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Way The Wind Blows

Chapter Eighteen

6 Weeks Later

"I thought you'd be staying here over Christmas," Gretchen Janeway said to her daughter over the cabin's small wall comm display. "At least Christmas Eve. You always do."

"I know," Kathryn replied, "but I've got a lot of things to do this year. Not just the cottage, but other things. Besides, I'm really liking it here and have been invited so many places."

It wasn't a lie. Not only had she been invited to several Starfleet Functions, but to a number of parties. She didn't plan on attending many, in fact only one with Mark, but the invites were plenty.

"I see. But you'll be here for dinner though, won't you?"

"Yes," Kathryn smiled, knowing how much a family dinner at Christmas meant to her mother. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"If you want you can bring a friend," Gretchen said. "Male or female."

Kathryn knew from her mother's tone that she was implying a boyfriend. "Are you suggesting something?"

"No," Gretchen replied hastily, "I just meant that if..." She sighed. "Oh okay, are you seeing someone? Because if you are, you don't have to hide it from me or tell me the details. I just worry about you, especially with you spending so much time up there alone."

"I know you do," Kathryn answered, "and you're right. I am seeing someone. But that's all I'm willing to say."

"All I wanted to know," Gretchen smiled. "I thought you must be. You've never spent so much time up there before or been as secretive." Her mother then couldn't help but ask. "Is this someone Irish, by any chance? Is that why you've decided to live there?"

"You said you wouldn't ask for details," Kathryn reminded her.

"I know," Gretchen replied. "But you can't blame me for trying. And I have to say, I'd love to meet him. How about inviting him to join us for Christmas dinner."

"Mom," Kathryn protested.

"It would be a good time for him to meet everyone. Your Aunt Martha and Uncle Bob will be here, your cousins, Phoebe and her new boyfriend..."

"He's shy," Kathryn interrupted. "And you can't tell anyone about us, not even Phoebe. I only told you so that you won't worry about me."

"And I appreciate it. And of course I won't tell anyone. This is just between you and me."

Kathryn smiled. "Thank you."

A door chime sounded in the background and Gretchen turned away from the screen. "That's my friend, Sally. I'm going to have to go."

"Ok, Mom," Kathryn answered. "Talk to you soon."

"You too," her mother said, turning back to her briefly. "And take care up there."

"I will. Bye!"

"Bye."

The connection them terminated.

When the screen went blank, Chakotay got up from the couch and made his way over to Kathryn. "Shy, huh?"

Kathryn laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, I had to say something. And don't worry, she won't bother us. She might be nosy, like all mothers, but she's always given me and Phoebe our space." She smiled. "Besides, if she does call unexpectedly, we can always say you're the repair man."

Chakotay laughed and then Kathryn kissed his lips.

"Now," she said, drawing away, "let's get into our riding gear and swap this icy wonderland for Mexican sun!"

Kathryn laughed heartedly as she and Chakotay raced on white horses across a sandy beach. Never had she ridden this fast, never had she raced so hard or struggled so much to overtake her competition.

"Come on, girl," she said, urging the horse to run even faster, "you can do it..."

At this encouragement the horse picked up yet more speed and Kathryn triumphantly sailed passed Chakotay.

"Good girl," she laughed. "Keep going. We're almost there!"

But just as they were yards away from the finishing line she and Chakotay had marked in the sand, Chakotay whizzed passed her. Kathryn did her best to catch up with him, but to no avail, Chakotay crossed the line first.

"I win," he laughed as they slowed down and turned their horses to meet each other.

"Only just," Kathryn smiled. She then looked up at the sky, her face a picture of joy. "But what a ride! Boy, what a ride!"

Chakotay dismounted his horse and went over to Kathryn's, offering her his hand to dismount. Kathryn took it and jumped from the horse.

"No one's ever defeated me," she said, seeming to delight in her defeat as much as she was her potential victory. "Not even on the holodeck with the safeties on!" She then poked his stomach. "But don't you be gloating. Before we leave today, I'll have you beat."

Riding faster than the wind, Kathryn flew across the beach, determined this time to beat Chakotay. Glancing quickly behind, she laughed to see him yards away, and then spurred her horse on faster. After a while, she looked behind again, relishing in her lead, but her triumph turned to horror when she saw Chakotay's horse was running behind her riderless. The race forgotten, she turned her horse around as soon as she could and scoured the shore for Chakotay. She saw him, lying face down in the sand.

In no time at all she reached him, dismounted her horse, and hurried over to him.

"Chakotay," she cried, "are you hurt?"

He made no answer and she saw that he was unconscious. Trembling, she knelt beside him and felt for his pulse. She found it, soft and steady. Instinctively she reached for her tricorder, but found that she wasn't wearing one.

"Damn," she cried.

What was she going to do now? She couldn't call for medical assistance because Chakotay didn't want anyone to know he was in this time-frame, but neither could she leave him here injured while she rode back to the transporter station to be beamed back to the cabin.

But then the dilemma took care of itself as Chakotay stirred awake.

"Chakotay," she said, relief consuming her.

Slowly, painfully, he tried to sit up.

"Don't move," she said, "you may have broken something."

"I'm okay," he said, putting his hand to his head. "At least I think so."

"We're going to have to get you back to the cabin. Will you be okay while I ride back to the station and get myself transported? I'll then transport you and get someone to collect the horses."

"I'll be ok," he said.

Kathryn reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Then I'll be as quick as I can."

Without another word, she climbed back onto her horse and in seconds was just a speck in the distance.

When Kathryn had accomplished her mission of reaching the cabin and transporting Chakotay to safety, she took out a med-kit and went over to him. He was lying on the couch, conscious, but dazed.

"I don't know what happened," he said. "One moment I was riding and the next I was on the sand."

"You may have blacked out," Kathryn said. "The effects of Post-Transportation-Trauma can last for months and it was pretty hot out there."

She opened the med-kit and pulled out her tricorder.

"But this has made me see that I'm going to have to take some more medical classes. I can do the basics, but not enough to effectively be your physician."

Activating the tricorder, she knelt beside him and then began to scan him. As she did so, her face paled.

"What is it?" Chakotay asked.

"I...I'm detecting chronoton particles," she said quietly, "cellular degeneration."

That could only mean one thing: a temporal transport attempt.

"But it's mild," she said, "not like before."

Chakotay made no reply. If it was a temporal transport attempt, that had to mean his future still existed. But how could it? he had felt so sure it was gone...

"It might not be your people," Kathryn said, trying to convince herself it wasn't. "It might just be a PTT flare up. It happens and we have been heavy on the transporter lately."

Again Chakotay made no response. The last thing he could remember before blacking out was riding like the wind. There had been no dizziness, no headache, no warning he was going to pass out. It was possible there had been no warning, but a temporal transport attempt seemed more likely.

"We'll have to stop," she said. "No more transporting for you for a few weeks."

She then pulled out a hypospray from the med-kit, fiddled with it, and then put it to his neck.

"I'll put you to sleep and stabilize the PTT."

A darkness fell before Chakotay's eyes, and then he was asleep.

Outside the cabin's small windows, soft snow fell from a midnight sky, lacing an already white carpet of ice. Inside the cabin, Chakotay sat before a roaring fire and gazed at a silver heart locket nestled in a box of white satin and red velvet. He had intended to give Kathryn the locket for Christmas, but if his blackout had been due to a temporal transport attempt, another could be made any moment and he wouldn't be here for Christmas. He hoped with all his heart that Kathryn was right, that he was suffering from a flare up of Post-Transportation-Trauma, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was a temporal transport attempt.

Suddenly, he heard movement inside the bedroom, movement that had to be Kathryn, and he quickly snapped the box shut and hid it under a cushion. He was just in time as the bedroom door opened aseconds later and Kathryn came out, followed by Petunia.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "But I hope I didn't wake you."

"No," she said. "This furry lump did by sleeping on my foot." She made her way over to the couch. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine," he answered.

Kathryn sat beside him and watched as copper shadows danced over his tortured face. "Then what's wrong?" she asked kindly. "Because you can tell me. You don't have to be strong for me all the time. I want you to share your burdens with me too."

Tears filled Chakotay's eyes. "I'm afraid," he whispered.

"Of what?"

Chakotay was a moment in answering. "That my future isn't gone. That I'll have to leave."

"Your future is gone," Kathryn said. "I'm sure of it."

At that Chakotay turned to her. "But what if it isn't? What if I have to leave? I don't want to, Kathryn. I don't want to go back."

Kathryn took his strong hands in hers and squeezed them. "And I don't want you too. But if you do, and you won't, then we'll still have each other. Because if I love you, then she does too."

A tear ran down Chakotay's cheek. "Not like you do. She's never loved me the way you do."

"I don't believe that. Don't you see? If your future still exists then she and I are the same."

"Not if all this is erased from time," Chakotay argued. "And I know that if it is all erased, I won't remember anything, but I don't want it be erased. I don't want to be anywhere except here with you. I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I. And it won't. All the transports you've had lately have aggravated your PTT, that's all. You're going no where."

"But the chronoton particles..."

"You're out of your time-frame. They'll probably resurface until your PTT fully clears. You're here to stay, Chakotay."

Chakotay looked at her sadly. She was sure of it, or at least had done a good job of persuading herself.

"So no more talk about you leaving," she said. "Understand?"

Chakotay nodded, but then put his hand to her cheek. "Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"That if this is some kind of alternate reality and I go back to my own, you won't...no alcohol and pills."

Kathryn put her hand over his and kissed it. "I promise."

TWO DAYS LATER

"Wow," Chakotay said, admiring a huge smiling snowman Kathryn had built in the snow. "You've been busy."

With a red nose and snow-covered gloves, Kathryn turned to him. "We're old friends," she said, "Mister Snow and I. Every year, exactly ten days before Christmas, he'd come visiting. I didn't know as a child, of course, that my parents built him, so I'd wait at my window every year for him to come from snowland. And he did, without fail. One minute there'd be just an empty backyard, the next Mr Snow would arrive in a transport beam. Phoebe and I would rush out to greet him and then leave him milk and cookies. When it was time for him to go, usually New Year's Day, we'd wave him goodbye." She turned back to the snowman and looked at him fondly. "Even when Phoebe and I were too old to believe in snowland we'd build him. Somehow it wouldn't feel like Christmas without him."

"I can understand that," Chakotay replied. "And you've done a great job."

Kathryn smiled. "All he needs is some finishing touches. A hat...a scarf..."

"Want me to replicate them?" Chakotay asked.

"No need," she said, taking off her own blue hat and scarf. "All taken care of." Skillfully, she wrapped her scarf around the snowman's fat neck and then popped the hat on his head. "There," she said proudly. "All done." She then bowed before her creation. "Welcome to Alberta, Mr Snow."

"He says thankyou," Chakotay teased.

Kathryn laughed and stepped away from him. "I think this deserves a coffee and a cake. What do you say?"

"Absolutely," Chakotay smiled.

With that, Kathryn headed back to the cabin, Chakotay following.

"I believe there's a pageant on the lake every Christmas," she said, just as she was about to step into the cabin. "Would you like to go? We can ride in my shuttle."

When Chakotay made no reply, Kathryn turned around.

"Chakotay?"

But he was no where to be seen.

Tears flooded Kathryn's eyes. "No," she cried. "You can't be gone, you can't."

But he was gone. Her Chakotay was gone.

Hardly able to breathe from the pain, Kathryn sank to the icy ground and wept in agony.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHTEEN