Chapter Three: The Return of Ghirahim

"What just happened then?"
"What do you mean, what just happened then? We teleported!"
"No, the chapter was cut off suddenly!"
"It's called a cliffhanger, Shadow."
"Ah."

Shadow and Vaati sat in the middle of the Temple of Time, on a raised platform with a depiction of the Triforce on it. Ganondorf was unconscious above them in the chandelier, and nobody wanted to ask how that had happened.
As expected, it was the Temple from the OoT era. Three pendants hovered, glistening, above the stand in which they had been placed many centuries before. Beyond them, one could see a shadowed area broken by shafts of dusty afternoon sunbeams. The blade of what seemed like a sword glinted now and again, and it cast a deep shadow of its own that stretched out into the light. The two mages sat and observed it, taking in the opulence of their surroundings. Neither spoke; they simply KERRRRRAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Master, you ruined the moment!" Shadow yelled as Ganondorf disentangled himself from the wreckage of the chandelier. Vaati shook his head disapprovingly.
"Well, I couldn't help it if the chanda- whatjamajigga fainted at my awesomeness!" Ganondorf hissed back, brushing himself off over the wind mage. "Anyway-" he pointed rudely at the sword in the opposite room- "who's that?"
"Who's what, Master?" Shadow asked, craning his neck to see. "That thing over there?" He, too, pointed at the sword.
"Yeah! Hey, YOU!" Ganondorf yelled. His voice echoed embarrasingly loudly around the domed walls. Obviously, no response was forthcoming from the long- suffering blade. "Yeah, you! Skinny, short person whose legs seem to be stuck in a plinth! Show yourself!"
"They wouldn't be able to show themself if their legs were stuck in a plinth, though."
"Shut up, Shadow!"
"Shut up the both of you!" This from Vaati. "It's not a PERSON, it's a SWORD! The Master Sword, from the Era of the Hero of Time! Am I the only one who reads up on the history of Hyrule here?"

The author considered. "...You're probably the only one that can read." she muttered.

Vaati bowed. "Thank you, omnipotent four- eyes. See, even the author thinks you're stupid!" he snapped at Shadow and Ganon.
Shadow burst into tears. Ganon fluffed and considered Vaati's statement. After half a minute of thought (which was a very impressive achievement for him) he decided on his response.

"I don't care whether I'm stupid or not!" Ganondorf said proudly. "Anyway, let's go and torture that person."
"It's a sword." Vaati said in exasperation. As expected, nobody listened.
They approached it together- Vaati miserably, Shadow excitedly, Ganondorf pompously. The King Of Evil stopped a couple of paces before it, and his face contorted into a variety of expressions.
"That's confused... dead... constipated... vertigo... and back to confused." Shadow narrated as he and Vaati watched. When Ganny's features had settled, he marched right up to the sword and glared fiercely at it.
"This isn't a person! It's a- a stabby thing!" he spat. Vaati put his head in his hands, deciding not to say anything.

Shadow walked up to it, running his hands up and down the hilt appreciatively. Ignoring Ganondorf's disappointed raspberries as he realised he wouldn't be able to beat it up, the shadow boy watched his reflection in the shining metal. How could it be so beautiful, after centuries of imprisonment in this musty old temple? His hand made a motion as if to pull it out, but glancing over at Vaati the wind mage seemed unsure.

Now it was Vaati's turn to examine the blade. He could remember snippets of the legend of the Master Sword... This was the blade that had allowed the Hero of Time to travel back and forth through the ages! He wondered if it still worked. If they pulled it out, could they possibly go back in time and stop Ganondorf being born? His heart soared at the prospect!

Shadow, he mouthed, pull out the sword!
Are you serious? Shadow mouthed back. Isn't that dangerous?
We can stop Ganondorf being born!
That was all the persuasion Shadow needed. In one convulsive movement, he wrenched the blade out of its' pedestal and held it aloft.
Several things happened, all at the same time.

An explosion of light filled the room, bleaching the walls and causing the three to flinch.
A pillar of solid blue light shot up from the Master Sword as if it was a torch, illuminating their faces in an eerie glow.
There was one more flash, and this time it filled everyone's field of vision. They couldn't see a thing, and crashed into eachother in frantic confusion. Ganondorf stepped on Shadow's foot, Shadow headbutted Vaati, and Vaati promptly fell over. Ganondorf stepped on his face.

The author went and got a drink of squash.

There was a silence, before... "WELL?! DON'T KEEP US IN SUSPENSE!" Vaati yelled.
"Alright, alright." the author muttered. "Hold your horses."

After a long while, the light began to fade. Disorientated, Shadow cracked open his eye. Vaati did the same, just across the floor from him. They glanced at eachother, then looked around.
They were lying on an ornate carpet, in what seemed to be the hallway of a very elaborate castle. The colour scheme was based around dark red, giving the walls an eerie light. There was not a sound to be heard anywhere except the sound of their own breathing. The silence was quite comforting, as if-

"HOLY HOWLIN' [CENSORED]!" Shadow screamed. Vaati jumped half a mile.
"Shadow Link!" he hissed. "You almost gave me a heart atta-"
"NO GANNYBOOBY!"

The two lay there, hardly able to believe their luck. How had that... actually gone RIGHT?
Getting to his feet, Shadow was the first to take a good look around. The hallway was a bit like the corridors back at the dark side's HQ, where they had been discussing their quest in Chapter 1- they were long and empty, with some doors leading off to other mysterious rooms. He took a few tentative steps forward, his feet making smooth ksh- ksh noises on the carpet. Vaati followed him, keeping an eye out for any nasty surprises which may leap out at them. Noticing a logo on the wall, he leaned in and observed it closely.
It was quite a simple drawing; just a picture of the Triforce with a bold red line through it against a black backdrop. Typed underneath it were words that made his heart sink.

WELCOME TO DIERULE CASTLE

"Shadow..." The words seemed to be reluctant to come out of his mouth. "I don't think Ganon's gone."
Shadow turned round and came back cautiously. He, too, observed the logo and closed his eyes in despair. "Oh, [CENSORED]. How did this happen?"

"It seems that you've been transported to a Zelda game seven years in the future by the Master Sword." replied the author. "I'm debating whether to tell you who's the big shot around here..."
"Lemme guess, Ganon?" Vaati suggested.

The author typed a couple of lines into her computer. A giant Wallmaster burst out of the bricks and punched him in the face.

"How dare you!" she hissed. "I'M the big shot around here! ME! Without me, this story wouldn't even exist! You better be grateful, Asking For Disaster wasn't even going to GET a sequel!"
Shadow whimpered. "Excuse me, O omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent Cortex..."
"Yes?"
"Are you the villain of this story, then?"
The Wallmaster that had previously punched Vaati hoisted Shadow up by his collar. "What do you mean by that? Do I LOOK like a witch to you?"
"No, no, no!" Shadow squeaked. "I just mean... villains are really cool, aren't they? And you're really cool! Yeah, you are! So... uh... are you, like, the Queen or anything?"
He was gently lowered to the floor, much to his relief.
"No, no." the author sighed, typing random letters into her keyboard. A marimba appeared out of mid- air and Vaati started playing it maniacally. "Unfortunately not... You'll find out in a couple of minutes who your lord and master is. I guarantee you'll be happy about it! Oh, and what do you think of the kingdom name? Hyrule to Dierule?"
"It's better than Lorule." Vaati whimpered as he began playing the marimba with his feet. The author smiled, and a ray of sunlight pierced through the gloomy clouds outside the castle.
"Of course it is. Now, I'd better stop interfering with the story."
With that, there was a snap and the Wallmasters disappeared. The marimba also vanished, much to Vaati's relief.

"This is getting painful." groaned the fourth wall.

Vaati and Shadow froze as they heard footsteps coming down the hallway. These footsteps, unlike Ganon's, were light and dainty. Sometimes they would pause, and there would be a little tappity-tap-tap rhythm as the owner of the feet apparently did a balletic dance. Then they would continue, and as they came nearer and nearer the two had little option but to sink into the shadows. Shadow found himself clinging onto Vaati's tunic and swearing under his breath. Vaati just stood stock- still and formulated emergency escape plans.

The figure finally came into view- and the two recognised the slender, pale figure at once. However, he was not the lowly lackey he had been seven years before. Instead he walked with a proud, regal grace, head held high and vision fixed straight ahead as if regarding the palace with all the pride in the world.
"G- Ghirahim?" Shadow breathed. "What happened to him?"

"I don't think he's our servant in the future, somehow." Vaati gulped.

DIERULE! Wah ha ha ha haaaaaa! You have no idea how long I spent thinking of that one xD
So, which pun do you think is worse? Lorule or Dierule? One sounds like it's out of a bad fanfiction, the other actually is! Whoohoo!

justarandomguy: Thank you for the favourite, follow, and review! Actually, you've waited about three months for a sequel, so I reckon you deserve one for being so patient! ;) And I'm glad you liked the progression, thank you so much!
Haha, I know right? Don't worry, I always find the toilet humour moments pretty amusing too. (Is it wrong to laugh at your own story! xD ) He's going to be doing a lot more of it, no worries... poor old Ganny and his gas problems!
And actually, your English was very good! I'm impressed! :3

WraithHeart: Haha, well I'm sure you got a surprise this chapter! Alas, Ghirahim seems to have progressed up the hierarchy quite a lot in this chapter! I wonder how long it'll last... he won't be used to being top dog, bless him. He'll probably have a nervous breakdown soon enough XD
Yeah, Shaddy has it pretty easy compared to Vaati, and as for Vio... well, he spends most of his time avoiding yaoi fans in the HQ, but apart from that I wouldn't imagine he has much trouble. Well, maybe!
Ah yes, brain deterioration IS one of the side effects of Tingle exposure. I reccommend lying down in a nice dark room until the hyperventilating wears off.
Yaaay! Death threats! :D Alex Mercer? Isn't he the human that was transformed into the virus? *shivers* Aaauuuugggghhhh! I don't wanna be consumed! *has Ghirahim- style nervous breakdown*

Parody Perfect: Thank you for the review! :3 I'm so glad you liked!
O_O Wow, you really think so? Thank youuu! *squee* Well, I'll try my best...though I'm sure there'll be some terrible plotholes and cringeworthy humour coming along shortly XD
Haha, I wonder! I haven't decided yet (why the heck do I STILL not prewrite...?) so we'll see! XD

Swamp Dragon Princess: Thank you for the follow! :3 I hope you enjoy it!

If you want to review, you don't have to leave a review for each chapter, you can just comment on the two as a whole :3
Farewell until next Sunday! *waves*