed.
"Oh, did I interrupt the naughty late night show? I mean... if you and Thor's hammer want to be alone a bit longer...," Tony snickers, but that is when suddenly one of the pads flies against his head. "Ow! How did you...?"
Loki just grins mischievously, "What do you want?"
"The alarm went off!" Tony cries out, now overly excited again.
"What alarm?" Thor frowns at her still groggily. Loki knocks the pillow over his head.
"I don't think I have to ask who's the dominant one in the relationship, do I?" Tony snickers. And even if he expected the next pad that now crashes against his head, he still can't help the yelp.
"Does that answer your question?" she sighs.
"Fully," Tony grunts, rubbing the back of his head against the pain.
"I will be right there," Loki exhales, flipping her long legs out of bed. Tony cocks an eyebrow at her – or rather at her short cream silk nightgown. Loki doesn't care, though, she never had problems with people seeing her body, but that is when suddenly Thor is up and awake, blocking Tony from the view by using his body as a shield, "Avert your eyes!"
Tony bursts out laughing, and Loki joins him. Neither one is really shy about the matter, and Thor's pathetic attempts to protect Loki's dignity as a fair maiden are simply hilarious, especially since Tony already saw more than that when Loki showed him her natural Jotun form a while back. Thor grumbles some incoherent curses to himself, though he still blocks Tony from view, if only to make his point.
"Thor, I'm not naked, so calm down," she rolls her eyes. "And I don't see the point anyways, so stop and go back to sleep."
"What alarm's going off?" Thor asks.
"I told you. The warning system for... visitors," Loki shrugs as her nightgown changes into trousers and a shirt thanks to her magic.
"Then I'm coming with you," Thor declares, now getting out of bed also, slipping on his red tunic. Loki rolls her eyes, "You will just knock something over."
"Empress, put your married-couple-arguments to rest till later, alright?" Tony pouts.
"I'm on my way," she sighs before she makes her way to the lab, with Thor in tow, where they meet Tony still in his PJ's and Bruce, who managed to put on some actual clothes, though they are wrinkled and the buttons are not buttoned properly, giving him the quality of a mad professor.
"So, what do we have?" Loki asks as she walks up to Bruce.
"Well, it might be false alarm, but we have to check," Bruce shrugs as both start to work on the panels, eagerly punching in numbers.
"Tony? Will you now try to be useful or just stand there and fall asleep while standing?" Bruce snorts at the billionaire.
"She almost broke my head with the damned pads she threw at me! My head hurts!" Tony pouts.
"Do you want another?" she threatens, though her voice is perfectly calm, with her eyes entirely fixed on the screens in front of her.
"Fine, fine, I work," Tony grumbles before he goes on to work, purposely using the screen two feet away from Loki to make his point.
"You are aware that the distance does not matter, right?" she smirks.
"It's worth a try," Tony shrugs, his fingers swiftly roaming over the panels.
"Okay, I think this is the real deal," Bruce intervenes in a sincere voice.
"I think so, too... and from the looks of it, something from Asgard," Loki grimaces, unable to hide a portion of disappointment in her voice. Thor blinks at her, "How would you know it's someone from Asgard?"
"That is the easiest to tell because we have you for... comparison," Loki shrugs.
"Oh, so she didn't tell you that she took your DNA and all for a scan?" Tony snickers.
"My what?" Thor frowns at him incredulously.
"That is why I don't have to ask," Loki mutters at the mechanic. Tony shrugs his agreement.
"Alright, we have a location," Tony tells them.
"But we're still missing the time parameters. This is probably already very late," Bruce argues.
"Then we should get going," Tony grimaces.
"I suggest that Thor and I go there first. We can't use our fast-transportation system yet, which means we are the only ones who can travel this distance in a short amount of time," Loki argues.
"Why take Big Guy along?" Tony frowns, to which Loki rolls her eyes, "If we're right and it's a visitor from Asgard, then who does he or she want to see most likely, hm?"
"Good point. Alright," Tony nods.
"We'll have the others on go for if something's up," Bruce tells her.
"That should suffice," Loki nods. "Then let's get ready to head out."
Once the two are dressed and armored, Loki and Thor leave the mansion hastily. Thor swing Mjölnir while Loki uses her transportation skills to move as far as her powers allow her to. They reach an open field.
"Only just in time," Loki exhales as the familiar white-blue light strikes the ground. He hair flaps against her face. The Norse Gods lean away from the beam, covering their eyes against the all-evading white and blue. Out of the light then steps a figure.
"Sif!" Thor exclaims with a mixture of surprise, happiness to see one of his companions, and worry about someone from Asgard here on Midgard now.
"My Prince," she replies, a stiff smile tugging at her lips. She approaches Thor.
"It's good to see you," Thor smiles at her toothily. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you," she smiles. "And you?"
"Tremendous," he smirks. "But as glad as I am to see you, what brings you here?"
"The Allfather," she tells him, her features hardening, but then she tilts her head to see past Thor – over to Loki.
"Do I know you?" Sif questions with a frown, blinking at the raven. Because Sif has the feeling that she knows this young woman from somewhere... if only she could remember where that was, or when, but somehow... those eyes seem familiar, while so strangely beautiful.
There is a moment of silence. Thor already means to jump in and somehow bring the attention away from Loki and back to him, but that is when Loki speaks up, "Hell, how the on earth would I know if you know me, I mean, unless I knew you. Coz then I'd know you and you'd know me, so I could say for certain that I know that you know me or that you know that I know you... I mean... you know what I mean."
She flashes the broadest of smirks at Asgard's warrior. Thor can't help but gape at her sudden... change? Sif just blinks at her, perfectly confused, "Then I guess I was mistaken. I thought I knew you from somewhere... who are you, then?"
"Oh, where are my manners?! I guess I left them in the closet right behind... doesn't matter. Anywho, I'm Jade Eyes, well, guess name says it, doesn't it? Coz of the green eyes and all? But for the record, those are real. Coz people were spreading the rumor that I wear contacts, and I'm like what the hell?! Those are my eyes, so screw you. But I love them anyways, you know fans, right?" Loki goes on in gleeful rambling. Both Thor and Sif stare at her disbelievingly, though Sif is simply confused while Thor doesn't know why on earth Loki is acting the way she does now.
"So you're Sif? Gosh, believe me, Big Guy's been talking about your badass adventures like all the time, even when no one wanted to hear it... and I was like totally excited to finally meet you! He's said that you're such a tough cookie! And I love cookies... though I thought you were taller," Loki tilts her head at Sif, whose confusion only seems to multiply with every second passing.
"Uhm... it is nice to meet you... Milady Jade Eyes...," Sif knits her eyebrows at the petite figure in front of her before she turns back to Thor, "Why is she here with you?"
"She is... part of the Avengers," Thor tells her with a grimace.
"Yeah, I'm the newest member, totally the rookie. I still get lost in the hallways like all the time, but everyone loves me coz I'm like... the mascot," Loki snickers happily. Sif just knits her eyebrows at the young woman.
"Then where are the Avengers?" Sif frowns.
"They are not as fast as we are," Thor shrugs and Loki adds, "We're the only ones with hyper-speed. I mean, he just has to swing the hammer and boom, he's there, but I'm also quite a speedy thing. So we thought we'd go ahead to do the welcome party. I should've brought confetti. I love confetti."
"How did you know about my arrival anyways?" Sif asks Thor with a grimace.
"We were within the area," Thor lies, to which Loki goes on, "My best buddy and I just dig the burgers they have in that diner not far from here."
"Best... buddy?" Sif grimaces.
"Yeah, we're like bros, except that he's a guy and I'm a gal, but same difference, right?" she snickers. "I mean, the hell, gender shouldn't matter. Race doesn't either, does it? I mean, he's from Asgard, I'm from the South – and still we get along if we don't want to kill each other. But he knows I love him coz of the hair. I just always want to braid it. Can I braid yours, too? I would totally love to," Loki goes on with her relentless ramble. Thor has to try hard to make himself believe that this is actually Loki standing in front of him – and not a female version of... Tony, on coffee-overload. However, the effect doesn't go unnoticed by Thor – Sif keeps her attention on Thor and not Loki, which is probably what she tries to achieve, if Loki just doesn't want to make fun of Sif, which wouldn't be uncommon in the least. Those two always quarrel, and that since they were both still children.
"Where is Loki?" Sif asks, seemingly unaware that the trickster stands right in front of her with a broad smile and glistening green eyes.
"Back with the Avengers," Thor lies.
"Yeah, the dweeb's busy being sorry for himself," Loki grins, which only makes Thor's wonder rise. He is used to Loki lying, but not that she is that... self-ironic, or is she? However, if Loki pursues that as a plan, it works out greatly, since Sif nods in agreement, convinced that this is just what the Loki she knows would do, or what she thinks he would do. Because Thor most certainly knows now that most of Loki's actions and antics of the past were more of an act than actual mannerisms able to properly characterize the God of Mischief. Be it that Loki actually has a much softer voice and a far more cheerful smile than that the trickster revealed back in Asgard or that anyone thought that every word he spoke was nothing but drifting clouds, that the trickster was never sincere, when very often Loki was dead-serious, but hid the truth by obscuring it with false signals.
Thor generally made the experience over the time of Loki's banishment that even if the trickster always took it serious to stay truthful to herself and that she will always be a bullhead through and through, the things Loki was formerly frowned at were nothing but reality reflected in a corrugated mirror. The God of Mischief seemingly long-since understood the art of making certain things seem bigger that the trickster found could be exposed, those that were either optical illusions anyways, or parts easily removable. At the same time Loki made other things smaller that she wanted to protect because she held them so dear that she didn't want to expose them to the light of day. If Loki didn't just put the lights out so that nothing was reflected back to reality – and she, the real Loki, remained in the shadows. As the trickster pointed out, that was what she considered or still considers protection. While others seek illuminated places so that they are supervised, seen, recognized, Loki seeks safety in the silence and obscurity of darkness.
"My Prince, I think we should go to a private place, then. It's about Asgard's affairs," Sif tells Thor, who shakes his head, "She has my trust. Whatever it is that you have to say, you can say in front of her also."
"Yeah, I'm totally loyal. And I dig Asgard, I mean, it sounds like a fun place, just like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse," Loki nods gleefully.
"Just go ahead," Thor encourages the still confused female warrior.
"As I said, the Allfather sent me to gather you," Sif tells him.
"So? What does Father want?" Thor asks Sif with a grimace. He already feared for something like that, but he still hopes that it is a profanity after all.
"You back in Asgard, immediately," Sif replies with a grave voice.
"Why is that?" Thor frowns.
"The Allfather seeks your presence in the Great Halls as soon as possible. You were gone for so long and haven't talked to him since," Sif tells him. "He was not pleased that you kept away for such a long time."
Thor lets out a grunt. He knew this was about to come, but the anger freshly bubbles up just thinking about the conversation he last had with his Father – and how he had nothing but scorn for Loki and the trickster's efforts of redemption.
"I was busy here," he argues.
"The Allfather doesn't care. He wishes to see you. And as your friend I implore you to obey this time. The Allfather is not in the best of dispositions," she argues.
"What do you mean?" Thor frowns.
"Just... come back home," Sif insists, obviously not wanting to discuss that in front of Loki, but rather back in Asgard. "He wants to see you... and we need you there."
Thor notices the almost desperate tone in her voice. And if Sif allows this kind of weakness to show, it surely has a reason. And that means that trouble is most certainly ahead of them.
"I have to talk to my friends first, to let them know that I'm heading back to Asgard," Thor replies.
"My Prince, it really would be for the best if you...," Sif means to say, but Thor interrupts her, "Or do you seriously believe that entire Asgard will burn down within this one hour it'd take for me to say my goodbyes?"
She lets out a soft chuckle, "No, you're probably right, but don't take too long."
"I won't keep you waiting too long, I assure you," Thor nods with his typical smile.
"Good, then I will let the Allfather know that you are coming soon," Sif nods.
"Yes," he agrees.
"Well...," she turns to Loki, "It was nice meeting you, Milady Jade Eyes."
"Hey, I'm totally glad to finally have met you, too, Sif-y," Loki smiles at her. "Do I have to bow now or do we hug it out?"
"I will go now," Sif replies stiffly before she turns on the heel to walk back into the center of the crater she came out of. Loki waves her hand at her hastily.
"Heimdallr, send me back whenever you're ready," she says and soon the familiar light engulfs her and she is gone again. Thor stares at the crater absently. He then shakes his head, though, and turns back around to Loki, "So now, what by the Gods was that?!"
"That... was the Bifröst," she smirks.
"Why did you put up such a show?" Thor questions, narrowing his eyes at her.
"I told you, I don't want all of Asgard to know what I do here on earth. And as I figure, that includes the shape I occupy. I thought I would do better leaving everyone in the belief that this here is as human as any other of the Avengers, well, more or less."
"But why... that character?" Thor grimaces.
"I thought I would go with something that I think is very much unlike me... so basically, I just threw Stark's character together with what I gathered on TV. Those shows about High Schools are simply hilarious," Loki explains.
"'But you taunted her," Thor argues, though he can't help the smile.
"Just because I put up a show doesn't mean I have to hide that I don't like her," Loki replies, narrowing her eyes.
"What is it with you and her anyways?" Thor shakes his head.
"She hates me for that little hair incident, still, as we all know... and I don't like it that she has, to say it with Stark's words, a total crush on you," Loki tells him.
"A crush? She is a companion!" Thor argues vehemently.
"For the longest time, she was the only female creature other than Mother you were around... until you were old enough for mead and... maidens," Loki argues, though a smirk tugs at her lips.
"Are you... jealous?" Thor snickers.
"Och, please, now don't be ridiculous. We both know that if you ever dare to make approaches to her now, you'll not only lose your head, but other body parts also," Loki tells him in the sweetest of voices.
"I will most certainly remember that," Thor smirks, trying to hide the bit of nervousness bubbling up within him, but then turns serious again as the realization dawns on him what just happened. "I'm going back."
"Yeah," she exhales. "We knew this would come one way or another, though. It doesn't come as a surprise."
"Just that it comes as a surprise," Thor snorts.
"Yeah...," she exhales. It's two perfectly different things to know that something will happen and then to actually see it happen. Just as it was different for Loki to fear Thor might die – and then see him almost die. Just as Thor feared that Loki might die – and then saw him fall into the abyss. Just as what they dare to call love now feels different than that of their night and different of what they imagined it might be like, in faint dreams and for a long time hopeless hopes. Just as the sense of foreboding is nothing but obscure colors and pictures compared to reality.
"I guess we should head back, then... to let the others know," Thor exhales.
"Yeah, we should," she nods with a grimace. Thor brushes his palm over her cheek once before he lifts up Mjölnir. He steps back and swings the hammer to disappear into the sky – and Loki follows right behind.
They are soon back at the mansion, where they are already awaited by the rest of the group, who are eager for new information.
"Okay, I see solemn faces, that either means we screwed up with the calculations or we have some real bad news," Tony grimaces as he looks at the two Norse Gods. "... like... that Asgard wants to blow up earth?"
"How bad is it?" Natasha asks.
"It's not all too bad," Loki shakes her head. "The Lady Sif came here as a... messenger."
"Oh, the badass warrior Lady?" Tony grins. Steve nudges him in the side.
"She informed me that I have to go back to Asgard to handle some business there," Thor explains.
"And for that they don't send... an actual messenger?" Bruce frowns. "I always though that this was a sort of lower job."
"And it is in the eyes of Aesir rule," Loki agrees.
"Then does that mean something else?" Clint grimaces.
"Father is aware that I'm still... out of sorts with him," Thor tells them.
"You two had a fight?" Steve frowns.
"You could say so," Thor rubs the back of his head. "So I believe that he sent Sif as an attempt of leniency."
"... your clan seems... odd," Tony makes a face.
"You have no idea," Loki mutters under her breath.
"So... you're taking off... when?" Natasha asks.
"Today," the thunderer replies.
"So it's really urgent, huh?" Bruce grimaces.
"To say the least," Thor exhales.
"Do we have to worry about this backfiring on earth? I mean, I'm just asking so that we put up the defenses, in case," Steve asks. He knows it sounds a bit selfish to ask that, but if the past taught them one lesson, then it is that you have to prepare for the outer space to dip into your space the best you can. And they have a responsibility towards this planet as the Avengers. If they know of a possible threat, they should do anything they can to protect humankind (plus a few friends from outer space and other creatures who happen to be their friends).
"Not that I know. I think it's more of... family quarrels," Thor tells him.
"Or do we have to save you now from daddy?" Tony jokes, though all know he is serious insofar he would fight for Thor or Loki if it came to it. What do you have friends for if they don't do anything to travel to another universe to kick the father and Father of the All in the ass, huh?
"I'll be fine, thank you," Thor smirks.
"How long do you think it'll take?" Clint questions.
"I do not know, but I don't think too long. Father knows of my responsibilities here," Thor replies. And he honestly hopes that he is right with this prediction. After all, Thor learned the very hard way just how little he seems to know the man he calls Father. And how many of his actions Thor believed were reality were indeed just obscure images that hid well at hiding the truth from him.
"So, just a quick trip back home," Tony jokes.
"Something like that," Thor smirks.
"Then... I guess it's time to say farewell?" Tony shrugs.
"I'll be back soon," Thor assures them another time.
"Hell yeah! Or else we drag you back," Tony jokes, clapping the Norse God on the shoulder.
"Just make sure you return in one piece," Bruce smirks. The others say their farewells also.
"I'll see you soon, my friends," Thor smirks, visibly touched by the closeness he feels to them and how they express it, showing concern, showing understanding. They exchange one last look before Thor turns to leave, Loki silently following him, a custom that seems strangely familiar especially during situations such as these. Because Loki is likely doing that, which never seizes to surprise Thor. For someone who is so self-conscious and so independent, it seems a strange custom for Loki to follow another person's lead, wordlessly, like a servant, a shadow. Yet, perhaps that is just what it is – Loki just likes the shadows.
Once they are outside the door, Thor turns to the raven woman, "You know you don't have to escort me, right?"
"And you know that I do whatever I want, right?" Loki replies
"Of course," Thor chuckles softly.
"Then let's find you an open field to disappear from," Loki shrugs before she moves fast ahead. Thor shakes his head with a smirk before he swings Mjölnir to follow the God of Mischief. They soon reach an open field on the outskirt of town. They stop in its center.
"So... you should keep in mind that you are walking on thin ice when it comes to Odin. If I were you, I wouldn't seek confrontation, but rather bring him to calm down. That is when he is most open to an argument and thus hopefully reason also. And I can only recommend you to have an observant eye on everything that happens around you. I know that this is something you don't like to do, but believe me that this always comes as an advantage for when something actually happens. You have to become aware of the details, or else you miss the greater point. If the Allfather is up to something, you have to be open to perceive that and...," Loki tells him, but that is when Thor steps closer to her, grasping the shorter woman around the back, "I know, alright?"
"You seemingly don't. Or else you would have seen through more of my schemes," Loki argues. "I just mean to prepare you."
"Don't be afraid," Thor smirks at her, tugging a loose strand of her curly hair behind her ear affectionately. She scolds at that, "I'm not afraid. You are merely going back to Asgard to spend some quality time with the clan."
"Exactly. Everything is going to be fine," Thor smirks, holding the petite woman a little closer, though she doesn't lean into his touch, but rather seeks his eyes – ready to fight.
"Thor, what are you trying to do?" she snorts.
"Properly telling you my goodbyes. I don't know how long I will be gone," Thor smirks.
"Well, then goodbye – and off you go," Loki huffs, gesticulating.
"Loki, now be sincere," Thor demands with a bit more force in his voice. The trickster glances to the side, trying to hide the expression of having been caught. Thor grasps her by the chin gently to bring her eyes back to his, "You don't have to wear that mask in front of me."
"Walking without seems just as pointless to me, though," Loki argues. "If I don't wear it, I just feel sad and stupid in being sad. Why would you want this sappy emotional wreck that can't do more than wave you goodbye as you fight the fights you should fight together, huh?"
"What are you saying?" Thor shakes his head. "You did all the work before, Loki. And what I do now, it is... those are my duties to Asgard. If anything, I'm sorry that those duties mean that I cannot fulfill those I have to you."
"You have no responsibility to me in that way, Thor," Loki snorts, but that is when he captures her lips in a tender kiss. Loki is hesitant for a moment, but then leans into the warmth of his touch.
"My duty is to love you," Thor tells her as he pulls away, blue orbs fading into green ones to leave between them the endless turquoise of the ocean. "It is my duty and my privilege."
"Ugh, you're trying to create a moment so badly, aren't you?" she huffs, though her voice is still softened from the aftermath of the love that traveled from his lips right into her heart.
"You know that I mean it. You know it's the truth," Thor insists, grasping her hand.
"Of course I know," she smiles. "And you know I feel the same. I just don't see the sense in saying what we both already know."
"Because it's worth being said," Thor reminds her. "And anyways, I just want to make sure that you don't miss me too dearly."
"You're a dull oaf, you know that, right?" Loki huffs, though she still has a smile on her lips. "I will have a grand time without you to annoy me all day long."
"Oh, is that so?" Thor mocks.
"I finally get time to read, to work...," she hums. "And you get to boast, drink lots of mead..."
"You're unbelievable," Thor chuckles. The only creature Thor knows who would act like that in such a situation is the trickster after all. Loki made it seemingly her own personal obligation to create emotional moments only where she really wants it, and otherwise fights it with gnarling teeth.
A wild thing after all.
"I know," she smirks, but then leans her head against his chest, focusing on the steady ba-dum shaking her eardrums and thus carries a portion of him into herself, if only just the sound of his heartbeat that seems to beat so much stronger than her own.
"So will you miss me not only just a bit?" Thor chuckles.
"Maybe... maybe not, who knows?" she hums.
"Loki?" Thor asks in a mute voice.
"Hm?" she hums.
"Do you want me to say anything to Mother?" he asks. Loki whips her head around to bore her emeralds into his blue orbs, "What?! What would I want with her?! I already told you that we mustn't talk about what I am now or what we two share. That includes even Mother."
"You know that she can keep a secret," Thor argues.
"And I know that Odin has his ways to sneak his way past the barriers of lies and kept secrets. I don't want to endanger Mother only just to involve her into what are our affairs of the heart," Loki argues vehemently. She knows it's odd to still consider this woman her mother, when in truth she is not, feel for her the same way one should feel for someone of your blood, someone you bore, someone you were born from. And even in all the hatred that bubbled up within the God of Mischief once Loki learned what and who she truly is, it curiously amazed her that Frigga knew about Loki's actual heritage and still had loved that child so unconditionally that even the otherwise always favored son Thor was jealous of the connection they shared.
And in banishment, Loki found her mind drifting back to the faint memories of the former days in which everything seemed so simple, because the blood that ran between them just didn't matter. Back then they were just mother and child. Loved and beloved. Teacher and apprentice. Friends. Family. What a blissful state that had been. An almost normal childhood for a strange child who lacked friends and "social qualities", Loki always reminded herself. And when the trickster allowed her mind to drift back to Frigga's voice, her smile, her soft eyes, it brought about a resolution she didn't ever verbalize, but kept deep within the corners of her being to protect it dearly: Loki considered talking to Frigga, across the realms, find a way to communicate, forbidden or not, but then decided against it – for what she figures is for Frigga's good. Mother suffered enough thanks to her wrongdoings. Loki knows how many sleepless nights and tears she cost this one woman she dared to hold so dear within her heart that warmth crept its way into her when her mind only brushed the name, the smile, the eyes of Mother, Thor's mother, but her Mother. And because she is her Mother, Loki didn't want to cause her any more pain. It's always hard to say goodbye. Why should Loki punish one of the few people she cares about so deeply by causing the pain of constant goodbyes, of the constant reminder that what they had is not real and that what they have can never be? No, Loki decided against it. A part of her honestly hoped that Frigga would just forget about her also. That the memories would simply fade, that the face Frigga would see in her dreams would falter into obscurity so that she may no longer know who was this stranger child who lived with them for a given time. As odd as it may sound, Loki still wants to believe that you show ultimate love to those you set free. And so she sought to set Frigga free of... herself.
The question that Loki thus tries to push aside quite desperately is whether this works, however. Because from Thor's words and implications she could take that she is no faint memory yet. That in Frigga's mind she is still present, still wears a face, if only not this face, but still a face she once had. That Loki didn't disappear into the shadows of the past, but that Frigga still holds on to her to carry her back into the Queen's present and hold her alive there, if only just a flicker of light, green and almost dead.
"I don't say that we have to involve her just yet, but... even without telling her that, you may want to tell her something, Loki. She misses you so dearly," Thor argues.
"Don't you think I know that?" she hisses, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to evade her eyeballs and obscure her vision.
"And that is why I think you should tell her... something. It doesn't have to be anything big, just so that she may know that you think about her, because we all know that you do," Thor argues, his voice soft and soothing behind the gruff tone he inherits by nature.
"What do I tell her? I don't want to apologize if not in person. I don't want to tell her about this. I don't want to tell her about my wrongdoings. What do I tell her that doesn't cause her more pain?" Loki asks, honestly at a loss. Just what do you tell someone you can't talk to? What do you tell someone to soothe pain? What words can soothe pain when the pain is so great that it tears you into two? Loki doesn't know. She just doesn't. Perhaps someone with a bigger heart that is not covered in thick layers of ice can tell her, someone like Thor. Maybe Loki just doesn't know because her soul is that far corrupted by the ice and cold she allowed inside her heart – so that she can no longer verbalize tender feelings or find an appropriate moment to set them free.
"Just let me tell her that you miss her. That you think about her. And that you're... well, happy," Thor offers.
"Happy?" she blinks.
"Well, aren't you?" Thor argues.
"I am... but... what would that be to Mother?" Loki grimaces.
"Everything. She is worried sick about you, Loki. To know that you are happy will make her happy also, I'm quite sure," Thor tells her with his typical smile. To him it will always be odd to be the one to offer advice to Loki, because normally it's always the other way around.
"Don't you think she'd be unhappy to learn that I have a splendid time here, but did not back in Asgard?" Loki argues. Thor holds her a little closer, "She is our Mother. She only wants the best for you, Loki. That includes being happy."
Just as Thor wants Loki to be happy.
"... fine, then tell her that," she exhales.
"Very well," Thor smiles happily.
"Well, but if you take too long, Stark will probably keep word and come get you, so you should try to make it as quick as possible," Loki says after a while of silence and shared warmth. Even though she knows that this is something Thor can't affect, even if he wanted to. If Odin sends him on a mission, Thor has to go. Those are the duties of a crown prince. And Loki accepts that – because Thor is also that, the crown prince. That is part of his being and Loki wouldn't ever want him to change for her by neglecting that side of his. Thor is the Prince of Asgard, and one day King. He has responsibilities to this realm, his home. And Loki, to the day, finds Thor's devotion, above everything, admirable.
"I won't take long, I assure you," Thor tells her with as much credibility as he can muster.
"Don't promise things that are out of your reach, God of Thunder. Or else you run the danger of becoming a God of Lies, and you know that this is my job," Loki argues mockingly.
"It is within my reach. And even if not, I shall reach out to it until I have it," Thor argues.
"Your kind of optimism I would like to have on occasion. Your world must be truly gayly colored at times, huh?" she huffs softly.
"It's only the brighter now that I'm with you," Thor smirks.
"Oh by the Gods, if you think that I will be at your service for the sweet words, you're more than plainly mistaken," Loki warns him, narrowing her emerald eyes at him.
"I just want you to smile," Thor argues, suddenly very serious. The trickster blinks at him, seemingly caught off-guard, something very rare and often foreign to Loki. Because the trickster normally has a plan for anything, an even if the God of Mischief has no plan, then Loki planned on not having any.
"Why?" she questions.
"I don't like to see you sad because of me. I have caused you enough tears," Thor grimaces.
"I won't cry over you going on a holiday, Thor," Loki argues.
"I don't say that, but I don't want you worried. You will be fine, for you have our friends with you. I will be fine, too. We'll be fine," Thor tells her. "So you can stop worrying."
"I never stop worrying. That keeps my senses sharp," Loki smirks.
"I don't say you should stop being attentive, but that you can... let go," Thor smirks.
"Of what? You? Well, you're the one holding on to me," Loki huffs.
"And I shall never let go again," Thor smirks.
"Oh, great, let's just hug till we both die, now that sounds like a plan," she snorts dismissively. Though a part of her would... not mind. Yet, that is something Loki would never say out loud. Of course.
"What I meant to say is that you can... let go of the greatest worry. You have people to rely on," Thor goes on to explain. "You are with friends. You have your inventions to aid you. And I am still standing between you and any trouble coming from Asgard. You are safe."
Loki leans her head against his chest wordlessly, trying to make her body believe in the words he just said. That she is safe. That they are safe. That everything can and will be okay. For someone who is used to pessimism and darkness, it's almost a Herculean task for Loki to believe in fortune to come knock on her door, but... she wants to try.
They stay like that a while longer until Loki pulls away to seek Thor's eyes again, an honest smile tugging at her lips, "You should go now. It wouldn't be wise to keep the Allfather waiting even longer than you did anyways."
"You're right," Thor agrees, glancing up at the sky. Loki blinks at the blue-grey mesh above also, the sun hiding behind shapeless clouds which now start to drift into forms, circles, as the Bifröst is soon about to claim Thor and bring him back to Asgard. Loki glances at the tatters of color a while longer, which is why she misses that Thor suddenly approaches her again for one last kiss. "But that will always be worth a bit more wait time."
Before Loki can say anything, Thor steps back again and the familiar blue light engulfs him, the last feature of his to fade away being his smirk. Loki brushes her fingertips over his lips absently as surprise is replaced by a smile. She turns around on the heel, and much to her own surprise, her feet feel incredibly light. So she decides to walk back to the mansion.
For the moment Loki just wants to enjoy the sun that crept its way past the tatters of clouds.
Perhaps Thor is right in his enthusiasm.
And they are really safe.
At least it's a sunny day again.
And Loki smiles.