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Way The Wind Blows
Chapter Twenty One
When Chakotay disappeared with the yellow light of the transporter beam, B'Elanna studied the console before her, waiting for confirmation that he had reached his destination. It took a few seconds, but it came through just as the flashing green lights on the transporter grid turned pink again.
"Transport complete," she said, looking up at her captain. "But it took longer than I thought. I guess because of the distance involved. I think we should give him at least a minute to stabilize before we transport him back."
Kathryn made no reply. She just stared at where Chakotay had stood.
"Captain?"
Rather dazed, Kathryn turned to B'Elanna. "I'm sorry?"
"I said I think we should give Chakotay at least a minute to stabilize before we transport him back."
Kathryn forced her mind to engage her brain. She had to concentrate, had to make sure that everything came full circle - that Chakotay was not transported back too late or too soon. So far, B'Elanna had not realized Chakotay had been sent back in time, and she had to make sure things stayed that way.
"I'll update the co-ordinates," Kathryn said. "Otherwise we'll just transport him back from the same point in time as we transported him to."
B'Elanna stepped aside, allowing Kathryn access to the console, and Kathryn was glad that B'Elanna did not insist on doing it herself. Kathryn then updated the co-ordinates, estimating the time Chakotay had been transported back all those years ago, just as she had estimated the time he had arrived. It was strange to think that whatever her estimate was, it had to be precisely accurate, because the effect of her action preceded the action itself. It only took her seconds to update the co-ordinates, but as she did so, she remembered there had been a transport attempt a couple of days before he left. Working quickly, anxiously, she reconfigured the co-ordinates and then both initialized and aborted transport in a split second, hoping B'Elanna wouldn't notice. She didn't. Then Kathryn reconfigured the co-ordinates again and stepped away from the console.
"All done," she said.
B'Elanna took her place. "I'll initialize transport."
"Not just yet," Kathryn replied. "I think we'd better have the Doctor present." If Chakotay had suffered Post Transportation Trauma the first time he was transported, he would most likely do so again. She hit her commbadge. "Janeway to the Doctor. Report to cargo bay 1 immediately. Janeway out."
B'Elanna questioned. "Why do we need the Doctor?"
"It's a considerable transport, B'Elanna. We'd better have the Doctor here. Chakotay may suffer some form of Post Transportation Trauma."
"He won't. The Daiyk use this technology all the time. It's perfectly safe."
The Doctor materialized. "Medical emergency, Captain?"
"No," she replied. "I just want you to be present when we transport Chakotay back from the Alpha Quadrant."
"The Alpha Quadrant?"
B'Elanna explained. "The Daiyk gave us a temporal transporter. We've sent Chakotay to Earth and now we're bringing him back again. It's an amazing piece of technology, Doctor, and our warp core is more than sufficient to power it. We'll be able to get the crew home in no time."
Alarm consumed the Doctor. "I can't believe you transported Commander Chakotay without consulting me!"
"There was no need."
"There was every need! This technology is not compatible with human physiology. Daiyk physiology can withstand the stress of being transported vast distances at transwarp speed, but human physiology can not!"
B'Elanna swallowed nervously, but tried to dismiss his concerns. "You're overreacting, Doctor. You don't know anything about this transporter technology."
"That's where you're wrong, Lieutenant. When I heard about it, I was fascinated by the concept of being able to transport a humanoid through time and space. I've attended public medical lectures on the subject and I've talked about it with many medical experts. It may be compatible with Vulcan, Klingon and Cardassian physiology as they are more resilient, but it's not compatible with Human, Bolian, Bajoran, or Ktarian. A single transport may not kill Humans or Ktarians, but it would most certainly kill Bajorans and Bolians. Even for a Daiyk, a transport of this magnitude is not without some risk."
"Chakotay reached his destination," B'Elanna said quietly. "We had confirmation."
"And has no doubt suffered severe Post Transportation Trauma. If it's not treated, a second transport will kill him."
"I don't believe that," B'Elanna said, on the verge of tears.
"Then you had better start believing it, Lieutenant, because if you bring him back right now, he will be dead on arrival!"
Kathryn calmly stepped forward. "Time is no object here. Remember, this is a temporal transporter. It can transport someone to the past and from the future. All we need to do is forward the retrieval co-ordinates by a few days, and bring him back. He's bound to have been treated by then."
"Treated by who exactly?" B'Elanna asked. "We sent him to a remote cabin in Canada!"
"He will most likely have summoned help."
"If he could," the Doctor replied. "If he wasn't unconscious on arrival, then he would be within minutes."
"If, if, if..." Kathryn said, rather sharply. "That's all I'm hearing from you, Doctor." She went over to the transporter. "Move aside, Lieutenant. Let me update the destination coordinates by a few days."
B'Elanna dutifully stepped aside again, and Kathryn pretended to update the co-ordinates.
"Scan for him now."
B'Elanna performed an intensive scan and found him. "I've got him, Captain. He's alive."
"Then, as I thought, if he did suffer from Post Transportation Trauma, he's been treated. Get a lock on him, we'll bring him back."
"No," the Doctor interrupted. "His body will have been significantly traumatized by the initial transport. Even with treatment of the highest standard, a second temporal transport could prove fatal."
B'Elanna turned to Kathryn. "Perhaps the Doctor's right. Perhaps we should leave him there. He's home, he's alive, and he's safe. Maybe we shouldn't bring him back if there's any risk he won't make it."
"We promised him we'd get him back, Lieutenant. And I'm not going to break that promise. He might have a headache for a while, but I think he would gladly put up with that to be back with us. If it's true what the Doctor says about the transport being fatal to some crew members, then there's no way we can use this technology to get the crew home. That means that Chakotay will be home alone. I don't think he would want that. He's First Officer of this ship and his place is with us."
"You're right," B'Elanna replied. "We promised him we'd get him back. And we don't even know for sure if he suffered Post Transportation Trauma. I'm going to bring him back."
The Doctor protested. "B'Elanna..."
But it was too late, she had initialized transport.
The flashing pink grid lights turned blue, and seconds later, Chakotay began to materialize.
As his body took shape amidst a glowing orange light, Kathryn felt her heart pound in her chest. Everything had happened so quickly that she hadn't had time to absorb it all. The irony itself was overwhelming. For so many years she had wondered how and why her Chakotay of so long ago had come into her life at that time, in that place. But of all the scenarios she had imagined, she had never ever imagined it was she who had sent him. The realization was mind blowing. And now he was coming back...now, after so many years, she would come face to face with the man who had captured her heart all that time ago, and who she had never really stopped loving. For so long she had wondered if her Chakotay and Voyager's Chakotay were one and the same. Sometimes she had felt sure that they were, other times she had felt sure that they weren't. Sometimes she had hoped with all her heart that they were the same, other times that thought had terrified her. But now she knew for sure that they were one and the same, and what she was going to say, what she was going to do, she really didn't know...
The light turned red and disappeared as Chakotay solidified. However, as soon as the light vanished, Chakotay collapsed onto the flashing pink grid in an unconscious bundle.
Immediately the Doctor rushed over to him and began to scan him.
"He's dead," the Doctor cried. "Are you both satisfied now?" He hit his commbadge. "Doctor to transporter room one. Beam Commander Chakotay and I directly to sickbay."
Seconds later, they both dematerialized.
Kathryn stared at the transporter grid in horror. This could not be happening...it just could not be happening...She was dreaming...having a nightmare...it could not be happening.
B'Elanna spoke, desperation in her voice. "I'm going to sickbay."
The cargo bay doors swooshed open and shut as B'Elanna departed for sickbay, and Kathryn was left alone.
For a long time, Kathryn just stared at the grid, trying to take all this in, trying to find a course through the raging storm in her mind to a safe embankment. Chakotay couldn't die...he couldn't. And he wouldn't. The Doctor would revive him, treat him, and all would be well.
Clinging desperately to that thought, Kathryn made her way over to the transporter and recalled the destination co-ordinates. B'Elanna had Federationized the transporter's computer, so it wasn't hard to navigate the system. It took Kathryn less than a minute to delete the stored coordinates, and then she cleared transportation history. She then shut the transporter down and left for sickbay.
The doors to sickbay were shut when Kathryn arrived there, and B'Elanna was standing outside. The half-Klingon was agitated and hit the doors with the palm of her hands in frustration.
"They won't let me in," she cried. "Dammit!" She then lay back against the wall. "That damn transporter! We should never have used it."
"We didn't know this would happen," Kathryn said quietly.
Sickbay doors opened and Tom appeared.
B'Elanna turned to him. "What's going on? How's Chakotay?"
"Alive," Tom replied. "But only just. He suffered severe Post Transportation Trauma. The Doctor was able to revive him, but his injuries were so extensive that it's not looking good. He has serious cellular degeneration throughout his body, including his brain. He's currently on life-support and it's going to take the Doctor a while to treat all his injuries."
"But he will be alright, won't he?"
Tom put his hand on B'Elanna's shoulder. "I don't know, B'Elanna. At this point, anything could happen." He paused. "And there's no point you and the Captain hanging around out here. We'll call you when there's news."
B'Elanna turned to Kathryn. "This is all your fault, Captain. You knew there was a chance of Post Transportation Trauma, that's why you called the Doctor. I didn't. I thought it was safe." Tears welled in her eyes. "I would never have sent him if I thought there was any risk. How could you, Captain? How could you have put him at risk like that?"
Tom tried to reason with his wife. "B'Elanna, it isn't fair to..."
"Yes it is," she replied. She then turned back to Kathryn. "If Chakotay dies, it's all your fault, Captain...all your fault."
Tears flooded Kathryn's eyes and she could take no more of this. "Excuse me."
Without another word, Kathryn turned around and left.
Alone in her quarters, Kathryn sat in her favorite chair and hugged a cushion to her chest as she wept. She still couldn't believe all this was happening... But it was happening...it had to be happening...because if it was a dream, she wasn't waking up. And she wanted to wake up...she wanted to wake up and find herself lying in her bed, knowing Chakotay was safe in the quarters next door. For so many years she had hoped to find her Chakotay again and to have answers to her questions, but now all she wanted was the questions...
"Doctor to Captain Janeway."
Kathryn froze at the sound of the Doctor's voice. She couldn't respond. She didn't want to know if Chakotay was dead. There was no way she could bear it.
"Doctor to Captain Janeway."
But she had to be strong...she had to face this...
"Go ahead," she replied.
"Please report to sickbay."
Kathryn could hardly breathe. "Chakotay... is he...?" She couldn't even say the words.
"His condition is very serious, Captain. I would like to discuss it with you."
"Of course," she said quietly. "I'll be right there."
When Kathryn arrived in sickbay, she found only Chakotay and the Doctor present. Chakotay was lying on a biobed, attached to life support, but she couldn't see his face because of the protective dome that was covering him. The Doctor left his patient when he saw his captain enter, and he went over to her. Kathryn said nothing, just gazed in Chakotay's direction.
"I'm sure you're hoping that I'm going to tell you that the Commander will be as right as rain," the Doctor began, his tone betraying the anger he still felt towards her, "but I'm afraid that is not going to be the case. The Commander suffered severe cellular damage to his body and brain as a result of the second transport. It appears that he did have prior treatment for Post Transportation Trauma, but the treatment was incomplete and unprofessional. A second transport put too much stress on already weakened cells, and this caused immense physiological trauma when the Commander rematerialized. He suffered cardiac, liver and kidney failure, aswell as a brain hemorrhage."
Kathryn made no reply. She just stared at her hands, her face deathly pale.
"Most of the damage to the Commander's body I was able to repair," the Doctor went on. "But the damage to his brain, I was not. If he does survive, there will be permanent brain damage. I can say that with absolute certainty. How severely this will impact his quality of life, I can't predict at this stage. He may have motor and neurological impairment, but given the location of his brain trauma, the most likely problem will be cognitive. He will almost certainly suffer from amnesia. At best, he will only suffer mild retrograde amnesia, meaning he will simply have no recollection of events prior to the second transport. As frustrating as that can be, it won't affect his ability to serve on this ship. At worst, he will suffer severe retrograde and anterograde amnesia. If that is the case, then the Chakotay who wakes up will never again be the Chakotay that he was. He will have little awareness of who he is and will have serious difficulty remembering things on a day to day basis. There would be no way he could continue to serve as First Officer." The Doctor paused. "It's only fair that I warn you of all the possibilities."
Kathryn nodded. "I understand." A tear ran down her cheek. "This is all my fault. I should never have let B'Elanna use that transporter without consulting you."
"No, you should not have. And if you had listened to me back in the cargo bay, then the Commander would not be lying here now in a coma with permanent brain damage. You've gone too far this time in your zeal to get the crew home, Captain, and you leave me no choice but to state your negligence in my official report."
Kathryn took the reprimand without retaliation. Her only response was to look up in Chakotay's direction.
"Leave us alone, Doctor. Please..."
"Very well," the EMH replied. "I'll be in my office...writing up my report."
With that, the Doctor left.
As he disappeared into his office, Kathryn slowly made her way over to Chakotay. When she got close enough to see his face, her aching heart almost stopped when she saw her Chakotay of so many years ago lying on the biobed before her. A thin mustache graced his mouth, his hair fell in waves from his face, and his forehead was bare. Kathryn raised her hand to her mouth as her whole being contorted in agony.
It was a long moment before she withdrew her hand.
"I'm sorry," she whispered tearfully. "I'm so sorry."
With blurred vision, she reached out and put a trembling hand to his cheek.
"Don't die, Chakotay. Please, don't die."
END OF CHAPTER TWENTY ONE